I Don’t Want to Have Sex with Myself

October 28th, 2015

Well, no, that’s not exactly right. I am a sexual being. I generally enjoy masturbating, even if my orgasms are more perfunctory than anything else, and even if the most I get out of squirting is bragging rights (it doesn’t accompany orgasm).

But it’s not something I’ve ever been good at planning per se. Because I don’t I want to. Unlike with sex, masturbation is almost always something I do at the spur of the moment, and that’s how I like it. If the mood strikes after watching a particularly sexy movie scene or browsing Tumblr, I’ll pause for somewhere between 1 and 10 orgasms, weak wrists and fatigued arm muscles allowing.

I can’t really entice it to happen, however. Sometimes erotica helps, but it doesn’t always. And I don’t necessarily care that much. It’s like I simply can’t be bothered to stop playing Ingress or watching another episode of The Munsters (because it’s almost Halloween!) or playing some random Facebook game that’s not just a time suck but a boring one at that.

It’s disconcerting to care so little for something that defines me so much, but right now it’s something I can “get away with” because of my lack of sexual partner. And even if you argued I am my own partner in this, it’s not something I’m chasing myself down to do. I’ve no doubt this will change eventually, but it’s a weird place to be in right now.

 

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The Latest Bondage Trends: From the Bedroom to the Catwalk

October 23rd, 2015

Fashion designers are looking to bondage for some inspiration this season. So how can you sex up your look?

Bondage has been pretty popular in the bedroom for a long time. Plenty of people use things like whips, cuffs and chains to spice up their love lives – but bondage has been reaching a far bigger audience of late. Yes, we’re talking about fashion. From handbags to wedding dresses, the runway has been decidedly raunchy this season. So if you’re wanting to invest in some bondage-inspired buys, here are some ideas.

Catwoman

Catwoman takes a few cues from bondage

Dressing to impress

The fashion industry’s fascination with all things bondage isn’t exactly new (remember that dress of Liz Hurley’s?), but recently we’re really seeing a lot of it on the catwalk. From sheer tops with strategically placed leather straps at Tom Ford, to big, bold black leather coats at Givenchy, it seems that designers are keen to walk on the wild side. If you want to spice up your wardrobe this winter, then take inspiration from what we’ve already seen on the runway. Dresses with sheer panels that flash the flesh are great for those who are a little daring. Likewise, corset detailing and metal studs will ensure that you turn heads for all the right reasons.

Those all-important accessories

If you’re not feeling quite brave enough to rock the look head to toe, then why not invest in some accessories? Knee or thigh high leather boots are really popular at the moment, and look just as great with skinny jeans as they do fishnet tights. For extra style points, go for a pair with buckle or lace-up details. The same goes for handbags too. A bag made from black, patent leather with chain handles is a great way to introduce a little bit of raunchiness to your wardrobe.

Walking up the aisle in style

It’s not just everyday fashion that’s getting a bit risqué though. Bridal dresses are taking some inspiration from bondage too. This year’s Bridal Fashion Week has seen plenty of out-there designs from some of the top designers in the industry – with one memorable dress featuring black straps that just preserved the model’s modesty! If you’re not feeling that daring, then just opt for some sheer fabric detailing and delicate cut out designs.

Something a little racier

If you’re bringing some excitement to your wardrobe, then it’s only fair that your sex life gets the same treatment too. Treating yourself to some bondage gear is the perfect way to spice things up in the bedroom. For beginners, handcuffs and soft whips are the perfect introduction into the world of S&M. If you’re more of a seasoned bondage enthusiast though, you can really push the boat out. Sensory deprivation hoods, medical instruments and strap-ons are all there to be taken advantage of. Whatever you decide to buy, you can be sure that your sex life will reap the rewards!

How will you rock the trend?

As you can see, bondage has never been hotter than it is right now. It doesn’t matter if you’re buying yourself a new pair of shoes, a party dress or upgrading your sex toy collection, you’ll be spoilt for choice. Remember, your look can be as daring as you want it to be – whether that’s in or outside the bedroom. So go on – indulge your love for all things x-rated!

 

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October 21st, 2015

I don’t know how to make this blog relevant to my life right now. And I haven’t for a while.

I feel so torn about this. For the first time in a a while — a couple years, really — I am more than “fine.” I am really okay. Good, even. And I’m glad.

But right now, that just doesn’t involve sex or love or even masturbation. My life is lacking in all the things that I need for blog fodder.

It’s not as though I will ever lose interest in sex. It’s a very important part of who I am, but it’s not the only thing. I think that’s something I need to come to terms with to finally get over the Bartender.

And human sexuality will forever intrigue me in all its glorious, weird vastness. Everything I read only makes me want to learn more.

I think it’s just time that I soak in what others have to say rather than say anything of my own. This terrifies me — that I may become irrelevant.

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I’ve Been Published

October 10th, 2015

I’m very proud to announce that you can find my writings published in hard cover and not just on my blog.

Check out the books below to find my stories.  Hopefully, this list grows as I am published more.

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