Below you’ll find all of the sex toy reviews I’ve written at Of Sex and Love. Find my opinions on vibrators, dildos, media (sex education books, porn, DVDs and erotica), bondage and BDSM gear, lingerie, anal toys, lube, massage products, and more!
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I’m not going to pull your leg. I think this is a weird toy idea to begin with, but if it had any chance of succeeding, it probably isn’t with the design that Maia Toys decided to go with — sorry guys.
So, this is a vibrator molded into something like kegel balls. The balls are coated with a velvety silicone that thins out to create a connector in the center. While it is The whole The balls are designed so that they’re flatter on one side than the other, which makes them oblong and not quite balls in reality.
The design is also a noticeably than most kegel balls. In the photo below, I’ve paired them next to my K-balls, which are roughly the same size s most “full-sized” vag balls. Ignore how much my flash washed out the colors. They measure 5″ long from end to end. At the widest, each ball has a diameter of about 1.5 inches. It’s difficult to fully measure the length of each ball because they’re oblong, but the connector in the middle is no longer than one inch.
If you’ve already had trouble with the Luna Beads or Smartballs, then these aren’t the ones for you. I knew I wouldn’t even be able to insert both balls, so it was only one. What this means is that you’re going to be awkwardly waddling around your life if you try to keep these balls inserted for passive PC exercises as you go about your day. It’s possible with other PC exercisors, but not these. That’s a shame, because I think it really reduces their functionality.
On the other hand, if you only want to exercise your PC muscles while lying down in a comfortable position, you could grasp the outer ball and pull for a more intense workout. I’m lazy. This is the only reason I use vag balls, so this is kind of a no go for me personally. I think a single “ball” design might be easier for this idea, but then you’d have the problem of controlling it..
As this is a vibrator, you have to insert batteries and turn it on. One end of one ball is a plastic silver cap. There’s a matching “cap” on the other ball, but it’s not functional. This one runs on two LR1 batteries, which must have come with the vibrator itself because I don’t remember having any. I also don’t remember getting them. The cap uses a half-turn style, and it’s super finicky. I find it hard to get a good grip on it and turn. You have to use two hands without exception. The battery cap also serves as the controls. A partial turn locks the cap in place, but if you keep turning it, it turns on. It’s not very handy at all, and I loathe toys that I have to turn on before insertion because of poor design.
Also? I keep grabbing the wrong end to remove batteries, and I feel like I’m going to break this.
And when it’s on? The vibrations are buzzy and weak. The vibes tickles my hand. Ugh. They focus in the ball that doesn’t have the batteries, so at least it will be inserted. There’s a terrible rattle, too. On the other end, there’s this little plastic “window” that serves no purpose that I can understand. On mine, it’s not fully attached, so it sort of bounces around the casing of the ball. In fact, it does this if you just shake the toy.
Of course, there’s only a single level of vibrations, and the sound output is just unacceptable. Even if these were smaller and I could fully insert them, I would never wear them out like you might with other kegel balls. People would be like “yo, Imma let you finish, but you forgot your vibrator lady.”
You could use the Sensor Vibrating Vagina Balls without the vibrations turned on, which I’d love to recommend, but the size is going to prevent me from doing soy.
I think it’s great that Maia Toys is trying to do something with an old standby, but I’m just not sure that the company hit the nail on the head with this idea.
maia marcia vibrator
$28.32
from Amazon
You know what? I love pink. I like pink toys. The color is used so much, but I can eschew traditional gender roles while also matching some of the stereotypes, can’t it? With that said, this vibrator — and all of the designs by Maia Toys — come in some awesome colors. This one is also available in yellow, which you can try to win in this giveaway.
But the one I kept to review was bright freakin’ pink, and the company makes separate packaging that matches the color of your toy. This, while not necessary, feels extra special to me. Aside from the packaging and color, I just liked the design of most of these toys. It reminds me a little bit of Lelo’s toys. There’s clean, sleek lines, and I appreciate that.
This simple vibrator, for example, has a gently curving shaft. The base curves in the other direction at the tip, which gives it a lazy “S” shape. The shaft is rounded, while the base is angled, though, so it’s not perfectly symmetrical. The two parts are separated by a silver band, which is intended to add to the sophisticated appearance. There are crevices around the band and buttons where lubes and liquids could squeeze in. You may not find that these areas on the shaft and base get wet, but it’s worth noting.
