5 Lubes I Totally Recommend

July 22nd, 2013

Lube is lube, you know? Most people pick something from the pharmacy and run with it, no matter how awful it was. I used to be one of those people. I know. What I have discovered as a sex toy reviewer and blogger is this: I do not like writing lube reviews. Some of them are terrible. Many of them are just a little bit different from the next one. Most of them do the job without complaint. Few stand out. Even trying to make this list in my head was a little difficult because lubes tend to blend together in my memory. However, a few lubes have stood out from the bunch.

  1. System Jo Premium Women Lubricant
    The only silicone-based lube on this list is by System Jo. I’ve liked several of their products, but this one stands out. Silicone lube feels, to me, like wearing a plastic bag. It’s how a condom feels to men. I hate it. Add in incompatibility with so many of my toys and the general thinness, and it’s out. System Jo Premium is thicker than most silicone lubes, and it’ll last you forever if using for penetrative sex. It can also double as a massage glide.
  2. sliquid lube cubeWet Naturals Beautifully Bare
    The thing about lubes is that they’re not made from my body, and I can feel the difference. I hate it, to be perfect honest. So when I tried this lube from a company that I didn’t think was necessarily spectacular, I was surprised to note that it does feel like more of my own lubrication, at least in the water-based formula. Just don’t confuse the silicone lube and ruin your favorite VixSkin toy, guys.
  3. Maximus
    This is the go-to lube for anal lovers. It’s thick and long lasting. It’s compatible with silicone toys. Unlike most water-based lubes, it isn’t sticky. Once I tried it, I understood why everyone loved it.
  4. Frolic
    While I enjoy thicker lubes, I don’t want them to be solid. They need to come easily out of the bottle. I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m forcing a solid into my vagina. I’ve had that exact experience, so don’t think that I am exaggerating in the least. Frolic has a handy pump bottle that has a cover to lock it. It’s thick enough to stay in place but thin enough to spread, and it’s affordable.
  5. Sliquid Naturals Lube Cube
    Sliquid’s Lube Cube isn’t one lube, but it’s this awesome sampler pack that lets you try various flavors and formulas. The sweet flavors are the best I’ve ever tasted, and most people love Sliquid lube. The company actually makes four different cube options, but I reviews Sliquid Naturals.

What are your favorite lubes for activities like toy play? Vaginal and anal sex? Massage? Let us know in the comments!

 

 

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Categories: Articles

2012: Best Of

December 30th, 2012

I did a “Best of” last year. It really covered more than a single year, but I wanted to continue the trend into 2012. 2012 hasn’t seen as many reviews as other years. My love life also didn’t pick up until about a week ago, so that’s okay. Unfortunately, some really cool reviews won’t come until after the first of the year, but that’s also okay. If you didn’t notice, the world didn’t end, which means there is a 2013 coming to an Earth near you. I think it will be pretty good.

As for 2012, I’ve seen worse. Some of the items on this list were revamps of toys I’d already liked. In many ways, this felt a little uninspired. A good toy probably isn’t going to get worse. This is how I felt about the Lelo Mona 2. However,  the G4 Big Boss was larger than life in a lot of ways. I actually haven’t used it since I moved, but I know how I’ll fell when I do:

By the time I got anything inserted, I felt like I’d used an entire bottle of lube. It was only like 1/4 but, you know, I was all sorts of slippery. This was a freakin’ masturbation adventure, and who doesn’t like adventures?! The countoured head of this and a little lube and my clit is, like, the best adventure I’ve ever been on.

Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position

On the other hand, some toys really surprised me. I mean, the Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator? It’s by a company that most people would write off. It doesn’t seem particularly awesome when you look at it, but I liked it enough to say “The first setting is lackluster so I turned it up a few times and found the sweet spot that make me squirt and squirt and squirt. It took me by surprise.” Babeland has dropped the price $20, too, which means I recommend the Midnight Collection vibe that much more.

I also gushed — pun intended — about the 24K Double Pleasure. It’s a gorgeous dildo. It feels nice. It photographs well. I would ask it to marry me if it had cuddly arms.

