JO Hair Reduction Serum

December 4th, 2014

JO Hair Reduction Serum
$16.99 from Amazon

Shame and exhaustion are the two things I feel when I think about how much time I must spend removing hair or even just thinking about it. I am not a fortunate person with wispy blonde hairs. I have dark, coarse hair. The older I get, the more I have. I shave practically every part of my body to deal with these hairs, save for my arms. This is the one place on my body where it doesn’t seem like a cardinal sin to have hair.

I settled on shaving because it’s the compromise between expensive salon waxing or even more expensive hair removal and touchable skin. I’ve tried any number of at-home creams and waxes, none to much success. Coarse hair isn’t so easily dealt with when it comes to those chemicals. Tweezing works well, but the only epilator I’ve managed to use wasn’t very good, either. Shaving it is.

And it becomes quite quick once you get a routine. There are places I won’t go without shaving every day. Those are the places where women don’t even talk about having hair. I’m less worried about places where it’s “okay” to shave because we shouldn’t have hair there — legs, underarms, pubic region, thighs. Those areas are truly the least of my worries.

With so much hair to worry about, I’ve thought about ways to complement shaving or even permanently remove hair. Since laser removal is out of the question, I started considering creams that would help with hair. I’ve seen a few reviews about products designed to slow growth, make hair more fine and reduce the necessity to shave. I was hoping that some of those more obvious areas that I hide shaving would react well to System Jo’s Hair Reduction Serum, then.

To put it bluntly: it didn’t. After weeks of daily application — you’re supposed to put on the lotion after you remove hair. It says it works with “all” hair removal types but only listings shaving and waxing. Um, okay, then.

It might have even been over a month, and I’ve noticed nothing. All the places I was shaving on a daily basis still require daily shaving. The hair is no less dark or thick. Stubble feels exactly the same.

I mean, i guess it’s a good thing there are no negative reactions. The thin lotion has a light scent, like just a hint of vanilla, and it causes no ill reactions. It seems to moisturize and doesn’t add to any discomfort of shaving sensitive areas, but it also doesn’t do much of anything, either.

I really wish this product worked better — at all? — than it does because I so enjoy the scent. There’s no reason to continue buying it once I run out, however, because I’ve got plenty of scented lotions, and who needs an extra product? I’m still interested in lotions like this, but System Jo’s option isn’t it.

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Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

Heartbreak is Hell on the Sex Drive

December 2nd, 2014

Whenever one of my sexual relationships ends, I go through an awkward stage of adjustment. When I am sexually active with one person, I tend to include them in my fantasies when when I’m by myself. My masturbation sessions focus around that one person, a real live person. I recall things we’ve done or conversation we’ve had, and I think about the things we have yet to do.Obviously, this became the case with the bartender.

Now that we’re no longer having sex, I’ve rarely masturbated. I don’t want to fantasize about him because it will segue into those heartbroken thoughts, and I’m not sure what do to. I’m not good with vague erotic thoughts. I need something more specific to consider. Without that something — or someone — specific, I become too focused on the mechanics, which is a terrible way to orgasm.

I get off most easily when I distracted myself from what a hand or toy is doing and focus on what’s going on in my head. It’s when I’m really swept up that I seem to have the best orgasms, and this is complete with all sorts of sounds and movements that are well beyond my control or controlled in such a way to add to the moment.

I’m working on getting over this, however. In multiple ways. As time passes, I’ll be less upset and heartbroken. In the meantime, I shouldn’t have to suffer without release, should I? To this end, I’ve been focusing on ideas outside of myself: erotica anthologies, plenty of visits to Tumblr, random flirting with strangers and the occasional visit to sites like SpicyWebcams.

It’ll take time, of course. Sometimes auto-drive kicks in and I find myself thinking about the bartender or even moaning his name. When I realize this, I am momentarily confused. Do I go with it because it feels good or catch myself and stop, which will usually take me out of the moment?

I was discussing this with Juliettia because it’s something of an identity crisis, for me to not be sexual in any way. It’s bad enough that I can’t have sex with the person I love, but it’s worse that it’s affecting my desire to masturbate. I feel as though I’ve lost part of who I am, and that only adds to the sea of emotions in which I’m struggling to stay afloat. It’s good to have a place where I can express that, too. Obviously sex is one of the more important aspects of my life and relationships.

Things are looking up, however, thanks in part to two items I have to review: the Ora 2 and The Big Book of Submission! After nearly two weeks without an orgasm, I quickly caught up with some multiple-orgasm sessions.

I’m not entirely sure if other people have experienced this, and I know I don’t always feel this way. But when I am losing someone I want, I also lose part of myself.

