While browsing Tumblr, I came across this fantastic image. At first, I thought it was an infographic. It’s actually an eBook created by a Tumblr user to teach you a thing or two. I haven’t read it cover to cover, and it might be a little elementary for some of us, but it’s put together pretty well, and spreading this information is important — important enough that I’ve shared it on my public Facebook!
Download the eBook here.
Fetish Fantasy Elite 10" Dildo
This is an archived review for a discontinued product.
Where do I start with this review other than to say it looks like a giant unicorn horn? And giant is the keyword here. It’s a whopping ten inches long. It’s a heavy hunk of silicone that you likely won’t use every time you’re having sex or going for a solo session, but it does have its uses. For example, the length makes it ideal for strapon play when angles and bodies mean short dildos just won’t cut it. The slight curve at the end could definitely be used for G-spot stimulation, and the shaft isn’t going to bend or give during intense thrusting.
It’s still a really large toy, however. It’s definitely meant to be used with a strap-on, and I’d recommend a nice, tight one to keep it from pulling down too much given the size and weight. And, in fact, Pipedream does offer a few strap-ons that you might test this with. The only one I currently own is the Sasha harness, which I didn’t much love. With a bit of pulling and prodding, this dildo does fit into the Sasha harness. Even though that harness is quite snug, the dildo hangs down. It’s not perky and erect like some people might prefer. I personally find it a little heavy for my tastes. I think this could easily be solved by hollowing out at least part of the dildo — this also gives you room to insert a bullet if you’d like.
As to whether this one will work with your harness, the Fetish Fantasy Elite 10″ Dildo will need a 1.75″ O-ring. At the base, the shaft goes in slightly, so it’s less wide than the widest point, which is just under 2″ in diameter. This makes this dildo pretty large. Of course, I can’t really imagine someone inserting the entire thing. Assuming you insert about six inches, the diameter at that point is over 1.75″ .
The thickness on this one gradually increases. The head starts out at just 1.27 inches; however, it reaches 1.5 inches pretty quickly. If you aren’t a size queen, then you could simply insert the tip for G-spot stimulation. It works well enough for me. Of course, then this really wouldn’t be the toy for you.
The silicone of this dildo does have a lot of drag, so water based lube is your friend. I’m not a big fan of toys that need quite so much lube. I also slightly prefer the velvety finished of some silicone toys. As for the wrapped design? It looks pretty and really lends a fantastic element to the appearance but isn’t something that sets me over the edge.
It collects lint like crazy, so a healthy soap and water rinse is necessary even before storage — unless you store it in a plastic bag. The silicone feels pretty firm and dense; although, I can slightly bend the head a few degrees to either side. However, the lack of G-spot curve means this might not be the best vaginal didlo. The same goes for you if you’re looking to use it for prostate stimulation.
One aspect that I do like is the base, which will work as a suction cup if you’re not using this with a strap-on. Of course, there are practicality issues to consider, but if you’re into mounting your toys, then the option is there.
So, if you love silicone and large dildos, if you want to feel powerful and really take your partner without a serious need for a curved toy, this might be up your alley. If you’re unsure for any reason, I’d pass it up.
Like most Fetish Fantasy products, this one comes with a silicone mask. And it’s a piece of crap. Silicone is really staticy and linty, so your hair will stick to it and pull. The mask runs really small. It pulls uncomfortable over my eyes even when it’s adjusted to the loosest setting. Plus, the shape doesn’t do much to block light or vision at all. I am still a proponent of my Kinklab leather blindfold and would recommend it a thousand times over this one.
Still, it’s a solid toy with a minimal seam and much better quality than other Pipedream products I’ve tried in the past. I would probably consider something a little smaller from them in the future.
I have been putting off writing this for some time. Perhaps I did not want to have to type it up. The previous post was so positive. Maybe if I didn’t write about it, I could still live in the moment of potential. Maybe it’s just been long enough that the details have grown fuzzy, and I worry that the story won’t be as effective, I’ve discussed it on Twitter, though, and it makes good content for the blog.
