A Day at the Clinic

May 27th, 2010

I got tested the other day, for a couple of STDs. It was my first time; although, in hindsight, it shouldn’t have been. I called up the local Planned Parenthood and scheduled myself an appointment for testing and a Pap smear as my last was long overdue. PP is pretty well know; although, I’d never been to one of their clinics before. My last few paps and my HPV issues were taken care of at military hospitals and while I still have that option, I’ve let my military ID expire because of the impending divorce and I simply hate the medical setup in this city. I would rather die than have to deal with it. No exaggeration.

So I headed in to my 4 o’clock appointment, signed in and watched The People’s Court of something for over and hour while I waited. The room was small, fall and less impressive than I am used to. Even though the facility itself could have used some homey touches, everyone I talked with was incredibly friendly and professional. I went through the usual questions (are you being abused? do you check for breast lumps?) as well as some new procedures (the tech stabbed me in finger to test for iron and I peed in a cup immediately, even when they forgot I wanted testing). I guess they probably have the routine down to an art but some of the things just seemed a bit unnecessary.

When I did remind the tech that I wanted testing, nothing rude was said. No scathing glares or uncomfortable silence like I’ve read in so many other accounts.

I would have liked a proper gown, though. All I got was the flimsy paper sheet but the actual pap and chest test was over and done with soon enough that it doesn’t much matter. Interestingly enough, this is the first pap I’ve had since my G-spot awakened and I could definitely feel the speculum pressing against my G-spot and I was worried about squirting all over the nurse practitioner–but I didn’t!

It’s always frustrating when you wait over an hour for an appointment which takes less than 30 minutes but I didn’t have to wait in between the prep and actual pap, which I appreciate. My experience was ultimately unremarkable.

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Categories: Everything Else

Couture Collection Inspire Wand Vibrator

May 24th, 2010

Couture Collection™- inspire

Couture Collection™- inspire
$94.49 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

Thus far, I’ve tried 4 or 5 different pieces from the Couture Collection by California Exotic Novelties, and they have all been pretty weak, if not somewhat attractive in design. The Inspire, however, is not pretty weak. Hell, it’s not even “pretty strong.” It is, by far, the strongest toy I own. In fact, it may well be too strong for me.

Inspire is the third wand-style massager I own, after the Miracle Massager and Ideal (which I found to be less than). It’s both stronger and smaller than the Miracle Massager, a vibrator I’ve come to enjoy for its broad head and its strong vibrations. The head of the Inspire is much smaller and rounded, which means I have to use the toy differently despite its overall genre.

Inspire is also kinda weird in that it’s an electric vibe, but you can unplug the adapter from the port on the toy. Initially, I thought this meant that it’s rechargeable, but it’s not. Some people like being able to swap power sources or whatever, but this is just kind of confusing to me.

Speaking of confusion, so was the control button, initially. There is a single button. One click turns it on. If you want to increase the setting, you have to press and hold it, but a quick click turns off the power. I am constantly turning it off when I want more power or the opposite. It’s supposed to be a little intuitive, but it will take some adjustment, especially because it’s so uncommon. If all vibrators used similar controls, this this would probably be great (alas, most controls suck!).

Anyway, I find myself really only using the lower settings because it’s hard for me to take a lot of power directly, and Inspire’s vibrations are much more pinpoint than those of the Miracle Massager. The spherical head of the Inspire has a diameter of 1.59″, definitely smaller than most wand massagers. It’s shorter, too, about 7.5″ in total length.

Another interesting aspect of the design is that the head of the Inspire massager is covered 2/3 of the way by a silicone cap. The cap offers a bit of give, but the head beneath it is made of hard plastic. You can take this off to clean it and slip it back on when you’re done. The cap will “gap” around the head if it’s not correctly aligned, however. Just turn it until it sits smoothly. It isn’t seamless, though. Like all silicone, be careful with silicone-based lubes and prepare for lint.

The head of the Inspire is on a flexible neck. I suppose there’s a spring beneath the accordion-folded plastic (maybe silicone?) that coats the neck. It offers a nice range of flexibility; however, liquids can easily find themselves between the folds of the material, and it seems a bitch to clean.

