Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women

February 12th, 2012

Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women

Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women
$14.85 from Amazon

I’ve had this book for a while, and I had a hard time finishing it, not only because it didn’t make stars but because having a broken heart makes me less horny. It’s odd, I know. So I started reading this book and it was difficult for me to get a feel for it. I mean, I liked the title and the cover image, but what exactly is erotica for women anyway? I think it’s kind of an arbitrary description of soft-core erotica, right?

It took me a while but I eventually realized that the theme here is fantasies had by women so most of the stories are essentially characters getting really worked up because their fantasies are finally coming true and I can appreciate that because I think far too much. Others, however, simply appear to be fantasies of the actual authors because there isn’t a solid mention of how the fantasy element plays into it.

Because the stories are all about fantasy, there is a lot of sex with strangers and in places where the character would not normally have sex. However, the novelty soon wears off — at least, it did for me. There were a couple of stories that did stand out, including one about sex with the IT guy and another that culminated in sex as a cemetery. Still, more stories were forgettable than not, for me. One in particular was oddly bad. It was written in an abrupt and halting way, which I suspect was done on purpose, but read in a very unsophisticated manner that didn’t do much for me.

Although this is billed as for women, there is a lot of sex. The focus here is definitely heterosexual; although, there are a couple group scenarios. A few of the stories involve light bondage but PIV and oral sex seem to be the most common sexual acts. All in all, Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women just wasn’t different enough from the typical erotica anthology and, apparently, I like different.

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Tickle My Tush

January 20th, 2012

Tickle My Tush

Tickle My Tush
$14.95 from Tickle Kitty

I’ve seen the books by Dr. Sadie before. They have cute names like “Ride ‘Em, Cowgirl” and “Tickle His Pickle.” Tickle My Tush is the latest book by Dr. Sadie, published by Tickle Kitty. It’s, as you can guess, all about anal play. What you might not guess is how small this book is! It’s just over 100 pages but the book is both short and narrow, so it’s physically smaller than other educational books. There’s also a lot of white space in the book itself, which is why I was able to read it in only two sittings.

The good news is, if you’re just starting out with anal play, then you won’t be intimidated by this book. Because I think this book is really best for those who are just exploring the territory and maybe even those who have tried but haven’t had a lot of success with it in the past, this isn’t a bad thing. I, personally, didn’t find this book to be eye-opening but I was able to compare it to my own experience and the experiences of those I know and can say the advice is pretty solid.

Dr Sadie splits the book up into chapters that begin by introducing anal play to the reader. In the first chapter, she explains why people enjoy it. The next address frequently asked questions, and the third talks about anal safety. One thing I enjoyed is that she is always stressing lubing it up and communication with your partner, whether you’re on the giving or receiving end. The chapters continue on, and Dr Sadie talks about hygiene then introduces the anatomy of the ass in both men and women.

In the sixth chapter, the action finally begins as Sadie instructs the reader about anal massage. Fingerplay and oral follow before a chapter on penetration. Experienced users can tune right in to read about orgasm through anal play and Dr Sadie devotes an entire chapter to anal toys — and she stresses the necessity for flared bases at least three times. The segues into strap-on anal play, which Sadie assumes is between men and women only. She does a great job explaining why a woman might want to don a dong but the entire book has a hetero/monogamous slant. It doesn’t make it less useful for people in general; however, it would be more useful and welcoming with different language. After all, wouldn’t a gay man or a lesbian want to learn the basics of anal play, too?

Tickle My Tush wraps up with an entire chapter dedicated to positions, with illustrations and a final FAQ that addresses questions readers may have after reading the book. As I mentioned, it’s a quick read because each chapter is only a few pages long. There’s also a lot of white space that accommodates for “Sadie Sez” asides. These blurbs highlight or stress things that Sadie wants the reader to remember. For example, slower is better or not to try to emulate porn, where warm-up is done off-screen. Mostly, the blurbs repeat content on the page, however. The line breaks between paragraphs are also quite white and on some pages there are warnings within a “Caution” sign, creating more empty space. The list goes on but, essentially, this book is even shorter than it looks and it looks short.

