Below you’ll find all of the sex toy reviews I’ve written at Of Sex and Love. Find my opinions on vibrators, dildos, media (sex education books, porn, DVDs and erotica), bondage and BDSM gear, lingerie, anal toys, lube, massage products, and more!
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I’ve also reviewed sexual health goodies.
Don’t forget all those accessories and non-sex toy reviews.
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Rounded Handle Leather Flogger
£39.99
from UberKinky
I think much of this is due to the hefty stainless steel handle. It creates a balance and allows you to direct your aim with ease. It’s actually much shorter than the falls on the flogger — about 7.5 inches from tip to the edge of the braiding. This fits very well in my fist. It might feel a little cramped if you have especially large hands, but i doubt it. I actually prefer the shorter handle to some of the other floggers I have.
The handle isn’t perfect, however. There’s a smoothed down but visible seam along with some indentations that I assume are from the manufacturing process. It doesn’t impact use, however, like it might if it were a stainless steel toy.
Because of the weight, it doesn’t feel like a “play thing” like those ridiculous little feather ticklers that would better be marketed as toys for cats than kinksters. The functional yet attractive design would fit in with any experienced kinkster’s collection. It’s on another level from most of the floggers I’ve already tried.
There’s a leather wrist loop securely attached and the end of the handle is bulbous, which makes it easy to grasp and difficult to slip from your fingers. You can also use this for storage.
The falls are longer than most of my floggers — between 22″ and 23″. They’re cut at an angle, and not exactly the same length, so it doesn’t look blunt. Each fall consists of a leather “Exterior” and a red, suede interior. It’s a nice, deep red that my flash and indoor light does a poor job of showing. The appearance is gorgeous, but the smell of that leather? Divine!
The falls are secured under a braided band. There’s no visible hardware, but I have no doubt of the quality. There isn’t any fraying or separating of the layers in the tails.
Because it’s made from calf suede, it’s obviously not the choice if you’re a vegan, but I love leather and meat too much to be. The tails fall heavily, with a satisfying chorus of “thwaps.” The dual layers are thicker than, say, the Crystal Whip. Although it was bent in the package, the falls have no kink in them, which is an issue I’ve experienced with cheaper floggers.
It also provides more intense sensations than some of those beginner’s floggers. You can use it more lightly, of course, but it doesn’t take much effort for a more stinging sensation because of the weight of the leather. There is a chance that this isn’t the best toy for you if you have arthritis or other hand, wrist or arm ailments.
I would recommend UberKinky’s Beginner’s Guide to Flogging to see if you might want to try flogging and to see how to get used to floggers. Per their guidance that your first flogger shouldn’t be heavy or have longer tails, you might want to opt for a smaller flogger to see whether you and your partner enjoys the sensation.
I haven’t been able to spend as much time with the UberKinky Rounded Handle Leather Flogger as I would like. In particular, I am looking forward to feeling the heavy falls against my flesh and the cold of the stainless steel touching my skin.
Lovehoney Adore Me Bustier
$49.99
from Lovehoney
You guys, I love black and red. Obviously. The color combination is great. Given that it’s the palette Lovehoney decided to go with for their new Adore Me line of lingerie, I instantly fell in love with almost every single piece. No lie.
So I left it pretty open when it came to choosing which piece to send me, and I got the Adore Me bustier. I opted for plus size because standard sizing has no XL. This might be a mistake on their part, but I think the design takes into consideration different body shapes and sizes by being stretchy and adjustable in multiple places.
This might be might first bustier. I generally choose babydolls that are more loose fitting around the midsection. So how did my first experience go?
I liked the feel of the Adore Me bustier as soon as I put it on. The microfiber bustier is super comfy. It slides right across your skin and isn’t much of a barrier between your body and your partner or even your own hands. You could probably sleep in it.
But like any bustier, it’s going to show any bulges or whatnot. If you’re worried about your tummy, you might look for something other than the G-string it comes with to prevent panty lines and bulges. As a whole, this is the more revealing piece when compared to the Adore Me Chemise, which is a little longer, features a straight laced hem all the way around and covers the breasts with a layer of microfiber. The chemise is still pretty form-fitting, even though it’s longer and covers your butt, so these pieces might not be up your alley if you’re working on body issues.
The chemise might offer a little bit more support to the chest. Although neither of these pieces of lingerie have underwire, the lace cups on the Adore Me bustier are definitely on the low end of support. My breasts needed a little adjusting to be ideal. Because I need more support from the side, this wasn’t perfect for me.
