Bbold Premium

December 3rd, 2012

I lusted over the Bbold for a while before I got it. I really enjoy the black and burgundy color scheme that Bswish tends to use. The shape of this vibrator also reminds me of the Vida Lussuria. I wanted to compare them side by side and take pictures, but I cannot figure out where my Lussuria went. I hope it wasn’t one of those that got tossed in the trash when my family and friends discovered sex toys during my move.

Annyway…

Bbold is a lazy S shape. The insertable portion works as a G-spot vibrator on one side and has a clit dimple on the other. The controls rest on the other side, where it curves again. Unlike Lussuria, this vibrator is made of silicone. It’s velvety but rigid. There’s a burgundy stripe that’s slightly more plush and runs around the profile of the toy. It’s attractive. It’s also completely smooth. There’s no ridges.

It’s just under 7.5″ long, but only about four of those niches are insertable. The g-spot head flattens and widens out to about 1.5″ wide but it’s about one inch “tall.” The majority of the shaft is much thinner, think .75″. The tapering is pretty gentle, but this toy is intended to stimulate one specific erogenous zone and not fill you up.

So, let’s go with the good.

It’s attractive. It’s got that angled G-spot head, and you can also use it externally. It’s super smooth and doesn’t have much drag. It’s waterproof, which means ease of use and versatility.

I effin’ love the buttons Bswish uses. It’s this bubbly shaped with two buttons — power and strength/mode adjuster. It lights up a super bright blue. There’s audible and tactile feedback. There’s no missing it in the dark. It’s simple. It works. It provides an instant off function when you need it.

This toy is USB rechargeable but it doesn’t plug into your computer — thank god. The included USB cable can be plugged into any USB outlet adapter. So anyone with an Android phone can just swap out the phone charging cable and plug the toy into it. It does use a proprietary port. I’d love if sex toy makers got on board with microUSB ports, but I’ll take what I can get.

The LED light lets you know when it’s charging, and this comes with a storage pouch. Bswish has had a hard time figuring out how it wants you to store toys. The first pouches were a thick, hoodie-like material. The company thinned them out. It’s now moved on to a satin sac with the company name on a tag. It’s stiff satin, but who cares? It does feel more luxurious than the old pouches, of course.

It comes charged!

On to the critique.

This toy just isn’t strong enough. There’s three steady levels of vibration. They remain about the same depth as you increase the level, which is good. They’re not super buzzy, but they could be deeper and stronger. The pulsation modes — of which there are three — aren’t fantastic for me, but the depth of the vibes does make two of them feel pretty intense. On my clit, however, I soon can’t feel them anymore. There’s an initial pleasure, then nothing. I need to be able to build up and get pressure, and this doesn’t happen with the Bbold.

For the power output, this thing seems pretty loud. I would worry about discretion if I was worried about being caught.

The clip dimple isn’t my thing. I don’t want to surround my clit. I want to press against the bone around it, with strength. The shape just doesn’t lend itself to how I like to masturbate. It’s also weird during masturbation. I tried the toy with that side against my G-spot and didn’t like it once bit. It completely missed where it needed to go. Turned around, the toy works much better, and the buttons wind up on top.

It’s a very simple experience. It made me squirt, but it wasn’t fantastic. A little forgettable, really.

The thing died pretty quickly when I got it. I hope this means it wasn’t fully charged, because I’d only used it once and briefly. A full charge has lasted me longer the second time around, so let’s hope that was a fluke.

The toy doesn’t remember your setting, but it does cycle through them. Once you get to the last pulse setting, it goes back to the lowest steady vibe. I don’t know if I like or dislike this, but it’s interesting.

Ultimately, this didn’t provide the premium experience. It felt very.. utilitarian. Got the job done but not any better than any other toy. USB charging is interesting, but it’s only practical in certain situations.

I really like Bswish as a company, probably because my first review toy came from them. I’ve come a long way since than and I still want to like them, but I’d love to see them think outside the box a little more. And add stronger motors. That’s a must.

However, Bswish asks less for the Bbold than other luxury vibrators, making this a good investment for someone who wants a toy that will last a long time and is attractive. At less than $75,

10 Comments


You do what, now?

