Slim Vixskin Realistic Silicone Dildo by Vixen

April 9th, 2018

Slim Vixskin Realistic Silicone Dildo by Vixen
$99.99 from SheVibe

If I’m being honest, the only reason why I wanted to try the Slim Vixskin Realistic Silicone Dildo is because I want a small (or not-so-small) collection of Vixen toys. I loved my Spur (RIP) and enjoy my Tex. I haven’t added more to my collection because, honestly, that’s my favorite silicone dildo and it serves all my needs. That doesn’t mean that I don’t lust over some of the more fantastic hues nor did it stop me from requesting the Slim Realistic to review.

So what makes this different? It’s dual-density silicone with a contoured head and veinous shaft. The base is circular, good for those who want to use it with a harness or simply dislike their sex toys to include disembodied testicles. It’s also a suction cup as you can see in my photo, but it fell off my dressed as soon as I snapped the photo! LOL!

The biggest difference, however, is the length: you can insert up to 8 inches, which is great for anyone who likes deep penetration. Girthwise, the Slim Vixskin Realistic Silicone Dildo is pretty average: 1.5 inches. However, much of the shaft seems a bit more narrow than that. If you enjoy that bursting-at-the-seams sensation, then the Slim Realistic isn’t for you. Of course, “Slim” is in the name so that’s on you. 😉

This dildo has a slight curve. It’s pretty easy to miss, honestly, and I don’t really think of this is a curved dildo. It’s more like a dildo that can curve thanks to its softness. The curve doesn’t seek out my G-spot, for example.

The real question, however, is whether the dildo is too long and narrow and soft to be functional. I’m happy to report that it’s not exactly floppy, but having used it vaginally with a few inches sticking out, I found myself grasping the dildo around the shaft rather than at the base so that I could more easily control it. I would say that if you’re looking for an easily controlled dildo and don’t need the length, then you might be better offer with another VixSkin dildo that is more easily maneuvered. It just feels a bit bulky and awkward in use. I could have sworn that I’ve seen a few similar reviews noting this, but now they elude me.

Regardless, while you can thrust with this dildo, it might not make the best G-spotter if you need it intense and fast.

Texture is an interesting thing when it comes to dildos. It’s much easier to feel on rigid materials like glass. I often don’t feel it at all when it comes to softer materials, especially not dual-density silicone. But there’s something different about the Slim Vixskin Realistic Silicone Dildo. Although the veins on it don’t look pronounced, I can feel them vaginally more than I was expecting too. I count this as a win.

Texture on the Slim Realistic Dildo by Vixen

Texture on the Slim Realistic Dildo

Interestingly, I don’t think that the head of this is really pronounced enough for me to feel it. A much larger corona or a thicker shaft overall would probably make the shape more impactful.

At the end of the day, I feel torn about the Slim Vixskin Realistic Silicone Dildo. It’s got the wonderful squishiness that I love about VixSkin dildos but because of the extra length, it feels cumbersome. The texture is wonderfully surprising, but the head is underwhelming. And the curve doesn’t add much to the sensation, so it’s almost a moot point.

However, the Slim Realistic Silicone Dildo by Vixen might be a great option for someone who wants a longer-but-slimmer dildo to use for strap-on play, especially anal stimulation. And the longer design gives you extra leeway for rounded booties or positions that require a little more length. For these specific purposes, I would recommend Slim Vixskin Realistic Silicone Dildo, which you can get at SheVibe for just under $100. Still, if you want to try VixSkin or you’re looking for a more multipurpose dildo or one that’s more filling, I might recommend the Mustang (7.5 inches insertable) or Tex (5 inches insertable), instead.

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Categories: Reviews

Science of Sex: How Sex Research Is Done

March 31st, 2018

A few months ago, I took a look at some of the awesome women who are researching (and writing about sex). Now, I want to touch on just how that research is done. Someone somewhere is taking the time to study people in a lab as they watch porn or have sex or to hand out questionnaires to anyone who is willing to check a few boxes (or click a few links).

Thus, this week's Science of Sex post is all about how that research is performed.