However, the straps are a thicker fabric, which should be good if you’re more well-endowed. You can adjust both the length of the shoulder straps as well as the two straps that cross in the cutout at the back. This enables you to choose how much skin you want to wear and even adjust the fit. Because the plus sizes cover a range 1x/2x or 3x/4x, this is important and a smart decision on Lovehoney’s design team’s part.
So how does sizing run on this piece? I am barely plus-sized and it was comfortable. There’s a lot of stretch so you could definitely fit up to a a 2x, but it likely wouldn’t be as flattering. I took a couple measurements. These are flat measurements:
Obviously, 35 inches for the waist line isn’t super plus sized, but I was easily able to stretch it to 25 inches. It may not wear comfortable that way, but there’s a generous amount of give in the fabric. In the product photo, its stretched much more so that it will cover the taller-than-I-am model’s tummy and some of her pubic area. I stand only 5’2″ and this is about how long it is on me, unstretched, with the bra straps about 1/2 longer than the minimum.
Aside from the cups, pretty much everything on the Adore Me Bustier is adjustable, and I think many people will find they’ve gotten their money’s worth with this piece.
Adjustable straps, Lovehoney charm and twisted strap
The detailing doesn’t just stop with adjustability. I enjoy the lace details at the empire waist and along the back hem, which isn’t as drastic of a curve as the front. Beneath the open back, there’s vertical ruching in the center of your lower back/butt, which brings the lace hem upward. This allows your butt to peak out from beneath it, as you can see in product photos.
There’s a tiny Lovehoney charm between the breasts that I initially didn’t even notice, but I quite like it! In fact, the attention to detail really shows through. It’s not a groundbreaking design by any means, but the lace, ruching, ribbon and charm all make it feel very “complete.”
However, one thing I did notice was that one of the shoulder straps was sewn incorrectly, so that one side of the strap always twists and won’t lie flat. It’s not a deal breaker, but it is something I would notice.
Like any set that comes with a G-string, this one was much too large for me. If sizing is an issue, you could consider the Adore Me garter panties, which have removeable garters and come in both standard and plus sizes, for a better fit.
I might have liked the Adore Me Chemise a little better in hindsight, but I definitely enjoyed my first experience with a bustier overall. If the attention to detail and general quality — minus the one twisted strap — is any indicator, Lovehoney’s doing a good job with their lingerie!
The Big Book of Domination
$13
from Amazon
Perhaps the single most noticeable way that The Big Book of Domination differs from The big Book of Submission is the number of stories. At over 200 pages, this book could have dozens of stories, but it actually only contains 25 stories. With 69 stories in The Big Book of Submission, each story was shorter on average.
When it comes to what I like in erotica, this isn’t actually a boon. I love sudden fiction. I love sultry sex in 2000 words or less. I like reading it. I like writing it. I don’t need the flowery descriptions that add to word count. I’m not a huge fan to a ton of buildup. Show me the main event.
It just seems like the point where I would end the story introduces another scene, and I can’t keep myself glued to the pages. Perhaps I get off too quickly, but this isn’t really conducive to how I use erotica.
I also found it hard to keep my attention rapt through the first three stories, which involved male domination. Fortunately, the fourth ushers in a domme, but the first three could, perhaps, been broken up in a different order. While most of the stories do seem to pair a male dominant with a female submissive, I do like how several of them play with BDSM roles. Several stories involve submissive experiment with holding the metaphorical whip.
There are other themes that I noted in The Big Book of Domination. These include power exchanges that are surprising and somewhat sudden, either between strangers or from the point of a view of a submissive discovering another’s dominant tendencies.
Because so many of these stories seem to be from the submissive’s view point, The Big Book of Domination isn’t as different from The Big Book of Submission as I think it could be. It’s more of a general BDSM collection in my opinion. With that said, the stories happen in many different and sometimes unusual settings. There is an overall lack of cliche, even if that means I sometimes am turned off by something such as manly boot licking.
This isn’t to say that I hated the book. I didn’t. There were a few stories I found particularly enjoyable, especially the last story, “Little Angel” by Evan Mora. It was one of the many stories where someone who typically identifies as a submissive experiments with dominance and finds it thrilling!
Now, this might not be the perfect book for me but I feel confident that many people will like it. In fact, some people specifically like erotica that’s a little longer than most sudden fiction. If you liked The Big Book of Submission but thought the stories should be longer or even if you didn’t like it because each piece wasn’t long enough, I would suggest you check out The Big Book of Domination.
One lucky reader of OSAL will get their chance to read the book thanks to the folks at Cleis Press, who are sponsoring a giveaway. One American winner will get their hands on this anthology, and you can determine whether or not this book is two thumbs up.
