What Sex Toys Are Safe to Buy From Amazon?

October 9th, 2024

I’ve already discussed why you shouldn’t buy sex toys from Amazon. I stand by this general advice. Nothing internal. Or ingested.

That doesn’t mean you can’t outfit your nightstand or overnight bag with some things from Amazon (or even buy your nightstand or bag from the site!).

So what, if anything, do I think it’s okay to buy from Amazon?!

Books

Books are rather safe to buy on Amazon, especially if you prefer a digital version. (although you can help small brick-and-mortar stores by using Bookshop, instead). You can turn yourself on, learn how to find your G-spot, or discover your dominant persona with the help of these books. Amazon can also occasionally be helpful for finding out-of-print books because vendors can sell used copies.

Games

From sex dice to board games, Amazon has you covered. I think these games can be a good way to spice up or explore your sex life if you haven’t explored much.

Sex Toy Storage

Amazon sells all sorts of bags, boxes, and containers designed to hold your toys when not in use. For example, you can buy a Sugar Sak (or Blush’s version), which uses an antibacterial coating to keep you germ-free. Plus, toy storage is often lockable to keep your dildos and sexcessories away from prying eyes.

There are plenty of storage solutions that aren’t intended to be used with sex toys that you can coopt for that purpose, too. Epiphora makes a compelling argument about how drawer carts are one of the best ways to store your toys. You can also use shoe organizers, toolboxes, pouches, and makeup bags to store your favorite vibrator. If your bed is high enough, under-the-bed storage is a great option, too.

BDSM Gear

You can probably get by with the BDSM gear Amazon sells if you’re not doing suspension or immobilization. Most of the products that come up with a general search are brandless products from random random-letter-named vendors. This means they may not be the highest quality or match the product images. Pipedream and Calexotics both make bondage goodies that work well enough, and you can find plenty of them on Amazon’s marketplace, even if some of them are sold by “Ask Grandpa Gourmet Coffee brands.”

Amazon has restraints, blindfolds (even if they call them “sleep masks”), harnesses, bondage tape, impact play toys, cock cages, and nipple clamps, to name just a few. But if you want high-quality gear, you’re better off looking at sites like Stockroom or even Etsy.

Lingerie

Amazon has a whole section devoted to lingerie, and that includes items by reputable brands such as Dreamgirl and Seven Til Midnight. There are plenty of no-name brands, but the risks of even low-quality lingerie are minimal. At worst, lingerie may not look anything like the pictures, might be made from cheap materials, may be poorly made, or could look bad on you.

Sex Blankets

My Liberator Throw has come in handy for years. However, Amazon sells tons of waterproof blankets that are more affordable alternatives to the Liberator Throw.

Miscellaneous

I feel pretty comfortable buying some external items from Amazon.

  • Cock rings may be safe if you stick to stretchy ones unless you’re absolutely positive about your size
  • Massage stones like this one are a pretty safe bet
  • Massage candles that burn at low temperatures, like this soy candle I recommend that is available on Amazon
  • Touchless dispensers work well for lube
  • UV sanitizers come in a variety of sizes and styles, so they can fit a variety of toys to kill all the germies you can’t see and possibly double as storage

The Amazon Basics brand also makes decent rechargeable batteries. I’ve personally used them for years.

Amazon could also be a great place to get a first aid kid, paramedic sheers (including some for lefties like me), antibiotic spray, or ointment for your kinky and sexy times.

Basically, if it won’t go in you, it may be safe to buy on Amazon.

But..

A Word of Warning

Because the quality of things on Amazon may not be the best, you should carefully check toys for sharp, rough, or exposed edges. Leather, wood, plastic, and metal come to find with these imperfections, but I’ve even heard of silicone vibrators having seams so sharp they were unusable. This is especially important with impact play toys because imperfections can cause serious injury when hitting someone with an object.

Obviously, any exposed wires are a no-go. Even if they don’t shock you or burn down your house, they could become corroded.

If anything appears to be used, especially if you notice anything that could be a bodily fluid, toss it and request a refund.

Keep in mind that Amazon now sometimes ships things without any product packaging or even a shipping box if you don’t want anyone to see (or touch!) what you’re buying.