I met a guy, and while it wasn’t love at first site like it usually is, it seemed like there was potential. The fact that he wasn’t my physical ideal bothered me, though, but I didn’t want to be shallow. I figured I’d push on anyway. In hindsight, having to “push on” probably isn’t a good idea, but I’d hoped that attraction to his personality would attract me to his looks as well.
So we kept talking over the phone and via text, and I thought I was beginning to like him more, but I was always honest that our feelings for each other were on different levels. At times I wondered if I liked him or just the intimacy of the situation, and I think the latter is really true. I was confused, but I let him know that. I really wanted to like him. I wanted to love him. He was a nice guy.. at that point.. and it would have been nice. Easy. I’m so ready to have someone, you know?
And so we planned a date, an overnight date. We had been talking about sex, and I was also ready to end my dry spell. I think that part of me was hoping it would go well enough that we would have sex and perhaps nothing more. The more I write, the more I feel like a dick. But it wasn’t like this while it was happening. There was no clarity. There was only confusion, and I knew I needed that date to bring with it clarity. I just had hoped the clarity would be in his favor.
I guess you can tell that it wasn’t. That isn’t to say that it was all bad. We had fun, a lot of it. We joked and we cuddled and we held hands, but by the time we had sex, it was obvious to me that there were hangups I couldn’t get over. And some of those were his hangups. But let me back up.
The major point of clarity that I had wasn’t that I was attracted to him and wanted to be with him. No, I was comfortable enough to do relationship-like and physical things. It’s probably best as a FWB situation for me. Of course, this is not how he felt. I immediately regretted sleeping with him because I knew that his intentions were different and I didn’t want to lead him on.
Aside from the physical attraction, I disliked his lack of attention to oral hygiene. When you spend the night, you bring a toothbrush. Always. Okay dude? And you bring different clothes for the next day, always. It’s not like he didn’t have heads up. The fact that he even slept in his clothes only exemplified how uncomfortable he was in his own skin, and this left me feeling like I shouldn’t look at him. Considering that he practically followed me around with a raging hard-on, it was pretty difficult to finally get him out of his clothes.
The sex itself was interesting. Pair one nice penis with awkward mechanics due to his size and a complete lack of vocalization, and I had a hard time getting into it — or knowing when it was done.
Confidence is a turn on, but a lack of it is more than just a turn off. It’s a deal breaker. As a friend, I want to help people feel better about themselves, but I got the feeling that entering into a relationship with this guy would have been a lot of work, and I’m just not into that idea at this point in my life. Add to is that this guy is only somewhat employed and seems to lack motivation, and I just wasn’t feeling it. I talked to a few friends, most of whom told me to give it some time and get over my issues with his looks. I respected the advice, but I knew I couldn’t wait it out after he sent me this text about how much he missed me and couldn’t get me out of his head. It was poetic in a sappy way. It only further turned me off and sealed his fate.
So I told him where I stood, and he didn’t take it well. We weren’t dating. We’d only known each other for two weeks. There were no three little words. apparently, none of that mattered. He’d fallen. I was a liar. I’d led him on and he’d plummeted into some sort of depression because he would never find the woman for him. On the one hand, I understand he’s upset. On the other hand, it was only two weeks.
Two fucking weeks.
There’s no need to be so emo about it. If I’d known how emotionally immature he was, I think I would have ran far away from the very first.
The Facebook activity is passive aggressive but not directed at me. However, even after saying that we should take time to mend our wounds, he doesn’t get the concept of space. He was texting me every day, and two or three times he stopped to make grand gestures, or what I am sure are grand gestures on his part about how I never gave us a chance, lied or hurt him. In one text, he claimed that he thought he was just what I needed but I was afraid of that.
I am not afraid. I am just not interested, especially after that. Time and again I’ve told him to shut his mouth if he wants to remain friends, but he’s failed to do so. For the time being, he’s blocked.
I totally spazzed out and forgot to let y’all know who won the Tracey Cox glass dildo. Congrats go out to Candace!