Enter using the giveaway widget below. Remember to check back daily to earn more entries and increase your chance of winning!
Good luck!
Ends March 26.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Listen, guys. Lelo is trying really hard to be innovative. It’s not enough to make toys of silicone that are rechargeable. They did that. And then everyone else did that. They’ve got to get a couple steps ahead of the game.
It certainly wasn’t cutting it for them to try to revamp some of their most-loved items. The sophomore versions of most toys, including the Gigi, just fell short. Perhaps the second Mona was an improvement.
And Lelo took heart, maybe? Because they tried to do something completely different with Ora, which was met with disdain from almost the entire sex-toy-buying community. I liked it, but the original obviously wasn’t ready to be released. And Siri 2? Props on increasing the motor for one of my favorite clit toys, but that whole “music vibe” thing is a joke.
So what else can Lelo do? Fun Factory has already done something interesting and relatively successful with the Stronic line, so I guess Lelo’s going to stick to mimicking manual g-spot stimulation.
That’s where this whole Wave thing comes in. Lelo picked two popular toys, Mona and Ina, to “upgrade.” Rather than just creating another g-spot vibe, Lelo has allowed the head of Mona to wag back and forth — like the “come hither” motion. There is also vibration, and you can use them together or separately if you’d like.
The vibration alone isn’t any better than the original Mona or Mona 2. The original has been discontinued, but you’re going to save a chunk of money if you buy Mona 2. To be honest, this is probably the best option for anyone who isn’t entirely sure that Mona Wave isn’t for them. Unless you’re comfortable throwing away money. And this is why.
The problem, I think, with Mona Wave is that it’s one size fits most. And if it fits me fairly well, that means it’s going to fall short for a lot of other people.
The back-and-forth motion performs at a uniform pace. If it works for you, that’s great. It’s just kind of boring. And there’s no increase or decrease in intensity to get you to the point where you’re going to have a g-spot orgasm or squirt. This is going to mean that “one size fits most,” results in some pretty unhappy customers.
As far as toys go, the Mona Wave is all about providing the same sensation instantly. Maybe you’ll reach for it after another toy has gotten you almost there.. but why would you? You could use the vibration and curved shaft to stimulate your G-spot and then turn on the wave function, but that seems kinda fickle, and you may find yourself removing the toy to look at the buttons.
This is always an issue with me when I’m using toys that have more than one function. I can never just switch between them, and I’ve never thought that Lelo’s standard 4-button control panel was quite as intuitive as it could be.
Mona Wave might have 10 speeds, be waterproof and come with a warranty, but none of that is going to mean much to disappointed sex toy lovers who aren’t able to successfully cater their masturbation style to the Mona Wave rather than the other way around, which I think many people argue is the better way. So Lelo’s claims that Mona Wave is the first of its kind that will revolutionize vibrators is just a claim the company can’t back up.
Five Head Wartenberg Wheel
£19.99
from UberKinky
The five heads work exactly the same as a single head — except there’s more. They’ll cover a wider path and the prongs won’t line up exactly, so there will be more variation in sensation. However. they’ll all move in the same direction.
The appearance of this is a little more “Wicked” than the regular pinwheel. Indeed, people who have seen this or my single Wartenberg wheel have assumed it was a tool of punishment that would make anyone squeal. They’re not quite right; although, they’re not quite wrong, either.
Obviously, stimulation can range from a light to possibly breaking the skin. I’v yet to be able to achieve that, but with firm pressure, I was able to achieve a nice “perforation” effect on my skin. It took a few moments for the tracks to really show up, though. I like the marks left by a Wartenberg wheel and they’re not permanent, which is nice.
If you do use it with enough pressure to draw blood, it will be a little more difficult to clean around each pinwheel and all the spokes. I’m thinking a brush or cloth would do the trick without causing it to rust, because that would suck. I definitely wouldn’t let it soak.
The Five Head Wartenberg Pinwheel is everything you like about the original, just more. In fact, I think the quality of this one is higher than that of my original pinwheel, which seem to have edges of different sharpnesses and a few imperfections. When it comes to metal, it’s pretty easy to tell when companies have skimped because of imperfections on the surface. This isn’t the case with the Five Head Wartenberg Pinwheel.
The five head pinwheel comes in the same sort of plastic sheath as other Wartenberg pinwheels. It might be a bit wider to fit it. It’s not wide enough, however. It should be more box-like or have a flared end (like a condom) to better with the pinwheel. Because it’s so sharp, it’s cut the shit out of the sheath during shipping alone. Frequent use, which would involve removing and replacing the pinwheel, would only exacerbate this. Needless to say, I won’t be keeping mine in the plastic cover.