Remember, if you like this post, I update Science of Sex every second-ish Saturday of the month!

In the beginning, there was Kinsey, who was asking people ostensibly invasive questions about their sex lives. Kinsey was not the first to do so, but he was among the first to really attract attention for his work. Kinsey didn't just interview subjects, however. Kinsey had filmed homosexual prostitutes ejaculating in the attic of his own home for one study. He also invited 30 couples into his home to masturbated and have sex while being recorded. Kinsey has since been described as a voyeur and even some of his contemporaries were wary of the way he went about his studies and whether his interest was purely scientific. It's difficult to imagine such impropriety when it comes to modern sex research. But there was no example for Kinsey to follow in the 1940s. He was making up — and breaking — the rules as he went along.

Surveying and interviewing continues to be a popular mode of sex research. The Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana Bloomington still uses it. The 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior also utilized random dialing and physical mailers to connect with possible respondents while a more recent survey by the university has been posted online.  

The Internet presents an opportunity to easily collect information en masse and with identity protection (when that's desired). It's a hell of a lot easier to reach thousands or millions of people by posting surveys online rather than a physical bulletin board. You can find a list of surveys and studies that you might be eligible to participate in on Dr. Lehmiller's site. I've shared similar links with my readers, positive that y'all would be as excited to be part of history as I am.

One of the downfalls of self-reporting (whether it's done in person or over the Internet) is whether a respondent is being honest, both to themselves and to the survey. Furthermore, the way that questions are worded can leave a lot of room for ambiguity. Surveys presented by reputable institutions — I'm looking at you Bloomington — are often quite thoughtful in this regard. I imagine that the more ambiguity, the more likely some survey responses will have to be thrown out.

Despite the pitfalls of relying on someone's self-reporting, it's important to understand how a person feels, especially when it comes to arousal. Thanks to studies that have compared women's' reported arousal to their physical arousal, we have a much better understanding of the arousal discordance that is more commonly found in women than with men.

Researchers will connect subjects to devices that measure

  • pupil dilation, which can be an indication of arousal
  • heart rate can be measured with an electrocardiograph (EKG) like Masters and Johnson used
  • erection via penile strain gauges that measure the circumference of the shaft
  • vaginal pulse with the help of a probe known as a vaginal photoplethysmograph 
  • genital thermometers
  • brain activity with the aid of fMRIs that scan for real-time changes or an electroencephalograph (EEG) that measures electricity
  • skin conductance, which occurs when patients sweat during arousal and stimulation. Electrodes are the old standby for this method
  • penis volume through the use of a cuff filled with air (or water) that would become displaced as a subject became erect
  • penile rigidity with a device that attaches to the base of the shaft and just below the head of the penis

Often, researchers hook up patients to these devices and show them sexually explicit images or videos. Yes, buying porn might be on the docket if you're a sex researcher. Patients might be advised to masturbate or engage in sexual activity with a partner.

Sometimes, if you want to know more about sex, you just have to do it yourself. That's what author Mary Roach did when she was writing "Bonk." She volunteered herself — and her husband Ed — as subjects of a 4D ultrasound. The author and her husband engaged in sex while a researcher passed an ultrasound wand over their bodies, briefly resting his arm against her Ed's body. The pair would hold still momentarily to achieve still images, and the scientist instructed Ed to ejaculate.

Mary Roach and her husband may be lucky — or unlucky if you prefer — to be alive. Researchers have used cadavers for some studies, especially those regarding the G-spot. 

Several of these cadaver studies have been critiqued for being too small a sample size. That argument has also been made against other sex studies, which may only involve a handful of subjects. The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior is among the largest ever, recording responses from nearly 6,000 people. 

Few of these studies have been replicated, so it's important to remember that the results give us a glimpse but not the whole picture.

One interesting factor is how the language used in these studies has changed. Whereas it once was more clinical and heteronormative, language has become depathologized. It's more common to see "man" or "woman" in place of "male" or "female." The same goes for sexual orientations and subjects. Interestingly, the concept of consent is more frequently referenced in modern sex research. Mentions of HIV is on the rise (and AIDS decreasing), as it the term MSM, which stands for men who have sex with men.