I mentioned before that I use this a little differently than the Miracle Massager because of its size and shape. I find myself focusing on the leg of my clitoral organ and moving it in quick back-and-forth movements. I’ve done this with other toys, like the Lily, but it’s definitely easier to hold the Inspire because it has a bigger (but not huge) handle. There’s also a slight curve to it, but I’m not sure if I’d really call it ergonomic. It doesn’t seem to help or hinder my use.

I also mentioned used the Inspire on lower settings because the vibrations are so shaky, they’re almost violent on higher settings. Surprisingly, the Inspire isn’t nearly as loud as you might think. The lower settings are quiet enough to use with the door closed, maybe some white noise. You might have to ensure someone in the same house is pretty distracted with the higher settings, though.

I’m lucky enough to have my bed a few feet from the wall, so the cord on the Inspire is more than adequate. It’s a bit over 8′ long, actually and thicker than most chargers but thin enough that my cats haven’t tried chewing on it. Yuck. A red light glows on the handle when the Inspire is plugged in.

Ultimately, the Inspire gave me a few good orgasms. The kind that leaves you all sweaty, yet you still want to get off just one more time. Or maybe that’s just me. But I don’t think it will be my go-to toy because it’s not quite my style.

6 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

May 23rd, 2010

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

My first experience with pheromones was at a sex toy party at the last base we lived at. The company rep basically told us that because pheromones are registered in the nose but aren’t actually smells, we will think there is a smell and as the pheromones mix with your individual chemical makeup, that “smell” we think is there will be different for every person. So we dabbed some pheromones on our wrists and I “smelled” quite nice, thank you very much. But I forgot about the concept for a couple of years cause it wasn’t like I was lacking sex.

The idea of a his-and-hers type pheromone spray was attractive, though, as was the packaging. Pipedream did well with the black box (with silver details) contrasting with the bright blue and pink liquid. Unless you’re not very fond of hetero-normative implications, which the blue/pink dichotomy certainly suggests. Sorry. In the event that you didn’t notice the bright colours, the blue bottle has the “male” symbol and the pink has the “female” symbol.

So this narrow box houses a double-ended tube, like some lipgloss-type products. There is a magnetic flap on top, similar to Fun Factory toys that you can lift to see the product. The tubes themselves are clear glass, and the blue or pink liquid really looks awesome and kind of.. chemistry-ish. The silver band in the middle is the cap for both little spray bottles; you pull one off to use it. This means that you can’t separate the pair and still cap them both. It’s kind of a minor annoyance but something I couldn’t help but notice.

Spray bottles are pretty easy to use, right? So spray onto your pulse points (neck, wrists and some other place I forget) and let the product go to work. Except, it kind of smells like gross chemicals when you initially spray it. It fades, and then you cannot smell anything at all. I’d almost rather smell like chemicals, so I know it’s there.

Regardless, Pure Sex Pheromone Spray just doesn’t seem to work in practice. Only one time out of five or so seemed to elicit any response, and I’m willing to bet it was because I’m dead sexy or, at the very least, the circumstances surrounding it. That’s not a very impressive track record.

Honestly, I think it would help if this produced any sort of scent at all, so it would have the “I’m so naughty, I’m wearing pheromones” thing going for it. I know products like these sometimes seem to work simply because of the power suggestion, but Pure Sex Pheromone Spray didn’t even offer me that.

Much to do about nothing, I suppose. I recommend you buy a nice perfume or cologne, instead.

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Categories: Non-Sex Toys, Reviews

You know the joke..

May 22nd, 2010

I am getting over my period, for the third time in three months. Most women between the ages of 13 and 60 or so wouldn’t think twice about this but since getting my IUD, I haven’t consistently gotten my period for years. It was a bit surprising to get it 2 months in a row but the third? Wow!

I’m a little annoyed. I mean, it’s natural and healthy but it’s annoying and I feel like I’m losing time. I’d rather not be crampy or bleeding or ruining panties or too uncomfortable to masturbate.

It also reminds me that I don’t have a family and my biological clock has been ticking, oddly enough, for the last 3 months or so. Truth be told, I’m not sure if it’s because my brain is sending out some sort of hormone.. or if maybe the growing up I’ve been forced to do and my desire for a greater purpose in life (IE, a family) has awakened my biological clock.

But while my period only lasts one week a month, this ticking shows no signs of abating.