3 Comments

Categories: Dating, The Bartender

Lelo Smart Wand Large

November 29th, 2014

Lelo Smart Wand Large
$177 from Hush

Lelo is certainly good at creating attractive products. The Smart Wands are perfect examples of this. Pretty much every other wand massager I’ve used has been a shade of hideous worthy of Medusa. Lelo’s offerings aren’t.

Lelo also decided to go the way of cordless, which means this is a rechargeable wand. I’ve only used one rechargeable wand, but I definitely wasn’t impressed with it. In fact, it’s on my swap list. I felt pretty confident that Lelo’s option would beat out that rechargeable wand, but would it be as good as — or any better — than typical plug-in wands?

I wanted the best chance for success, so I skipped right by the medium. Both options are certainly pricey, but the large costs $60 more than medium, which Lelo sells directly for $129. Hush sells the large Smart Wand for $199 CAD, or around $177 USD. Of course, you’d expect a high price point like this from Lelo.

You’d also expect the wand to be covered in body-safe silicone. It is. You can’t toss this in your dishwasher, but you can spray with bleach. The silicone covers the majority of the toy. It’s loser around the thin neck. There’s a silver plastic panel on the handle. I noticed that where the silicone tucks into this piece at the base, it’s not super secure. I can push the silicone in and get my fingernail under the edge of the piece. I guess I happen to hold the wand in a way that makes this possible. It could be more secure, but it’s attractive and likely not a deal-breaker.

Smart Wand next to Miracle Massager and Inspire

Smart Wand next to Miracle Massager and Inspire

The controls on this toy are the typical Lelo style, which makes them quite different from the switches and buttons on most wands. This also means there’s more modes than typical wands. In fact, I’ve never used a wand that is able to pulsate or escalate, I don’t think. But I’m not a big fan of all those fancy modes, so I stick to the steady vibes. The vibrations in this are rather rumbly — the type I like. But they’re also not as strong as any plug-in vibrator. That’s just not possible. The highest setting is definitely lower than that of any corded vibe I’ve got. One of the benefits of the Smart Wands, however, is the option to switch between lowest and highest. You typically don’t get more than two or three settings with most wands, and this could be a serious selling point.

But I can’t wholly recommend the large Smart Wand because it is, well, large. It’s the largest of all the wands I have, both in overall size and in the size of the head. In the comparison photo is the Miracle Massager and the Inspire. The Smart Wand just seems like a behemoth in comparison, and it feels incredibly bulky during use. The hand thins toward the centers but then grows wider again toward the base, so it feels awkward when I hold it. And the head is so large and rounded that I just feel like I can’t get enough or the right kind of pressure.

It took me a long time to build up to orgasm, and while the vibrations were enough to do the trick, shape it also incredibly important for me. Lelo’s Smart Wand might be worth the money if your focus is on convenience, depth of vibes and luxury, but I can’t see myself reaching for this toy over one of the smaller and easier to use options that I already have, even if I’m tethered to them by a cord.

1 Comment

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Elegant Moments Leopard Print Chiffon Halter Style Babydoll

November 26th, 2014

Leopard Print Babydoll
$15.93 - $29.99 from Amazon

It might be cliche, but I just love animal print. The subtle brown leopard print in this babydoll by Elegant Moments drew me in. After a string of misses, however, this might because the past piece of lingerie I try for a while.

I recently discovered a term that I like quit a bit: inbetweenies. It refers to people of my size who border plus and regular sizes. The term is great, the sizing issue isn’t so much. I find fewer options available to me. Typical sizes run too small, and extended sizes tend to be too large as was the case with this leopard print babydoll.

When I put it on, there simply seemed to be an excess of fabric around my stomach and hips. There was no cute “peekaboo” effect at all because of how it overlapped. It’s a shame that this didn’t fit as I’d hoped because I really do like the cut. You so often see flyaway babydolls that are simply two pieces “curtains” together at the empire waist, but the cut of fabric is more like an upside down U shape. It seems like the cut is more modest in the plus sizes than the other sizes, which I missed when looking at product images. I think it would better hide tummies if you’re worried about that as your problem area.

If the chiffon portion of the babydoll fits, you’ll be able to adjust the top thanks to the halter tie, which you can adjust behind your neck. The animal print cups have no elastic, however, so they might not look exactly stunning if your breasts are either on the larger or smaller size for the triangular cups. as a 40B/C, I felt as though my breasts might have been a bit on the small size, but my ribcage curves a lot so they need more support from the side to come together. The fabric cups offer little in the way of support, though. Women with larger breasts will no doubt experience more stress because of the weight of them and the halter, of course.