Further Reading

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Categories: Science of Sex

Sex Outside the Lines

March 15th, 2018

Sex Outside The Lines
24.95 from GoodVibes

I first heard of  Chris Donaghue and his book Sex Outside The Lines via the Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast. It’s been quite a while since I listened to that particular episode, but it piqued my interest. In it,  Donaghue, a therapist who helps clients overcome their issues with sex, makes the argument that cultural views of sex shame healthy sex and lead to dysfunctional sex lives.

In Sex Outside the Lines,  Donaghue expands on this argument with examples from his clients as well as supporting arguments from other professionals (therapists, doctors, and the like).

I was fully prepared to enjoy this book. The idea that the cultural view of sex is misguided and narrow is one that I can totally get with. It leads to the shaming of all sorts, marginalization of people who have nonstandard sexual orientations, relationship dynamics, and kinks, and internalized until very few people are living an “authentic sexuality.” How can you go wrong with a book that expands on this?

For starters, it’s not entirely clear who Sex Outside the Lines is for.  I suppose the subtitle, “Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture,” made me feel like it was written for someone who wanted to discover their own authentic sexuality. But the book does not read as accessible to the average reader. As someone who writes and reads about sex, I found it a bit alienating. Donaghue uses hyphen-laden adjectives that he clearly relies upon in his practice, but they’re wordy and not standard at all. This is one reason why Sex Outside the Lines might be better for professionals than consumers.

If I continue, the tone of this book is also repellant in other ways. The author sometimes sounds pretentious and opinionated in a way that’s hard to swallow… and I generally agree with him. I cannot imagine that anyone who is on the fence about whether society has a dysfunctional view of sex would pick up this book and be swayed, let alone someone who is actively in the other camp.

I have a physical copy, so it’s unfortunate that I don’t have a digital reference at my side. There were a number of points where Donaghue had written something that I would have highlighted on my Kindle. Many of these instances were him describing the way society/partners/sex therapists disregard a person’s natural sexual proclivities as abusive. This terminology seems extreme to me.

Furthermore, he makes the argument in several places that any kink is valid and should always be fully lived. I think it can be assumed that Donaghue means when it’s safe, legal and consensual, but he doesn’t explicitly state as such.

He also ignores the fact that compromises must be made within relationships. While I believe that people ignore sexual compatibility all too often and it can lead to disastrous results, I am not sure that I buy that this is always the most important type of compatibility or that sex is a cure-all for any relationship ailment. If someone was looking for a reason to be sexually entitled and selfish, then reading Sex Outside the Lines without further guidance might encourage unhealthy behavior.

Donaghue’s sex-positive push is so forceful that is can feel like asexual erasure, despite him mentioning asexuality when he discusses the way that society discounts people who are not straight. And straight people who do identify as monogamous and marriage-minded might feel attacked by the book.

I also found that it was difficult to follow the overarching themes of each chapter and the segues between the sections therein. When you look at the table of contents, you see that the second chapter is all about why people fear sex, for example. But when you’re reading that chapter, it’s too easy to forget. This is exacerbated by some repetition of the content.

Finally, Donaghue often quotes others, but the references feel abrupt because he simply inserts the quote and reference without really explaining the context of those original quotes. I am not sure that the sources are actually making the same arguments that he is. I would much rather have brief introduction to the study/book/report and firmer explanation of how it ties into whatever argument the author is trying to make in that paragraph.

This all comes as a disappointment because Donaghue came off as likable and reasonable in the podcast that first introduced me to him. He speaks as someone who appears to be an effective therapist, but something is lost in translation when it comes to print.

While I agree with the general theme of Sex Outside the Lines, the book leaves a bit to be desired and an unusual taste in my mouth. I am not sure what it accomplishes or who I would recommend it to, and it’s not because I think within the lines sexually. Perhaps Donaghue is just not the person who should be writing this thesis.

