April 2019 Media Recommendations

April 26th, 2019

April is almost over, so I better get this posted. This month’s list of recommendations is longer than I realized. Each month, I listen to podcasts, watch videos and read a bit. If something is especially poignant, I might think that I should jot that down somewhere to recommend to you all, but I often forget. As I went through my history, I realized how much good stuff I enjoyed in April. I hope you enjoy some of it, too!

Listen

Feminist podcast The Waves discussed the current state of sex education in the U.S and whether schools is where people should get all their sex ed.

I think I’ve listened to Speaking of Sex before, but I recently came across it again and quickly consumed three or four episodes. They’re in the middle of a series about stress and sex that include an episode with Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are, who has a new book about burning out.

In the most recent episode of Science Vs, Wendy discusses whether the fertility cliff for women is real, if men might experience one as well, and what in the world is happening with sperm.

I wouldn’t have started listening to Outward if it wasn’t broadcast on The Waves channel, but I find that I enjoy it. In a recent episode about the gay scene, the hosts discuss how the scene looks different in various locales. While that was interesting, I especially enjoyed the segment with Shirley Chan about bi culture — what is it, does it exist, and how does it look? Examining bi culture and identities also hits home for me. It’s been difficult for me to identify with the larger queer community when parts of hetero culture still apply to me. Plus, they discuss democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg and whether his being gay should matter to votes when it doesn’t seem to matter to him. 

Watch

It seems as though queer issues and sexuality are gaining more traction in mainstream media, so some of my recommendations this month fall under that purview.

Netflix has a new series called Bonding about a couple of friends who work in a BDSM dungeon. I’m only a few episodes in, and it’s a bit silly but enjoyable.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed Good Girls (NBC) since it debuted. Christina Hendricks and Retta nail it. In a recent episode, one of the characters has come out as trans.

While The Bold Type is sometimes white feminism at its worst, the newest season shows Jane taking charge of her reproductive future by freezing her eggs. She’s currently dating someone, and the show has handled it well. It’s compassionate, real, and touching.

Two therapists discuss consent in BDSM in this short video. Somehow they manage to address what people can learn about how the kink community handles consent, knowing yourself before you can ask what you want, and more in just a few minutes!

Read

I haven’t started a new book about sex since I finished Tongue Tied (check out my review). Still, I enjoyed a few pieces online and parts of other books that touched on sex.

I’ve been reading Human Errors by Nathaniel Lents. The author walks readers through all the quirks of the human body as a result of evolution and sometimes random flukes. Although it’s not all about sex, a chapter that discusses the intricacies of reproduction and fertility are fascinating and timely for this post.

Editor, writer and more Rachel Kramer Bussel wrote a piece called “I Suddenly Stopped Being Kinky and I’m Not Sure Why” for Self last month. It was honest and interesting. This piece complements her interview on Sex Out Loud quite well. In the podcast, Rachel and Tristan discuss when kink is something we do versus who we are.

Let me know what you think of this media. Do you have some recommendations of your own? I feel like there’s a lot of new shows and movies that are queer-oriented that I hear about but then forget. Feel free to let me know if you’ve got a favorite.

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March 2019 Media Recommendations

March 29th, 2019

Just when I thought things were finally returning to normal, they.. have not. This month threw me for a loop with my main client taking some time off and some unexpected chest pains. My kitty also has lost more weight than I anticipated since his health issues, and our most recent vet visit was frustrating. The good news? The pain is just a muscle strain… probably from masturbating. I’ve been able to pick up enough work to cover me, too; although, the different payment schedules has thrown me for a loop. And my cat is eating quite well and I think gaining some weight, slowly but surely.

While I am looking forward to April, I enjoyed some quality media in March. The prevailing theme seems to be sex work. I am still reading Revolting Prostitutes, which I hope to finish up soon, and I’ve stumbled across a few more pieces that I found interesting.

Listen

A recent episode of The Science of Sex introduced listeners to Christina Parreira, a graduate student who worked at a brothel to gain information about sex work in America. Looking at the business elements, the characteristics of sex workers, and how safety play into sex work in brothels is super interesting.

