Wanna Be Naked Intimate Shave Creme

February 29th, 2012

Wanna Be Naked Intimate Shave Creme

Wanna Be Naked Intimate Shave Creme
$9.81 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

The last pink cupcake-scented product I received from Classic Erotica was their shaving cream. Classic Erotica also makes the famous Coochy cream, which I’ve used and liked so I expected a similar experience with this product. To begin, I love the smell. It smells the same as everything else in the line and makes me shower time very pleasant. It doesn’t really stick on my hands because I use a few lotions after the shower, but using the lotion after shaving with the cream definitely prolongs the smell.

Like the rest of the products, the labels explains that the shaving creaming is:

  • Paraben-Free
  • Sugar-Free
  • Sulfate-Free
  • Made in USA
  • Not Animal-Tested

The cream comes in a plastic pump bottle that has a cap and locks. Handy. The pump isn’t very high on these bottles and while it doesn’t impede function, it bothers me on some level. The height is just awkward enough that the shelf in my shower doesn’t allow me to pump it, so I have to pick it up and use both hands.

The texture of this shaving cream is quite thin and that’s not a good thing. I find that I wind up reapplying at least once when I use it, because the water of my shower rinses it away. I adjust the shower head so it doesn’t hit me directly when I shave; however, this is not good enough and the cream rinses down the drain. This is definitely annoying and a thicker formula would solve the problem.

The cream isn’t as slick as some that I’ve used. I don’t need super slick shaving cream for most areas and it can make it difficult to hold a razor. I do get a closer shave than the Pure Romance cream I was previously using. It doesn’t feel as good in the shower but after? After my shower, my skins feels pretty smooth and incredibly soft. I rather enjoy the feeling after I shave and it feels closer, once I dry my skin, than in the shower. I achieved a damned near perfect shave the other day and couldn’t stop feeling my legs.

I recently acquired a new Schick Hydro Silk, which I like quite a bit. Together, I am quite happy with the results but my legs are still itchy after I use this to shave. That was something I never experienced in the past but has been pretty common in the recent years. I always apply a layer of lotion after I shave, so it’s not a deal-breaker. I haven’t experienced any major irritation or bumps with this shaving cream. In fact, I tried my new razor without it and did wind up with some unfortunate razor burn. I do still apply a layer of Monistat chafe relieving cream to my super-sensitive inner thighs after I shave them.

I would use this product again, were the price right and it is cheaper than many of the shaving creams sold specifically for intimate areas.

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Categories: Non-Sex Toys, Reviews

Tor II

February 21st, 2012

Tor II

Tor II
$119 from Lelo

So Lelo sent me Tor II. It’s one of those toys that I would be a little more interested in if I had a partner, you know? I’ve never had a lot of luck with cock rings, to begin with. The cheap ones collected lint, got slimy and tore. Vibrating ones were too weak and they’ve been a bitch to get on. My ex, as it turns out, kind of hated them (although he didn’t tell me) so we quickly gave up on the idea, I think. But I figured I’d give the Tor II a try and, because I currently have no partner — douchey or otherwise — I popped it on my favorite cock.

What you need to know about Tex is that it’s squishy, perhaps more than an erect cock would be and it’s got a diameter of 1.5″ middle of the road stuff. Yet, there was no way I was going to get the Tor II on this without some lube. So, lube it up I did. I used a water-based lube because while a high-quality silicone lube may not have reacted with the ring, I sure as hell am more careful when it comes to my VixSkin. I’ve been growing out my nails, though, and I feel like the Tor II is just not quite stretchy enough. My nails were digging into the dildo. How would a many like it? I’ll give you a hint: he wouldn’t.