And if your order comes broken, doesn’t look like the description, performs worse than the reviews suggest, or quickly breaks, well, that’s Amazon for you!

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Categories: Shopping

Don’t Buy Sex Toys From Amazon

July 30th, 2024

Why you shouldn't buy sex toys on Amazon

I know I might sound paranoid, but I can’t recommend most toys and goodies available on Amazon in good faith, no matter how easy it is to order.

There are several good reasons to avoid buying sex toys from Amazon:

  • It might be counterfeit (images + info may be stolen from real products)
  • They might send you a used toy
  • Important material and safety information might not be available or may be purposely misleading (who knows if it’s really body-safe silicone?)
  • Products might not be safe for beginners
This listing shows a vibrator that is absolutely not safe for anal play

All of these things become even more important because I’m positive that many people head to Amazon without reading blogs about sex toys like SayOh or mine, which can help them find the best product for them and use it safely. This means shoppers lack the necessary information to make a smart purchase, let alone use a toy safely. I cannot tell you how many product listings and reviews I’ve seen that don’t offer the proper warnings! For example, anyone selling or discussing anal toys should make it clear how important a flared base or handle that is significantly larger than the neck of the toy is.

But product listings sometimes outright lie. They may say silicone, which is a fantastic material for sex toys and lube, but what you get might be porous. Even if you know what you’re looking for, ensuring you get it on Amazon is easier said than done.

All of this is complicated by the fact that Amazon is a seller and a marketplace. Sellers (also known as vendors) can list products on Amazon and either ship them directly or have Amazon handle the shipping. Sometimes, a brand sells its own products on Amazon. Other times, vendors are simply stores that sell products by other brands.

But it’s even more complicated than that. Many brands use the same manufacturers to make products and simply slap their names on the packaging even though the products are identical. These products may be decent, and they may be crap. If it’s an unknown brand, I worry about the latter. You could be happy with the product, you might feel like your money was wasted, you may need to fix an item before you use it, or you may regret your purchase and the harm it caused deeply with no recourse.

It’s also harder to tell who is selling something and where it’s coming from than it once was. When performing a search, you can select sellers (although I doubt most people do). Even if you do use that, many dropship vendors have seemingly random names like those to the right. When they violate Amazon’s terms, they just sign up with new random names with no real consequences.

The seller and shipper may impact the protections you have as a shopper. Consider the following examples of a toy sold and shipped by a vendor, a toy sold by a third-party vendor and shipped by Amazon, and a product sold and shipped by Amazon. You might feel better with third parties because they offer returns if something doesn’t work, but that also means they might send you previously used toys!

A product is more likely to come from an Amazon vendor if it has one of those string-of-text names that try to cram in as many keywords as possible (see below). Typoes are optional.

In the example above, “Mononii” is the brand, and clicking the link will take you to the “Monomii store” and show products from multiple vendors. Because vendors are terrible about tagging their products correctly (perhaps on purpose?), these brand store pages can be frustrating and may show only a fraction of products or show a bunch of products that aren’t made by the brand. Doing so for Fetish Fantasy only brings up one product by the brand even though vendors sell various Fetish Fantasy products. What gives?

That’s not the only issue with shopping on Amazon, either.

Why Amazon Reviews Suck Now

I also have a particular beef with Amazon reviews, which have become almost useless across the board. The reviews might be misleading because of highjacking or they were purchased. Amazon no longer posts every review, so it may withhold negative reviews to increase sales. It’s why so many products have 4+ star ratings. Average ratings used to cover the whole range, making them more useful.

I’ve used hundreds of toys and very few are 5-star toys, yet Amazon ratings suggest all these brandless products are perfect?! I don’t think so!

Seriously, how is this helpful in the least?

A good piece of advice is to ignore 5-star reviews and compare 4-star reviews to 1-star reviews. This gives you a better idea of how a product really performs. Of course, vague 4-star reviews and 1-star reviews complaining about shipping aren’t really helpful. I often find that the average consumer isn’t a great reviewer. But you can often find someone who writes a good enough review with preferences similar to yours to be helpful.

Where does that leave us?

