Five Tips To Make Your Intimate Life More Enjoyable

May 18th, 2017

Some people appear to be lucky in all things relating to intimacy and love. If your intimate life isn’t as exciting, enjoyable or uplifting as it could be, however, this doesn’t mean that you’re simply destined to miss out on the zest and spontaneity that you crave. There are five, easy things that every woman can do to make her intimate life more enjoyable.

1. Pamper Yourself To Build Your Confidence

Confidence is everything in the bedroom. If you feel good about yourself and about your body, you’re far more likely to take a proactive approach to both giving and receiving pleasure. The good news is that boosting your confidence can be as easy as indulging in a day of head-to-toe pampering. Schedule a salon visit to get a facial, a body scrub, waxing services, and more. You can even treat yourself to a new haircut, color and style. Revamping your appearance and investing in sultry, eye-catching clothing that highlights the best aspects of your physique is virtually guaranteed to add some passion to your love life.

2. Don’t Forget The Romance

A lot of women are surprised to discover that guys like romance too. Women have long been conditioned to think that men only tolerate foreplay. Things like ambiance, environment and pillow talk could be just as important to your mate as they are to you. As such, if rough play and dirty talk haven’t been producing optimal results, consider bringing a softer touch to the bedroom. Telling your guy how much you love and appreciate him could be as much of a turn-on as a wild striptease, if not more so.

3. Love Your Body Just the Way It Is

A lot of articles will tell you that you need to improve your fitness and your health to have a better sex life, but these all feed into a beauty and fitness industry that profit by convincing us that we’re not good enough as it. Sure, you can work out if it makes you feel good, but if you can’t or you simply want to love yourself along the way, that’s important, too. Imperative, really. So thank your body for serving you well right now despite all its imperfections, and don’t forget to celebrate its uniqueness. After all, you’ve only got one.

4. Go Shopping For Accessories And Toys

If you and your partner have been together for some time, sex can begin to feel a bit routine and mundane. If this sounds familiar, consider shopping for a few exciting accessories and toys at a reputable adult shop. These products are guaranteed to liven things up a bit. More importantly, there are a number of lubricants, gadgets, and garments that are designed specifically for enhancing physical pleasure. Bringing new toys to the party will additionally show your partner just how flexible and willing to please you truly are.

5. Treat Your Guy To A Night With The Lights On

The importance of confidence in the bedroom cannot be overstated. When you feel like you’re on top of the world, open up and treat your guy to a night with the lights on. This is a totally different experience from exploring one another in complete darkness. It adds an erotic edge to intimacy and it will show your mate that you’re not afraid to be totally open about who you are and how you look. Best of all, many men love being intimate with the lights on. Thus, not only will this be an exciting and new experience for you, but it’s also certain to drive your man wild.

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Erectile Dysfunction and Extramarital Sex

January 5th, 2009

A friend of a friend was looking for advice on her current situation. Her husband had been having troubles with erectile dysfunction for a while and while prescription medicine solved the problem, it was no longer working. Add to it that his doctor had just confirmed it would be a permanent issue, and my friend was feeling disgruntled. Her husband suggested that she go out and find someone else with whom to have sex and she was wondering whether or not this is a good idea. She certainly wished for sexual intimacy and was considering sex outside her marriage but wasn’t sure.

My first reaction was that there may be other activities husband and wife can do together. Oral sex and mutual masturbation both popped into my mind. Use of toys is also something I would advocate. A hollow dildo may work for some while others just might use vibrators and regular dildos. Use with her husband or alone, this friend might not feel as much of a need to seek sexual gratification after all. Furthermore, I encouraged her to research alternative treatments for ED such as acupuncture or herbal remedies. I’m no doctor but it certainly seemed like all involved parties gave up on finding a solution, not just for his ED but for achieving sexual intimacy together, rather quickly.

I next wondered if their relaitonship was stable and whether extramarital sex, even if condoned by her husband, would cause further strain. As I inquired further, it became obvious that everything wasn’t peachy keen. She and her husband were no longer sharing the same bed, resulting in an even further loss of intimacy. While she felt willing to look into other ways they could be intimate together, he had already written off the subject. It was clear, not being able to perform in bed had done a number on his ego and confidence, thus it was affecting their relationship.

As this information came to light, my opinion quickly changed from “this might be a plausible solution” to “This couple needs therapy, not extramarital sex.” What they had both perceived as problem in the bedroom was really a larger problem with their relationship, of which sexual frustration was only a symptom. It seemed to me, that by considering she have an outside sexual encounter, this couple was only putting the cart before the horse. By working on meeting each others’ emotional needs, I have a feeling the wife will feel less of a desire to have sex with others and they might be able to substitute other activities for vaginal sex, instead.

Now, in their specific situation I would strongly encourage therapy and, if he was not willing, she should go alone. I would not recommend that she continue with the idea of sleeping with others, at all. Still, were their relationship strong and healthy, it may have worked out as long as they were both sure about what they want and made sure to vocalize it.