Thanks for entering, guys!
And I want to get it all out. There’s so much to say.
I went to a party and met a good friend of a good friend. We hit it off. We talked for hours. It was fun. We barely slept, cuddled a little and talked some more. I was a little thrown off because I hadn’t expected to meet anyone or have a fantastic conversation or cuddle with anyone, but I went with it because I was drinking and you only live once, right? I guess it’s of note that I wasn’t immediately, undeniably attracted to this guy.
But we kept on talking through text and phone calls, which are especially fun and sexy. The attraction grew. We’ve been able to be comfortable and honest with one another, so whatever may be happening is off to a fantastic start.
But — and I have no idea how big of a “but” this is — he is way more into me than I am. He’s already asked me to be his girlfriend. I think, if given the opportunity, he’d say “I love you” a million times. I like him enough to see potential but I am not as sure about him as he is about me.. all the time. At times, I feel much more sure, which has led to what I think are mixed signals.
It’s weird for me. I’m always the one who feels more and more quickly. At this point, I’m usually having to tell myself that I can’t possible be in love. Stop it, Adriana. With him, I feel like I am trying to convince myself that I feel more than I do. I don’t know if I am trying to catch up or if I’m just trying to make it work, period. He’s sweet. He’d be loyal and respectful. He would be a fantastic partner. That I can see already, and if he likes me this much, I don’t have to be single anymore.
Is it the pull of a relationship that gets to me more than the pull of him? Is it flirting and teasing more than who’s on the other end? Am I just asking too damned many questions? (Hint: yes!)
I mean, what’s the problem? I met someone. He likes me. I like him enough to see where it goes. What the fuck is my problem?
I did a “Best of” last year. It really covered more than a single year, but I wanted to continue the trend into 2012. 2012 hasn’t seen as many reviews as other years. My love life also didn’t pick up until about a week ago, so that’s okay. Unfortunately, some really cool reviews won’t come until after the first of the year, but that’s also okay. If you didn’t notice, the world didn’t end, which means there is a 2013 coming to an Earth near you. I think it will be pretty good.
As for 2012, I’ve seen worse. Some of the items on this list were revamps of toys I’d already liked. In many ways, this felt a little uninspired. A good toy probably isn’t going to get worse. This is how I felt about the Lelo Mona 2. However, the G4 Big Boss was larger than life in a lot of ways. I actually haven’t used it since I moved, but I know how I’ll fell when I do:
By the time I got anything inserted, I felt like I’d used an entire bottle of lube. It was only like 1/4 but, you know, I was all sorts of slippery. This was a freakin’ masturbation adventure, and who doesn’t like adventures?! The countoured head of this and a little lube and my clit is, like, the best adventure I’ve ever been on.
On the other hand, some toys really surprised me. I mean, the Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator? It’s by a company that most people would write off. It doesn’t seem particularly awesome when you look at it, but I liked it enough to say “The first setting is lackluster so I turned it up a few times and found the sweet spot that make me squirt and squirt and squirt. It took me by surprise.” Babeland has dropped the price $20, too, which means I recommend the Midnight Collection vibe that much more.
I also gushed — pun intended — about the 24K Double Pleasure. It’s a gorgeous dildo. It feels nice. It photographs well. I would ask it to marry me if it had cuddly arms.
I reviewed a variety of bath and body products on of Sex and Love. I don’t know if y’all really like them, but I do, so you just have to put up with them, okay? I tried a whole bunch of the Pink Cupcake scented products from Classic Erotica, but it was the body mist that really stood out. In fact, I’ve been trying to get other stores to carry Wanna Be Sexy Flirty Body Mist, but they just won’t listen. Their loss, I guess?
I didn’t do as much erotic reading this year, but I was really impressed with one of the volumes that make it on my shelf: Red Velvet and Absinthe. This book has really set the standard as to what I want to see in my clit lit: sex, creativity, unusual settings, paranormal activity. It made me write werewolf erotica. Can you give it a higher recommendation that that? It wasn’t the only book I liked, though. “Crazy Little Thing” might not get you off, but it sure will open your eyes.
