This Week on Tumblr

July 12th, 2013

I spent Thursday through Sunday at a geek convention, so there wasn’t a lot of time to browse Tumblr. In fact, I didn’t hop on Tumblr until 24 hours after I got home. Gasp! However, there were a few gems to be found, starting with this creative image of someone’s favorite friend:

After attending a con that advertised “Costumes are not consent,” I was particularly struck by “16 ways to talk about consent.” Here’s slightly-more-than-half of those ways:

  1. “I like when you…”
  2. “How does this feel?”
  3. “Do you want to…?”
  4. “Show me what you like.”
  5. “Do you want to go further?”
  6. “Do you want to stop?”
  7. “Can I…?”
  8. “Does this feel good?”
  9. “Are you comfortable?”

I was a little confused by this article, in which the author discusses whether masturbation is healthy. The answer is, of course: duh!

I love the image that goes with this discussion on XOJane. Stop by and tell them what your favorite sex toy is.

You can win a Lelo Lyla 2 from Pleasure By Hush.

There’s also a review for the Stronic Zwei over on Bi Likes SciFi.

Finally, if you shell out $165, you’ll get this gorgeous dildo:

Doe

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Categories: internet, Tumblr Thursday

Tracey Cox dare! Travel Vibrator

July 10th, 2013

Tracey Cox dare!

Tracey Cox dare!
$36.99 from Lovehoney

You know anything billed as a travel vibrator is almost designed to fail. And I hate vibes that use AAAs, but the weird shape of this one lured me in and I took the plunge. The odd shape makes it hard to photograph and I just had to know what it was like in my hand. It’s good news, then, that I don’t hate it. It’s kind of an awkward sex toy, but Dare! isn’t the worst vibrator I’ve ever tried. I’d recommend it if you have a limited budget and want something simple that’s travel-friendly and discreet, but I might recommend other toys first.

So, let’s talk about that shape. The Dare! is this flattish, rounded toy. Let me explain. It’s like a makeup compact that’s stretched to become more oblong than perfectly round. It’s much larger and thicker, of course. In fact, it doesn’t actually fit in the palm of the hand, which you can see in the product photos. The white “base” of the compact shape is thicker, so it resembles a skinny egg if you’re looking at it from the side. I don’t even pretend that I am a decent enough photographer to snap a shot. You just need to take my word for it.

The result of this unique shape is that you can use the Dare! travel vibrator in several ways. Press the flatter part against your body or wedge either the tip of base between your labia. This actually provides a bit of hands-free stimulation because you can hold the vibe in place between your thighs. It’s a bit bulky, but I was even able to slip it below my panties. The vertical position is probably the best because the vibrations are focused in the tip of the pink end. The design is all hard and sleek plastic, so there’s not any difference in how it’s going to feel. The slickness means little need for lube, and the rounded but firm tip on this toy worked well for pressure without stabbing myself.

However, I don’t see this as a couples vibe. How the hell are you going to use it during sex if you’re doing cowgirl or missionary? Doggie style would work in the most awkward of ways. Sorry, folks. It might work for body massage, though.

And the vibrations are surprisingly deep considering that this thing uses 2 AAA batteries, which you insert by twisting the white and pink portions of the toy away from one another. They’re still not super strong, but I don’t think I’ve felt vibes this deep from any toy that uses AAAs as a power source, and that’s saying something! My vulva doesn’t get all tingly and numb because the vibrations are high-pitched. The battery pack design makes this toy splashproof, so it’s safe to wash with soap and water and probably take into the shower, but the sensation from the water might drown out the vibes.

The settings include a low, medium and high steady vibration. There are also three pulsation settings, but as the Dare! vibe is only comparatively powerful, it’s not powerful enough to make those work for me.

One thing that definitely doesn’t work for me is the button placement. It’s on the side, protruding from the decorative silver band. This means you need to stick your fingertip or nail into the gap to press it. This sucks. My nails bend. Yours might break. The button is small enough that some fingers will be too big to reach it even without nails, and it’s hard to push. You really need to give it some oomph. To turn off the toy, you have to press and hold the button, which is even worse. There’s plenty of surface area where the button could be placed, so I don’t understand this.

While I was surprised by the vibes on this toy and enjoyed the shape more than I anticipated, the frustrating controls are going to prevent me from using it on a frequent basis or, perhaps, ever again.

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

See You Next Week!

July 4th, 2013

Tomorrow starts a 3-hour trek to CONvergence. I’ll be on Twitter if you need me. Please don’t need me.

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Categories: Everything Else

Every Broken Heart Feels Like the First Time

July 3rd, 2013

I don’t even know where to start. I don’t even know if there’s a beginning. I’m caught up in the middle of it all. I’ll start with what I feel the most.

I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your stories. I miss 3:30 in the morning phone calls. I miss you just showing up out of nowhere. I miss walks in the dog park, trips to Wal-mart. I miss you just being there.  A text, a phone call, a Facebook message away.