While what he was suggesting might be a completely selfless sign of love, it could also mean a test. If she had sex with another man, he might judge her as failing or not loving him enough despite his flaws. Or perhaps he really isn’t comfortable with the idea at all but feels he must do something so that she does not leave him for something better. Either way, even a stable relationship would suffer. This is why it’s important to be honest not only to our partners but to ourselves.

It may take a little soul searching in order to really know whether or not he is okay with his wife having sex with another man and it even may be difficult for her to come to terms with the idea. Feelings like jealousy, resentment and poor self worth may surface here but they are all surmountable. If you’re Is it absolutely possible to put aside human traits of jealousy and possessiveness? Sure. Do we all have the will to do so? Not usually. If either partner is uncomfortable at all, it’s not something which should be acted upon, at least yet.

Furthermore, it doesn’t hurt to analyze the desire to seek out sexual fulfillment elsewhere. If this woman had done so, she would have discovered that she was not looking for sexual gratification alone; rather, she was looking to fill the emotional loss she was experiencing due to her husband pulling away. While he might be okay with her being in a sexual relationship with someone else, would he feel the same about her being emotionally intimate with another?

Which leads me to my last point: it’s vital to discuss (and agree upon) expectations and guidelines. The more she talked, the more it sounded like she was looking for a full time boyfriend but I could not help but wonder if this is what her husband had in mind. Perhaps he expected her to only have no-strings-attached one night stands. Perhaps he expected they would only have vaginal intercourse or not engage in activities which he felt we special to them (whether sexual or otherwise). Does he expect them to use protection? If so, what kind? Will she tell her new beau that she is married? Discussing when, where and how these trysts can occur not only helps to make sure all parties are on the same page but can help to shed light on whether or not everyone really is comfortable with the situation.

While I think this arrangement can work for some people, I think it doesn’t work for more people. I think certain conditions must be “met” before a couple should consider this. Other activities should be considered first, the relationship must be stable and healthy, both partners must be accepting of the idea and completely honest about their feelings and it’s a good idea to discuss guidelines and expectations beforehand.

If you have been successfully involved in a similar arrangement, it’s extremely likely it’s because you gave it some thought and followed these guidelines. Many of these considerations are those which belong in any relationship (honesty and communication) and others can be effective in negotiating open relationships or threesomes as well.

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It’s all coming back to me now

October 29th, 2008

We’ve had sex a bit more recently than usual this week, for which I am grateful. I think we so often don’t have enough time or I’m waiting for the mood to be just right – what I do for everything ,not just sex – and it just doesn’t happen. We enjoyed his days off by being romantic and intimate. I have missed closeness, rather than just having sex. It has been very pleasureable. We also tried out a few new implements on the bedroom including some basic cock and ball rings and Kama Sutra’s Raspberry Kiss Honey Dust (Wow!). Both really added to the experience and I think he is now more open to the idea of more toys and such in the future which is just awesome.  It seems like a spark has been reignited and I’m not sure I even noticed it was out!

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Ending the Dry Spell

September 23rd, 2008

It was not nearly a drink of water but a beautiful oasis I encountered after so many days in the desert. It was as if satiating, rejuvinating water flowed down my throat and across my skin, heightening my senses. This was no ordinary oasis, no ordinary experience.

Reluctant at first, I pulled him on top of me, his leg in between mine. A familiar exchange, our bodies rubbed and grinded against eachother. His cock was hard against my hip while I rubbed myself against his leg. I felt the return of familiar hormones and feelings. Although I hadn’t wanted it at the beginning, I did then.

His kisses covered my skin, eventually moving south. Ever attentive, he lavishly pleasured me with his mouth and fingers. As heavenly as it felt and although I could feel my orgasm building, it was long and taxing in effort.  He was selfless, as always (or maybe not; he is quick to profess his addiction to performing oral sex on me) and brushed aside my apologies.

His body moved up until his cock slid into me, effortlessly. It felt as though it had been ages since we had last been intimate. Perhaps it hap. There was no discomfort or awkwardness; everything worked together like a well oiled machine (and by that time I was well lubricated by my own arousal and his saliva). His cock felt wonderful and filling in that hard-yet-soft way.

He thrusted, I rocked in return. For whatever reason, his cock felt better than I remembered. Was it simply because it had been so long? Or was it something more?

We continued in our passionate throes, moaning and panting as we did. I was able to lose myself completely in this sexual bliss, one hand snaking below to rub my clitoris and pelvic bone as he thrust in and out of me. But I wanted it deeper, harder knowing all the while that what I wanted would make him orgasm sooner.

But I wanted it and demanded he please me with his cock. I came again for the second or third time and as I commanded him to fuck me harder, to come in me, he moaned in kind. His thrusts came more powerful and I came again, a satisfying and shuddering orgasm as he spilled his hot cum inside of me.

As his semen came rushing into me, a flood of emotions came rushing out and, before I knew it, I was crying. Hot tears ran down my cheeks in a torrent of sudden emotion and I held his body close to mine, physically spent but emotionally charged.

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