3 Comments

Categories: Books, Reviews

Science of Sex: Habituation of Sexual Arousal (The Coolidge Effect)

February 24th, 2018

Welcome to the Science of Sex, a feature I've managed to publish on Of Sex and Love for a whole year (albeit not necessarily when I promise to). In this monthly segment, I discuss the science of sexuality in an easy-to-digest format that’s accessible to the casual reader. I will also follow up with some extended reading material for people who want to know more about the subject of each post.

Today's post explains why it's harder to feel aroused by your partner after you've been together for a long period.

Check back every second Saturday of the month (ish) for new Science of Sex posts.

Enjoy!

The so-called Coolidge Effect is a biological occurrence wherein a member of a certain species will experience renewed sexual vigor when a new potential mate enters the picture. In short, even an exhausted male will suddenly be ready to mate if a new female enters.

The Coolidge Effect is apparently named after president Coolidge, who'd had a discussion with his wife about a Rooster's prowess upon visiting a farm. When FLOTUS inquired into the rooster's sexual ability, POTUS apparently remarked upon the number of hens available.

Research indicates that several species experience the Coolidge Effect.  It can also occur in females, but the effect is heightened with males of a species. It may take longer for habituation to effect a woman's sexual respond than a man's. The research is currently conflicting.

Humans are definitely not immune to this, and it doesn't just apply to sexual activity. The Coolidge Effect explains why arousal increases when new stimuli (women) enter the picture. One study examined men's' arousal when exposes to the same stimulus as compared to arousal levels when the men experience more various stimuli.

Similarly, men who repeatedly view porn of the same actress will experience faster ejaculation, and the sperm contained in the ejaculate may actually be healthier!

The term for getting used to the same sexual stimulus is known as habituation, and it's exactly why people grow to need novelty in long-term sexual relationships. It strikes me that the Coolidge Effect can even explain why someone who has new sexual partners, consensually or otherwise, might experience renewed desire for their original partner.

Habituation of sexual arousal is worth looking into deeper. Researchers have found that while genital response will decrease to repeating the same stimulus, people can still subjectively feel aroused. Scientists were especially surprised to learn that this happens in men because men often feel mentally and genitally aroused simultaneously than women (concordance).

The proposed explanation for the Coolidge Effect is the same for many sexual theories. A male of the species will be able to produce more offspring if his desire can be triggered by multiple partners and quickly after new potential partners become available.

What does all this mean? If you've had sex with the same person for quite some time, especially if it's the same sort of sex, arousal might dip. Enter a new, attractive person, and you'll find yourself desiring sex again. Keeping things novel is one way to ward off the Coolidge Effect and minimize habituation, but it doesn't mean that something's inherently wrong with your relationship.  

Habituation may not be permanent, either. In at least one study, men found that desire again increased after a period of time.

Further Reading

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Categories: Science of Sex

lingerie

MysteryVibe Crescendo

February 14th, 2018

MysteryVibe Crescendo
$179 from MysteryVibe

Mystery Vibe made a pretty big to-do about their customizable, smart vibrator called the Crescendo last year. “It has 6 motors!” they said. “You’ve never used anything like it,” they claimed (more or less). They sent me one to try, and I took my sweet time getting around to writing this review. You’ll see why after I introduce you to this beast.

Similar to the gKi, you can bend the Crescendo at various joints to take on whatever shape your heart vagina desires (you can fold it nearly in half or bend each end in either direction to create an S-shape). Ostensibly, the two triangular flaps near the base can provide clitoral stimulation while you can create a hook for simultaneous G-spot/internal stim. It’s a two-hand job because the joints are stiff enough to stay in place, but not difficult (don’t count on ever getting it perfectly straight once you bend it, however). This is not something I have a problem with.

The truth is, I don’t want to use an app with any sex toy, partially because my devices invariably are crawling with bacteria that could lead to a nasty infection should I forget and reach down with my phone hand to operate a toy. Partially because I have small hands and using my devices single-handedly is a struggle. Partially because the more attention my eyes pay to a screen, the less my vagina, clit and various other erogenous zones pay attention to what’s going on there.

And the MysteryVibe app? Is not intuitive. It tries to be with gestures, but basic settings wind up hidden behind icons that just aren’t user-friendly. Sure, you can use it, but you really need to get used to it first.

