Posh Teaser 2

November 28th, 2012

Posh Silicone Teaser Blue

Posh Silicone Teaser Blue
$28.20 from Of Sex and Love Store

I wasn’t super enamored with any of the Posh line of toys from California Exotics. It’s good that they’re silicone, and the price isn’t too bad, but they all looked a little generic. I’d rather have a super strong rechargeable, I guess. So I was surprised when I received the Teaser 2 in blue and I like I’d underestimated it. It’s less tiny and, well, dinky. It feels more significant in my hand. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to throw out my Mona or anything because, well, it’ll never happen. Others are still better at what I need them to do, but I think CEN is making some toys that are definitely wallet-friendly, good for beginners and worth keeping around for as long as they’ll last. The Posh Teaser 2 might be one of those.

THe Posh Teaser has an interesting textured. It’s a series of bulbs along the 5″ shaft. There’s some wavy swirls that are interesting to my eyes but, as is usually the case, don’t add much for my vagina. Still, the head is the biggest bulb of all and adds some G-spot action. The silicone does have a lot of drag, though, and it’s prone to collect lint. You’ll want to use a nice dose of water-based lube, even though the that is 1.5″ wide at its most. Really, the majority of the shaft is about 1″ long, which makes this good for people who don’t like to feel like a subway train is trying to squeeze through their lady parts. You’re welcome for the visual.

Another thing I like about this toy is the LED ring that surrounds the button on the base. I will never see it in use, but it pulsates with the setting, and I feel like I’m ready for anything? You don’t need a flashlight, guys, I’ve got my sex toy. I’m not familiar with seizures, but if you’re photosensitive, you won’t want to look at the base of the toy. There’s some serious flashing going on. And it’s bright. B-r-i-g-h-t.

Except for the head, which has some give when squeeze it and can bend just a few degrees, the silicone covers a rigid inner mechanism. But it’s plush all around and doesn’t feel hard, just ungiving beneath.

I’m also not shatteringly-disappointed with the strength of the vibrations. It’s only powered by 2 AAAs, but they’re putting out some decent vibrations considering the power source. Sure, they’re buzzy, but the highest setting is okay, and the pulsations feel more effective. However, CEN did something stupid, here. They put the highest setting first, so when you press the button, you wind up turning it down. Um, that makes no sense. M I Rite? Right. So once you’re all buttered up and want to increase the settings, you’re disappointed to find out that’s all there is. It’s not the first time a vibrator has worked like this but it should be the last, god damn it.

There are seven different pulsation settings to this toy, which is more than enough. They’re fast, slow and everything in between. I’m not really won over by pulsing, though, so this might be more your thing than it is mine. The Posh Teaser 2 remembers your setting when you turn it off, which might be good if you like those settings. Otherwise, you’d have to cycle through them all again.

For the power output, this is a little loud. I don’t think the vibe should be any louder than it is on its weakest setting, which says something. It’s not a chainsaw, but it’s definitely not “whisper quiet.” Unless, maybe, you know those people who whisper yell.

I don’t use my toys in the shower and have no tub, but CEN calls it waterproof. The battery cap twists on normally — none of that half twist BS — and there’s an O-ring permanently attached. I wouldn’t submerge it in the ocean, but you can test its waterproofiness all you want. It’s nothing I’d worry about in the shower, though, and it makes cleaning with soap and water easy. Unfortunately, you’ll need to watch the lint off of this before you use it if you don’t keep it in a Ziploc bag.

I’m not going to default to the Posh Teaser 2 over any of my other toys, but I’d pass mine on to someone in need, and I’d absolutely recommend it to anyone in need of a cheaper, G-spot dildo. That’s quite the endorsement.

CEN Sexpert

 

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Lelo Mona 2

October 12th, 2012

Mona 2

Mona 2
$139 from Lelo

I like the Mona 2, but it’s just so similar to the original that I feel like I don’t have much to say that’s new. So, I think I’ll start with..

