Author: Adriana

Categories
Site

Excuses

I know it’s been over a week, guys. I know I usually blog more often. I really want to. I’m just so.freaking.exhausted.

2015 — and it’s like a quarter done already! — has been so busy. I’m not sure with what, but I feel like I never really get a chance to just sit down and breath. I’m not getting enough sleep and I’m still dealing with my broken heart on top of it.

I don’t mean to sound negative. For the most part, it’s been a ton of fun. I’ve been in high demand, and that makes me feel great. But as much as I intended to post a review before I went to sleep, I think I’m going to lie down on my couch and watch Friends and probably fall asleep.

 

Categories
BDSM

UberKinky Rounded Handle Leather Flogger

Rounded Handle Leather Flogger
£39.99 from UberKinky

I think much of this is due to the hefty stainless steel handle. It creates a balance and allows you to direct your aim with ease. It’s actually much shorter than the falls on the flogger — about 7.5 inches from tip to the edge of the braiding. This fits very well in my fist. It might feel a little cramped if you have especially large hands, but i doubt it. I actually prefer the shorter handle to some of the other floggers I have.

The handle isn’t perfect, however. There’s a smoothed down but visible seam along with some indentations that I assume are from the manufacturing process. It doesn’t impact use, however, like it might if it were a stainless steel toy.

Because of the weight, it doesn’t feel like a “play thing” like those ridiculous little feather ticklers that would better be marketed as toys for cats than kinksters. The functional yet attractive design would fit in with any experienced kinkster’s collection. It’s on another level from most of the floggers I’ve already tried.

There’s a leather wrist loop securely attached and the end of the handle is bulbous, which makes it easy to grasp and difficult to slip from your fingers. You can also use this for storage.

The falls are longer than most of my floggers — between 22″ and 23″. They’re cut at an angle, and not exactly the same length, so it doesn’t look blunt. Each fall consists of a leather “Exterior” and a red, suede interior. It’s a nice, deep red that my flash and indoor light does a poor job of showing. The appearance is gorgeous, but the smell of that leather? Divine!

The falls are secured under a braided band. There’s no visible hardware, but I have no doubt of the quality. There isn’t any fraying or separating of the layers in the tails.

Because it’s made from calf suede, it’s obviously not the choice if you’re a vegan, but I love leather and meat too much to be. The tails fall heavily, with a satisfying  chorus of “thwaps.”  The dual layers are thicker than, say, the Crystal Whip. Although it was bent in the package, the falls have no kink in them, which is an issue I’ve experienced with cheaper floggers.

It also provides more intense sensations than some of those beginner’s floggers. You can use it more lightly, of course, but it doesn’t take much effort for a more stinging sensation because of the weight of the leather. There is a chance that this isn’t the best toy for you if you have arthritis or other hand, wrist or arm ailments.

I would recommend UberKinky’s Beginner’s Guide to Flogging to see if you might want to try flogging and to see how to get used to floggers. Per their guidance that your first flogger shouldn’t be heavy or have longer tails, you might want to opt for a smaller flogger to see whether you and your partner enjoys the sensation.

I haven’t been able to spend as much time with the UberKinky Rounded Handle Leather Flogger as I would like. In particular, I am looking forward to feeling the heavy falls against my flesh and the cold of the stainless steel touching my skin.

 

Categories
Stories

Virgin

He was a virgin. That was something I’d sworn I would never do. It felt so sex negative, judging someone based on their virginity. After all, it was a social construct that really meant very little. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to deal with the responsibility of being someone’s first let alone the awkwardness and having to be patient with someone learning.

Okay, I admit it: I’m selfish. But I’m okay with that, and I’m fine using that as my excuse not to sleep with virgins. So how exactly did we get on the topic of this virgin?

Now, I didn’t know he was a virgin at first. He was a reasonably good-looking guy I scrolled past on one of the many dating sites I frequent. And by frequent, I don’t mean that I troll them for NSA encounters. I’m not opposed to them, but if that’s the kind of mood I’m in, it’s Tinder for me.

