Happy 5th Birthday oSaL! Have a giveaway!

July 17th, 2013

Birthday candles

Usually, the anniversary here at Of Sex and Love comes and passes and I miss it. I don’t mean to, I just don’t have it memorized, and I obviously spend less time in this corner of the Internet than I used to. It’s not that I don’t love you, because I do. However, the landscape of things has changed, and it doesn’t take a genius to see this. Still, I’m here, and I think there’s something to be said for that.

I’m still learning. I’m still making friends. I’m still finding new toys that I love and trying to help other bloggers and reviewers by giving them information and steering them away from awful companies.  I’ve made a few changes in the past year. I joined Tumblr, and have been trying to be active on it. You can follow me here or see my highlights every Thursday-ish. Additionally, I’ve been trying to sc0ur the Web for more content that I think my readers would enjoy.

I’ve been running giveaways with widgets instead of through comments. For the most part, it makes everything easier for me. The rest of the Internet is ahead of this trend, so I hope you guys are getting the hang of it. I’ve been making more of an effort to include photos in my reviews, which I think is something that other people like more than I do, so I never noticed before.

I couldn’t begin to guess how many toys or posts I’ve made since last July — there are about 50 reviews and 10 giveaways — but I can give you the rundown since I started this blog:

  • 723 posts
  • 32 categories
  • 1360 tags — wow!
  • 3922 comments
  • 247 Tumblr posts
  • 92 Facebook followers

One of the things that I cannot quite quantify is how I’ve become more of a feminist after hanging out with this crowd. It started as Adriana clicking links, reading posts and leaving comments, but now I’m a vocal feminist in my real life. This is one of the reasons I am quieter on OSAL: I’m spending less time hiding behind anonymity.

Looking back, not everything is grand. I debated adding these thoughts at all but they’re important because they’re me. So many of the people that I’ve loved have now become people that I’ve lost. None of the communities feel the same anymore, and I feel an increasing sense of disconnect. Now, more than even when I started this blog, I feel like an outsider looking in. I feel invisible more often than I’d care to admit. It reminds me of times as a child that still evoke negative emotions. I don’t quite know how to reconcile that.

But I’d like to change that, so perhaps my next year with this blog will be one where I focus on making friendships that extend past Twitter or Facebook. Beyond forums. Into the land of the person behind Adriana rather than just the persona I’ve developed. In that vein, I don’t just want to reward you as my readers and commenters. I’d like to use this soapbox to engage with and get to know you. Maybe this will be a little more fun, or maybe you’re just here for the giveaway prize.

And to the point of this post: a giveaway! $100 from PinkCherry to residents of the con US and Canada. Shipping’s on PinkCherry so you can spend every last penny! Use the form below to enter.

Good luck!

$100 to PinkCherry

Click here to load the form if it doesn’t show up on page.

Ends August 17.

217 Comments

Categories: Giveaways, Site

Skinny Dip Bath and Shower Gel

July 15th, 2013

Bath & Shower Gel

Bath & Shower Gel
$13.95 from Amazon

It seems like forever ago when I wrote a review for the suntouched candle in skinny dip smell. I still have it, actually, because I’ve had so few opportunities to use it since then. I loved the scent, but honestly, it reminded me of something dreamsicle-like. The sweet vanilla was very obvious and I detected hints of citrus, even though the company actually makes products in the dreamsicle scent. Thus, I knew what to expect when I wanted to try the shower gel from TabuToys.

If you’re not so familiar, then you’ll probably be happy to know that these products are all about remaining natural and good for you. Instead of chemicals, you get natural ingredients such as hemp seed, which is the basis of all Earthly Body products as far as I can tell. I’ve tried a few more hemp seed products since I initially used the massage candle, and I think I’m a fan. Among the perks are the following:

  • Paraben free
  • Petroleum free
  • Phthalate free
  • Cruelty-free
  • Vegan

Honestly, I’ll put just about anything on my body as long as it smells good. When it comes to shower gels, a nice lather is also important. The Skinny Dip bath & shower gel by Earthly Body does absolutely both. Now, if you were just taking a sniff at the bottle on the shelf of a store, you might be a little disappointed. You can’t smell much in the bottle. You have to actually put it on your body and let it lather up. Then, the sweet vanilla scent wafts to your nose. I find the smell of the body wash is a little more gentle, less aggressive than the candle. If you want something that’s more lightly scented, this might be the product for you.

It’s also great at lathering. The foam is big and fluffy and fun. Is that a weird way to describe it? I like big, fluffy shower gels. I like to feel the silky foam on my body, and this body wash delivers in that department. It feels luxurious. And I get clean, so that’s awesome.

The bottle is a little smaller but the benefit of this is that the opening is also smaller, so you don’t tend to squeeze out as much product at once, and you really don’t need to with the amount of lather that you get.