Not everything that I tried was on of Sex and Love, however. I recently posted about the strongest vibe I’ve ever tried that doesn’t plug in — the Form 6 G3. After losing the cord to my Delight, I also bought a new one, and I fuckin’ love it:
This it the type of toy that I really get into. I find myself moaning without thinking about it. The experience is whole-body and wholly primal. Sometimes I just want to get off quickly, and sometimes I want to forget about the world around me. The Delight provides the latter
I also finally found a product that helps with shaving issues. Unfortunately, it isn’t the end all and be all of shaving. I still managed to get a follicle infection. Ugh. But it’s nice, and seems to be lasting much better than my previous aftershave products.
Only two pieces of lingerie makes this list, but they’re nice enough that I don’t really care that everything else failed miserably. Coquette’s Holiday ruffled garter belt is feminine, comfortable and practical to wear. While Baci’s sizing is weird, the lace boyshort is super cute. I like the way it feels on me, and my shrinking ass means it fits better now than when I first got it. Can’t complain.
And now, the last for least. I fuckin’ love Cake Beauty, and I will forever buy Milk Made body wash and shower products until I die.
Like I said, I already know that 2013 will bring with it some positive reviews. I hope to try more new things. I am hoping new romance means more content for this blog. I’ve missed it. I miss all of you. I want to be better, but I’m not quite as happy with or ready to review any ol’ dildo that comes across my doorstep. That’s a good things in terms of my overall satisfaction and the quality of my time spent, but it means less blog fodder, too.
So, what were your favorite products of 2012? Which of my reviews did you like best? Do you have anything to say about anything else I did on this blog or could do in the future? Let me know in the comments!
Waterproof Power Stud Cliterrific
$22.99
from CEN
So, I never would have picked this toy by myself. I think the fact that CEN calls it a “dong” is a good indicator of that. It’s essentially a realistic dildo with a vibrator mechanism added in as an afterthought. It’s got veins, a head and some strange bumps that really evoke the image of a dude who shaved about a week ago and is kind of prickly. This isn’t starting off very favorable, is it? I
To be honest. I have nothing positive to say about this one. I’m far too tired to fake it with a vibrator, okay?
It might look realistic ish. If bright pink and pitch black ever are. And the size is about right with 6″ or so of insertable length. But it doesn’t feel realistic. The PVC — again, not my choice — is very plasticy. The product description calls it soft, but it’s soft in the way that plastic is. It’s nothing like silicone. It doesn’t feel good. The veins and head are lost on me because it’s just ick. In your hand, you can tap it with a finger and hear the hardness of the PVC . I don’t know how the hell this made it past the inspection process.
I mean, at least it doesn’t collect lint? I don’t know.
That’s not the only incredibly offensive thing about this toy. Y’all know that I like some power and depth to my vibrators. I shy away from any that take AAA batteries because of this. When I forget, I am always disappointed. The Layaspot is the only exception to this rule ever. With 2AAs, I figured I might not hate this.
Guess what?
I was wrong.
For starters, the control is on the side of the shaft. It points up when this is inserted with the ridiculous nubs upward. When you consider that a) the shaft doesn’t bend or flex and b) I’m not going to insert this down to the giant testicle base, they’re useless, but I digress.
The button on the side of the shaft gives you three levels of steady vibes and they all suck. Or blow. Or fucking rot. Pick one. They’re stupidly week. Like trying to get off by sticking your vulva toward the wind. I don’t even know what that means, but it would probably work better than this.
I gave up in thirty seconds. I’m sorry. This just isn’t a good toy at all.
Maybe you can use this waterproof vibe to clean your tub. I don’t know. Please don’t buy it. If you really want realistic, anything by Vixen is a better bet. While the BOB has the stupid nubs, it at least feels better. The Posh Teaser 2 is definitely stronger, prettier and ultimately more useful in my book, too, if you need something cheap!