So I see this guy who isn’t totally offensive to my eyes and whose profile has better spelling than a middle schooler. I flick through his photos and see a couple of tattoos and decide that asking about his ink will be my ice-breaker.

Flash forward a few weeks and daily messages. The conversation is fun, and I think I might actually want to meet him, and I never would have gotten this far if he had advertised his virginity. It wasn’t something he wanted to brag about, and I understand why. People like me would have looked right past him.

But I did look at him and the idea that maybe I want to meet him has crossed my mind a time or two when I sign in one night to see a picture of his newest tattoo, an intricate tribal-inspired sleeve that shoots right down his perfectly-sculpted bicep, flows across his arm and ends right below his fingers. I may be a sucker for ink, but his artist definitely had skill, and the design was done well even if it wasn’t something I would have chosen for myself.

So I express my admiration for this new tattoo while wondering what exactly that arm might look like with his fingers buried in my cunt, and he takes me by surprise by offering to show me in person. It was certainly an offer I couldn’t resist.

A few nights later and we’ve sitting across from one another at my favorite dive bar. It’s a quiet night, with a few rough-around-the-edges trucker types and a pair of barely-legal patrons who are taking turns picking top 40 hits on the jukebox.

I’m surprised I took note at all, to be honest. This guy, the virgin, was even better looking in person. His hair was artfully tousled, and he wore a pair of glasses he’d neglected to post photos of. That was quite all right with me, however; I’m a sucker for a guy in a nice pair of specs.

We do the awkward introduction thing, but the ink conversation gives us a good excuse to talk about something, anything, other than the weather. But it doesn’t feel forced like all those terrible first dates I’d been on in the past. He seems genuinely interested me, smiles often and teases me the way guys do when they’re attracted to you. I can tell I’m blushing. I can’t help it, but I’m not sure I want to, either.

We sip a few drinks, volley questions back and forth and make commentary about the other customers. He, as it turns out, likes little dives like this, too. I nod approvingly as one of my favorite Bad Company songs comes on the speaker, and my head begins bobbing to the music.

He surprises me with a completely casual comment about how he’d always wanted to have sex to the song. I’m pretty sure my ovaries are singing his praises, and that’s when he says it.

“But I’m a virgin.”

I try to pass it off that this sexy, flirtatious guy with ultra-hot tattoos has somehow avoided having sex. I’m sure my lack of a poker face did me no favors, but I tried to hide it by taking a long drink from my glass.

He’s obviously accustomed to negative reactions, and he rolls with it, segueing into a question about my own tattoos, which we have somehow failed to remark upon. I show him the symbol of my favorite singer on my forearm, and a spiderweb lace piece on my shoulder while talking about my plan for a black-and-white sleeve on the other arm.

I mention the sugar skull on my left thigh, regretting that I’d worn jeans so he won’t be able to see it, but he doesn’t miss a bit as he grins mischievously and asks if I want to drop trou in the bathroom to show him. It’s so hard to believe he’s a virgin.

While I certainly would have declined that invitation had it come from a stranger at the bar, it didn’t seem quite so odd coming out of his mouth, and his charm was irresistible. I downed my drink and we made our way to the bathroom, trying not to be obvious in a bar with only a handful of customers.

There’s a strange sort of anxiety I feel about virgins, and it certainly reared its head as I wiggled out of my jeans. I wonder if this was the first time he’d seen a woman undress in any way, or if he’d perhaps had heated make out sessions with a former fling that just never lead anywhere.

Under the unflattering bathroom light, my tattoo comes into view, and he seems to take it all in while the last few notes of the sexy song faded away through the door behind me. I take a moment to myself, trying to quietly exhale while his inquisitive eyes were on me.

But then they are back on my face, and I am reaching to pull my jeans up from around my knees. This wasn’t part of his plan, it seems, as he steps forward, pressing my back against the door and leaning down to kiss me fiercely. It’s unbelievable, the type of chemistry I am feeling with this, this, virgin.