The truth is, you’ve always meant so much to me, so much more than I ever let on. And maybe that was my fault, but when I realized that there could be something more, it suddenly all made so much sense. There wasn’t any stopping it because someone had finally tore down the damn. I was victim to the flood that followed but I didn’t care. I was enjoying the ride.

If I’m going to continue with this analogy, I guess I now feel like I am floating downriver. Somewhere along the way, you got out of the boat, but this is a two-person job. I can’t do it without a partner, and I was so ready to finally have one again. I saw in you someone I could trust, someone who I could open up to. I was ready to share the load and see where we could go together.

And now you’re gone. I’m alone. I was preparing for this journey, and I just want you back even if all we do is stand in ankle deep water trying to regain our footing. Even if we get out of this rive and climb a mountain instead. Even if all we do is send smoke signals across the distance. I need to know that you’re still there. I need to know that I mean something to you, that we did. I know that you cared. I know that you just don’t know how to care enough or in selfless ways. I know that your flaws are not my own, but it’s so easy to forget.

And part of me wonders if I don’t find it and sooner rather than later, will I ever find the path? If I couldn’t make you stick around, why would anyone? Am I not worthy enough? Am I really not a good person like I think I am? Am I so easy to walk away from? Could you ever have felt the way you said you did? Was there something more that I could do? How could you leave knowing what it would do to me? How could I let you in knowing that you would?

And perhaps most importantly, how could something feel so right if it was wrong? Why am I always wrong? Why am I attracted to the impossible? Why does it always seems like it’s just within reach but prove to be so far out of my grasp? Why does what’s available never appeal to me? Am I setting myself up for failure? How can I ever trust myself if it always seems to turn out like this?

This crippling self doubt isn’t real. I know that I feel it whenever I’m in the middle of things. I know that I will come out of the other side stronger just like I knew before I would when I let myself fall in love with you. Part of me just feels like I have no right to feel this way when I knew the risk, but I do still. And maybe I need to learn that it’s okay.

I’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. Maybe even better. I’ve been down this road before. I’ve picked up and set off on a new path. I just need to take it one step at a time along the way and right now maybe I just need to let myself feel a little. Right now I feel sad. Angry. Hurt. Frustrated. But I feel, and this means I am alive to try again another day. And I will, with or without you. But your copilot seat will be open for some time should you wish to join me again.

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Categories: Dating, The Bartender

Make love to your long distance lover online

Taking the Stigma Out of Adult Fun and Games

July 2nd, 2013

There is a clear and rather sizeable difference between your bog-standard sex shop and your complete and comprehensive resource for adult fun and games. The difference lies not only in the way in which such establishments carry themselves, but the way in which at least one of them is making every effort to dispel taboos once and for all and get the nation as a whole more adventurous and courageous behind closed doors.

 Dark, Dirty and Dismal?

The problem facing the sex shop industry today is the way in which for so many decades it has for all intents and purposes been swept under the rug as something of a dirty little secret. Such stores were for the large part considered seedy and unsavoury, those using them carried the same kind of stigma and the situation was generally one from which nobody was profiting.

However, more liberal attitudes over recent years have seen the sex retail industry emerge from the rock it was forced under by society and has become one of the most ‘loud and proud’ industries out there. Those working for the cause have been making every effort to revamp the industry with a new, entirely less serious and more fun façade than ever before, in an attempt to remove the stigma from both the shops themselves and those using them.

That being said, for most it isn’t quite as simple as flipping a switch and suddenly becoming the most adventurous sexual pioneer on the face of the Earth, which is precisely why online sex shops have taken the revolution and have made it their own.

A New Dynamic

What makes the online sex shop such an important presence in the way forward for the industry as a whole doesn’t in fact have anything to do with the product on offer. Instead, it is a case of delivering a different method by which to browse and purchase large ranges of sex toys, while feeling 100% confident and free from the gaze of prying eyes while doing so.

As opposed to what were at one point glorified vending machines where a person would scuttle in, pick up the gadget they were looking for, pay up and summarily scuttle out of the door again, things really couldn’t be more different. Online sex stores have been set up to offer comprehensive services that go far beyond the products themselves, offering detailed advice, descriptions, guidance for newcomers and the answers to plenty of common questions.

Or in other words, a package that has the potential to remove all of the stigma from both the buying and the selling process, which by rights could open the eyes of millions across the country to what they have been missing out on and were previously afraid to get into.

Of course, it might be a while before this new liberal approach to sex retail hits the mainstream and people are just as happy to use physical sex chops with the same confidence as online stores, but it’s certainly a step in the right direction.

By Kath Roberts

Kath Roberts considers herself to be something of an adult sex shop expert having worked for dozens and is now taking her mission to transform attitudes across Australia to the web.