As I mentioned, the advice is pretty solid. I love how Sadie focuses on hygiene issues that allow you to feel more comfortable as does her general tone. However, her tone is extremely conversational, sometimes bordering on silly. There’s an entire page dedicated to the words and terms she is going to use instead of the actual clinical or official words for anatomy or activities. For example, it’s not “sphincter” but “O-rings” and she uses “pleasure inch” instead of “anal canal”. Dr Sadie reasons that some of these words sound unpleasant and, therefore, we should use friendlier terms, instead. I don’t necessarily mind “color” as slang for poop and terms like “rimming” and “licking” are readily accepted; however, if you can’t say “rectum” without giggling, maybe you shouldn’t be reading (or writing) this book.

There’s also a lot of conversational speaking to the reader and this sometimes feels as though they’re trying to make a book out of information that would only really fill a pamphlet. Similarly, the pictures feel a little amateur at times; however, they’re helpful in the positions chapter, and I find the position suggestions to be creative and useful. Sometimes the suggested positions come off as both unrealistic and uncomfortable. Dr Sadie also recommends which of these positions is better for persons of different heights and weights.

My last complaint is that Tickle My Tush doesn’t address material safety in terms of toys for anal sex. She says that no toy, finger, or cock should enter the mouth or vagina after anal play and also recommends ways to keep juices/lube from finding its way into the vagina. Still, the book could do more to address porosity and using either condoms or toy covers for anal play. I’d really like to see Dr Sadie talk about how only non-porous toys are actually safe between holes because jelly and the like can harbor bacteria even after it’s been washed with soap and water. Silicone, glass, and metal, at least, can be more thoroughly sterilized, but I wouldn’t even use a non-porous material without bleaching or boiling first.

Although Tickle My Tush isn’t without its flaws, its approachable and I think many people who are uncomfortable or only just warming up to the idea of anal sex will find it useful. It could perhaps be read by couples who are venturing into new territory together, but many experienced toy and anal players may want to skip this one.

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Red Velvet and Absinthe

January 12th, 2012

Red Velvet and Absinthe

Red Velvet and Absinthe
$14.95 from Amazon

After a while, erotica starts to look a lot alike. There are so many collections I have that.. I do not care anything about. There’s maybe three that really stand out and Red Velvet and Absinthe is one of those. I mean, the idea of paranormal erotica is pretty cool and I expected werewolves and vampires — which I got — but some of the more ghostly and unusual ideas were really memorable.

So, of course, werewolves and vampires are heavy in this book. The first few stories I read were only about werewolves. I wasn’t reading them in order so it almost seemed as though the editor has purposefully shied away from vampires because, you know, Twilight sucks.. There are also some vampire stories, including one with a lesbian slant. Ghosts make their appearance in this book and there’s one extremely interesting voodoo doll story. All in all, if you like the paranormal or are turned on by the unusual, I can’t recommend this enough.

My favorites include Dolly with the aforementioned voodoo doll, in which a young woman makes her doll and with it brings to life a person/creature and begins a sexual and romantic relationship that ends with an interestingly sweet twist. Anna Meadows paints a picture worth a thousand years in her story Painted about a young man’s fixation with a painting of an alluring woman. I could practically feel the walls shaking as I read through a thunderstorm scene. La Belle Morte is not a story with a happy ending for the protagonist, a young woman who is on death row, but the author somehow manages to cause the reader to forget the fact as the woman escapes into sexual fantasies with a strange visitor. An angel even makes an appearance in the very last story, Benediction.

There’s a few caveats, though, and I suspect these issues won’t be problematic for everyone. The focus here is on quality writing and story-telling rather than erotic happenings so if you’re the “want it now” type, you might find some of these to take too long to get to the good stuff or don’t spend enough time on it. I did skip a few longer stories because I usually prefer them short. With that said, I also went back to read stories that I’d skipped when I wasn’t trying to get off because I found the material to be interesting. People who don’t necessarily read erotica to get off will probably like the caliber of the writing in this book.

Secondly, Red Velvet and Absinthe focuses on romance. The sex is either between committed partners or implies commitment despite the paranormal circumstances in a til-death-do-us-part-and-sometimes-not-even-then sort of way. One night stands aren’t really part of the repertoire. Still, the romance is done in a dark and Gothic sort of way, with vampires turning their beloveds so that they can spend eternity together or one story which takes place in a prison cell. Danger is common-place as mere mortals dally with werewolves and other beastly creatures. It’s quite thrilling.