The ingredients such as hemp seed lend to moisturizing, but a good lotion or moisturizer after your shower is probably best if you have rather dry skin. Mine’s not, especially in summer time. Earthly Body makes a hand and body lotion in the same scent for that. Other products in the line include body mist, a combination massage candle and body butter and massage oil.

Now, it’s not perfect. For example, it’s a little rough on this sunburn that I’ve managed to give myself, so you may want to pass it up if you’re super sensitive or have a skin condition that soaps tend to irritate. It’s also slippery. I forget this because I only have a shower, but you could kill yourself in your tub if you have nothing to stop skidding. That’s really just the way it is with any body washes. It’d be cool if they had a bar soap, but body wash doesn’t leave a residue like that.

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Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

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SHE AfterCare Giveaway

July 13th, 2013

Let me tell you a secret: I fucking hate the heat. I hate sweat. I hate BO. I hate chafing thighs. These things make me feel uncomfortable and dirty. They also make me feel way less than sexy, so that’s all sorts of bullshit, you know? This summer, I’ve finally decided to figure out how the hell to deal with things that I don’t want to even think about let alone deal with, and I’ve found some pretty good solutions with some products from Sexual Health Enthusiasts.

she aftercareNow, you may have read my review of the Afterglow wipes some years ago now. Can you believe it’s been that long?! More recently, I wrote a glowing review for the AfterShave oil, which I literally have on my skin as I type this. From the line, I will also be writing a review about the AfterTrace Odor Neutralizer, a product that I can definitely use in the summer time so I can feel a little more awesome even during this hot and humid weather.

While you’re waiting for that review, though, I have something to tide you over: a giveaway. Tabu Toys has been generous to not only provide me with samples for review but to give one of the readers here at Of Sex and Love the same opportunity! You’ll get both the Odor Neutralizer and the Aftershave Oil, which would normally cost $35 if you purchased them yourself. However, I’m confident enough that you’ll like at least one of these products enough to continue purchasing them on your own. I can’t imagine my life without the aftershave oil, so price is no object.

You won’t need to pay anything if you win this giveaway, though. As long as you live within the continental US, where summer is in full force, you’ll get these for free. Just take a look at the PromoSimple widget below to get your entries in.

Good luck!

Sexual Health Enthusiasts Aftercare Products

Click here if the widget doesn’t load.

This giveaway will end on July 31 and is open to residents of the USA. Of Sex and Love is no responsible for shipping of giveaway prizes. The address you enter into the giveaway form is the address that will be submitted to the sponsor.

39 Comments

Categories: Giveaways

This Week on Tumblr

July 12th, 2013

I spent Thursday through Sunday at a geek convention, so there wasn’t a lot of time to browse Tumblr. In fact, I didn’t hop on Tumblr until 24 hours after I got home. Gasp! However, there were a few gems to be found, starting with this creative image of someone’s favorite friend:

After attending a con that advertised “Costumes are not consent,” I was particularly struck by “16 ways to talk about consent.” Here’s slightly-more-than-half of those ways:

  1. “I like when you…”
  2. “How does this feel?”
  3. “Do you want to…?”
  4. “Show me what you like.”
  5. “Do you want to go further?”
  6. “Do you want to stop?”
  7. “Can I…?”
  8. “Does this feel good?”
  9. “Are you comfortable?”

I was a little confused by this article, in which the author discusses whether masturbation is healthy. The answer is, of course: duh!

I love the image that goes with this discussion on XOJane. Stop by and tell them what your favorite sex toy is.

You can win a Lelo Lyla 2 from Pleasure By Hush.

There’s also a review for the Stronic Zwei over on Bi Likes SciFi.

Finally, if you shell out $165, you’ll get this gorgeous dildo:

Doe

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Categories: internet, Tumblr Thursday

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Tracey Cox dare! Travel Vibrator

July 10th, 2013

Tracey Cox dare!

Tracey Cox dare!
$36.99 from Lovehoney

You know anything billed as a travel vibrator is almost designed to fail. And I hate vibes that use AAAs, but the weird shape of this one lured me in and I took the plunge. The odd shape makes it hard to photograph and I just had to know what it was like in my hand. It’s good news, then, that I don’t hate it. It’s kind of an awkward sex toy, but Dare! isn’t the worst vibrator I’ve ever tried. I’d recommend it if you have a limited budget and want something simple that’s travel-friendly and discreet, but I might recommend other toys first.

So, let’s talk about that shape. The Dare! is this flattish, rounded toy. Let me explain. It’s like a makeup compact that’s stretched to become more oblong than perfectly round. It’s much larger and thicker, of course. In fact, it doesn’t actually fit in the palm of the hand, which you can see in the product photos. The white “base” of the compact shape is thicker, so it resembles a skinny egg if you’re looking at it from the side. I don’t even pretend that I am a decent enough photographer to snap a shot. You just need to take my word for it.