Another consideration is the decorative circle/buckle on the empire waist. I typically like to get lingerie that is comfortable and practical enough to double as sleepwear, but I wouldn’t wear this babydoll to bed because of that piece, which is made of a hard plastic. The plastic is textured to look diamonds from far away, but it looks a little cheaper up close.

Decorative details on the babydoll

Decorative details on the babydoll

Like most lingerie, the included thong, which is made of the same material as the cups of the babydoll, is too large for me. I tend to wear a smaller size underwear than my bust and waist size, however. Like the cups. there’s no stretch, so this will either fit you or it won’t.

The lack of stretch is a theme around this entire piece, in fact. The waist band — which is a satin-y material styled to look like a belt but is only in front of the babydoll — has absolutely no elasticity to it. I think it would feel better if it did stretch a bit, and it would look better if the “belt” wrapped around the entire waist. Indeed, an adjustable belt might be a better option altogether if the plastic circle functioned as a buckle.

The only bit of elastic in this babydoll is at the back, which runs below your shoulder blades to show off your neck and shoulder. This isn’t enough in my opinion. The rest of the back is a continuous piece of chiffon that wraps around and falls well below my ass on my short frame.

Overall, this piece seems fairly well made. I noticed no loose threads or other defects in the craftsmanship. The chiffon is silky and and smooth and this would likely be comfortable to wear if it fit you well.

The 1X size does seems to run a bit larger, however, so keep that in mind when shopping.

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Categories: Lingerie, Reviews

Make love to your long distance lover online

Svakom Gaga

November 22nd, 2014

Svakom Gaga
$180 from Svakom

Sex toys and innovation.

Sex toys.

and.

Innovation.

Those words sounds really great when you put them together. Indeed, any number of companies want to take your money in exchange for whatever “innovation” they’ve added, even if you’re already seen it before. (-cough- I’m talking to you, Lelo, CEN and Doc Johnson -cough-). I suspect I’m not the only reviewer who cringes whenever she reads the word “innovation.”

The thing is, some companies are innovative. My experience with Svakom has generally been that this is one of those companies. However, innovation in and of itself isn’t necessarily good. It might be be able to achieve mass sales. Innovation may be good for only a few consumers. Innovation might make an item too niche for the general public. The word itself is heralded as an amazing thing, but sometimes it’s just different, and that doesn’t mean it good.

This is where Svakom’s Gaga falls. Gaga is a basic cylindrical vibe that reminds me of the Freestyle, but it’s generally thinner and narrower if I recall correctly. This “endoscopic” vibrator comes complete with a tiny camera and light built into the end, so you can see inside yourself as you use it. This means you need a compatible computer — Windows 7 and 8 will work just fine — and the USB cable. I don’t know why, but the fact that this connects to my computer makes me even more anxious about keeping the port clear of water. In fact, Svakom ships Gaga with an extra nub of silicone to cover it. Smart.

The vibrator comes with a disc. It’s not a software installation disc as much as it is a software-having disc. To be honest, I’m not sure that you have to use this program, but I’m not invested enough to figure out an alternative. So you need to have the disc inserted and the vibe connected via the USB cable. Then you have to turn on the camera with a button on the vibe. If you’ve got a webcam on your computer, the software will pick it up.

The program is incredibly easy to use but as I have an external DVD ROM, it’s kind of a drag. But you know what’s worse? You can’t really see anything when this is inserted. The addition of a light certainly helps, but the way the vagina is a potential space rather than a structured cave — you’re welcome for the awkward visual? — doesn’t work as well with the Gage as you might expect. Or perhaps it’s exactly as you’d expect if you gave it any thought.

I knew this before going in, but it was still a bummer. Other reviewers said that they bought clear, plastic speculums to use with this toy. But the thing it, you shouldn’t have to purchase something else to get the base use out of it! It should just work or come with everything you need to make it work. I didn’t want to shell out any more money.

To be honest, I wasn’t so disappointed. The idea of having to use a vibrator while it’s connected to my computer isn’t one that I find all that appealing. I know it would skyrocket the price, but a wireless transmission method or even being able to record the video and play it back at a later time just make more sense to me. Then again, I spend more on computers than some people do cars, and I can only imagine the sort of damage I might be able to do when tethered to my computer with a short USB cord in the midst of orgasm.

I feel the need to mention the vibrations before I wrap this up. They’re quite buzzy and disappointing. Leslie was a much better vibrator. This one’s easy to use, though. I wouldn’t recommend it for clitoral stimulation unless you can use the side of toys. I like to use the tip, but that’s where the camera is located rather than the motor.