Let’s not forget the logistics. Pairing devices that are buried within orifices to your phone? Not always an easy task. It was ridiculous with the kGoal, and while the Crescendo works much, much better, it just seems like the industry is trying to make using toys more difficult than it really needs to be. The only exception I’m willing to admit to is feedback (as in with kegel toys), but there’s no need for that with the Crescendo.

Speaking of logistics; have you ever had to wait over 30 minutes for your vibrator’s firmware to update? No? Keep it that way! Crescendo uses wireless transfer to update the device’s firmware, despite the fact that literally every device I’ve ever had to update urges you to do it wired because you can brick your device if the wireless update fails.

MysteryVibe support says this shouldn’t be an issue (and that it shouldn’t take nearly as long as it’s taken mine);

The Crescendo firmware file is quite a large one and the file transfer takes around 15 minutes. If there are any interruptions during this time, such as a phone call, Bluetooth interference, it could show an error. In this case, simply tap on the circle again to restart the update and it should work perfectly.
After my update remained stalled at 81%, I canceled and started again. It appeared that Crescendo had disconnected from the app, but I received no error. The only advice I can offer is that you can safely abort and try again if your update does something similar.

I think the argument for all this hassle is “but personalization!” Or maybe “Adriana, you can create your own one-of-a-kind vibration setting.” To which I laugh because I’ve already proven that I am a lazy SOB when it comes to masturbatory preparation and, secondly because anyone who’s been around this blog a time or two realizes that I couldn’t care less about modes. Seriously. My highest praise for pulsation, escalation or what-have-you is usually along the lines of “Well, it doesn’t suck.”

So that brings us to controlling the Crescendo via the app. Note that you don’t have to. You can just use the buttons on the toy; although, they’re more flush than I prefer because they’re embossed into the silicone, which makes them a little difficult to find and use when your hands are covered with lube. They can also get bunched up if you bend the Crescendo at the joint right near the buttons, which are located in two locations along the side (one set turns it on/up and off/down while the other cycles through modes).

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For once, I want some big, clicky buttons with tactile feedback like a mechanical keyboard. I want my fumbling fingers and long nails to have plenty of space. Enough with the tiny, “cute” buttons, people!

If you choose to use the app, it provides you with a visual that better helps you understand which motors are operating and what they’re doing. You can edit the base vibrations or download new settings from the “store”; although, it appears the Crescendo can only hold so many. I find the whole process of downloading and deleting settings from my sex toy to be a bit tedious myself. However, it’s interesting that you can rearrange the order of the settings on your Crescendo. My immediate thought after finding the settings that seemed like they’d be the most useful was that I was going to save them and never use the app again.

I’m pretty much saying that a toy has to be amazing if it’s going to require an app. So is the Crescendo? No. It seems pretty run of the mill. Because you’re supposed to customize the shape to your preferences, it’s rather flat and narrow, underwhelming, really. The internal vibrators that work well for me clitorally definitely have a rounded tip, which this does not. Unfurled, it looks a bit like a finger with the joints visible on the underside. Bent into position it looks perhaps a bit medicinal.

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In terms of power, you’d expect something pretty impressive from the Crescendo. After all, it has six motors. But those six motors are each a little lackluster, too, providing less of a symphony and more of a forgettable background noise. This review is about six words away from comparing the underpowered motors to Kidz Bop versions of pop songs. Is it terrible? No. It is what I want from a vibrator? Also no.

And believe me I tried. My first attempt was to turn on all the motors as high as they can go. I mean, isn’t that what us reviewers do with every vibrating toy we receive? Take it out of the package, charge it up and see how far this puppy goes? Crescendo doesn’t for up to 11, that’s for sure.

It’s not that it’s exactly weak. It just falls on the buzzier side of things, and I, like so many, prefer a deep and rumbly vibration that penetrates. The buzziness is definitely more perceptible on certain modes, and certainly more noticeable when you turn up the power. Ironically, the site describes the vibrations are deep and rumbly and whisper quiet. Surprise! Neither is exactly true.