Really, that’s why I found myself both getting off and continuing to read just to see what happens next. That’s pretty high praise and I can say, without doubt, I’d love to reread the stories in this book.

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Playing With Fire

August 26th, 2011

Playing With Fire

Playing With Fire
$14.95 from Amazon

I don’t like to gush. For some reason, I feel like it takes away from my credibility as a reviewer but it’s hard not to, and I literally did gush, when reading Playing With Fire. This anthology is, without any doubt, my favorite erotica collection thus far. Usually, I open a book and like one story or two; I find myself paging through numerous others or becoming distracted as I wonder “When does this story end?” or “What’s the point again?”

Playing With Fire is not actually full of books about fire play; although, there is fire. Alison Tyler has picked stories that deal with fire and heat, whether literally or metaphorically, to include in this collection. Sometimes the connection is strenuous, sometimes it’s simply one line in the story and other times the title is fire/heat-related, but that’s the general theme. There’s a lot of “what we’re doing is so hot” and “this is so hot that I cannot wait.” In fact, the not being able to wait is almost as much as a theme as heat.

The result is stories that vary in length and style–although, none are longer than a few pages–as well as content and delivery but most of them are to the point. The reader doesn’t have to wait long for the sexuality to happen and the authors are explicit in their depictions. I read this in only three or four sittings. I found it extremely difficult to put down Playing With Fire and I was disheartened the last time I picked it up because I had so few stories left.

My favorites include “Carrying a Torch,” in which the female protagonist is turned on by her boyfriend’s other lover after accidentally seeing them have sex. Sophia Valenti writes her character’s fantasies to life fantastically. Secondly, Teresa Noelle Roberts absolutely hit it out of the park with her scorcher “One Hundred Degrees in the Shade.” A New Yorker couple escape to a cabin in the summer’s heat and everything comes to a boil with a hot sex scene as a storm rages in the background. I loved it especially because I feel the electricity myself when it’s storming around me.

However, this is not the perfect book. For some reason, there are quite a few stories to which cheating is a theme. This makes me a little uncomfortable. I understand why it can be hot for some but I’ve been too close to that setting in real life to appreciate it in literature. While I enjoyed most of the stories, there are a few that I just particularly didn’t. The most disappointing is “Burned” by Michael Hemmingson. In this story, a young woman is writing a novel and the story moves back and forth between what’s happening in the novel and for the author. There’s some strange fourth-wall-breaking narration and the sex isn’t particularly sexy. It’s an interesting story but makes for bad erotica.

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Gotta Have It

August 10th, 2011

Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex

Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex
$22 from Babeland

There’s nothing like a long book that you don’t really like. I guess I could sum up my experience with “Gotta Have It” in those words and leave it but I’ll try to explain exactly why this book didn’t catch my fancy. I mean, there’s a cat on the cover, so that should count for something, right?

“Gotta Have It” promises to offer 69 stories of sudden sex, and while the sex may be sudden, it’s not all sudden fiction. That is, some of them are just a little longer than I like and we all know how I don’t like erotica that lasts longer than I do. And, honestly, I think the sheer number of stories is not working in this book’s favor. It appears bulky, especially because it’s shorter and squatter than any other erotica book I own. It’s ten times as big as Five Minute Erotica! Maybe I wouldn’t have noticed so much if I weren’t reviewing it but I felt the deadline pressing against me and was just trying to finish all the stories, one by one, and they kept blending together. By the time I finished the book, I couldn’t remember anything about the first stories–there was just too much data to try to recall in one place. This would have been much better off as two volumes.

But it’s more than that because I found myself paging through and passing by more stories than I read. A lot of them just didn’t pull me in from the start and I couldn’t get into them by continuing on. I don’t like to waste my time so I skipped ahead. The problem is that the focus of these stories appears to be the writing rather than the sex or sexuality. They’re all spectacularly written and interesting as literature but not as erotica. It’s almost as though the sex is an afterthought in some of them.