Sex Toys You Shouldn’t Buy on Amazon

Most of these concerns apply to any product, but it’s especially concerning with something you might put in your body!

This includes essentially anything you insert or has the potential to break skin:

  • Dildos
  • Vibrators
  • Anal toys
  • Kegel exercisers
  • Lube
  • Ball gags
  • Needles
  • Blades
  • Urethral sounds

I would also add supplements to this list.

No one wants a used dildo showing up at their doorstep. Given how Amazon often skips putting things in boxes, discretion may also be a concern.

You don’t want your vibrator to stop working. Nor would you be happy with an infection, allergic reaction, or injury from trying to enjoy yourself in the bedroom. A trip to the emergency room would be even worse. All of this might be possible if you buy a product that’s intentionally mislabeled or simply lacks the right information.

And if you’ve ever read a review about something starting a fire or electrocuting the user, you understand why you need to be a savvy shopper,

When It’s Okay to Buy Sex Toys on Amazon

Does this mean you should never buy sex toys from Amazon? Not necessarily. Some products pose fewer risks than others. If there are helpful reviews of the product and vendor and if you can’t find a similar product elsewhere, you may have to bite the bullet, even if it doesn’t vibrate.

Look for established brand names (random names show up for brands that only exist on Amazon, too). Stick to products that have multiple actual photos, including those with packaging. Otherwise, something might show up at your door in a plastic bag with no additional information.

Do research about product safety outside of Amazon. You might even find that Amazon isn’t the cheapest option! I frequently update my sales page, so you can save money on sex toys.

That’s the difference between sex toy stores like Shevibe, Lovehoney, or Babeland, Stockroom, that vet their products and Amazon, where it can be difficult to know who made something. Sex toy retailers often carefully tag products for brand, features, and material, you can filter your searches based on that information.

On top of that, Amazon doesn’t need your money or care about you. Our favorite stores and makers appreciate our patronage and show care in the products they carry, how they market them, and their customer service. When has the same ever been true for Amazon?!

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Categories: Articles, Shopping

Make love to your long distance lover online

Save 30% off Fun Factory’s Brand New Laya!

November 23rd, 2023

As I type this, Thanksgiving is minutes away third minutes underway, and Fun Factory’s Black Friday sale is going strong!

LAYA III | FUN FACTORY

You can save 30% off all toys and 10% off accessories and lube. There are tons of goodies worth splurging on including the Jewels Big Boss in a great lavender ($980, any of the Stronic line ($105 to $140), the limited edition Amor dildo in rainbow ($32), the fan-favorite Bootie butt plug ($24), the newer Vim wand ($118), Fun menstrual cups ($28), and Smartballs ($21).

The folks at Fun Factory are including the brand-new Laya III, the newest version of one of my favorite clitoral vibes, in this sale, too! It’s significantly under $100 at $76! It’s a great time to save and try a new vibrator, which I will soon review. Rest assured that I can already say that I prefer it over the Laya II.

Plus, it’s such an interesting shade of pale blue, which I am sure some of you will appreciate. And even if Laya isn’t your cup of tea, Fun Factory’s sale is sure to have something for everyone.

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Categories: Shopping

Get Yourself My Favorite Pink Toys to Enjoy Your Best Barbie Life!

July 24th, 2023

So the Barbie movie is out, making waves and breaking records in 2023. To be frank, I am in the target demographic whose nostalgia Mattel and the studios want to capture. I just don’t care that much, maybe because it’s causing a little capitalism-fueled moral dilemma. Or maybe because I don’t need everything in my life to be pink all the time. It’s just a little much for me, you know?

There's just so much packaging!
LoveLife’s cuddle is a solid choice for a G-spot vibrator

That doesn’t mean that I don’t like some pink because I quite do! I don’t even think the ire that pink sex toys gets is entirely earned (although, manufacturers might benefit from remembering that other colors exist and not everyone with a vagina likes pink or is a woman). Nor does it mean I don’t want to take advantage of the cultural moment. After all, even SheVibe and JeJoue have Barbie-themed sales right now.

So I figure I jump on the bandwagon to reap some benefits. And what’s the best way to do that? By remaining all you readers of the pink things I do love!