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Categories: Everything Else

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Bunny Tickler

May 17th, 2010

Bunny Tickler Vibrator

Bunny Tickler Vibrator
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I was sort of surprised that the Bunny Tickler got me off at all. I mean, it’s so small (about the size of a pocket rocket but thinner). It’s only one speed, and I don’t traditionally fare well with toys made of little shapes. When I use regular rabbit vibes, it’s always the body of the rabbit/bullet that I try to get against my clit, instead of the ears. But the Bunny Tickler is cute, like all the bright coloured vibes in the Tickler Line, and I thought it might work for G-spot stimulation cause mine is so shallow and easily stimulated.

Let’s get that out of the way. The ears on the Bunny Tickler can reach my G-spot (they’re about an inch long or so) but do not provide firm enough pressure to do much of anything. However, the silicone of this vibe–which isn’t quite shiny nor velvety–offers some firmness so it doesn’t flutter freely like jelly rabbits. I imagine many people would pick this specific vibe because they want that feature but they would be out of luck.

Still, you can separate the ears enough to surround your clit, and this is an interesting sensation. It’s not how I got off, however. I found myself using the top of the bunny’s nose more because I like broader surfaces. Sometimes, the ears simply wound up in the way, and, for whatever reason, I had a hard time telling exactly where they were situated, too, but maybe I’m just not super sensitive.

And I did get off, more than once, with the Bunny Tickler once I found a good spot. I used it in a similar manner to how I used Lelo’s Lily, except the Tickler is easier on my hand because it has a short handle. But I probably wouldn’t reach for the Bunny Tickler over most other toys.

That’s because I have a lot of clitoral vibes which have adjustable settings. The Bunny Tickler, which is powered by one N battery (which is included), only has one setting. It’s more high-pitched than it is rumbly, although it’s not ridiculously weak. However, it’s extremely easy for the initial tingle of the vibrator to fade, leaving my body wondering, “What’s next?”

The Bunny Tickler is easy to use, if not a bit fickler. There’s a single push button on the end. It’s not too hard nor too difficult to push. I have noticed that the battery cap, which screws on, needs to be at exactly the precise position for the Bunny Tickler to work, though. That’s a tad annoying.

But once it’s screwed on, the cap is secure, and you can take this rabbit into the shower or tub, with you. I’m not a big bath-time masturbater, but I appreciate toys that are at least splashproof for cleaning. Because the Bunny Tickler is small and, coincidentally, pretty quiet (a light buzz), it might be something you could use in the shower if you share an apartment. However, you may not have great luck with water-based lube in the shower. I’d also like to add that the specific type of silicone used in the Bunny Tickler doesn’t seem to collect as much lint as usual.

I guess this is a short post for a short toy. d= The Bunny Tickler is cute and functional, although not ground breaking of multi-function. It’s probably good for beginners or those who don’t need something super powerful. Some folks will find it does nothing more than.. tickle.

1 Comment

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Why I do This

May 16th, 2010

And by this I mean: blogging, reviewing, chatting, posts on forums, Tweeting and otherwise participating in this corner of the blogosphere.

At first, it was purely about getting free toys and maybe a little about proving how awesome I am. I’m competitive like that. Yes, I have gotten a lot of free toys. So a quick thank you to various manufacturers and retailers for sending me free shit. I appreciate it more than you know.

But I’m not as greedy anymore. I’ve gotten enough stuff that it takes a little more for something to catch my eye, or I’m better at gauging what will or will not work for me. I’ve also been able to buy or swap for a lot of toys, and there are very few things I really want that I haven’t gotten. In the past few months, I acquired both the Lelo Ina and Mona, Fun Factory Delight, and a Liberator Throe.

Of course, that’s not the only reason I’m here. Another selfish reason for doing all of this is simply to get to know myself better. To explore my sexuality, to experience pleasure. I’ve done a great deal of this with the help of my husband, too.

But not all my reasons are selfish. I’ve learned a lot from being apart of this all. I thought I knew a lot but I didn’t. Maybe I knew more than some people and I certainly know more than some people now but the more I learn, the more I realize how much there is to learn, how much I really don’t know. The more I know, however, the more I feel like maybe there’s an activist inside me.

And I hope, although maybe it’s a silly hope, I give something to others. Like maybe I’m helping to spread knowledge or prevent a bad purchase.

I have to admit, I love the praise, the recognition. I like the sheer amount of stuff I’ve written. I like looking at my hits and visitors and pagerank. I like it when someone mentions how I’m a tough reviewer and this is why she trusts my word. That kinda thing. I like praise and recognition. A lot.