I reviewed a variety of bath and body products on of Sex and Love. I don’t know if y’all really like them, but I do, so you just have to put up with them, okay? I tried a whole bunch of the Pink Cupcake scented products from Classic Erotica, but it was the body mist that really stood out. In fact, I’ve been trying to get other stores to carry Wanna Be Sexy Flirty Body Mist, but they just won’t listen. Their loss, I guess?

Red Velvet and AbsintheI didn’t do as much erotic reading this year, but I was really impressed with one of the volumes that make it on my shelf: Red Velvet and Absinthe. This book has really set the standard as to what I want to see in my clit lit: sex, creativity, unusual settings, paranormal activity. It made me write werewolf erotica. Can you give it a higher recommendation that that? It wasn’t the only book I liked, though. “Crazy Little Thing” might not get you off, but it sure will open your eyes.

Not everything that I tried was on of Sex and Love, however. I recently posted about the strongest vibe I’ve ever tried that doesn’t plug in — the Form 6 G3.  After losing the cord to my Delight, I also bought a new one, and I fuckin’ love it:

This it the type of toy that I really get into. I find myself moaning without thinking about it. The experience is whole-body and wholly primal. Sometimes I just want to get off quickly, and sometimes I want to forget about the world around me. The Delight provides the latter

milk made nourishing bath & shower bubblesI also finally found a product that helps with shaving issues. Unfortunately, it isn’t the end all and be all of shaving. I still managed to get a follicle infection. Ugh. But it’s nice, and seems to be lasting much better than my previous aftershave products.

Only two pieces of lingerie makes this list, but they’re nice enough that I don’t really care that everything else failed miserably.  Coquette’s Holiday ruffled garter belt  is feminine, comfortable and practical to wear. While Baci’s sizing is weird, the lace boyshort is super cute. I like the way it feels on me, and my shrinking ass means it fits better now than when I first got it. Can’t complain.

And now, the last for least. I fuckin’ love Cake Beauty, and I will forever buy Milk Made body wash and shower products until I die.

Like I said, I already know that 2013 will bring with it some positive reviews. I hope to try more new things. I am hoping new romance means more content for this blog. I’ve missed it. I miss all of you. I want to be better, but I’m not quite as happy with or ready to review any ol’ dildo that comes across my doorstep. That’s a good things in terms of my overall satisfaction and the quality of my time spent, but it means less blog fodder, too.

So, what were your favorite products of 2012? Which of my reviews did you like best? Do you have anything to say about anything else I did on this blog or could do in the future? Let me know in the comments!

6 Comments

Categories: Articles, Reviews

5 Weird Things People Do During Sex

December 19th, 2012

This post has been in the works for a while. I kept getting distracted, which is kind of funny, because that’s something you shouldn’t do during sex. I guess it’s okay for bloggers to be weird. At best, I can make you uncomfortable and you’ll leave. On the other hand, you can’t sneak out unnoticed when you’re in the middle of sex and your partner does one of these things.

  1. Announce Orgasm
    As soon as I mentioned this one to a friend, she laughed because we — that’s us women — have all been there. So many men have to announce “I’m cumming” right before they do. Do they think maybe we won’t notice? Or they should get a cookie? I don’t know, man. I already spread my legs. What more do you want?
  2. Work on the To-Do List
    Okay, this isn’t weird per se, unless you’re one of those people who always gets into sex 100%. It’s actually pretty common for men and women to think about what needs to get fixed, cleaned, bought and otherwise done in the coming days and weeks while in the middle of sex. Two birds, one stone, right?
  3. Count the Squares/Dots on the Ceiling
    I’ve never done this, thank God. I’ve always tried to at least enjoy having sex or to make it known that now isn’t the right time, but some people would rather have sex so their partners stop asking or some other reason. They grin and bear it. They count out invisible things or focus on the ceiling above them, memorizing tiles, spots, cracks and other “features.” I would never want to waste my time doing this, so it’s weird to me.
  4. Talk on the Phone
    Bitch, pay attention to the person who has his penis inside you or the dude who’s got your dick in his mouth. It’s common fucking courtesy. If you’re talking, texting or playing God damned angry birds, you can’t really be wanting sex at that moment. Do everyone in the room a favor and say “No” if you mean no. There will be other times to have sex. I promise. However, there are exceptions. If you’re foolin’ around just a little bit and get a phone call only to have your fiance start fucking you while on the phone to see if you can keep a straight, er, face, it’s pretty funny. Still weird, though.
  5. Give a Play By Play
    You know what? If you’re going to announce everything you’re doing in bed, I’d rather you talk on the phone. It’s bad enough if you tell me you’re going to orgasm, but that shouldn’t be a followup to every other thing you’ve done that night. Otherwise, I’m going to say “Growing annoyed with you now.”

So, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve done during sex? Guilty of anything on this list? Have you had a partner who’s done something that makes these things all look paltry? Sound off in the comments.

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Categories: Articles

The Rules

December 11th, 2012

I try not to have “rules” when it comes to dating. I want to find you attractive. I want to hold a conversation. We need to be able to laugh and you’ve got to have your shit together, which is an umbrella phrase that covers a lot of things:

  • You’re mentally and emotionally stable — I’m not your mommy. I won’t fix you.
  • You’re completely available. No married folks, sorry.
  • You can support yourself. There’s leeway if you’re living with your folks or temporarily unemployed, but if you need to date someone to make sure you have a place to live or don’t have a single possession or cent to your name, you’re out.

Really, I want this to be a functional relationships, and that’s what these guidelines add up to.  Of course, everything else is pretty much open, but certain things definitely mean that it’s more likely you’ll fit the criteria. For example, if you’ve got a similar sense of humor or we have overlapping interests, we’ll probably be able to hold a conversation. If you’re a hot geek type, then I’ll probably be attracted to you, so I gravitate toward the things that I know I already like, but that’s not a rule.

I don’t want to be one of those Jerry Seinfeld types, finding something tiny wrong with everyone and sending them away for silly reasons. I just expect a stable foundation, a strong connection.  This, I feel, is not too much to ask. Rationally, I know this is a good thing to look for. This isn’t a post about why the rational isn’t happening, though. That just happens to be semi-related.

No, this is about rules. I don’t care about superficial things about the job or car you have. How much money you make isn’t my business or something I care about. Imperfections can be overlooked.  Others have rules that I would find ridiculous however. They don’t care if you treat them well or are stable in any way as long as you have money. Some don’t mind being the third wheel if the sex is good. The list goes on, of course. Others have rules that I find absolutely ridiculous. But others have rules that, while they wouldn’t make sense to me, make sense to others.

There’s other types of rules, too. For example, some people wait a certain number of dates to have sex. Some have requirements for meeting someone’s parents, calling after a date or sex, dating multiple people at once and every other thing you can’t imagine.

The thing about rules that people fail to understand, however, is  that they don’t exist as a metric for finding potential matches. I’ve met plenty of people who more or less meet the requirements, but we just didn’t click. Really, I’m not so much looking for someone who will fit within the guidelines. The opposite is true. I want someone who will make me break all my rules. I want someone who makes me want to have sex the first night, skip out on planned dates, do crazy things and otherwise throw caution to the wind.

I don’t know if others are like this, but my rules don’t exist to weed out the wrong people. They’re there, instead, to help highlight the right person.

2 Comments

Categories: Articles, Dating

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How FeedBurner Outed Me, Twice

September 16th, 2012

A while back, I decided to burn my feed to give readers more ways to subscribe (email being the big one) and let me track those subscriptions more easily for giveaways. FeedBurner was the obvious solution, and I’d already used it with other blogs. I don’t personally subscribe to any feeds via email and few feeds at all. I check on Google Reader or my phone’s RSS app, but I prefer to stay up-to-date with blogs that I read by actually visiting them. I’m old school like so.