The LoveLife Cuddle is one of the few toys I regret giving away. It’s a great little G-spot vibrator that’s rechargeable and made from body-safe materials. You might not be able to buy this toy for under $40 anymore, but you can save $10 if you buy it from SheVibe and use code BARBIE15.

JeJoue’s Mimi Soft didn’t frustrate me like the original Mimi, so it’s the first clitoral vibrator on this list.

My Lelo Mia is black, but you can get yourself one in a light pink that might not be aggressive as some of the items on this list. Many people will love the slanted tip of this lipstick vibrator, and the design is discreet, portable, and convenient. I could be charging mine on my laptop as I type this, thanks to its USB design.

Honestly, I didn’t love the Big Boss vibrator or dildo, but I did love the original. But because I want others to share a similar experience, I’m adding the Big Boss to this list. All of the Boss designs, including the dildo, really pushed me to my limits.

I don’t actually own pink bondage tape or care so much about brand. I think it’s pretty much the same no matter where you buy it. But you can use the same coupon as above to save on some hot pink bondage tape at SheVibe.

Where should you store these toys? The Sugar Sak is a convenient solution to that problem. It’s best for a small collection (even the XL can only hold a few toys) or perhaps traveling, especially with the antibacterial lining. Maybe others aren’t as squicked out by the ideas of ~germs~ as I am, but it’s a nice feature nontheless.

If you want to improve your sex life, then you might want to read Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz–or have your significant other read it. It’s available in countless physical and digital formats, so it won’t be difficult to do that.

Becoming Cliterate

Another pink book and one that I think everyone should read is Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are. Somehow, after recommending it for years, I have yet to create a post about it, review or otherwise. Eventually, I’ll change that. In the meantime, believe me when I say it can be life changing!

Finally, I’d like to add Pink Frolic, a personal lube meant for use with toys. It works well for this due to its thicker formula (check out my review). I wish Frolic were available in more stores. You can get it from the Of Sex and Love store or pay a little more on Amazon to get free shipping (I know, I know! Amazon, ugh!.

And if you don’t love pink? Most of the items listed her are available in other colors or digitally, so you don’t have to choose pink. After all, color doesn’t matter as much as the functionality, and I just want to help my readers enjoy their sexuality a little more!

As always, let me know whether you agree or disagree in the comments. Did I forget your favorite pink toy? Or do you have thoughts about Barbie and her movie taking the world by storm? I’ll take those, too!

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Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

The Conflict of Capitalism and Co-option of Feminism

June 7th, 2023

Thanks to Wellbutrin, my sex drive is higher than ever, which is somewhat ironic considering that I neither have a partner nor use toys as frequently as I have in the past. In fact, it’s been a long time since I’ve added a new sex toy to my collection. I used to get so excited over new companies, toys, and technology, enough so that I made a point to seek out and share these things with my readers and friends. I wanted to know what companies were new, discover how companies found ways to make bullet vibrators stand out, and see the most recent dildo designs. I often felt the pangs when I saw an exciting new sex toy knowing my budget would never enable me to buy them all. And my particular brand of anxiety inspires a fear of missing out on owning things simply for the sake of owning them.

But my relationship with shopping has changed. I’m not immune to retail therapy or window shopping, even if I’m more reserved about my purchases. It’s just difficult not to feel disenchanted with capitalism and all it entails. The expectations that we must constantly be productive and achieve a certain amount of wealth (and then appropriately display that wealth) can easily make a person feel not good enough. Perhaps more importantly, failure to do so can mean you can’t put a roof over your head or food on the table, so you’re struggling with practical concerns, all the while your self-esteem takes a hit.

The sex toy industry isn’t an exception to this, and I think the decades companies spent making toys from dangerous materials and the return to such sketchy practices in the Amazon era are proof of that. But lately, I’ve been pondering what seems, to me, to be a particularly pernicious example of capitalism in our nightstands. Over time, I became aware of all the ways women became advertising targets by those in the sexual sphere.

Pharmaceutical companies struggled to find the “female Viagra” for years because of the potential for profit. And after all that, we have a couple of medications for female sexual dysfunction that are no better than placebos and certainly fail to make a real difference in the way mindfulness or, you know, caring about and talking to your partner makes in a person’s sex life. But who wouldn’t want to try a quick-fix medication when they’re experiencing sexual difficulties, especially with the current state of sex education pretty much guaranteeing they haven’t learned about the alternatives?