I do enjoy that there’s a sort of throbbing pulsation. The sheer variety of vibrating modes the Crescendo offers means it’s probably go something for most people if the power output works for you.

The charger could also use some work. You plug a standard microUSB  (I’ve only used one other vibrator that relies on this standard connection) charger into a little disc that the Crescendo rests on to charge. But the lightweight disc has a bevel along the bottom and only the end of the toy rests on it, which causes the disc to tilt and the toy to want to slide off. It takes a bit to find the sweet spot because the vibrator doesn’t sit securely in the base (like some of Minna or Jimmyjane’s smaller toys), just rests atop it. Again, the user has to work around the toy rather than the toy fitting nicely into their life.

It’s hard to say what might be a better design. I don’t need a charging base. If the toy has to rest on a table, then the USB cable might as well plug directly into it (companies have done it and kept their toys 100% waterproof in the past and if they could make it a data+charging cable, firmware updates wouldn’t take over 30 minutes to complete!). If they want to do inductive charging, then perhaps provide a case that also works for travel like the one that used to come with the Delight.

The truth is, Crescendo isn’t a terrible vibrator. It’s just another mediocre sex toy that seems like a much bigger letdown because the marketing led us to believe it would change our worlds. But as long as “change your world” translates to “you have to adapt to the toy,” it’s not smart. I want my sex toys to adapt to me, not the other way around.

The Crescendo is on sale for Valentine’s Day if you’re interested in buying it.

4 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Science of Sex: Physiology of Orgasm

January 20th, 2018

Welcome to the eleventh! installment in a feature on Of Sex and Love: Science of Sex. In this monthly segment, I discuss the science of sexuality in an easy-to-digest format that’s accessible to the casual reader. I will also follow up with some extended reading material for people who want to know more about the subject of each post.

It’s hard to follow up last month’s Science of Sex post, in which I lauded over a dozen women who have worked to study sex and educate the world about sexuality, But the second Saturday of this month has already passed. I had better get on it!

So I thought I’d discuss some of the physiological changes that occur during and after orgasm, changes that researchers have used to determine whether orgasm has occurred and help to explain some of the benefits of orgasm from sex or masturbation. This will more or less be a list of the changes in the body and brain due to orgasm.

Enjoy!

Physiology of Orgasm

Much of the research into orgasm and physiological changes has focused on women, perhaps because ejaculation makes it easier to determine when a man has had an orgasm. Researchers compare measurements with self-reports of orgasm.

Traditionally, heart rate has been measured to determine if orgasm has occurred, and both vaginal and clitoral orgasms increase heart rate. More intense orgasms may lead to greater increases in heart rate.

Although many of these studies focus on women, few of them have involves fMRIs. One study did look at the female brain during orgasm, finding that activity increased in several areas: sensory, motor, reward, frontal cortical, and brainstem regions. Another test found that men experience increased blood flow in several brain areas after orgasm: the visual cortex, ventral tegmental area (VTA), and ventrolateral thalamus. Blood flow decreased to the prefrontal cortex, however. In patients with epilepsy, the temporal lobe becomes essential for achieving orgasm.

EEGs have previously been used to look at brain activity during orgasm. In one study, participants masturbated to orgasm, and EEG results showed changes in brain laterality. Typically, activity increased significantly in the right hemisphere with smaller increases in the left hemisphere. Interestingly, one left-handed participant exhibited the opposite change in laterality.

Contraction of the PC muscles is another method of determining orgasm, and research has found that rectal pressure is a reliable indicator of orgasm in healthy women. Anal contractions also indicate orgasm in men.

Various chemicals and hormones increase after orgasm. Catecholamines, which include epinephrine, (adrenaline) norepinephrine, and dopamine increase in the body. Prolactin, the protein that helps female mammals breastfeed, increases because of orgasm, even in men. This may help regular sex drive after orgasm.

Men who experienced orgasm after a period of orgasmic inactivity may see an increase in testosterone in their systems after resuming masturbation.

