Science of Sex: Why Do Genitals Look Like That?

October 27th, 2018

In this installment of Science of Sex, we take a look at why genitals look the way they do. Surprise: it’s for reproduction. Keep reading if you want to learn a bit more, however.

Originally I was just going to focus on testicles, which are surprisingly more interesting than I had been lead to believe. However, I couldn’t help myself from going down the rabbit hole and touching on other genitals.

Note: The language in this post is cisnormative because I am focusing on reproduction alone.

science of sex - why genitals look that way

Testicles and ovaries are the two types of gonads or reproductive organs; although, the scrotum is more analogous to the labia. Both split down the middle, and the scrotum even has a “seam.”

Anyone who has seen a certain Seinfeld episode is familiar with shrinkage, which occurs when the body is cold, and the genitals retract closer to the body. It’s the cremasteric muscle that’s responsible for pulling in the testicle.

The muscle doesn’t just pull the testicles up and down. Each testicle has its own orbit, so they’ll hang unevenly. Apparently, the right testicle usually hangs higher than the left. Some suggest that this is also a defense mechanism should one testicle become harmed; the other may remain safe. But anatomist Stany Lobo suggests that testicular orbit maximizes space for each testicle, allowing it to remain cool enough.

The current theory is that testicles and the sperm inside them remain slightly cooler than the man’s body by about 3 degrees Celsius (cooler temperatures at night lead to descended scrotums, which may play into why humans so often have sex after dark), but the heat of a woman’s vagina and uterus reactivates the sperm, which are able to survive at those temperatures for the amount of time it would take to fertilize an egg (approximately 50 minutes to 4 hours). Voila!

As best as we can tell, the comparatively-large human penis is designed mostly for pleasure. A larger penis may attract and keep more mates.

The shape of the penis also aids conception. The large, contoured head acts a bit like a shovel as it thrusts into a vagina. This doesn’t necessarily benefit conception by a man’s sperm, but it does displace sperm for any previous partners a woman may have had. A larger corona and more vigorous thrusting can also increase the sperm-displacing effect.

The refractory period prevents a male from re-entering his partner and displacing his own sperm, aiding the continuation of his lineage.

The vagina and uterus are obviously shaped for penile penetration. However, the position of the organs aids reproduction in another way. Before our ancestors walking upright, the uterus tilted to aid “doggy” style sex. When our ancestors did become bipedal, the uterus tilted. One theory posits that to aid face-to-face sex, female lips became more pronounced and darkened in color (mimicking her labia) to attract a mate. I imagine those same characteristics attracted mates to female partners, especially when swollen and darkened due to arousal.

Interestingly, I have yet to come across a lot of information about the shape of the vulva. Perhaps the penis does most of the work when it comes to reproduction. And researchers have yet to come to a conclusion on whether female orgasm aids or hinders conception.

Like the foreskin protects the glans, clitoral foreskin protects the clitoral shaft (which extends deep below the surface). The labia also provide protection for the vagina, which is further protected by the hymen, stretchy tissue around the vaginal opening that can sometimes cover it.

The vagina itself balloons outward during arousal, a process known as vaginal tenting, that makes intercourse easier. The elongation of the vagina reduces penile impact against the cervix, which many women find uncomfortable or painful. No one wants to reproduce if it hurts, after all.

It’s interesting that despite all these adaptations, sex can still be so uncomfortable, especially for women. But perhaps nature’s focus on reproduction is why issues of pleasure, comfort, and connection are so often overlooked.

Further Reading

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October 2018 Media Recommendations

October 26th, 2018

October has flown by, and part of what has occupied my time is a lot of media consumption, so I have some recommendations if you want to do some learning about sex.

Reading

I just started reading Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?: And Other Reflections on Being Human because I figured I might as well take advantage of the Scribd membership that I pay for. I, and I suspect many of my readers, know why the penis is shaped why it is (or, at the very least, the current scientific theory). But the book tackles other subjects about human sexuality and is rather entertaining. I’m not very far, but I’ve learned some interesting about (cis) male bodies that sex education/health classes failed to teach. Surprise!