So when I burned the feed for of Sex and Love to to normal FeedBurner account, I thought nothing of it. I didn’t realize that you could actually see a link to my Google+ profile and that FeedBurner used my email address as the sender’s. One of my readers notified me. We joked a bit, and then I quickly set out to rectify the situation. Feedburner includes a handy option to permanently transfer ownership, so I did. I thought all was well and good.

I was wrong. I signed in to my normal Gmail, which I rarely use, to see a kind message from someone who enjoyed my reviews and followed them via FeedBurner. I knew something was wrong, but the actual copy of the blog post to which she was replying didn’t show my photo or email address at all. It took some Google-fu to figure out that, despite having switched ownership, to sender email had remained the same for my feed.

I headed back to FeedBurner once more, but couldn’t find the location to change this for the life of me. I was feeling frustrated, because FeedBurner’s navigation and layout is overly complex. There was also no location where I could preview exactly how email updates would look to my readers. I eventually found the solution (Publicize > Email > Communication Prefs) and changed my sender’s email. Now, all my email subscribers will see messages from Adriana @ of Sex and Love, like it should’ve been when I permanently switched ownership. That seems like something Google should do for you.

Regardless, I never expected this to be a problem. Judging from the reactions of my Twitter friends, neither did they. At least one person changed her information after talking with me.  Google has really been the bane of my existence when it comes to (trying to) blog anonymously. I don’t have much to lose, but others do.

The moral of the story is, ultimately, to avoid mixing any accounts or emails between your identities even if you think that there’s no way it could be a problem. Setup PayPal with additional email addresses. Use an address specifically for your sex blog/reviewing identity. Create separate instant messaging accounts. Sign up for Disqus twice. Anonymity, like freedom, requires you to plan for it.

5 Comments

Categories: Articles, internet

What Every Online Sex Toy Store Needs To Have

September 9th, 2012

I’m surprised I haven’t written an article like this in the past, but I feel qualified to write one. If you run a store, if you want to, if you work with a sex toy retailer, run social media for one or are otherwise associated, take heed.

New Additions

I always know that SheVibe will show me new arrivals and change product order!

Listen, I’ve been around the block a time or two, so I know what’s already out there. What I want to know, especially if I’ve been a loyal customer of yours, is what’s new. You need to let me organize your categories by date added, at the very least. What I really prefer, however, is a “recent additions” page, or something similar. Plus, this makes your website look updated, which it should be.

Social Media Prescence

Social media isn’t rocket science, but it does take time. With it, you can build relationships and bill yourself as personal, a face behind the company. As a consumer, I sometimes use social media to verify whether you’re a legitimate business. When you’re on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, you instantly have access to your followers, who are often doom scrolling, anyway. Tell us what’s new or highlight product features. Give us coupons on Twitter, and we’ll shop at your site. Tell us when something’s on sale, and we’ll love you forever.

A Review System

Now, if no sex toy store had a review system, I’d be okay. After all, that’s sort of why this website and my reviews exist. And plenty of people don’t use on-site review systems to get their reviews, or they supplement them with reviews from sites like mine.

Lovehoney’s reviews put helpful information right at your fingertips!

But if you put those reviews right on your site, you provide an extra reason for consumers to use your website. You provide a form of interaction that cements your store in the customer’s mind. It gives you a good idea of products that are worth selling and putting on sale and those that you should drop. Reviews: you can’t go wrong with them.

People Skills

One of the websites that has frustrated me the most does so because the staff lacks people skills. There’s no understanding. There’s no polite asking. There’s only demanding and dictatorships. There are strict rules that change on a whim and a total breakdown of communication. You do not want to be that company.

Basic and Luxury Toys

I don’t always recommend a luxury toy. After all, I’ve tried plenty of Lelo and Jimmyjane toys that just didn’t do it. My favorite bullet isn’t luxury, and we don’t all have deep pockets. Yet some people do have a larger budget. Or choose to live in crappy apartments but splurge on sex toys. Some people save up all year. Others comb the Internet for sales like these. If you only focus on the super cheap or the amazingly expensive, you’re missing out on a large demographic. You’re making consumers go to other retailers to meet their needs and doing yourself no good.