What’s Different Between Mona and Mona 2

You can definitely see the relation here, but they’re not identical. The Mona 2 is a bit longer, for example. It has a longer insertable length: 5 1/4″ versus 4″. Mona is also slightly narrower. It’s not much, but the design seems to flatten out less on the insertable portion than it does with the original Mona. I think this lends a sleeker appearance, and it reminds me much more of Lelo’s Elise (which also has been recently revamped). The G-spot angle is also slightly more extreme. I didn’t have any difficulty reaching mine with the original Mona, but this might be ideal for others.

Mona (Red) and Mona 2

The silicone on the Mona 2 is a bit plusher. It’s still around a rigid internal mechanism, but it’s slightly thicker. You can push it into with your fingers in a way that you can’t with the first Mona. This might not be noticeable for some people, and I didn’t necessarily notice it while inserted. However, it might appeal to anyone who doesn’t like their silicone rock-hard. I thought the silicone seemed more plush in product photos, but it’s a bit hard to tell with all the digital airbrushing.

Lelo has decided to go ahead and release these new Monas with some different colors. There’s a hot pink, which I received, a cherry red and a grapey purple. The red seems more pinkish than my other Mona and Siri. This is sad news for anyone who loved the unique colors of the original Mona and Ina. However, I love the pink as I’ve previously mentioned.

While the controls remains absolutely the same with this vibrator, Lelo has increased the vibration strength noticeably. A side-by-side mistaken is impossible to deny. Mona 2 has more power and it still feels a bit rumbly. I appreciate the strides Lelo has made to keep up with companies like Fun Factory. However, it’s not the strongest toy I own, nor does Mona 2 have the deepest vibrations.

Mona (Red) and Mona 2

Finally, Mona 2 differs from Mona in that it has a different storage pouch. My original Mona has black satin on the outside and white on the inside. It’s so incredibly classy. The plain black satin isn’t less classy, and I imagine it’s a whole lot cheaper, but it’s also not quite as nice in my opinion. It’s fully functional either way.

There are minor cosmetic differences. The angle at which the plastic and silicone meets is different with the Mona 2. It feels slightly more seamless than the original. This is partially why the Mona 2 has more insertable length, too. The plastic portion is shorter on the Mona 2 while the neck of the shaft has a greater length.

Everything else, though, right now to my experience, feels exactly the same. Mona and Mona 2 both make me squirt– in a matter of seconds. There’s no learning curve. I need little lube for insertion. The buttons are a soft silicone that is easy to find amidst the hard plastic base of the vibrator. The charting port is covered with another piece of soft silicone. Although I haven’t tried it, I wouldn’t be surprised if you could use the exact same charger for both toys. However, Mona 2 did seem to charge amazingly fast. I swear it was less than an hour, but I didn’t pay close attention to the time.

Like the original, Mona 2’s steady vibrations are the best for me. There’s a serious of short and long pulsations followed by some escalation but none of those settings really do a lot for me. As far as I can tell, the different modes number five, including steady vibes. There’s about ten levels of vibration on steady, but the pulsation don’t seem to have as many strengths. The lower ones feel more rumbly, and the stronger settings definitely tickle your hand.

All in all, the Mona 2 is a nice vibrator. Given the current price drop for the original, I’d recommend you save a few bucks and get the Mona as long as it’s available. However, I would be much more impressed with the Mona 2 if it weren’t for one thing.

Mona and Mona 2

This vibrator has a distracting rattle that I just can’t get over. It’s stupidly noticeable. It sounds like some extra piece is flying around the shaft. I hate it. Mona 2 might look slicker but it certainly feels like the first age of digital vibrators, and I can’t justify the price

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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Big Boss

September 10th, 2012

Fun Factory G4 Big Boss

Fun Factory G4 Big Boss
$109 from Of Sex and Love Store

I know, I’m ridiculous. This review has been a long time coming. A long time. But it’s one that I wanted to write for a couple reasons, mostly because I quite like this toy and also because the comparison to the Big Boss is necessary. With a capital N. I loved my original Boss. In fact, that was the very name of the review. It remains a toy that’s pretty firm and pretty large, something that usually makes me hate all other toys, but I like the Boss. I like Fun Factory. I liked the vibrations. I liked the little clitoral nub, and I liked fucking myself with this vibrator. Got it? Okay.