It was like electricity courses through his mouth, straight to my lips, jolting across my tongue and igniting throughout my body. If I’ve ever considered breaking my virgin rule, this was the best reason I’d yet had. And if he were to bend me over that grimy bar bathroom sink, I would have my legs and braced my ankles while greedily taking every inch of his cock.

He doesn’t. I knew he wouldn’t, so why is it that his hands have pushed my jeans further down my calves? Why would he carefully lift one foot out of the leg of my pants? And why is he leaving the other entrapped? The swirling has barely stopped from our kiss. Now, my head is swirling with other thoughts.

I don’t know if everyone else experiences it this way, but when someone’s mouth and tongue first make contact with my clit, it’s like a switch flips. There are no more thoughts. It’s feeling, it’s energy, it’s adrenaline and it’s noises that can barely be qualified as human, but it’s not about thinking.

So when he pulls aside my panties and pushes his tongue between my folds against my clit, I’m not relieved that I had worn underwear worthy of showing someone else. I’m not thinking that we’re in a dingy bar or that the bartender, a friend who willy surely give me hell later, has likely noticed our extended absence.

What I do is sigh, my chest heaving with the effort, gasp and allow him to lift my free leg over his shoulder. I lean back to support myself, ruffle my hand through his hair, and let this near-stranger swirl his tongue around my clit and lap at my body with wide, soft licks that cause my legs to quiver.

I bite my lip to stop myself from moaning loud enough that anyone in a two-block radius could hear me, and I push my hips toward my new friend as he adeptly slides three fingers into me, my most sensitive parts surrounded by my body. His tattooed arm, just like I had imagined it, stretches out between my legs.

His mouth and his hand work in tandem, as my body threatens to give out beneath me. For a brief moment, an image flashes in my mind of the bathroom door breaking behind me and us tumbling out, me with only one leg in my jeans and him with his hand up my cunt.

But his eager attentiveness to my needs quickly snaps me back to the present, and I press his face against my body with renewed vigor. As best as I can, I grind my cunt against his face, glasses be damned.

Now, I may be lucky that I can cum easily, but there’s denying that this guy is damned good at what he was doing. It’s one of those moments that feels like it both takes a lifetime and is over in a heartbeat, but I’m sure it’s no more than a few minutes before I am cumming — shuddering and nearly collapsing against him as only the muscles in my pussy seem able of working correctly for that brief moment.

And then he is done, sliding the fabric of my panties back across my vulva, lifting my jeans back up to my hips and buttoning them as he leans into me for another fiery kiss, the taste of me still on his mouth. I can feel him, his hardness and heat, as he presses his body against me.

Sure, he might have been a virgin, but he won’t be one for long.

Categories
Dating The Bartender

All The Things You’ve Given Me

In 2015, I am in the middle of a heartbreak. I know it will not last forever. I know that it may not be my greatest to date. And it may not be the greatest I’ll ever experience. That knowledge offers solace in its own way.

But now is not the time for solace. Now is the time to be grateful and to achieve that, I have been musing over all the things that the bartender has given me throughout our long and tumultuous triste. And I can think of no better way to do this than by saying “thank you.”

Thank you for surprising me. I am no psychic. I cannot see the future, and sometimes I assume that my inability to do so means that nothing good will ever happen. You proved me wrong. You proved that good times and amazing memories and even love, the type of loves that pushes you to the ground and knocks the breath out of you and leaves your vision in swirls, can come from unexpected places when you least expect it. It gives me hope that the future truly is better than I can imagine and that something good might just be around the corner.

And you are just the latest in a parade of people, flirtationships, partners, almost lovers and more, who have give me perhaps more than I deserve.

To the first one after my divorce — so many years after my divorce. Thank you for being comfortable, for being a kind person with whom to experience such a terrifying experience anew. You gave me the confidence and the assurance that it wasn’t so terrifying to be with someone else. You made me feel desirable.

Thank you you for liking me as much as you did. I needed that. I am sorry that I couldn’t provide the same for you in return. I hope you will have fond memories anyway.