Despite its looks, the Wartenberg wheel can be newb-friendly while still offering more intense sensations for people who like it a bit rougher. There’s not a huge difference in sensation between this one and the pinwheel with the single head, however, so I would based my decision on price and quality.
My Life on the Swingset
$6.99 (Kindle)
from Amazon
When I was initially approached by author and lifestyle swinger Cooper Beckett to review his book, My Life on the Swingset, I was interested. But I had never heard of the guy or his podcast or website before. I’m no swinger, and I’m not much into podcasts, so maybe this isn’t to be surprised. However, I said “Yes” anyway.
My Life on the Swingset is a collection of edited writings from the Cooper’s blog, along with some new works by Cooper. If you’re already familiar with his previous works, then you’ll be acquainted with some of the characters and events, including the annual swingers retreat Desire, that are mentioned in this book. However, this is absolutely not necessary. You’ll also already be aware of the conversation way that Beckett speaks, with nerdy quips and nested brackets that I couldn’t help myself but smile at.
Conversational tone can be difficult to pull off, but it looks like years writing for Life on the Swingset has helped Cooper Beckett find his voice. In fact, I’d probably be willing to read a paper or novel on just about anything that he wrote if he did so in this style. It took very little time to think of Cooper as a friend and someone with whom I might enjoy a cup of coffee. No doubt it helped that he refers to his mistakes, his awkwardness and his geeky (a common interest!) in ways that make him seem utterly approachable. While My Life on the Swingset might not be an instructional manual, there is a lesson to be learned from this: anyone can be a swinger. It’s not a lifestyle from which you should exclude yourself if you’re interested.
There are other lessons to be found in this book, which was a quick and enjoyable read. Cooper walks us through his experimentation with swinging and the true difficulties that lay ahead for him and his now ex-wife. He talks about new relationships, becoming polyamorous and discovering himself as a bisexual man in a scene that so often discriminates against that sort of creature.
The inside look shows the sort of prejudices even swingers and self-proclaimed sex-positive kinksters can hold and use against one another, and as Beckett moves between the different types of open relationships, he shows this with honesty. Could it possibly offend some people who only want to paint the perfect picture of this lifestyle? Perhaps. But Cooper Beckett is human, after all, just like all of us any anyone who might be in any sort of open relationship. And Cooper isn’t afraid to call those humans his friends or name drop where it’s appropriate. My reading list has grown from suggestions mentioned in these pages alone.
Honesty is key to the stories told within these pages. It makes them enjoyable, and it also makes Cooper seem like the type of person I’d like to better know. Cooper also does his own self-discovery, and he reiterates how becoming polyamorous has helped him learn more about himself. There’s a child-like amazement that, even as his age, he can grow and learn about himself. It’s something that I also love about being alive.
Ultimately, ending My Life On the Swingset was like finishing an amazing conversation with a person who completely surprised me. It finished too soon, and I was sad. But the bitter was married with sweet; surely there will be other chances to pick up the conversation again. And if Cooper’s ultimate goal was to draw me in, make me a friend and motivate me to stop by the website to continue that conversation, I think we can call My Life on the Swingset a success!
Uberlube
$19
from Good Vibes
Edit: I have since found that Uberlube works pretty well with wooden dildos, which for some reason, do not seem to work well with water-based lubes. And since Uberlube is a pure silicone product, it’s good even if you keep it on the shelf for more than three years!
It must be hard being silicone lube in my possession. First, it sits on my counter or my table for a few days. Days turn into weeks, and the lube makes its way into my bedroom. There, it sits on my dresser before taking months to move to my nightstand, where it will sit a while more until I can think about using it.
You see, it doesn’t matter if you’re nice and slick, perfect for partner vaginal or anal sex. Long-lasting doesn’t matter. A lack of stick is just great.. someone else. Silicone lube can be compatible with most of my toys and all condoms, and it can come in a cute pump bottle that’s also made of glass. An ingredient list that’s short and easy to pronounce should be something that I approve of. But none of that just really matters.
At the end of the day, silicone-based lubes get the short end of the stick because they feel so artificial to me. There’s no way around it. Water-based lubes are shorter lasting and become sticky as they dry, but it feels closer to my natural lubrication. It’s more natural feeling, less like a plastic bag in my vagina.
So, you see, UberLube didn’t have a chance. Umlaut and everything, I still wasn’t swayed. It was just another silicone-based lube that will likely collect dust because I don’t particularly care for that type of lube. I don’t like how it feels inside me, on my hands or on my toys despite how often and long I’ve washed them.