In terms of design, there are two oval “cutouts” on the back. There’s a longer one on the shaft and a shorter one on the base, and it’s weird. It doesn’t add anything for me either physically or aesthetically.
However, I do feel as though the control panel dampens this effect just a bit. There are four buttons in silvery-grey plastic, and it just feels a little cheap looking.
The buttons serve as on, off and up and down vibrations. They’re easy to understand, and there’s physical feedback when you press them. Plus, the text and arrows on the buttons isn’t as crisp and clean as it should be, both in printing and design. It almost looks oddly hand written. A red LED glows behind the panel. It glows bright with each of the four levels.
In terms of vibrations, the MV1 is a little disappointing. They’re weak and buzzy. There isn’t a lot of difference between them, and I didn’t find them satisfying.
However, that’s not the case with the girth. It’s got a solid 1.6″ diameter at its widest; although, the shaft isn’t perfectly round. It tapers slightly toward the end of the shaft, but it’s not a tiny vibrator. I find that the squishy silicone, which has give when you squeeze it, feels larger than it is. This usually isn’t the case with softer materials, and the silky smooth silicone doesn’t cause a lot of drag. However, I found that awkawrd suction effect during removal, which I hate.
The battery pack isn’t at the end of the toy, but it’s in the metal by the silver band. It’s one of those half-twist styles, and it’s easy to line up, but it feels crooked at first. There’s a bit of an O-ring, but the battery area is shallow. In terms of construction, this area seems like the weakest in the construction. Even though I don’t love the vibrations, this is put together fairly well.
For the freshman effort by Maia Toys, this isn’t a complete failure. Design and ease of use are great. More power and perhaps some sleeker buttons would give this a better grade, but it does pass. The stores that sell this have it around $60. A drop to the $50 range would be more appropriate in my mind, however.
Nevertheless, I’m excited to write about the other items I’ve received from this company. I’ll also be uploading some photos to my Facebook page of the details because I’m feeling a little too exhausted to do so now.
It isn’t so often that I lust over a toy like I did with Minna Ola. It just seemed so new and interesting. Sure, I’ve tried plenty of G-spot vibes, but I haven’t had one that let me customize my pleasure the way that Minna Ola does. So I spent my own money, er gift cards, on it. I don’t do that frequently.
And then I promptly started to hate it. I don’t know, maybe “hate” is a strong word, but I don’t like it very much. I guess I just don’t like toys that require quite so much thought and effort. Ugh. Let me explain.
Instead of a vibrator that you simply turn on, this one has a power button. Then, you have to squeeze a portion of the handle to turn on and increase the vibrations. Minna calls this the “soft spot,” and it’s actually soft to the touch.It uses air to inflate and deflate, which means it might deflate when you change elevations. Charging it will fix this.
A light squeeze turns on light vibrations. You have to squeeze it all the way to turn it up. This means you can create any sensation that you’d like, but I really don’t like this. I just want steady vibrations. I’m not much for escalation or pulsation, which I’ve mentioned before.
So, you can hold it steady on high, but this really hurts my fingers after some time. I don’t think that people with arthritis will like Minna Ola for exactly this reason. There’s a feature that allows you to record and repeat settings. This has a lot of potential, but you can only record one. Unfortunately, you’ll have to either be happy with that or simply record “over” it every time you want something different.
The setup also means there’s nothing besides steady vibrations if you don’t create them. You can see why I don’t like all the effort this requires. And the vibrations? While moderate in strength and depth really aren’t as impressive as I’d like with a toy.
However, there is one thing that I like about Minna Ola. Because of the part you squeeze, the hand bends up and toward you when the shaft is against your G-spot. I love this. It makes controlling it much easier than it’s ever been for me before. I wish all vibrators were like this.
Speaking of the shaft, it has an ever-so-slight G-spot curve, but it’s not extreme. I found Minna could hit the spot, but it’s not going to work for everyone. The rounded tip also works for clitoral stimulation, but it’s not as strong as I’d like for external use.
There’s a light seam along the side, but I didn’t feel it. Otherwise, it’s silky smooth and doesn’t require a lot of lube for insertion. At 1.25″ in diameter, the oblong shape of Minna Ola actually felt a little small to me. You can insert 5.5″, which is pretty ideal for me.