Where would I be without the hot geek, the guy who felt like he would be my one who got away for years? Despite the fact that I know this is no longer the case, I wouldn’t be even a fraction of who I am without his accidental assistance.

Thank you, then, to him who taught me I am a nice person. I had never dared consider that about myself before him. Thank you for flirting and laughter and cuddles and the best kisses of my adult life. Thank you for allowing me to (re)discover my geekery. Thanks for being humble despite being such a treat for my eyes to feast upon.

I hope the woman you found does all of this for you and more!

To my ex-husband, the person who deserves thanks in various and confusing ways. I know I will miss things that could be added to this list, but four years is a long time to remember all those little things.

Thank you for the inside jokes, your adorable silliness and for being the first person with whom I could express my sexual side without hiding it. Thank you for, literally, showing me the world. The time away from my home town and my family made me appreciate them all the more when it was finally time to return to them.

Thank you for making me believe in the institution of marriage, for the first time in my life, if only for a little while. Thank you for bringing a sense of calm and serenity to my life and for being the first person to hold me together, physically and emotionally.

I am forever in your debt, not only for sharing a life, money and a home, but for the pets we would adopt together. Thank you for allowing me to keep them. During out time together, I was finally able to feel like I wasn’t facing this world alone. I felt like I was part of a team, and that other people understood the same struggles we were going through.

And, finally, thank you for leaving me. I am not sure when, or if, I ever would have had the courage to leave our marriage. I loved you so much, but you were slowly killing me. Although I still disagree with your reasons and ultimately think that our marriage could have worked had we better worked together, the sudden change in the direction my life went in is the single greatest motivation I’ve ever had to be happy. And I needed that.

It was through our separation and divorce that I finally found a counselor who clicked and a counseling style that I still rely on to this day. It was through those trials and many, many errors that I would build the foundation of the adult that I am today — well-adjusted, compassionate, caring, helpful, three-dimensional, sex positive and more.  While I cannot say for sure that it wouldn’t have happened anyway given time, thank you for pushing it to happen more quickly. I am glad to have the worst behind me.

Thank you for showing me that I needed to believe in myself so that I could avoid the same mistakes we made with future partners. I hope you’ve learned anything at all from us. Without you, I am not sure I would be able to feel grateful to anyone who came after you.

Thank you.

Categories
Lingerie Reviews

Lovehoney Plus Size Adore Me Bustier

Lovehoney Adore Me Bustier
$49.99 from Lovehoney

You guys, I love black and red. Obviously. The color combination is great. Given that it’s the palette Lovehoney decided to go with for their new Adore Me line of lingerie, I instantly fell in love with almost every single piece. No lie.

So I left it pretty open when it came to choosing which piece to send me, and I got the Adore Me bustier. I opted for plus size because standard sizing has no XL. This might be a mistake on their part, but I think the design takes into consideration different body shapes and sizes by being stretchy and adjustable in multiple places.

This might be might first bustier. I generally choose babydolls that are more loose fitting around the midsection. So how did my first experience go?

I liked the feel of the Adore Me bustier as soon as I put it on. The microfiber bustier is super comfy. It slides right across your skin and isn’t much of a barrier between your body and your partner or even your own hands. You could probably sleep in it.

But like any bustier, it’s going to show any bulges or whatnot. If you’re worried about your tummy, you might look for something other than the G-string it comes with to prevent panty lines and bulges. As a whole, this is the more revealing piece when compared to the Adore Me Chemise, which is a little longer, features a straight laced hem all the way around and covers the breasts with a layer of microfiber. The chemise is still pretty form-fitting, even though it’s longer and covers your butt, so these pieces might not be up your alley if you’re working on body issues.

The chemise might offer a little bit more support to the chest. Although neither of these pieces of lingerie have underwire, the lace cups on the Adore Me bustier are definitely on the low end of support. My breasts needed a little adjusting to be ideal. Because I need more support from the side, this wasn’t perfect for me.