So, I wanted to see if I’d like the Big Boss better. And was it really bigger? And would it be stronger or buzzier as a rechargeable version?

First things first. The Big Boss is bigger than the Boss. I’ve read more than one review that claims otherwise. Shut the fuck up, morons. The Boss has a slightly-smaller 1.6″ diameter. The Big Boss upgrades this to 1.75″. Neither are the biggest toys ever, but the silicone remains the same on both models. You can bend the shaft slightly but it’s pretty firm. Fun Factory’s finish also creates a lot of drag that makes insertion pretty difficult. Not everyone likes it. I’m not going to lie to you all: I barely got this thing in. If G-spot stimulation were the end-all and be-all, this toy would have failed. It really would have. The Big Boss is too big for my tiny vagina (vaginy?!?) at the point. Now, if I were having sex or constantly using insertables or didn’t develop spasms at the thought of warming up, this wouldn’t be the case, but the Big Boss is a solid toy, and I just can’t do it. But that’s my fault, not it’s fault.

By the time I got anything inserted, I felt like I’d used an entire bottle of lube. It was only like 1/4, but, you know, I was all sorts of slippery. This was a freakin’ masturbation adventure, and who doesn’t like adventures?! The contoured head of this and a little lube and my clit is, like, the best adventure I’ve ever been on. I know, I know, this is an internal vibrator, but it works pretty damned well on my clit, and that’s precisely why I’ll be keeping it around. Even if it doesn’t work for its intended purpose, the Big Boss works damned well for other purposes. Multitasking motherfucker.

The Big Boss is also molded differently from the original. You might not even realize it from the pictures, but I noticed it. The one feature that I really liked with the Boss is that little clitoral nub. The shaft curves slightly, and on the inside of the curve is a little nub. It’s the result of two ridges that run parallel gently swooping together toward the handle/base of the vibe.. and it does nothing if you insert this straight, but I would insert the boss only halfway and, then, pull the rest upward, which allowed my clit to enjoy the pressure of the nub.

Unfortunately, the Big Boss pays homage but fails at offering any clitoral stimulation. The Big Boss has a ride on the outside of the curve, and I couldn’t feel it at all. On the whole, the Big Boss is straighter, while the original has a relaxed “S” shape. There’s this decorative ridge that gives the impression of a nub toward the base, but it does jack shit for my clit. I am ranting in rhymes. That’s how much it sucks. I don’t know why Fun Factory deviated but they were wrong.

However, I like the move to rechargeable. The original used the same buttons, with the addition of a boost button. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to have to push down an extra button when I want extra juice. That’s lame. All the buttons were stupidly difficult to press to boot. This isn’t the case with the Big Boss. The buttons are soft and responsive, and the base has that light that turns one when you touch it. All in all, it’s a vast improved. I do find the looped handle better in theory than practice. My arms, hands and fingers just don’t work at the right angles to work it, but it’s not like I can’t use the vibrator.

This used Fun Factory’s magnetic charger. It means the thing is waterproof if you want to go deep-sea diving with your Big Boss–I joke. It’s probably not that waterproof, and you don’t want fish poop in your vaginy–you can. The charger is finicky, though. You need to line it up just right and make sure not to bump it. You’ll probably want to check on it every so often to make sure it’s still charging. I say this from experience.

So does this produce a vibration that satisfies me? Yes. The Big Boss is definitely stronger than its predecessor. When I hold them both, I can feel it. The Big Boss is also a little buzzier. Normally, this would be a con, but I can’t fault it. Most manufacturers only give us strong and super buzzy, so I’ll accept this level of vibration. The comparison makes me realize, however, that giving the original a 4/5 stars for vibration was really generous. It’s probably only a three; although, the vibrations are the deep kind that I like. The newest model is a buzzy 4-ish. It’s no Hitachi, but it’ll do pig, it’ll do.