All of this came with a storage bag and charger in an awkward cardboard tube, much like those you’d use for posters. It’s different, but that doesn’t make me love it. You can reuse it, but it’s much bigger than the toy. There’s a lot of wasted space and material. While you could use it for storage, I would prefer not to for this very reason. Plus, shipping boxes must be that much larger because of the tube package.
Okay, but who will like the Minna Ola?
If you want customization and absolute control, I can see you liking it. If you don’t need extreme vibrations, give it a try. If you like experimenting and want something new, you might like it better than I did. Plus, Minna Ola is made of silicone and uses magnetic charging, so it’s waterproof. The smaller size means size queens won’t like this, but many people want high-quality toys that aren’t huge.
But the high price means that I’d hesitate recommending Minna Ola to anyone who doesn’t meet all of those requirements.
I’ve come down with an awful cold, so this one’s going to be a quick one.
The gyrating hummer is not the type of vibe I’d pick for myself. You see, it’s weird shaped. I mean, I’m not into spoon/scoop shaped toys, and I don’t get the point of the little pokey dimple on the back. Whenever I look at this toy from the side, all I can imagine is a Shyguy — and not in the good way! Plus, for a toy that I wouldn’t want to insert, it just seems a little long for external use. It seems reasonable that CEN could save some time and materials by making this vibrator a little shorter. It doesn’t need to be longer than six inches. Then again, I just don’t get this whole “clit huggers” thing. Can someone please fill me in? Or not. I don’t really care. At least it doesn’t use AAA batteries.
So here’s some things that work in this toy’s favor:
Really, I expected this to be a buzzy little thing, but the vibrations are impressively deep. They’re not the strongest ever, but I was taken aback. It makes me wish that I liked the shape better, but I just don’t. I don’t want to cup or surround my clit. I want firm pressure, which this toy just cannot provide.
But there’s plenty of things that suck about this toy:
Ultimately, however, it’s cheap. That’s what we gotta focus on. For less than $20, you really could do worse. If the shape somehow works for you, then go for it. I need something else, but I think I could have liked aspects of this toy if I hadn’t already tried hundreds.
Icicles No. 39
$25.02
from Of Sex and Love store
I have written many reviews for underpowered, overpriced, poor-quality and other sex toys with simply poor designs. I’ve had defects, but I’ve never had one break on me, despite the fact that I’ve reviewed more than my fair share of glass dildos over the years. What makes this even worse is that this dildo broke before I was technically able to use it. I took a picture and put the dildo away for a while.
Then, I got it out and went to wash it. While it was under the stream of water already in the basin of the sink, fell a few inches and broke. The flat ring of the handle broke off from the corkwscrew shaft. A tiny piece chipped and fell down my drain, so while I can piece these back together and maybe even super glue it, I don’t think it’s worth dealing with.
Now, it didn’t shatter or break in use, but I’ve dropped more than one piece of glass into my sink and even on the floor without it breaking on me. While this dildo broke as the thinnest point, I still feel it warrants discussion. Is this an issue with the dildo I received? Is it a problem with this particular design because the ring is so narrow? Or are Icicles dildos in general something we should stay away from? I don’t want to write them off entirely, but this makes me wary.
Before it broke, Icicles 39 really was gorgeous. The black glass is opaque. It’s super shiny and sleek. The corkscrew design is unique and it wasn’t hard to take a decent picture before it broke.
Pipedream is really trying to up their game. My dildo came in a foam insert in a long, narrow box. There’s a magnetic “flap” that you open to see a window surrounded by a black-on-black pattern. It’s all very sophisticated. Sadly, it’s all for show because Pipedream includes no storage and..
The dildo really didn’t work for me. Yes, I still use it — carefully — after it broke. I found the shape to be noticeable but not in a way that was especially pleasurable. The problem with it is that it’s just so narrow. I really had to press the straight shaft to stimulate my G-spot and this was due to the narrowness of this. While this makes it a good dildo for people who like smaller toys, it’s going to wind up disappointing size queens. I don’t even consider myself one of those, but this thing is a maximum of 1″ or so and it starts around half that. With 6″ or so insertable, the taper is super gradual, but the lack of girth and curve means it’s less than ideal for me personally.