The result of this unique shape is that you can use the Dare! travel vibrator in several ways. Press the flatter part against your body or wedge either the tip of base between your labia. This actually provides a bit of hands-free stimulation because you can hold the vibe in place between your thighs. It’s a bit bulky, but I was even able to slip it below my panties. The vertical position is probably the best because the vibrations are focused in the tip of the pink end. The design is all hard and sleek plastic, so there’s not any difference in how it’s going to feel. The slickness means little need for lube, and the rounded but firm tip on this toy worked well for pressure without stabbing myself.

However, I don’t see this as a couples vibe. How the hell are you going to use it during sex if you’re doing cowgirl or missionary? Doggie style would work in the most awkward of ways. Sorry, folks. It might work for body massage, though.

And the vibrations are surprisingly deep considering that this thing uses 2 AAA batteries, which you insert by twisting the white and pink portions of the toy away from one another. They’re still not super strong, but I don’t think I’ve felt vibes this deep from any toy that uses AAAs as a power source, and that’s saying something! My vulva doesn’t get all tingly and numb because the vibrations are high-pitched. The battery pack design makes this toy splashproof, so it’s safe to wash with soap and water and probably take into the shower, but the sensation from the water might drown out the vibes.

The settings include a low, medium and high steady vibration. There are also three pulsation settings, but as the Dare! vibe is only comparatively powerful, it’s not powerful enough to make those work for me.

One thing that definitely doesn’t work for me is the button placement. It’s on the side, protruding from the decorative silver band. This means you need to stick your fingertip or nail into the gap to press it. This sucks. My nails bend. Yours might break. The button is small enough that some fingers will be too big to reach it even without nails, and it’s hard to push. You really need to give it some oomph. To turn off the toy, you have to press and hold the button, which is even worse. There’s plenty of surface area where the button could be placed, so I don’t understand this.

While I was surprised by the vibes on this toy and enjoyed the shape more than I anticipated, the frustrating controls are going to prevent me from using it on a frequent basis or, perhaps, ever again.

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

See You Next Week!

July 4th, 2013

Tomorrow starts a 3-hour trek to CONvergence. I’ll be on Twitter if you need me. Please don’t need me.

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Categories: Everything Else

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Every Broken Heart Feels Like the First Time

July 3rd, 2013

I don’t even know where to start. I don’t even know if there’s a beginning. I’m caught up in the middle of it all. I’ll start with what I feel the most.

I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your stories. I miss 3:30 in the morning phone calls. I miss you just showing up out of nowhere. I miss walks in the dog park, trips to Wal-mart. I miss you just being there.  A text, a phone call, a Facebook message away.

The truth is, you’ve always meant so much to me, so much more than I ever let on. And maybe that was my fault, but when I realized that there could be something more, it suddenly all made so much sense. There wasn’t any stopping it because someone had finally tore down the damn. I was victim to the flood that followed but I didn’t care. I was enjoying the ride.

If I’m going to continue with this analogy, I guess I now feel like I am floating downriver. Somewhere along the way, you got out of the boat, but this is a two-person job. I can’t do it without a partner, and I was so ready to finally have one again. I saw in you someone I could trust, someone who I could open up to. I was ready to share the load and see where we could go together.

And now you’re gone. I’m alone. I was preparing for this journey, and I just want you back even if all we do is stand in ankle deep water trying to regain our footing. Even if we get out of this rive and climb a mountain instead. Even if all we do is send smoke signals across the distance. I need to know that you’re still there. I need to know that I mean something to you, that we did. I know that you cared. I know that you just don’t know how to care enough or in selfless ways. I know that your flaws are not my own, but it’s so easy to forget.

And part of me wonders if I don’t find it and sooner rather than later, will I ever find the path? If I couldn’t make you stick around, why would anyone? Am I not worthy enough? Am I really not a good person like I think I am? Am I so easy to walk away from? Could you ever have felt the way you said you did? Was there something more that I could do? How could you leave knowing what it would do to me? How could I let you in knowing that you would?

And perhaps most importantly, how could something feel so right if it was wrong? Why am I always wrong? Why am I attracted to the impossible? Why does it always seems like it’s just within reach but prove to be so far out of my grasp? Why does what’s available never appeal to me? Am I setting myself up for failure? How can I ever trust myself if it always seems to turn out like this?

This crippling self doubt isn’t real. I know that I feel it whenever I’m in the middle of things. I know that I will come out of the other side stronger just like I knew before I would when I let myself fall in love with you. Part of me just feels like I have no right to feel this way when I knew the risk, but I do still. And maybe I need to learn that it’s okay.

I’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. Maybe even better. I’ve been down this road before. I’ve picked up and set off on a new path. I just need to take it one step at a time along the way and right now maybe I just need to let myself feel a little. Right now I feel sad. Angry. Hurt. Frustrated. But I feel, and this means I am alive to try again another day. And I will, with or without you. But your copilot seat will be open for some time should you wish to join me again.

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Categories: Dating, The Bartender

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.