The Big Boss also slightly annoys me with the digital motor whine. Mine doesn’t seem cheap, per se, but it seems like something is loose-ish. I can’t say if it’s just mine or the whole line. My G4 Calla didn’t seem that way at all. Regardless, it wasn’t anything so distracting that I couldn’t enjoy the Big Boss. Ultimately, I have a lot of little complaints, and they wold have resulted in a negative review for any other toy. The Big Boss didn’t do what I expected, but after a night with it, I was still flushed and sweating and on the other side of several orgasms. Who am I to complain?!

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Body and Soul Connection Vibrator

August 18th, 2012

Body & Soul Connection

Body & Soul Connection
$25 from Amazon

This vibe either looks like the eyeball guy from Aah! Real Monsters or a laser robot from the video game Portal. The latter is exactly why I requested to review it, even though another model in the line up looks slightly more turret-like. Unfortunately, all the reasons that would have caused me to pass up this sex toy are exactly the reasons I should have.

It took me less than thirty seconds to realize this, honestly. The vibrations, powered by 2AAA batteries are super buzzy. Although it’s easy enough to switch through them with the single button, there’s not much difference between any of the settings, except for the horrible whine that I could hear over music that I was listening to at the moment. This was common in Lelo’s old toys, but it bugs me whether a toy costs less than $50 or more than $100.

The vibrations are so buzzy that I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me this was powered by watch batteries. In fact, my body simply stopped being able to feel the vibrations after a few seconds. I kid you not. While the rabbit-ear-like attachments are flexible and rounded in a way that surrounds the clitoris nicely, but the depth of the vibrations is simply too high-pitched to to anything. Honestly, I think I might have liked this a bit more, if the vibrations had been deeper. I’m not surprised that they weren’t. Some folks would suggest that this is “Great for newbies”, but I just can’t see how this vibe is all that good for anyone. Does a person exist who is really, honestly that sensitive?!

Still, while I don’t normally like fluttering rabbit ears, the arms on this guy are a little less flexible. They don’t flop back and forth, and they’re wider, so they really hug my clit in a way that could be effective. I usually like pressure, though, and this design really doesn’t offer that. However, I do like that the single push-button works well when you turn the toy around. There’s technically two ways you can hold this flat against your body/around your clit, and this lets you find the best position for the button.

Connection's annoying battery packThis toy is kind of like the less awesome version of the Form 2, which I already didn’t like and have recently swapped away. The plastic base is round, and this toy is bigger so it’s easier for me to hold. However, you have to twist the bottom directly off from the top to insert the (useless) batteries. The whole thing is awkward, and it uses that quarter-twist style that I always have trouble lining up. Plus, the batteries sit in there vertically, without much support. They fall out pretty easily. Obnoxious, dudes.

At least Jimmyjane got the quality down. The Connection has soft silicone up top and shiny plastic on the bottom, and it’s not seamless in the least. In fact, there’s a visible line between the two portions of the toy, and it looks like a gout line full of gunk. Upon closer inspection, it’s not filled with gunk–thank God!–it’s just that the cut of the plastic is super sloppy. This toy feels low-quality now matter how you cut it.

Given the vibrations and the poor quality, I’m surprised by the MSRP. Luckily, sellers on Amazon offer this for less than half. I don’t know if I’d even spend $25 on this, but that’s a smaller hit to your wallet, if you’re convinced this will work for you.

Am I surprised though? Eh, not really. I almost always need something that uses AAs. The shape here does have some redeeming qualities, but it can’t overshadow all the things that bother me about the Body & Soul Connection.

CEN Sexpert

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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Wanachi Rechargeable Massager

July 27th, 2012

Wanachi Rechargeable Massager

Wanachi Rechargeable Massager
$43.96 from Adult Sensations

I’m not going to lie, part of the reason I requested to review the Wanachi Rechargeable Massager is simply because I remember them showcasing it on that one sex toy shopping TV show, the name of which completely escapes me now. I can literally hear one of the hostesses talking about it and, you know, I thought it might be nice to have a rechargeable full-size massager. Both of mine, while powerful and small, require me to tether myself to the outlet. I have pulled my Miracle Massager cord out of the outlet more than once, guys.