December 1st, 2012

Every once in a while, I discover a new sex toy that makes me go “what the fuck?” if it’s really weird. Sometimes, I see something and wonder who is into that. Although I’ve tried my fair share of toys, I lack a penis, and I think the masturbation experience is a little different for men. Not only do women have the better selection of sex toys, but masturbation is sometimes more sensual, more prolonged, and more fantasy-oriented in our heads. At least, that’s it for me. I find trying to look at things to be a little distracting. It’s easier for me to visualize things with my eyes closed.

That’s why when I learned about Beaniebang Babes, I was more than a little curious. On the one hand, it seems like a lot of work and I am definitely lazy. On the other hand, I admire the attempt to capitalize on an already successful sex toy — the Fleshlight — and the porn industry to produce something that could possibly enhance masturbation. I understand why people want to make masturbation more sex-like, but I also don’t know if the intent itself isn’t misguided or if sticking a picture on a pornstar and beaniebanging “her” is the right way to go about it.

But, guys deserve a wider range of sex toys, too, so I can’t fault anyone who wants to know how to beaniebang. At least they’d be taking their desires — and penis — into their own hands, and I commend that.

Plus, I think naming sex toys after children’s toys is kinda lulzy.

Comment


Taste [Saw This on Tumblr]

November 28th, 2012

Taste

Comment


Posh Teaser 2

November 28th, 2012

I wasn’t super enamored with any of the Posh line of toys from California Exotics. It’s good that they’re silicone, and the price isn’t too bad, but they all looked a little generic. I’d rather have a super strong rechargeable, I guess. So I was surprised when I received the Teaser 2 in blue and I like I’d underestimated it. It’s less tiny and, well, dinky. It feels more significant in my hand. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to throw out my Mona or anything because, well, it’ll never happen. Others are still better at what I need them to do, but I think CEN is making some toys that are definitely wallet-friendly, good for beginners and worth keeping around for as long as they’ll last. The Posh Teaser 2 might be one of those.

THe Posh Teaser has an interesting textured. It’s a series of bulbs along the 5″ shaft. There’s some wavy swirls that are interesting to my eyes but, as is usually the case, don’t add much for my vagina. Still, the head is the biggest bulb of all and adds some G-spot action. The silicone does have a lot of drag, though, and it’s prone to collect lint. You’ll want to use a nice dose of water-based lube, even though the that is 1.5″ wide at its most. Really, the majority of the shaft is about 1″ long, which makes this good for people who don’t like to feel like a subway train is trying to squeeze through their lady parts. You’re welcome for the visual.

Another thing I like about this toy is the LED ring that surrounds the button on the base. I will never see it in use, but it pulsates with the setting, and I feel like I’m ready for anything? You don’t need a flashlight, guys, I’ve got my sex toy. I’m not familiar with seizures, but if you’re photosensitive, you won’t want to look at the base of the toy. There’s some serious flashing going on. And it’s bright. B-r-i-g-h-t.

Except for the head, which has some give when squeeze it and can bend just a few degrees, the silicone covers a rigid inner mechanism. But it’s plush all around and doesn’t feel hard, just ungiving beneath.

I’m also not shatteringly-disappointed with the strength of the vibrations. It’s only powered by 2 AAAs, but they’re putting out some decent vibrations considering the power source. Sure, they’re buzzy, but the highest setting is okay, and the pulsations feel more effective. However, CEN did something stupid, here. They put the highest setting first, so when you press the button, you wind up turning it down. Um, that makes no sense. M I Rite? Right. So once you’re all buttered up and want to increase the settings, you’re disappointed to find out that’s all there is. It’s not the first time a vibrator has worked like this but it should be the last, god damn it.

There are seven different pulsation settings to this toy, which is more than enough. They’re fast, slow and everything in between. I’m not really won over by pulsing, though, so this might be more your thing than it is mine. The Posh Teaser 2 remembers your setting when you turn it off, which might be good if you like those settings. Otherwise, you’d have to cycle through them all again.

For the power output, this is a little loud. I don’t think the vibe should be any louder than it is on its weakest setting, which says something. It’s not a chainsaw, but it’s definitely not “whisper quiet.” Unless, maybe, you know those people who whisper yell.

