I recently asked a question on the Eden Fantasys forum about lube. Let me ask here, too.
Do you use a different lube for your toys than for sex? If so why and what brands?
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Worth the Wait
September 25th, 2008
What is it about having sex after a break that makes it seem so much better?
Is it simply physical? It’s no secret that a body will experience a stronger orgasm after an extended period of time without release. Perhaps sex is better because the climax is that much stronger.
Or maybe it is that having sex after a dry spell refreshes your memory to how good it is. It’s not any better than it normally is, you simply forgot.
Of course, there’s always the possibility that neither of those is true. It could be an emotional reconnection, solidifying the bond once again in a physical way.
Yet, it could be that a break reminds us of when we first had sex. As we become reacquainted, we may go through some of the same awkward moments and experience how it is to (re)learn about ourselves and our partner. But it’s okay if it’s uncomfortable, silly or even painful.
And there’s always the relief. There’s no more worry about when or if you’ll have sex again because this is it. For now, at least, you’ll be satisfied and you can experience something you love. All the time and energy spent trying to have sex had finally paid off.
Truthfully, it’s more likely a combination of some or all of these things, and then some. It’s a complex relationship between hormones, physical pleasure, emotions and mental clockworks. But whatever it is, it can sometimes make the wait worth it.
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The Gears are Grinding
September 18th, 2008
I’m writing articles and reviews in the back of my mind. In the mean time, I thought I’d share with you a cycle I notice that I’m in. It seems that the less I have sex, the less I think about it and the less I want to have it. The also seems to be true; the more I have sex, the more I want it and the more I think about it.
It’s sort of a curious trend but not without it’s logic. The less time I spend having sex, the less time I think about having sex and the further away from the idea of sex I grow. The less time I think about sex, the more I spend thinking about other things and the more I concentrate on other subjects, the more subjects arise to keep my attention. As my mind distances itself from the subject, my body does, too which is a fair assessment when you consider that female arousal and sexuality is mostly mentally based.
On the other hand, the more time I spend having sex, the closer my mind is to the issue and it will be more easily aroused to continue having sex. The effect my mind has on my body is obvious. I’m aroused more easily and quicker to accept sex. When sex takes up a larger part of my mind, other subjects are forced out and I think of it even more.
The one thing I find interesting is that these trends don’t necessarily have a correlation with masturbation quantities although quality might be something different. If I am not having sex, I might be more likely to masturbate but if I’m not thinking about sex at all, I may be less likely to engage in self stimulation. The same lack of trend is apparent when I am having sex. An increase in sex may mean an increase in general arousal and thus more masturbation or it may mean that I’m being satisfied more and thus masturbate less.
I think the difference here is in purpose of masturbation. Generally, it’s just done to get off; it’s a mechanical motion rather than a passionate or emotional one. While self gratifying, it isn’t necessarily satisfying and I usually see it more as work than play time. Of course, this changes when I have more time and space and can make it more of an experience, I will go above and beyond the call of duty but this is not all the time.
It’s interesting to see how these trends and even the lack of trends about masturbation are so heavily connected to my mind. Of course, considering how deeply rooted in mentality female sexuality and orgasm is (which is another topic for another time), I shouldn’t be surprised.
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Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
September 9th, 2008
There’s something so very satisfying, both sensually and emotionally, about lying next to someone else during night. Listening to him sleep makes my heart swell with the knowledge that he feels free to be so utterly vulnerable next to me in bed. Even more, that he wants to stay with me during the night instead of sneaking out will always bring a smile to my face. To know that not only is he comfortable but that he desires the closeness is wonderful.
And when it comes to sensuality and sexuality, it is also pleasing. When I see the profile of his face, his neck, his shoulders.. glistening slightly in the pale light, it always turns me on. To know that I could reach over and caress his wonderful skin or more and that he would more than likely respond in kind sends a tingle through my body.
I will never tire of lying next to him.