As is there were any doubt from the name, this is Pipedream’s Hitachi knockoff. There’s really not much difference as far as I can tell; although I’ve never used a Hitachi. I don’t think I would want to now, to be honest. The box for this vibrator was huge because, well, the vibrator itself isn’t a petite thing. It’s heavier, longer and wider than my Miracle Massager… even combined with my Inspire. I was just not prepared for this monstrosity. The head of this massager is like the size of my fist.

I also wasn’t surprised for it to be charged. I’ve gotten lucky with toys that way, lately. They usually aren’t but this one was. A slider switch let me easily move between the two settings.. and I was immediately disappointed. The vibrations on the lower setting weren’t any stronger than some vibes that take 2AAs or 3 or 4 AAAs. They weren’t as buzzy, sure, but they were just plain weak. Any of the Jopen vibrators blow this one right out of the water.

On the high setting, it wasn’t quite so bad… but it was still like the low on my Miracle Massager or Inspire. The vibrations of the Wanachi Rechargeable Massager were so lackluster that I plugged it in, thinking maybe it wasn’t charged all the way. Unfortunately, it was.

I wish my disappointment ended there, but it doesn’t. I was resting this hulk (hey, they should make it green!) against my clit, and the edge of the head was doing okay for me, when it just died. Now, I think I’d gotten off once or twice, and I sort of wasn’t paying attention as I finished The Great Gatsby, but the vibrator died well within 30 minutes. That’s right, after I double-charged the thing, it just died.

Now, I wish I could say “whoa! these guys says I should get 3 hours of time,” but I can’t. Honestly, the product description is so freakin’ vague. I’m not sure what the advertised amount of usage is, or how long Pipedream recommends that I charge this vibrator for. Regardless, it wasn’t strong, small, quiet or long-lived enough for my tastes. The only way in which this massager really didn’t disappoint me is with its flexible neck. It’s super flexible. Way more than the Inspire.

I think you might assume that it’s as strong as the Hitachi, but it’s just not. If you want cord-free, take any vibrator that runs on 2AAs. It’ll do you better than the Wanachi Rechargeable Massager, by far.

[Edit]

Oh my god, you guys. This thing is a fuckin’ zombie. I accidentally bumped it on my nightstand, and it works again! I didn’t charge it, I just turned it on and it worked. I’ve been able to get a few more sessions of use out of it. While it’s still weaker than you’d expect, it apparently works longer. I just don’t know why. Perhaps it overheated the first time, which is definitely not a sign of quality. Your guess is as good as mine.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Tantus Splish

July 10th, 2012

Tantus Splish

Tantus Splish
N/A from

While Tantus no longer makes the dual-colored Splish, you can pick up the similar Mini Magma in black or silver for under $30.

Sometimes Tantus makes two very similar toys, like the Flurry and Cush, and you have to try them both to see which one is the best fit. Sometimes they make two toys with a design as similar as the sizes differ. This is the case with the Splish and the Splash. The splish makes a little splish, were you to throw it in a lake. Although, that would be a waste of good silicone. Both dildos have this awesome drippy candle-waxy appearance that is aesthetically pleasing and super easy to feel when inserted. It works really well with the radiant of the silicone, too. These dildos are fucking works of art, man.

The major difference is that Splish is just 4.5″ long and 1″ in diameter. That’s way less than half and inch. It’s tiny, like a finger. In fact, it doesn’t even seem 4.5″ long. It’s a squishy little bugger that you can bend right in half. See Tantus’ comparison photo here. It’s perfect for beginning anal play, but even with a flared base you probably won’t want to use it in a harness. Unless it’s a knee harness. Leverage.

The selling point is that the tiny size lets you hit exactly the right spot and it’s super flexible, too. Don’t let the straight shaft make you think it’s not a G-spotter. On the other hand, while I can easily fell the textures, it wasn’t necessarily pleasurable. It was more business than pleasure. Not my favorite type of G-spot stimulation, if you know what I mean.