I’m here because I’m made some awesome friends and spent countless nights laughing out loud in chat as we discuss sex toys, PR mistakes, crappy companies and good ones. As we joke about who belongs to whom and who is a bigger slut and just what that word means anyway.

I guess I’m here more for selfish reasons than not but here I am and I’ll probably be sticking around a while. You see, you people keep me sane. And busy, And smiling. Maybe you’re the reason I do this.

4 Comments

Categories: Everything Else, internet

Corset Vibe

May 13th, 2010

Corset Vibrator

Corset Vibrator
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product. 

Like Juliettia, I wanted the Corset Vibrator mostly because of looks. I like corsets, and I like vibrators, and I was thrilled when Babeland offered it up for review again (they ran out of stock last time).

But something about the Corset vibe is just a little confusing, and I’m not talking about the name change. The package actually calls it the Girdle Vibe, and I suspect that makes sense because Touche is a European country. I get that Babeland would change the name because the idea of a girdle is just not sexy to Americans but, no, something else is more confusing.

It started with the batteries. Touche provided 2AAs, which is pretty neat. I unscrewed the battery cap at the end and slid them in, and then I spent about 5 minutes trying to get the damned cap back on. Now, I’ve talked to someone else who did not have that problem, but I actually thought there was some defect issue with the threading on either the cap or the vibe itself. The inside of the cap doesn’t have continuous threading and it can be a bit tricky to get it lined up. However, I have gotten better at it.

So I got the cap on and stared at this beast. I mean the Corset Vibe is just much bigger than I expected. I figured the size would be similar to the Evolved Seduction, which also has a similar shape, but I was wrong. It’s almost 8.5″ long, and its girth varies between 4 3/16″ and 5 5/8.” Definitely not something I’d suggest for beginners.

The design itself mimics a corset with the center of the shaft being the narrowest while the vibrator gradually expands toward either end. The insertable end also tapers to a slight point. There’s also a pattern embossed/engraved into the silicone, on the back of the vibrator. It is styled like the ribbons on the back of a corset–hence the name–so the overall design really works well.

The size genuinely surprised me but it wasn’t confusing. It came when I went to turn on the Corset vibe but nothing happened. So I switched batteries. Nothing. I switched back. Eventually, I picked up the manual (actually, there are 2, and there are instructions in like a dozen languages) or something, and I realized you have to press the button for several seconds before it turns on. It’s not a big deal now that I know it, but it was annoying having to figure it out and I know others had the same problem. I do slightly prefer vibes that turn on faster.

So I got it on, but I wasn’t sure if it was working. Yes, my confusion continued. You see, the Corset Vibe didn’t seem to go on to a steady vibration setting like vibrators usually do. I played around with the settings, but it seems like Touche really missed the mark. After some experimenting, I have come to realize that the first three settings are supposed to be steady vibration, but the “low” and “medium” modes are extremely rumbly, almost spastic, which makes them seem like they maybe aren’t steady. The highest mode of steady vibration is normal, however. These settings are followed by a pulsation and escalation setting (1 each).

The whole rumbly vibration thing makes it a little hard to gauge the strength of the Corset Vibe. The first 2 settings feel pretty strong but almost like they’re not performing how they should be. In comparison, the highest steady setting is a bit weak and I didn’t particularly care for the escalation mode.

The noise output from the Corset Vibe is a bit much. It’s not going to wake the neighbours or anything, but I think similar vibes are a bit quieter. The Corset Vibe is getting up there a bit, like some rabbit vibes

So once my confusion was cleared up, I spent a bit of time with the Corset Vibe but I wasn’t blown away. The tapered head felt a bit pointy, and although I could bend the shaft a bit, the shape didn’t do a whole lot for me. While the vibrations are centered right in the head, the Corset Vibe is long enough that it wants to slide right past my G-spot.

While I could feel the texture provided by the corset detailing; I didn’t like it or not like it. I suppose if you use a bit more lube (water-based, only) than usual, you can minimize it if you don’. Be prepared to spend extra time cleaning up any lubes or liquids, however. The ribbon design provides a ton of nooks and crannies for gunk.

But it is pretty. If you’re a collector, the corset vibe will surely look pretty on a shelf or in your hand. It’s just a bit more novel than practical and I’m not sure that this is enough of a reason for me to have to struggle with all the quirks.

6 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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