This isn’t to say that no one  will enjoy Gaga. Some people will be into the idea of an endoscopic vibe much more than I am, and they’ll invest in a clear speculum. If you’re into medical and/or fetish play like this, the Gage might be the sort of unique item that you just have to add to your collection. However, I can’t see casual sex toy users rushing to the stores to purchase this vibrator, especially when it’s not strong enough to serve as a traditional fallback even without the camera option.

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Love, Yourself

November 19th, 2014

They say you have to love yourself before others can love you. Or maybe they say you need to love yourself first, before you can love another. And no doubt that a love shared between people who love and respect themselves with be a truer and more respectful love, but they don’t tell you how people will love you anyway. And you’ll love others, too. It will be messier because you’re so far from self-actualization, but this won’t make it any less powerful.

And you won’t be able to let people truly love you as long as you don’t believe you’re deserving of it. Sometimes, they’ll walk away. But some people, people like myself, with love you all the harder because of it, because of the potential we see in you, the light of hope in your eyes.

People will get hurt. It’s inevitable. Even people who know they’re hoping against hope in a reality that just can’t cater to them. Even when no one wants to get hurt. Even when, at the end of the day, there could be love between people. People get hurts.

I guess that’s life. I suppose it’s easier to sing along with that lesson as an Alanis song than to learn it yourself, especially when it takes so many times for that lesson to really sink it. i’m not entirely sure why that is. Perhaps it’s just hard to be a realistic when you have the heart of an optimist. Maybe I am doomed to always see the best in people even if, in reality, they’re more likely to hut me than to be their best.

How many more times do I ignore warning signs, I wonder, before I turn off this path?

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Categories: Dating, Everything Else, The Bartender

The Girls Bestie Vibe

November 10th, 2014

Bestie
$90 from Good Vibes

reviewer’s remorse

noun

1.

overwhelming regret upon using or opening a sex toy for the first time and knowing instantaneously that there’s no way you can like it — and you can’t even send it back for a refund because it was free!

2.

theme of this post

Let’s set the stage shall we? I am so excited for new brands that sometimes I let my excitement get the best of me. I forget to check all-important stats such as length or girth or, God forbid, power source! of a toy. Or I forget that I really don’t like clitoral stimulators shaped like bunny ears. You can guess which one I am guilty of this time.

Yes, the bestie has silly bunny ears. Yes, the vibrations are incredibly buzzy, so those ears wind up.. offending my clit. It’s not a powerful barrage. It’s not over-stimulating. It’s simply the wrong kind of stimulation. My clit is offended, okay?

If you like bunny ears fluttering over your clit, then maybe yours won’t be offended, but I’m pretty terrible at guessing these things.

Bestie’s charging base reminds me a lot of the ones that comes with the Form 3 and Form 3. The rounded butt sits in it. However, there’s actually a plug on the base that inserts into the port. I slightly prefer this because it means that it won’t fall off my nightstand and go rolling across the floor. Or that my asshole cats can’t run off with it like they’ve been doing with my Yooo.

Anyway, A green light flashes while it charges. The soft silicone area around the charging port lights up blue when it’s in use, but the button doesn’t light up. It’s raised and embossed, so you won’t have any issues finding it.

The vibrations are both incredibly buzzy and whiny, and Bestie provides you with three incredibly buzzy levels of steady vibes in case you weren’t sure how offended your clit would be to start with. There’s a buzz-buuzzz mode,  and a pulsation that sounds like it’s an alien trying to communicate with us and a fast pulsation leading up to a slower pulse. The laughable vibrations aren’t enough to make these feel good, however. Plus, the weird noise is sooo distracting. It’s not loud, but it’s at a specific pitch that makes me want to punch someone in the junk.

I guess I think it’s cool that Vibratex has moved away from shitty toys like the Rabbit Habit, of which I broke two when I was 18, and to rechargeable silicone toys. But these are only splashproof and far overpriced for vibrations that literally feel on bar with watch-battery-powered bullets to me. Most of their battery-powered toys rely on AAAs, which I never ever like. When compared to the Magic Wand Original, which they know make, it’s obvious these toys represent the extremes with no middle ground. Boo!

And while Amie might have been a better shape for me — it’s similar to the Minna Limon — I’m sure I would still find myself underwhelmed by the power. The Limon is just $29 more. It’s expensive but well worth it in my opinion. If you’re looking for something under $100, the We-Vibe Tango at $80 is your best bet. I haven’t used the newest model, but I still rely heavily on my original Tango. I still fucking LOVE my Siri, and the Leaf Spirit also costs less than $100 at Good Vibes.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.