The thing is, I don’t think that silicone can be at stretchy as some other materials and I’m not sure how thin it can be before it breaks. Which means that you’re not going to want to use this cock ring on a cock much larger than the dildo I used. Granted, it may be easier on a flaccid penis but bringing in the testicles is going to present it’s own pair of challenges — haha — and the whole experience requires a bit of time and patience and just isn’t fun. Plus, the ring is actually a flat-ish silicone band that’s about 1/2″ wide so you have to make sure it’s not inside out. One thing I found interesting is that the band of the ring isn’t a flat strip. If, you were to cut it in half and look at it from the side, it would look like this ]. On the top and bottom, it angles inward, toward the penis. I don’t think it’s something you would feel but it bugs me when I clean it. I just don’t understand why it’s not flat, like so |.

So, it wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done and my imaginary VixSkin man was in pain but I got it on. And then I turned it on, which wasn’t so easy either. By that time, my fingers were covered in lube and, as I said, I have fingernails now. The buttons are round and slightly concave areas on either side of the cock ring. Like the new third button on JeJoue’s Uma, Mimi, etc. The design is just really hard for me to use and the fustration isn’t sexy.

But if your fingers fit better, the buttons make sense. There’s only two of them. + and -. If you can’t figure out how to use them, you probably couldn’t figure out how to open the box so just walk away. Speaking of the box, mine advertises a dark green toy. Because it was part of the first batch, this was an error. Mine is a pretty medium purple. I don’t mind it but I was just surprised.

So I turned this on and right up to the highest steady vibration level because the vibrations are pretty weak and buzzy. I mean, there’s more impressive than some bullets and the other vibrating rings that I’ve used but I generally opt for clitoral vibrations that are more noticeable. Even though I wasn’t impressed, my body responded more than I thought and there was some miniscule orgasms even before I started my real experimenting.

As I guessed, thrusting wasn’t super fun. I don’t enjoy the buzz/no-buzz/buzz/no-buzz sensation. I prefer constant contact until I get off, damn it! However, I was super surprised that the shape of the ring worked so well for me. It’s square and wide and horizontal and I figured my fluffy vulva would just get in the way. What I found out, though, is that if I am able to hold the dildo still (or if a partner were to stay still), I can grind up against the base of the dildo and the Tor II pretty successfully. The width actually provides a broader contact space, which I do like. It also helped the vibrations to more deeply resonate in my body. The buzzy vibrations left the pulsation and escalation feeling more lackluster, though.

Despite the hassle, I can see myself using this with a dildo again. I can see myself using it often. It was different and grinding against it was pretty damned pleasurable. The smaller size wasn’t fighting for space with the base of the dildo, either. The problem is, this is designed for couples but I feel like it’s not actually going to do much good while you’re thrusting. Unless you enjoy general vibrations in the sort-of genital area, you’ll probably be disappointed. It works for me as a masturbatory aid but I wouldn’t spend $120 on something that isn’t a bit more versatile.

However, it is rechargeable and waterproof and comes with a storage pouch and Lelo’s warranty. If you’re a collector of Lelo’s products or already know that you like cock rings and are sensitive to light vibrations, then this may be a good option for you.

Lelo Tor II

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator

February 17th, 2012

Trojan Midnight Collection Vibrator

Trojan Midnight Collection Vibrator
$89.00 from Babeland

The Trojan Midnight Collection vibrator gets a pass from me. In fact, almost a glowing review.

Unlike some G-spot vibrators, this one offers a little girth in addition to the effective G-spot curve. The ridges in the silicone and rigid inner mechanism allow you to easily stimulate your g-spot while feeling fulled. Because the curve of this vibrator is less extreme than the Pure Wand, for example, it doesn’t curl back on you to stab you in the pubic mound.

The multi-position feature is a joint in the center that allows you to turn the shaft in several places so it becomes a gentle “S” shape again. This might be easier to use depending on your position of specific preferences and it also makes this toy better for partner play than the Pure Wand.

The buttons are easy to use and find, which is something that even the big names struggle with (I’m talking about you JeJoue!). One button turns on and up vibrations while the other turns down or off the vibrations. The soft, silicone buttons are located on the end of the toy — that curves toward you when using it as a “C” shape — and are raised. They’re easy to press whether your hands are covers in lube or you have nails. Sweet!