I don’t use my toys in the shower and have no tub, but CEN calls it waterproof. The battery cap twists on normally — none of that half twist BS — and there’s an O-ring permanently attached. I wouldn’t submerge it in the ocean, but you can test its waterproofiness all you want. It’s nothing I’d worry about in the shower, though, and it makes cleaning with soap and water easy. Unfortunately, you’ll need to watch the lint off of this before you use it if you don’t keep it in a Ziploc bag.

I’m not going to default to the Posh Teaser 2 over any of my other toys, but I’d pass mine on to someone in need, and I’d absolutely recommend it to anyone in need of a cheaper, G-spot dildo. That’s quite the endorsement.

CEN Sexpert

 

10 Comments


Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

Open Letter to Midwestern Singles

November 26th, 2012

Listen, you’re from Wisconsin — or Nebraska or Illinois or Wyoming, it doesn’t fuckin’ matter — and there’s a total of two large-ish cities in the state. If you head into your friendly neighborhood dating site and you say you’re only looking for people “near you,” then you’re likely to be disappointed. There is, quite literally, a 99% chance that you’ve met everyone in your podunk town. The ones you haven’t fucked, you’re related to. Let’s hope those two groups don’t cross. Anyway, this is precisely why you’re online, so if you don’t think you need to branch out, you’re sadly mistaken.

So, if a cute chick from slightly-more-than-five-miles away messages you, answer her. Okay?

Comment


Ready [Saw This on Tumblr]

November 21st, 2012

Ready

1 Comment


Touch your partner online with KIIROO

Lovehoney Galaxy Orgasmic Glass Dildo

November 20th, 2012

This is an archived review. Lovehoney no longer makes this glass dildo.

Do yourself a favor and read up on glass dildo safety before making any purchases.

Lovehoney Galaxy Orgasmic Glass Dildo


Sometimes, something about a toy just makes me go “meh.” It might be that it’s a different size or color in person. Maybe I’ve used something too similar in the past. It might be less strong. Whatever the case, I felt like this with the Galaxy Dildo. It looks swirled with smoke in the product images, but I was less impressed with it in person. Another notable difference is the “kink” or hook in the neck, right below the head.

So, the lines are stark black and not smokey in person. It’s kind of.. amateur. I don’t know. It stands out too much from the clear glass shaft. I’d like to see the lines blurred more. That would appeal to my sense of aesthetics a little more.

Anyway, the design also seemed disappointing because it’s just so thin and smooth. I generally prefer some sort of texture on my glass. However, this dildo did surprise me in use because of the little hook beneath the head. It actually proved perfect for stimulating my G-spot. I was able to come in something like six strokes. So even though I expected little from the dildo, and it didn’t look beautiful, it did do its job. The head adds to the sensation only in that the bulge is a good end to the hook. It provides leverage.

There’s nothing entirely fantastic about the specs of this one. It’s glass, so it’s heavy, is suitable for temperature play and doesn’t take much lube. Clean is just as easy, and the widened base makes it safe for anal play and possibly compatible with a harness. It’s also good for grasping. The diameter is just over 1″, and the dildo is perfectly round the entire length through save for the head. The bulbous head is less than 1.5″ wide, which makes this a good choice for anyone who doesn’t like giant toys. I was barely warmed up and didn’t need a whole lot of lube. I love that about glass. Of course, as glass, this dildo is less forgiving and feels a little larger than softer toys.

Some might enjoy the contoured head for clitoral stimulation. That’s not really my thing. I’m sure many people will find the dildo to be more attractive than I do, too.

Lovehoney packages this with a storage pouch made of velour. It cinches closed but it’s barely longer than the 7.25″ dildo. I would really like to see another half of inch in length for the pouch to be ideal. The velour is thicker than satin, but it’s not like an Otterbox case for your dildo.

I feel like I should have more to say about this toy, but I don’t. It’s simple. No frills. You can heat it up or cool it down, but I never do. I feel like it might be just a bit overpriced, to be honest. I’ve used cheaper glass toys that looked as nice as they worked, but maybe I’m too obsessed with looks. I mean, I am the chick whose Layaspot just died and will only consider a replacement in the right colors.

3 Comments