Researchers have found that endocannabinoid levels, specifically endocannabinoid 2-AG, increase in both men and women after orgasm. You may be more familiar with endocannabinoids as they relate to marijuana. Because pot contains a chemical similar to endocannabinoid, THC, it activates the endocannabinoid system. Endocannabinoids help to regulate mood, sleep, pain, and pleasure/rewards, among other functions. Increased endocannabinoids 2-AG after orgasm may help to explain boost to mood, improved sleep and decreased pain perception.

Finally, orgasm can produce behaviors and experiences that you wouldn’t typically consider to be related to sexuality, several of which I have experienced myself. One study combined the phenomena from various case studies, cataloging the following phenomena;

cataplexy (weakness), crying, dysorgasmia, dysphoria, facial and/or ear pain, foot pain, headache, pruritus [itching of the skin], laughter, panic attack, post-orgasm illness syndrome, seizures, and sneezing.

With the profound effect that orgasm has on a person’s physiology, the vast array of effects aren’t really so surprising.

Further Reading

Comment

Categories: Science of Sex

Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

What I Wrote in 2017: Sex Ed, BDSM Guides, Relationship Advice + More

January 12th, 2018

Although I might have been uncharacteristically quiet on Of Sex and Love last year (I sometimes managed only to post a monthly Science of Sex post and certainly didn’t write enough reviews to post a best or worst of list!), I have not been quiet elsewhere.

Last year I continued to write for two other venues: Bad Girls Bible and Cirilla’s. I write dozens of pieces between the two of those, not to mention other clients (interested in someone writing for your own sex blog or sex toy store? You can hire me!).

The result includes some articles that I am pretty proud of. I’ve curated a list of posts that I think are especially helpful, well written or otherwise worth sharing.

For  Cirilla’s

I discussed 12 Things Porn Gets Wrong, which probably isn’t news to many of my readers, but many of these stereotypes are still perpetuated.

I also wrote about the Ways That Sex Changes In Your 30s, some of which are surprisingly awesome!

You can also check out my post called Why You Should Care About Sex Toy Materials. Again, this is old-hat stuff for some, but a reminder is always welcome. One thing I wanted to delve into but didn’t have the opportunity to do so is how green our sex toys are and where materials are sourced from.

Finally, I tackled 12 Sex Myths About Sex That Aren’t True. There are a lot of ideas that we believe to be true. But when you seek out accurate sex education that is also sex-positive, you quickly find that these ideas aren’t self-evident at all: they’re unhealthy and potentially harmful.

For Bad Girl’s Bible

http://badgirlsbible.com/virginity

I was glad to be able to break down the concept of virginity, which serves very little — if any — purpose, in this post.

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/dom-sub-relationship

I’ve been able to write more about BDSM, bondage and D/s lately, and I enjoy educating people on how these things can be sexy and healthy.

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/best-sex-positions-for-female-orgasm

You’d think that I’ve been around the block enough to have tried — or at least known about — all the positions that facilitate orgasm. Then again, you’d be wrong.

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/bdsm-aftercare

Another element of safety in BDSM is aftercare, which I outlined in this post.

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/hymen

Writing about the hymen is similar to writing about virginity. Our current sex ed teaches us a lot of the wrong stuff, and this so-called knowledge can damage us in all sorts of ways.

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/5-love-languages

You don’t have to believe in the 5 love languages to appreciate how being more thoughtful about the way you show love to your partner can benefit your relationship.

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/bdsm-rules

Another post regarding the risk and safety involved in BDSM activities. Can there be too many?

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/what-is-intimacy

A small detour into the romantic and relationship side of things.

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/why-do-men-watch-porn

There are so many negative views on porn, and the idea that men (people) in relationships shouldn’t enjoy it is definitely one of them. It’s all bogus, of course.

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/breast-bondage

I quite enjoyed researching different styles of harnesses and rope bondage for this post. In fact, I wasn’t really a rope fan before writing it, but that has perhaps changed.

 

http://badgirlsbible.com/sensual-domination

I am not personally one for more sensual styles of BDSM, but many people are. I hope this post encourages them to find their perfect flavor.

 

It’s no wonder that so many of my favorite pieces from last year were those that busted through stereotypes and myths surrounding sexuality.

Here’s to whatever 2018 brings!

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