Tristan interviews Lora Haddock and Sarah Brown, the women behind Lora Dicarlo, the company that was the CES 2019 Innovation Awards Honoree in the Robotics category only to have the award revoked and be banned from the show in a recent episode of Sex Out Loud Radio. You’ve probably heard about this, and the interview allows the creators to discuss why, yes, their upcoming product actually is a robot and different from traditional vibrators, and why CES was in the wrong but got away with it because the victims were women (and female sexuality).

Sex Out Loud Radio, American Sex, and a few other podcasts are now part of the Pleasure Podcasts collective. I decided to check it out, and it introduced me to Sluts & Scholars podcast. I’ve only listened to a few episodes, but I’ll probably tune in for more. The episode featuring Shira Myrow focuses on emotional intelligence, attachment, and mindfulness while I also enjoyed their discussion with suprihmbé about sex work, people of color, and more. It’s always a good thing to check my white privilege.

Watch

Dr. Doe spent some time in a brothel for a recent episode of Sexplanations. She didn’t spend nearly as much time with the sex workers as Parreira did, so it’s not quite in depth, but it adds a visual to the information that can be helpful.

Journalist Sarah Barmak discusses female sexuality in this Ted Talk. It’s not quite as science-based as some talks, but her points about the orgasm gap, ignorance about anatomy, arousal models, and other often ignored or unknown factors of female sexuality. There’s not much that I considered new or contentious, but the comments show that this information is still controversial and outside the mainstream for many people. I love that she acknowledges asexuals in a way, too.

I’ll hopefully have a few reading recommendations next month after I finish my current book. I honestly need to catch up on what’s been published over the last 6 or so months, so I’ll take any recommendations in the comments! Of course, let me know about any media related to sexuality that’s worth a gander. Thanks!

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Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

February 2019 Media Recommendations

February 28th, 2019

The brevity of February always throws me off. All my bills are due at the end of the month, and February is the one month that I’ll be late on a bill (or forget to pay one in its entirety, oops). So it’s not surprising that the month is almost over, and I’ve yet to post this (recent concerns over my cat’s health don’t help).

But it’s February 2019, damn it, so this still counts.

To be honest, the short month is only one reason why I didn’t consume a lot of media about sex. However, I had a few ideas in mind that I could have included from last month.. if only I could remember them! I need to use a spreadsheet, y’all. Still, there are a few things I’d like to recommend.

Listen

I usually focus on sexuality topics when I write these posts, but there’s always room for a little love, right? I came across a suggestion for This American Life’s podcast about breakups last month. It’s a long one, so you might need several sittings to finish it. In this episode, the hosts talk to a few different people about the heartbreaks they’ve experienced and, in some cases, are currently experiencing. It’s incredibly comforting in its way. Heartbreak can feel so solitary, yet we’ve all been through it, and this podcast reminds us of that. Plus, Phil Collins makes an appearance.

Sunny Megatron talked to Midori for an episode of American Sex about communication and negotiation, and it was enlightening — even if you’re not into kink.

Watch

This TEDx talk by Dr. Lisa Diamond prompts the audience to analyze whether it’s a good thing to view sexual orientation as something with which we’re born or if it’s potentially harming the very people who it was intended to protect. In some ways, she counters whether this is just a biological essentialist argument for orientation. I shared the article on my Facebook page, where it was a little divisive. While I’m not ready to fully agree with Dr. Diamond, I appreciate that she got me thinking.

Read 

I’ve just started Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Workers’ Rights, which I will eventually review. I’m glad to include more writing about sex workers on my bookshelf; although, I’m not far enough to give my full opinion.

Another book that I recently read for review is Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships. I wasn’t intended on reading the book until I heard an interview of Stella Harris, the author, on American Sex that had me intrigued. Review coming soon!

Sex, Lies, and Pharmaceuticals: How Drug Companies Plan to Profit from Female Sexual Dysfunction by Ray Moynihan and Barbara Mintzes isn’t on my review list, but it is a book that falls squarely within my interests, and I will likely write a review here when I’ve finished it. It’s an interesting look at how big pharma wants to medicate female sexual dysfunction, which may not at all be dysfunction and simply a misunderstanding of the variations of sexuality. I definitely find myself skeptical about some of their views, but the book highlights some inner works of the medical and pharmaceutical industries that I wasn’t previously aware of.