Updated Stock

Just like I wanted to see what’s new, I want there to simply be new things. Add new toys and remove those that are no longer in production. If you have the resources, give us a system that lets us set alerts. Tell us how many are in stock (which can even encourage sales). Nothing’s worse than ordering from a company only to find out that the product doesn’t exist except, maybe, seeing ten-year-old toys that you know aren’t actually available on a site.

Babeland offers in-person and virtual sex education workshops that prove they understand sex (toy) safety!

Sex Toy Knowledge

I appreciate that many retailers have taken the time to remove vagina-tightening creams and toys with phthalates. Before they could make that decision, they had to know what items could potentially be harmful. My personal favorite? Toys described for anal play that obviously aren’t safe for the backdoor. When you know about toys and aren’t simply trying to make a quick buck, you know how to categorize them, pass on bad toys, and better answer customer questions. Win-win, right?

A God-damned Search Feature

Please let me search your every page with a little form on your every page. Please do not use a search plugin that does not respond immediately and interrupts or erases my typing.

So you want to know which (mostly) shops do these things? SheVibe, Good Vibes, and Lovehoney.

This is, by no means, a definitive list. There are plenty of things that a sex toy store should have. There are even more things that a store should have–and plenty of things it shouldn’t—if it also wants to run a successful community. What would you add to the list?

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Categories: Articles

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5 Things I Don’t Need to See in Your Dating Profile Pictures

July 6th, 2012

1. Fish

I get it. We’re in Wisconsin. Fishing is big, and maybe you like the outdoors. I’m glad you like it, even though it’s not my thing, but how do you think it sells you on a dating website?

2. A picture of your boat, 4-wheeler, snowmobile or tractor.. without you.

People on PlentyofFish seem to do this more than any other site. Hey dude, I want to know if you’re good looking or possibly fun. I’d rather see you on that piece of machinery or fixing it or.. catching a freakin’ fish wish it. It ads absolutely zero value to your profile.

3. More than one picture of you and your car.

I can tell exactly how much of an asshole you are by your car. C’mon, try me. What’s more, anyone who takes pictures with his cars is 99% guaranteed to be more of an asshole than I’ll date. Multiple pictures moves that up to 100%.

Bad Photoshopping4. Bad Photoshop erasing of the ex.

Exes, we all have them. It sucks, right? Maybe you took some good pictures together, but these don’t need to be on your profile. Lie and tell me she’s your sister. Don’t do the world’s shittiest editing to scratch her out like some creepy stalker. Don’t physically rip the photo and scan it. Don’t black out her eyes. If you don’t have any other good photo of you, make one. This is what you do, guys: call your buddy, your sister, your mom, anyone who is willing to take some photos. Put on your best shirt, find a nice outdoor spot and take some God damned pictures until you look good.

5. Anything that makes you look like an alcoholic

Again, this is Wisconsin. Our beer is cheap and there are only two people who don’t like it, yours truly included. I don’t care if you like to drink or go out (actually, I do. We’d have incompatible lifestyles), and I’ve seen a lot of fun pictures where people were obviously enjoying themselves at night, on the town, but here’s a few suggestions to make sure your drinkin’ pics are safe:

  • For every drinking pic, put up two without alcohol
  • Don’t post any picture drunk
  • Don’t post any picture where you’re wearing something intended to drink beer
  • Only one beer in the hand at any time
  • Clear away all the empty bottles
  • Don’t take pictures of empty beer bottle collections
  • I don’t want to see what your friends did after you got that drunk
  • Keep your damned clothes on

 

Runners Up

  • Abs — because nothing says “I have no interests” like having a six pack
  • Pics of you with other girls hanging all over you. If you were that hot, why you so single, dude?
  • Pictures of you mid-chew. Swallow, guy.

 

What turns you off when browsing dating website photos?

7 Comments

Categories: Articles

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.