Listening

  • As soon as I heard the broadcast of “No” by Kaitlin Prest as part of Radiolab’s 3-part series called In the No, I knew I would at it to this list. Last year, Kaitlin produced this powerful show about rape culture, consent, and coercion. The first part is incredibly provocative, nearly leaving me breathless. I would listen with caution if you are a survivor of sexual assault. It was hard to listen to even though I have not had those experiences, and part of the show contains actual recordings. If you’re not willing to wait for the rest of the episodes on Radiolab, you can listen to them on Kaitlin’s podcast Heart. The followup episode focuses on educating offenders while the last episode analyzes why people may not be able to say “No” when they want sex as well as issues with consent within the BDSM community, which is often lauded for its consent-driven model.
  • I’ve also been listening to a lot of American Sex Podcast. The episodes on sociology, communication, and melanistic kink were all home runs for me.

Watching

This month’s visual recommendations are both on Netflix.

  • The first recommendation is Adam Ruins Everything’s sex episode, which tackles the hymen, herpes, and more. The hymen episode may be the first Adam Ruins Everything show I ran into, and Netflix has curated it along with some episodes. I’ve always found the series and host engaging, but I don’t do a lot of Youtube, so I haven’t watched much of it.
  • My second recommendation is a series called Christiane Amanpour: Sex & Love Around the World. I was not previously familiar with Christiane Amanpour, who apparently works for CNN. In this series, she travels to different countries around the world and talks to citizens about their opinions on love and sex. It starts in Japan, which I found particularly interesting because of the cultural emphasis on community. This is something a bit foreign to me as an American. I am not very far into the series but definitely find it interesting. My biggest critique is that because each location is only covered in a single episode and the topics of sex and love are so broad that it barely scratches the surface.

I’ve just finished two books that were dominating my time, so I’ll be able to catch up on the two books I started last month and finally get the reviews written (along with a few others!).

Got any recommendations? Leave ’em in the commentd!

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When Good Guys Aren’t Good Enough

October 9th, 2018

Today’s post is about guilt and fear, two vulnerable subjects that I sometimes experience in a specific way as a single person.

I am sure we’re all familiar with the process of meeting a new person. If you’re open to new romantic or sexual partners like I am, you’ll ponder a person. Then, their availability, personality, and compatibility determine whether you might move forward or not.

This thought occurs to me whenever I meet a new, single guy, and occasionally with women. Sometimes the thought is more fleeting than others, but I would be lying if I said it’s not there.

More often than not, I am not physically attracted to a person. It’s a rarity in my hometown, where attractive ratings tend to skew low. Often, I find myself considering if the positive aspects of a person’s personality are enough for me to “settle” with someone if I am not really attracted to them. I have only once found this to be the case. Although, I have sometimes waffled because someone did possess some impressive personality traits. More often than not, these people are interesting and kind. I am more than happy to be their friends. If someone else was writing this, they might accuse me of putting them in the “friend zone.”

Truthfully, I find myself calling these people “good guys.” I say this because it typically occurs with men, but I would think of a woman much the same. I enjoy their presence in my life, but I just don’t feel like we’d achieve a level of compatibility — either sexually or romantically — that would make it worth trying. When describing these people, I’d laud their positive qualities. I have recently described a new friend as a “good guy” and one who “makes people feel good about themselves.”

But even though I know the friend zone is a bullshit concept and my hackles raise when any person treats me as a vending machine that should dispense sexual or romantic attraction when anyone drops a kindness coin into a slot, I still feel guilt. It’s not guilt caused by that person, at least, not directly. It’s just a general sort of guilt that there is a very good person who I have deemed not good enough to date or fool around or sleep with. And if I am so quick to point out their positives, why am I so reluctant to give them a shot?

It’s more than that, however. The guilt is tinged with fear, the fear that this might be the last “good guy” whom I ever meet. Or the fear that a “good” person who has expressed interest might be the last person who will be interested in me. Who knows when the next person will show up? Or if I will ever be interested in someone again.