Let me know if you’ve read, watched, or listened to any of these media. What did you think? Do you have any recommendations for me? Sound off in the comments!

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December 2018 Media Recommendations

December 29th, 2018

By the time you see this, most of the December holidays will have passed. I hope that you enjoyed them, along with time with your loved ones. At the very least, I hope people have time free time, which you could perhaps use to enjoy some of the recommendations below.

Watch

  • I came across Gurit E. Birnbaum’s recent TED Talk because she posted a transcript on Psychology Today. In her video, she discusses the myriad reasons humans recognize for having sex that go well beyond procreation.
  • “A dummy’s guide to how the world regulates sex work in three minutes” is exactly what the title suggests. It’s not a deep dive, but it might encourage you to look into how sex workers operate in some locations.
  • I’ve been rewatching The L Word. I suspect many of my readers have enjoyed this, but it’s interesting to watch it in 2018 and with a more critical eye to see some of the negatives in the show. I don’t recall hating Jenny nearly this much the first time around, but I also don’t think I finished the series. So many events seem to be occurring for the first time for me.
  • Also, while non-related, Travelers (Netflix) and Marvel’s Runaways (Hulu) have returned with new seasons, and I’ve been enjoying both of them a lot.

Listen

This was such a great month for podcasts. I’ve been trying to branch out from the ones that I listen to the most and, as such, tend to frequently recommend. There have been more misses than hits, but the strong episodes really stuck with me.

  • This first recommendation isn’t a new release, but it’s definitely worth listening to (and there’s also a full transcript if you prefer to read). This American Life’s episode on the 81 words about homosexuality in the DSM, the book that defines mental disorders, tell how being gay went from being pathologized to generally being accepted after the entry was finally edited. There’s some information about the gay professionals who helped make this happen that I especially appreciated.
  • I started listening to Let’s Do It with Alex and Liz just this week. I’ve only listened to two episodes, but the very first one I had a chance to listen to blew me away. The hosts invited Teddy Cook, a health promotion specialist who attended the AIDS2018 conference in Amsterdam this year and reported on the latest research into HIV and AIDS. There’s been good news, some of which I’ve shared on social media; although, there are some frustrating trends.
  • This week, Science VS looked into the “science of being transgender.” Like many of us already know, it’s complicated. This episode explains some of the basics as well as the more complex interplay between hormones, our brains, genitals, and gender identity in an easy-to-digest format. The results might frustrate some transphobes but, hey, it’s science.
  • Another new podcast that I checked out is Two Married Sluts. Hosts Tristan and Bowie recently discussed taking a break from polyamory in the interest of self-care. I suspect some of my readers will find this useful. Even if you’re not poly, the advice rings true for other situations and types of relationships. It also ends with some sexy recaps.

I’ve been focusing on finishing up book’s I’d previously started as well as catching up on those for review, so there are no new reading recommendations this month. However, I’ll soon be starting some new reading material, so you can expect some next month.. if they’re any good.

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Make love to your long distance lover online

November 2018 Media Recommendations

November 28th, 2018

The last month has really flown by. I feel like I was just writing last month’s media recommendations. Yet, I’m unsure exactly what I’ve done since then. It hasn’t been writing reviews.

Nor did I watch anything to include in this month’s recommendations. I’ve been reading — but no books I haven’t already mentioned. I did listen to some fantastic podcasts this month, however.

I’ll hopefully return next month with a few more book recommendations and the list won’t be quite so short. This also means a couple of upcoming book reviews!

In the meantime, I put out a call on Twitter for more podcast recommendations. I’m familiar with about a dozen, several of which I regularly listen to, but I’d love to know what my readers are listening to and why they think I might enjoy it.

 

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October 2018 Media Recommendations

October 26th, 2018

October has flown by, and part of what has occupied my time is a lot of media consumption, so I have some recommendations if you want to do some learning about sex.