The vibrations are powered by 2AA batteries so they fall in the moderately rumbly side of things. I like AAs. They’re my power-source of choice if I’m using battery-powered toys. The first setting is lackluster so I turned it up a few times and found the sweet spot that make me squirt and squirt and squirt. It took me by surprise.

I am pretty impressed with the look of this vibrator. The hard plastic has this sheen to it that seems very luxurious. The layer of silicone over the insertable portion is a little squishy, unlike many silicone-coated vibrators. Squishy enough that my cats have already chewed on it, ha! The ridges are very prominent and not suitable for someone who doesn’t enjoy intense stimulation.

Although it is clear in the images, I cannot stress how large this toy is. It’s materials aren’t very heavy; however, smaller hands may have a harder time grasping the entire handle. I would have expected Trojan to market a toy for sex toy newbies and while they may enjoy this, the person who will love this vibrator best is really the one who wants full, intense stimulation with moderate vibrations.

If the Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator were the only G-spot vibrator in my collection, I’d be happy. I would recommend it to others but I do think the price is a bit steep. Babeland doesn’t offer a lot of vibratos in this same price range so this one is filling a gap. You couldn’t wrong saving $20 and buying the Fun Factory Boss instead.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

24K Double Pleasure

February 13th, 2012

This is an archived review. Joyful Pleasures no longer exists, and I have since found out they are not a reputable company.

If you’re looking to buy similar glass toys, check out Lilly’s post on glass safety first!

Joyful Pleasure is a new manufacturer that is now being carried by My Pleasure. They have a bunch of cool designs that you should check out. I was given a chance to review their gold-hued dildo. To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s actually just tinted or actually has gold fumes.

I’ve used a lot of toys, you guys. Some of them are good, some of them are bad. Few of them are great. Reviewing definitely has become mundane. And then a toy like this comes along and I’m like “Where have you been all my life?”

In fact, I think I will write this entire review as a conversation between me and this dildo.

Dildo: Knock Knock

Adriana: Come in, come in!

[Dildo Steps In]

Adriana: WOW, you are motherfucking gorgeous. I mean, your profile picture were hawt but I want to wax poetic about your beauty. Those pictures do NOT do you justice.

Dildo: Thank you. I try.

Adriana: You also remind me a lot of another dildo I tried. I liked it. I haven’t used it for a while. I wonder if you’re be any better.

24k Double Pleasure

Dildo: Why don’t you try me and find out?

Adriana: Can I bathe you first?

Dildo: I’m not self-conscientious at all.

Adriana: Awesome! Wow, you sure have a purdy shine under water. You’re super slick and easy to clean but I better be careful not to break your head off. I’d cry and cry and cry.

Dildo: Can we play now, Adriana?

Adriana: Of course. I’ll just add a little lube. Wait, you’re so clear, I can’t even see the lube. Where the hell did it go? Okay, I’ll just add some more, even though you’re so slick I really need very little.

[Editor’s note: although this toy doesn’t seem all that large, the 1.5″ diameter feels a little larger due to the unforgiving nature of glass and both the ridges and nubs raise 1/8″ from the surface]

Dildo: Why don’t you try my ridges first? They’re exceptional and I’ll bet they’ll stimulate your G-spot nicely.

Adriana: I bet you wi– HOLY SHIT! YOU ARE AMAZING! I FORGOT THAT MASTURBATING CAN ACTUALLY FEEL GOOD. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I NEVER WANT TO STOP.

Dildo: Isn’t it awesome how you can feel every ridge? And how my firmness and gentle makes it easy to hit all the right spots? And the head on the other side is pretty good to hold onto, don’t you think?

Adriana: OH GOD YES.

And so Adriana thoroughly enjoyed the shit out that dildo, remembering that masturbation could be enjoyable and not just a means to and end. She then decided to try out the other end.

Adriana: Hmm, this is a little disappointing. These bumps don’t do much for me at all.

Dildo: I’m sorry, would you like me to go away?

Adriana: No, never! Shut up! I’ll stick fuck the other side of you.

And so she did. The end.