However, the straps are a thicker fabric, which should be good if you’re more well-endowed. You can adjust both the length of the shoulder straps as well as the two straps that cross in the cutout at the back. This enables you to choose how much skin you want to wear and even adjust the fit. Because the plus sizes cover a range 1x/2x or 3x/4x, this is important and a smart decision on Lovehoney’s design team’s part.

So how does sizing run on this piece? I am barely plus-sized and it was comfortable. There’s a lot  of stretch so you could definitely fit up to a a 2x, but it likely wouldn’t be as flattering. I took a couple measurements. These are flat measurements:

  • Empire waist: 17.5 inches
  • Center waist to bottom hem in front: 12.5″
  • Side waist to beginning of garter: 17″
  • Distance from bottom of cutout to lace hem edge along ruching: 7″
  • Minimum shoulder strap length: 5″
  • Max shoulder strap length: 9,5″
  • Min garter length: 2.5″
  • Max garter length:  5″
  • Length of cups in center: 9″

Obviously, 35 inches for the waist line isn’t super plus sized, but I was easily able to stretch it to 25 inches. It may not wear comfortable that way, but there’s a generous amount of give in the fabric. In the product photo, its stretched much more so that it will cover the taller-than-I-am model’s tummy and some of her pubic area.  I stand only 5’2″ and this is about how long it is on me, unstretched, with the bra straps about 1/2 longer than the minimum.

Aside from the cups, pretty much everything on the Adore Me Bustier is adjustable, and I think many people will find they’ve gotten their money’s worth with this piece.

lovehoney-adore-me-bustier-details
Adjustable straps, Lovehoney charm and twisted strap

The detailing doesn’t just stop with adjustability. I enjoy the lace details at the empire waist and along the back hem, which isn’t as drastic of a curve as the front. Beneath the open back, there’s vertical ruching in the center of your lower back/butt, which brings the lace hem upward. This allows your butt to peak out from beneath it, as you can see in product photos.

There’s a tiny Lovehoney charm between the breasts that I initially didn’t even notice, but I quite like it! In fact, the attention to detail really shows through. It’s not a groundbreaking design by any means, but the lace, ruching, ribbon and charm all make it feel very “complete.”

However, one thing I did notice was that one of the shoulder straps was sewn incorrectly, so that one side of the strap always twists and won’t lie flat. It’s not a deal breaker, but it is something I would notice.

Like any set that comes with a G-string, this one was much too large for me. If sizing is an issue, you could consider the Adore Me garter panties, which have removeable garters and come in both standard and plus sizes, for a better fit.

I might have liked the Adore Me Chemise a little better in hindsight, but I definitely enjoyed my first experience with a bustier overall. If the attention to detail and general quality — minus the one twisted strap — is any indicator, Lovehoney’s doing a good job with their lingerie!

Categories
Books Giveaways Reviews

The Big Book of Domination Review + Giveaway

The Big Book of Domination
$13 from Amazon

Perhaps the single most noticeable way that The Big Book of Domination differs from The big Book of Submission is the number of stories. At over 200 pages, this book could have dozens of stories, but it actually only contains 25 stories. With 69 stories in The Big Book of Submission, each story was shorter on average.

When it comes to what I like in erotica, this isn’t actually a boon. I love sudden fiction. I love sultry sex in 2000 words or less. I like reading it. I like writing it. I don’t need the flowery descriptions that add to word count. I’m not a huge fan to a ton of buildup. Show me the main event.

It just seems like the point where I would end the story introduces another scene, and I can’t keep myself glued to the pages. Perhaps I get off too quickly, but this isn’t really conducive to how I use erotica.

I also found it hard to keep my attention rapt through the first three stories, which involved male domination. Fortunately, the fourth ushers in a domme, but the first three could, perhaps, been broken up in a different order. While most of the stories do seem to pair a male dominant with a female submissive, I do like how several of them play with BDSM roles. Several stories involve submissive experiment with holding the metaphorical whip.

There are other themes that I noted in The Big Book of Domination. These include power exchanges that are surprising and somewhat sudden, either between strangers or from the point of a view of a submissive discovering another’s dominant tendencies.