Reading

I just started reading Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?: And Other Reflections on Being Human because I figured I might as well take advantage of the Scribd membership that I pay for. I, and I suspect many of my readers, know why the penis is shaped why it is (or, at the very least, the current scientific theory). But the book tackles other subjects about human sexuality and is rather entertaining. I’m not very far, but I’ve learned some interesting about (cis) male bodies that sex education/health classes failed to teach. Surprise!

Listening

  • As soon as I heard the broadcast of “No” by Kaitlin Prest as part of Radiolab’s 3-part series called In the No, I knew I would at it to this list. Last year, Kaitlin produced this powerful show about rape culture, consent, and coercion. The first part is incredibly provocative, nearly leaving me breathless. I would listen with caution if you are a survivor of sexual assault. It was hard to listen to even though I have not had those experiences, and part of the show contains actual recordings. If you’re not willing to wait for the rest of the episodes on Radiolab, you can listen to them on Kaitlin’s podcast Heart. The followup episode focuses on educating offenders while the last episode analyzes why people may not be able to say “No” when they want sex as well as issues with consent within the BDSM community, which is often lauded for its consent-driven model.
  • I’ve also been listening to a lot of American Sex Podcast. The episodes on sociology, communication, and melanistic kink were all home runs for me.

Watching

This month’s visual recommendations are both on Netflix.

  • The first recommendation is Adam Ruins Everything’s sex episode, which tackles the hymen, herpes, and more. The hymen episode may be the first Adam Ruins Everything show I ran into, and Netflix has curated it along with some episodes. I’ve always found the series and host engaging, but I don’t do a lot of Youtube, so I haven’t watched much of it.
  • My second recommendation is a series called Christiane Amanpour: Sex & Love Around the World. I was not previously familiar with Christiane Amanpour, who apparently works for CNN. In this series, she travels to different countries around the world and talks to citizens about their opinions on love and sex. It starts in Japan, which I found particularly interesting because of the cultural emphasis on community. This is something a bit foreign to me as an American. I am not very far into the series but definitely find it interesting. My biggest critique is that because each location is only covered in a single episode and the topics of sex and love are so broad that it barely scratches the surface.

I’ve just finished two books that were dominating my time, so I’ll be able to catch up on the two books I started last month and finally get the reviews written (along with a few others!).

Got any recommendations? Leave ’em in the commentd!

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September 2018 Media Recommendations

September 30th, 2018

I suppose I better post this while it’s still September, huh?

Even though I tried to be more conscientious about the media  I was consuming this month so I could include it in this post, I’m having a difficult time remembering just what that was. I suppose this means I need to make more memos to myself!

Watching

One of the things that did leave an impression was a video I saw shared on BuzzFeed’s Facebook page about a black domme who teaches black feminist theory as part of her domination style.  I shared it on social media, but it’s worth another mention. I just love the way she’s subverting power for her means. Unfortunately, it won’t let me display it directly, so you’ll need to click over to Facebook.

Reading

This month, I started two books about sex.

I’m not very far into either of them because of personal reading, but I enjoy them both. It’s interesting that they’re both about history — a bit of a departure for me.

They’re both less than a year old, so you may not be familiar with them. Fortunately, I will be reviewing both books here.. eventually.

This is also an unusual recommendation, but I highly enjoyed reading all of the social posts about Sex Out Loud, a sex conference that recently took place in Atlanta. The conference is especially supportive of southern people of color, but it seems welcoming to all. You can check out posts, including panel live tweets, at #SDSCon18. You can also follow the official Sex Down South Twitter account.

On a less positive note, recent CDC reports show that STIs are on the rise.

Listening

I really enjoyed a recent episode of Sex Out Loud where Tristan interviewed Andre Shakti about Sex Down South. Not only did I enjoy hearing about the conference as I did reading it, but it gave me food for thought as Andre reiterated that we cannot just promote voices in academia because of the barriers to academia. I have been thinking a lot about this (and my own contribution to the issue) since the post-Woodhull uproar).

As always, feel free to leave your own recommendations in the comments!

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