There are well-written stories with a wide variety of subjects. The themes in this book include golden showers, sex with strangers, voyeurism, phone sex, gender play, online dating and Godzilla. Yes, Godzilla. In fact, Salome Wilde’s “Too Wondrous To Measure” is a fantastic tale about the giant reptile that I remember simply because it was weird. Call me old-fashioned but I just don’t get turned on by the guy. There are a mixture of gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight couplings but there’s a lot of monogamous sex that I just didn’t find particularly thrilling in “Gotta Have It.”

One of my favorite stories actually details the make-up sex of a married couple. Daniel Burnell’s “Ties That Bind” was interesting when I first read it. Yet, it’s not something that is so interesting or different that I remember it once the book leaves my hands. The same can be said for “Lucky Number Fifty-One” which follows a man who gets the chance to have sex with his favorite porn star and is able to impress her.

At the end of the day (or page or book), “Gotta Have It” Is simply not the best erotica collection I’ve read. It’s better than, say, X, because I like stories short but I have four or so anthologies on my nightstand that I found to be much more interesting. I don’t know if it’s the sole reason but I seem to really enjoy collections that Alison Tyler have edited and this one was edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. I’d recommend Five Minute Erotica if you want a short and sexy story. Some of those have left some pretty vivid memories in my mind.

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Ultimate Erotic Massage

April 8th, 2011

Ultimate Erotic Massage

Ultimate Erotic Massage
$9.48 from Amazon

I enjoy getting massages and I guess I’m okay at giving them but it’s one of those activities that I always wanted to learn more about. Enter the book Ultimate Erotic Massage and, truthfully, this book was a real eye opener for me. Sure, it has the sort of hokey, new-age feel that sometimes annoys me (and others) but I think I had to move away from the mechanics of massage and learn how to intuit the practice to better understand that–and Ultimate Erotic Massage absolutely helped in that pursuit.

Ultimate Erotic Massage is a soft cover book of nearly 200 pages by Kavida Rei. After an introduction to erotic massage and its benefits, it is split into three main sections: sensual massage, intimate massage and erotic extras. There’s also a brief section, in the beginning, that is dedicated to the basics of massage, including supplies, setting the mood, negotiating the scene, connecting with your partner as well as basic techniques. It’s here that Rei introduces the idea of using body parts other than hands–such as hands or your mouth–as part of your massage technique.

A short description of each section:

Sensual message discusses how each sense plays into massage and gives suggestions for helping either sex become sensually aware. The next chapter in this section breaks down sensual massage techniques by area of the body with extra information on stimulating a woman’s breasts and, again, using your mouth to please your partner. This section wraps up with some interesting information about soapy and/or wet massages that are somewhat based on Thai techniques.

Intimate massage delves into genital massage and Rei breaks down techniques for each gender and includes an entire chapter on oral massage. Kavida stresses that we should take the time to enjoy giving and receiving erotic intimate massage on its own–without necessarily leading to orgasm or sex. I particularly enjoyed the inclusion of a chapter about self massage. Rei’s advice helps the reader connect with herself, even when no partner is available.

All of these sections include small blocks of text on large backgrounds of individuals or couples. Like the cover, these images are pretty sensual in nature, if not necessarily explicit, and make this book pretty conspicuous. Most, if not all, of the couplings are heterosexual and while there author never explicitly states so, the book itself has a rather hetero-normative flair and it wouldn’t hurt if it were a bit more inclusive for homosexual or transsexual folks. All the chapters also include a variety of inserts: pictures, lists, activities and technique so it’s varied, easy read. Despite that, it did take me a while to get through this book. I just couldn’t get into it–through no fault of the book

Erotic extras finally segues into orgasm through erotic massage. It is in this section that the author begins to suggest that massage may lead to orgasm and introduces us to arousal, seduction 65yt6and, finally, orgasm. Unfortunately, in the sensual massage portion of this guide, I almost found the tone to suggest that something is wrong with achieving orgasm through these techniques. Obviously, it may not be the point but I’m not entirely sure why it should be entirely avoided, either. It could be just how I read it but I was glad to see the middle chapters discuss the possibility at all.

The final chapters discusses massage as an element of fantasy, roleplay and BDSM before Rei finishes the book with some information about Tantric massage. Like other sex/massage guides, there are a couple pages dedicated to resources and retailers to guide you on your journey to the ultimate erotic massage and a useful index at the very end. Interesting, there is no information about the other. You might be interested to know that her personal website describes her as a “Tantric Goddess.” I usually like to know how someone is qualified to be writing such material.