And while I know that the reality is I will keep meeting people for the rest of my life and the people who are interested in me and the people in whom I am interested might overlap in a Venn diagram that leads to exploring our sexualities or emotions (or both) together, that fear creeps in on the coattails of consideration whenever someone pops up on my radar. It only makes me feel more guilty.

I am sure I am not alone just as I am sure that some people rarely give credence to such irrational fear and guilt. Still, it’s a mantle that weighs heavy and has been difficult to remove and one that has been ever-present in 2018, a year in which I have been in this precise situation several times. At the end of the day, the fears of settling for the wrong person, misery, and mediocrity are certainly stronger than any guilt I feel over not choosing someone who is good but perhaps not good for me. But wondering thoughts still make their presence from time to time.

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Coochy Shave Cream – Island Paradise

October 3rd, 2018

I’ve been a fan of Coochy shaving products for a while. Despite the name, I use them to shave just about any part of my body that I shave.

Recently, the makers of Coochy Creme, Classic Erotica, overhauled the line. The designs are now more modern and sleek.

They also switched from pump bottles to tubes in 3 different sizes (12.5 ounces, 7.2 ounces, 3.4 ounces) and introduced new scents. The lineup includes;

  • Green Tease
  • Au Natural (fragrance-free)
  • Be Original
  • Floral Haze
  • Sweet Nectar
  • Frosted Cake

I was getting to the end of a bottle of Frosted Cake, so I decided to switch things up and try the Island Paraside scent (after much deliberation because several items on that list seem enjoyable. Of course, there’s also a scentf-free option if that’s more up your alley.

According to the description, this scent is

 Infused with juicy acai berries & sensually sweet mangosteen, you’ll discover and uncover the many wonders of this fragrance.

Sounds nice.

I actually found the scent to be overwhelming when I first used it. There was a strong citrus smell of mangosteen that was almost bitter. However, I realized it’s due to the poor airflow in my shower. Bath products often don’t get to waft in the air in a way that makes them pleasant.

I took this shaving cream with me when I spent the weekend out of town, and I realized that I really enjoyed the fruity smell in a place where the air moved a little better. Of course, it is a strong smelling product, so keep that in mind.

This doesn’t’ take away from its performance in any way. Coochy Cream makes for a slick, easy shave. The difference between cream and no cream is noticeable in comfort and closeness. It’s not so slick that it gets in the way of using my razor, an issue that I’ve experienced in the past. And the thick cream stays in place pretty well as long as it’s not directly in the stream of water.

I’ve never had any Cooch products irritate my skin, and this is the case with this new scent, and they’re moisturizing (likely due to the jojoba seed oil) enough that I rarely experience itching after I shave (although, dry skin has never really been a concern of mine). If you prefer using direct coconut oil for things like shaving, Coochy might not be up to par.

Other products seem to clog up my razor more than Coochy, too. I would make a point to rinse off your blades if you use the type of multiple blades close together, but that’s smart regardless.

All of my legitimate complaints with this tube of Coochy cream are about the packaging, honestly. SheVibe sent me Island Paraside in the 12.5-ounce container, and it is a larger tube than I am used to. Of course, I managed to drop it on only my third or so use, and the hard plastic cap broke. I suspect a smaller container would not hit the floor as hard.

The large size also means it’s not super travel-friendly; although, you might simply get a smaller travel container to put some in.

Aside from that, I do prefer my shaving cream to come with a pump and plan to transfer the contents of this tube to an old bottle of Coochy cream so I can use the pump — unfortunately, it looks like they’re just not making Coochy cream in pump bottles anymore. I find that having a pump enables me to portion out my use more consistently.

Although you’d think a larger tube of shaving cream would mean it lasts longer, I actually find myself using much more products with larger containers. And the sheer amount of product means quite a bit comes out at once.

This is not a deal-breaker, however. And one of the perks of the larger size is a better overall price.

But if you’re not sure if Coochy is for you of if you can commit to so much product, you can try out any of their scents in the 3.4-ounce tubes, including Island Paradise. I’ve also seen sample packets around.

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