So, this went in the trash for obvious reasons, but if you were to buy this, cleaning is a breeze. Storage? Well, you want something padded, that’s for sure.
I’m wary of quality, but I think someone could like this dildo. It’s just not me.
Star Delight Clear Dildo
It appears that this toy is no longer available.
My first Crystal Delights dildo was a success, but I feel like I would have enjoyed it more had I been able to use it on someone else. The pretty Swarovski jewels at the end are totally lost on me, unless I display it as a piece of art in my living room. I just might. Although, the blue almost exactly matches my nails.
The Star Delight specifically is a glass dildo with a contoured head and bulges on the shaft. The flared based makes it pretty safe for anal, and while the shaft lacks any sort of G-spot curve, the contoured head was enough to make me squirt within minutes. The bulbs are impossible to ignore, but I slightly prefer ridges for actual pleasure. Six inches to thrust with is plenty, and the glass has a heft to it that I enjoy.
The base makes it easy to hold, and I was able to insert this 1.4-inch dildo with no warm-up and a little lube. Cleaning is easy no matter how you do it, and Crystal Delights includes this storage pouch, which I just love. It’s like a burrito of happiness.
Good dildo? Yes. Better than any I’ve tried before? No? Prettier? Why don’t you come find out.
Luxe Euphoria
$30.64
from Of Sex and Love Store
In the past, I haven’t loved other Luxe toys I’ve tried. I think they’re all super cute, but they also only run on 2AAAs. That pretty much sums up my experience with the Luxe Euphoria.
And when I try to describe what this thing looks like, I just want to say:
If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and sounds like a duck.. it’s a vibrator?
I mean, it’s really got a face. California Exotics is taking a cue from the Japanese, I guess. There’s head and a little bill with which you can stimulate yourself. Maybe it’s a platypus. Then, it straightens out for you to hold it. It’s cute. I wouldn’t have picked out this shape, but something about it makes me smile despite myself. Like, maybe I want to do shadow puppets with it.
Sadly, I don’t really want to masturbate it because it’s just too weak for me. Yea, we all saw that coming. Two tiny batteries, and it barely feels like it’s turned on. Oddly enough, mine came with one of the tester batteries. I’m sure people will freak out about the toys being used, but they all get tested before sent out. Oh well, free battery?
I wish it was stronger, though, because that duck face could actually work. I can sort of curve my finger over the top of the head toward the bill, which gives me leverage for a little pressure. The bill offers pinpoint stimulation, which isn’t my favorite, but the silicone is firm with a little give. However, this means that my palm is over the controls. I have a hard time with buttons because I have to use my fingers for pressure and I want the buttons to be accessible but not exactly where I’m going to hold the toy down– I’m talking to you, Lelo.
CEN has gone with the two-button style: a master power button and another button that cycles through all the settings. It’s annoying when there’s many settings, but the Luxe Euphoria has only seven:
The batteries are woefully inadequate, and while there’s a red LED below the buttons, it seems like mine might be defective. It doesn’t shine under both, only sort of in the middle. If this is the design, it really doesn’t help to illuminate the buttons.
California Exotics has done something new with the battery cap, as far as I recall, and I hate it. Instead of being able to screw it off, you have one of those little covers with the springy part like your remote control. It’s on the “tail” of the duck and almost so flush that you can’t find it. I actually like that it’s so seamless, but it makes it difficult to find, and the springy part you need to push to open it. The cover pops straight up, and I have a hard time getting it back on. I think I’m using to things that angle into place. It’s just different, I suppose.
The seamlessness probably lends to the waterproofiness of this toy. There’s not a single O-ring. Rather, the entire battery connection part on the cap is surrounded by a layer or silicone or TPR. It seems pretty secure, to be honest. I wouldn’t use this toy in the shower — you wouldn’t feel it with the water — but it’s easy to clean.
I do love the texture of this. Both the silicone and plastic have a velvety treatment. While the plastic is rigid, it has the same texture as the silicone. This, I like. There’s a silver “collar” that’s made of plastic and runs around the duck’s neck. This is definitely the weak point of the design. Not only can I see seams, but I can see the glue. Eeps!
This toy isn’t something I’d pay $30 for, especially knowing what I need, but CEN has made some good strides with this, even if it’s the odd duck out.