After finishing this book, I definitely felt as though my arsenal of massage information had bulked up, in addition to having a greater understanding of the art itself. Ultimate Erotic Massage laid it out in a very easy to digest format and, although I read this book cover to cover, you could easily pick a place where you want to focus. I can see myself referring to it in the future and that it something I rarely say about guide books that I have had the pleasure of reading.

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God and Sex

October 27th, 2010

God and Sex

God and Sex
$18.09 from Amazon

So, this is a bit of a different turn for of Sex and Love. I pretty much screamed “yes” when I was contacted to review God and Sex, a book that details What the Bible Really Says About Sex. It’s right up my alley.

Michael Coogan, the director of publications for the Harvard Semitic Museum and a professor of religious studies at Stonehill college, has taken the time to decipher and discuss what the Bible has to say about sex in regards to women’s rights, virginity, marriage, rape, homosexuality and more. In this book, Coogan translates Biblical text and analyzes what it meant to world at the time and how it applies–if it applies–today. Coogan does not have a religious or secular slant. After reading God and Sex, I could see him as an educated Christian or an educated atheist. It’s a toss up, really. I say this to inform those who view the Bible as a religious text that they may still enjoy this.

Unless they pick and choose scriptures and passages to further their agenda without taking time to familiarize themselves with the Bible. Coogan does, however. It becomes clear, by the end of this book, that the Bible says a lot of things, directly and indirectly, and the contradictions are rampant enough that it’s pretty ridiculous for anyone to base an argument on the Bible. Period.

The chapters in God and Sex discuss women, marriage and divorce, forbidden relationships, rape and prostitution and God’s wives. Intellectually, I enjoyed the last chapter immensely. Coogan gives some examples that show God may, indeed, be a sexual being and one who had a wife or wives.

Of particular importance in today’s society, is the chapter on forbidden relationships. Coogan delves into the Bible and relates what it says about homosexuality. Coogan’s conclusion is that, yes, the Bible generally opposed homosexuality but also that some of the Bible’s writers mention it in passing, as though it is a normal and acceptable thing. He argues that, no matter what the Bible says, it needs to be recognized as a book that was not created in our time.

Feminists and even some misogynists will bristle while reading the first chapter. The (mis)treatment of women as property and the concept of virginity as a relic of this institution is nothing short of horrifying. Later in the book, Coogan discusses how men were expected to be good hosts, even going so far as to provide their wives for guests to rape, rather than being impolite. It is horrific, to say the least. Even though Coogan discusses how patriarchal Biblical society was, he also makes a comment that indicates he doesn’t realize how far we’ve to come.

It’s interesting, too. In the chapter on marriage and divorce, the reader becomes familiar with Christ’s view of divorce (unfavourable) may be in direct opposition to the word of God, himself (who divorced Israel).

Michael Coogan wraps up his book with a reminder that we need to keep perspective when in the Bible. It may be a good rule of thumb for some things but there are certainly fine details that are nonsensical, unethical or even dangerous to follow in these modern times–and that’s even if the Bible can be accurately translated.

For example, some folks will be surprised to hear that the Bible has very little to say on the fact of abortion. This fact is not lost on Coogan who muses about how the passages people (sometimes incorrectly) quote usually mention abortion in passing on the way to a greater lesson.

Readers be warned that the content is only 200 pages long. There are 26 pages of notes, along with a bibliography and credits. Coogan translated the Bible himself and references the passages and translations in every chapter. The notes make it easy to follow his train of thought and double check his work, if you’re so inclined. This makes God and Sex incredibly well researched but possibly controversial because Coogan relies on a specific version of the Bible and does not rely on popular or “friendly” translations of the book. Basically, it’s not the book for you if you prefer your religious lessons spoon-fed.

So, if you haven’t guessed it, God and Sex is a real eye-opener in its honesty and unique take on sex in the Bible and what that means to people as modern Christians. It’s an interesting read but one that took me a little longer than usual simply because some of the chapters are a bit long. I would have enjoyed it more were I less concerned with finishing in time to review but that’s pretty much a given for books with me.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

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