Because so many of these stories seem to be from the submissive’s view point, The Big Book of Domination isn’t as different from The Big Book of Submission as I think it could be. It’s more of a general BDSM collection in my opinion. With that said, the stories happen in many different and sometimes unusual settings. There is an overall lack of cliche, even if that means I sometimes am turned off by something such as manly boot licking.

This isn’t to say that I hated the book. I didn’t. There were a few stories I found particularly enjoyable, especially the last story, “Little Angel” by Evan Mora. It was one of the many stories where someone who typically identifies as a submissive experiments with dominance and finds it thrilling!

Now, this might not be the perfect book for me but I feel confident that many people will like it. In fact, some people specifically like erotica that’s a little longer than most sudden fiction. If you liked The Big Book of Submission but thought the stories should be longer or even if you didn’t like it because each piece wasn’t long enough, I would suggest you check out The Big Book of Domination.

One lucky reader of OSAL will get their chance to read the book thanks to the folks at Cleis Press, who are sponsoring a giveaway. One American winner will get their hands on this anthology, and you can determine whether or not this book is two thumbs up.

Enter using the giveaway widget below. Remember to check back daily to earn more entries and increase your chance of winning!

Good luck!

The Big Book of Domination

Ends March 26.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Categories
Reviews Vibrators

Mona Wave

Mona Wave
$179 from Lelo

Listen, guys. Lelo is trying really hard to be innovative. It’s not enough to make toys of silicone that are rechargeable. They did that. And then everyone else did that. They’ve got to get a couple steps ahead of the game.

It certainly wasn’t cutting it for them to try to revamp some of their most-loved items. The sophomore versions of most toys, including the Gigi, just fell short. Perhaps the second Mona was an improvement.

And Lelo took heart, maybe? Because they tried to do something completely different with Ora, which was met with disdain from almost the entire sex-toy-buying community. I liked it, but the original obviously wasn’t ready to be released. And Siri 2? Props on increasing the motor for one of my favorite clit toys, but that whole “music vibe” thing is a joke.

So what else can Lelo do? Fun Factory has already done something interesting and relatively successful with the Stronic line, so I guess Lelo’s going to stick to mimicking manual g-spot stimulation.

That’s where this whole Wave thing comes in. Lelo picked two popular toys, Mona and Ina, to “upgrade.” Rather than just creating another g-spot vibe, Lelo has allowed the head of Mona to wag back and forth — like the “come hither” motion. There is also vibration, and you can use them together or separately if you’d like.

The vibration alone isn’t any better than the original Mona or Mona 2. The original has been discontinued, but you’re going to save a chunk of money if you buy Mona 2. To be honest, this is probably the best option for anyone who isn’t entirely sure that Mona Wave isn’t for them. Unless you’re comfortable throwing away money. And this is why.

The problem, I think, with Mona Wave is that it’s one size fits most. And if it fits me fairly well, that means it’s going to fall short for a lot of other people.

The back-and-forth motion performs at a uniform pace. If it works for you, that’s great. It’s just kind of boring. And there’s no increase or decrease in intensity to get you to the point where you’re going to have a g-spot orgasm or squirt. This is going to mean that “one size fits most,” results in some pretty unhappy customers.

As far as toys go, the Mona Wave is all about providing the same sensation instantly. Maybe you’ll reach for it after another toy has gotten you almost there.. but why would you? You could use the vibration and curved shaft to stimulate your G-spot and then turn on the wave function, but that seems kinda fickle, and you may find yourself removing the toy to look at the buttons.

This is always an issue with me when I’m using toys that have more than one function. I can never just switch between them, and I’ve never thought that Lelo’s standard 4-button control panel was quite as intuitive as it could be.

Mona Wave might have 10 speeds, be waterproof and come with a warranty, but none of that is going to mean much to disappointed sex toy lovers who aren’t able to successfully cater their masturbation style to the Mona Wave rather than the other way around, which I think many people argue is the better way. So Lelo’s claims that Mona Wave is the first of its kind that will revolutionize vibrators is just a claim the company can’t back up.