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Categories: Shopping

SHE AfterCare: AfterShave Oil

July 1st, 2013

Natural Intimate AfterShave Oil

Natural Intimate AfterShave Oil

This product has been discontinued.

It’s summer. I’m shaving my legs and thighs and bikini area frequently because I have to wear shorts. Or nothing at all. But shorts when I leave the house. I walk everywhere, too. You need to know that this results in some awful after-shaving rash. It’s not razor burn, nor do I have ingrowns most of the time. The sensitive skin on my inner thighs just can’t deal with the friction and chafing caused by the heat and movement. I know I’m not alone with this.

At first, I thought that a product like shaving cream alone would help. It does help, but not nearly enough. So, I need a product to use after shaving, too. In the past, I’ve used products from the drug stores. I’ve sprayed myself with Coochy Aftershave spray, but it just wasn’t enough. It was a thin layer that seemed like it existed to provide relief after the pain. What the hell is the point in that? I need something to prevent the rash and discomfort in addition to soothing it.

This AfterShave oil is it. Now, this line of product is created by Sexual Health Enthusiasts, which also makes Afterglow wipes. There are four products in the lineup, including a feminine wash and another that I’ll review shortly. Unfortunately, the markup at $20 seems high. However, it is the best product I’ve used for my sensitive inner thighs after shaving. Period. If you don’t experience the irritation that’s so bad you can’t sleep, this isn’t something you need. It’s something I might club you over the head with a stainless steel dildo for, though.

Use is as simple as spraying on after I shave. After a fresh shave, I might spray twice in a day. The instructions say to rub it in but since rubbing is part of my problem, I only rub it in if I’m using the aftershave oil on other places, but my thighs will do the rubbing in right for me. The base of this is silicone, so it’s pretty much lube for your shaved skin. IF you don’t rub it in, it’s going to feel heavy and wet. However, this is actually ideal for me. You might consider it before going for a walk or a run or anything where friction is an issue. I can’t help but wonder if silicone-based lube would work in a similar fashion.

I usually spray twice on each thigh. I’ve had this bottle about a week and made a little dent, but I’ll use it much less frequently when it cools down and I can slip back into jeans. Plus, I only use it daily for the next two days or so after a shave. If you have to shave less frequently, the 4-ounce bottle will definitely last you longer. I still think it’s worth it.

This spray oil has an abundance of ingredients that also sooth and soften. The ingredients list is really much longer than your typical silicone lube:

Isopropyl Myristate

  • Cyclomethicone
  • Dimethicone
  • Argania Spinosa Kernel Oil
  • Chamomile Oil
  • Salicylic Acid
  • Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract
  • Mineral Oil
  • Meadowfoam Seed Oil
  • Crambe Abyssinica Seed Oil
  • Vitamin E
  • Retyinyl Palmitate
  • Squalane
  • Bergamot Fruit Oil
  • Rosemary Leaf Oil
  • Orange Peel Oil
  • Phenoxyethanol

All in all, the list is pretty natural. Almost all of them are intended to moisturize or soothe your skin. You’ll notice Vitamin E alongside chamomile, for example. However, you’ll want to take notice if you’ve got sensitivities to mineral oil. Of note is Salicylic Acid, which you’ll usually find in acne products. This could be a boon to you if you break out in the places where you tend to shave.

Having used this for months, maybe years, I’ve found no negative effects from any of the ingredients. Nor does it stain my clothes. The scent is light and definitely plant-like. It’s not something sweet that I love, but I don’t mind it at all. It’s clean and fades quickly. It’s similar to the AfterTrace Odor Neutralizer. I cannot imagine anyone taking offense to this.

4 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

Touch your partner online with KIIROO

Dressed to a “T”

June 30th, 2013

A transgender woman has to go through a great deal of struggle and strife before she attains the ideal image for her body. All she wants is to feel comfortable in her body, which is rather difficult when you’ve been given a clunky male figure and hormones. With hormone therapy, surgery, and vocal training, one can truly become secure in their femininity. While these factors may seem like the worst part, they don’t take account of another pastime many of us take for granted. Shopping for clothes is something that comes easily to women who are a size “2” and who’ve probably never had an issue with their weight. However, for the vast majority of women, finding something that is comfortably flattering can often seem like a battle in futility. Every woman comes in a unique size and shape, and unfortunately, designers tend to make their best clothing for smaller frames that fit within the ideal image perpetuated by the media. To help the process for transgender women, some designers have actually begun to design pieces especially for a naturally male frame. Of course, the idea is to minimize masculine features while playing up feminine ones, which is a skill that cross-dressers have down to a science. Someone who cross dresses but is not transgender will find crossdresser clothes shopping at GlamourBoutique.com to be very exhilarating. Of course, it’s also an ideal shop for transgender women as well, but it’s important to note the difference between someone who feels they are a woman inherently, and a man who just likes putting on a costume.

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Categories: Everything Else

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.