Gorgeous Glass Dildos

In case you’re the type of person who is caught up with trivial details, here’s a copy footnotes.

  • This dildo comes with no storage so that’s sad.
  • It’s 9″ in length altogether. The 1.5″ diameter is at the widest point of the heads and not the shaft itself. The shaft remainds about 1″ in diameter — without the textures — and is consistent in girth.
  • The heads, for me, didn’t do anything. I was using the textures against my G-spot.
  • The ridges are actually a continuous line swirled down the shaft to produce 4 or so ridges on any side. There are 4 rows of bumps as well.
  • Apparently, I liked bumps better when I tried my first glass dildo. Weird.

5 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women

February 12th, 2012

Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women

Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women
$14.95 from Good Vibes

I’ve had this book for a while and I had a hard time finishing it, not only because it didn’t make stars but because having a broken heart makes me less horny. It’s odd, I know. So I started reading this book and it was difficult for me to get a feel for it. I mean, I liked the title and the cover image but what exactly is erotica for women anyway? I think it’s kind of an arbitrary description for soft-core erotica, right?

It took me a while but I eventually realized that the theme here is fantasies had by women so most of the stories are essentially characters getting really worked up because their fantasies are finally coming true and I can appreciate that because I think far too much. Others, however, simply appear to be fantasies of the actual authors because there isn’t a solid mention of how the fantasy element plays into it.

Because the stories are all about fantasy, there is a lot of sex with strangers and in places where the character would not normally have sex. However, the novelty soon wears off — at least, it did for me. There were a couple stories that did stand out, including one about sex with the IT guy and another that culminated in sex as a cemetery. Still, more stories were forgettable than not, for me. One in particular was oddly bad. It was written in an abrupt and halting way, which I suspect was done on purpose, but read in a very unsophisticated manner that didn’t do much for me.

Although this is billed as for women, there is a lot of sex. The focus here is definitely heterosexual; although, there are a couple group scenarios. A few of the stories involve light bondage but PIV and oral sex seem to be the most common sexual acts. All in all, Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women just wasn’t different enough from the typical erotica anthology and, apparently, I like different.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

Crazy Girl Soy Massage Candle Pink Cupcake

February 4th, 2012

Crazy Girl Soy Massage Candle Pink Cupcake
$15.99 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

Right, so let me go ahead and say that this product is the one I liked the least even though it smells amazingly like the other products. Well, sort of. The cool wax does and the first time I burned it, it did but then the scent changed into something that smells a whole lot more like burning hair and wasn’t amazing. Initially, I thought I might just use this as an actual scented candle because it’s so awful as a massage candle but I guess that’s out too.

The problem with this as a massage candle is that the melted wax — which is soft and has a low melting point so it doesn’t get too hot — feels thick and sticky. It actually made it more difficult for my hands to move across skin and the tacky feeling remained on my skin so that I wanted to wash it off. I suspect that the melting point is actually too low and that this is solidifying prematurely but, whatever the case, it’s not thin and slick enough to work well as a massage product and that makes me sad.

Otherwise, this is a sulfate-free formula like the other pink cupcake products. It comes in a heart-shaped, metal tin with a cover which make it easy to store or travel with. The wax is supposed to contain soybean oil, coconut oil, hemp seed oil, Vitamin E and carotene and a million other natural oils — all of which are good but because I cannot stand this on my skin, it’s not going to moisturize or any of the other benefits. According to the product description, these ingredients are all awesome because..

combats wrinkles and uneven skin tone
healing properties
skin softening
reduces appearance of wrinkles
neutralizes effects of dehydration
protects against dry skin
anti-inflammatory.
soothing
relieves dry, itchy skin
improves skin surface
assists in scar and acne treatment
protects skin from itchiness and free radical damage
We can assume that this list is slightly exaggerated but, either way, I want a product to do what it says before offering all these extra perks and this soy massage candle just doesn’t. I wish I loved it but I can’t. Maybe some of Classic Erotica’s other candles work better.

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Categories: Massage, Reviews

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.