The little ridges do make it slightly harder to clean than a smooth shaft, but not much. The shaft itself is pretty glossy and will attract lint, but the base is more of a matte texture. I don’t feel it during use, but it feels interesting while I wash it.

It’s interesting because I really thought I’d prefer the Splish. The Splash just seemed too much, but I think I’m leaning in that direction. Of course, if you need a Tantus toy to fit in your purse, you could do much worse than this one. Like the Delta, for example. SheVibe sells the Splish for a great price, too.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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Lelo Tiani 2

July 7th, 2012

Lelo Tiania 2

Lelo Tiania 2
$159 from Lelo

I’m not sure what took me so long to get this review out. Perhaps it’s because I hate repeating myself, and I’ve already reviewed the original Tiani. So what you need to know is that this is the same vibrator, plus power, a second attachment. There’s a few minor tweaks, but the Tiani is mostly the same toy. If you hated it before, you probably won’t love it this go around. If you wished the vibrations were deeper, they’re still not, and if you think the whole idea is stupid, well, it’s still the same idea. But here’s what I do like about the Tiani 2:

  • It’s stronger. The PR material says 55% stronger, but I think it’s more. The vibrations are still surface level, but it takes my body a little longer to become “immune.” I can actually tell the thing is on.
  • The second attachment works much better for my anatomy. The other one is slightly bulbous toward the end, where this one is a little more flat and concave. Ultimately, it feels like it’s cupping my G-spot more, and while this toy isn’t necessarily intended for thrusting, it works better this way… for me. I was actual to squirt pretty easily.
  • The flatter attachment might also be easier, if you’re having trouble with penis or toy insertion while using the Tiani 2, too. (Tutu, hehe).
  • You don’t need the remote for this one. If you’re just playing by yourself, you can press the button on the Tiani itself to go through the settings. You have more control with the remote, which is still something of a gimmick IMO, but this is a nice option.

SenseMotion is novel but not practical in the least. Thank god Lelo still allows you to use the remote normally but there’s two super weird settings you have to pass first. For starters, the first mode relies on the position of the remote. Flip it vertically to raise vibrations, back down to lower them. The controller itself vibrates to offer feedback to the user. That’s kind of a neat idea but also means the controller makes noise so that limits where and when you might be able to use the SenseMotion toys, in my opinion. In the first mode, a back and forth movement simulates pulsation. Well, sort of. There’s this bit delay of between movement and the vibration in the Tiani and it’s hard to get a good rhythm going.

The second mode, which you can activate by pressing the middle of three buttons, simply requires you to move the controller faster to increase the intensity of the vibrations. This means, that if you want to use the vibrations at the highest setting, you need to shake it pretty good.. which also works against it being inconspicuous as so many wireless vibrators aim to be. It’s also tiring and annoying.

The third mode is one where you simply press the + arrow to increase vibrations and the – arrow to decrease. It’s the one I like the most because it makes sense and doesn’t require too much concentration. I wish the controller turned onto this mode instead. There are eight settings, including pulsation and escalation and I swear the controller is more powerful than the Tiani itself.

  • You can control two Tianis with a single remote. This is a really interesting feature, and I think I need to have a threesome now, okay? However, I don’t really have the opportunity to fully explore the improvements with the range and such.

However, I do think that Lelo has overestimated the “two attachments” thing. It’s really the main one and another. “One extra” would sound more appropriate to me. Additionally, there’s still a couple of annoying things:

  • Tiani’s remote requires batteries. I found them in the box this time, though. So yay..?
  • The cover is finicky and requires a little key to open it. I chipped the paint off of mine, because the stupid cover is just cheap. Seriously, guys, cheap. Cheap. CHEAP! I feel like I’m going to break it by just looking at it.
  • Tiani 2 still comes with too much junk. I’m so over the fancy sex toy boxes, guys. Give me some cardboard and let me toss it, mmkay?

So, what do I say? Yay or nay? I still like the WeVibe better, but if you need something less powerful or if you’re heart’s set on this Lelo toy, definitely get the Tiani 2 over the original.

You’re welcome.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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