It’s not just about pharmaceuticals, either. Lumping sex tech into femtech suggests new opportunities for women to live more authentically or succeed professionally. And it’s true that women have traditionally been sparse in the tech industry, so this signifies a change in the people designing products and solutions for previously-overlooked wants or needs because the men who were in charge failed to consider,.
IKa demographic that did not include them. Yet it leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I realize how we’re being sold these things as necessities and not just luxuries that might improve life. If you do not buy lube, medications, or sex toys, you have somehow failed as a sexual woman or perhaps a feminist. The idea should be ludicrous, but somehow it’s not.

Even if I understand this intellectually, it’s not like the marketing hasn’t impacted me. Boy howdy, have those marketers succeeded! I remember balking at the premise of the book Sex, Lies, and Pharmaceuticals when I first discovered it, mostly because it seemed as though the authors were suggesting that women didn’t deserve the focus of pharmaceutical companies. Did the authors hate women or feminism?! Why didn’t they want us to enjoy our sexuality? It took me literal years to really absorb the fact that it was the way this search has been handled, which represents a terrible convergence of capitalism and misogyny, that was really under fire. It’s fine when these options are available; the problem is when we’re made to feel bad about ourselves or like every issue requires a store-bought solution.

What frustrates me the most is that, as a blogger, reviewer, and writer, I have benefited–no, profited–under this system. Really, you have to play ball if you want to pay the bills. There’s no practical way for most people to shed the shackles of this capitalistic hellscape. But the system is set up so that individuals feel guilty while unscrupulous companies with CEOs worth millions of dollars remain unscathed. It’s reminiscent of how the responsibility to recycle has been foisted upon the average person, even though we stand zero chance of turning the tide and stemming climate change when companies are wreaking havoc on the environment.

Really, it’s kind of a (evil) genius move on the part of these companies. Shifting the blame to us consumers encourages us to blame others who we don’t think are doing enough and keeps up divided and ineffective. Very little changes. Someone, somewhere, realized the power of co-opting movements and tying how we feel about ourselves to our habits as consumers. It’s not entirely different from rainbow-washing, which we are currently immersed in this Pride month, or pinkwashing every October.

How do we reconcile our ideals with the world we live in? Maybe, at the end of the day, all I can do is find little ways to enjoy being alive, whether that means engaging in retail therapy or using a luxury sex toy. Maybe I need to give myself a break because. I can only do so much and I can’t achieve anything other than making myself miserable because I cannot abstain from capitalism. Instead of beating myself up, I would do better to direct my attention and energy to the causes I believe in, like helping people have more satisfying sex, no matter what that means for them (and even if it means suggesting some products to assist). Occasionally, I may even be able to step up and help those people who suffer even more under this system.

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Categories: Articles, Shopping

Cyber Monday 2019 Sales

December 2nd, 2019

Black Friday has, over time, crept earlier in the week. This week, I saw Black Friday sales announced as early as Monday, and many stores advertise pre-Black Friday sales. As a consumer, this is confusing. However, I am here to remove any confusion for my readers who want to know how to score the best deals on sex toys, books, and BDSM gear!

Store.OfSexandLove.com

Use code BF2019 to save 20% off no minimum until 12/5

Babeland

Spend $99 and save 30$ off your order

Babeland cyber week sale

Fredericks of Hollywood

Right now get Free Ground Shipping and 40% off sitewide! Plus:

Kiroo

Save up to 60% on toys including the Onyx 2, Fleshlight Launch, Titan, Cliona, and VR porn media.

Vibrators.com

Free shipping on every order. Try the Kink Fuckery Kit for less than $30.

Ella Paradis

Plus, use code CYBER45 to save up to 45% off. Get the Ur Pleasure Gift Box – Hers, which includes the s We-vibe Tango!, for $61. Check out 50% off items in your cart, too.

We-Vibe and Womanizer

Save 20% off through December 6th. This includes:

Stockroom

All Fun Factory toys are 25% off! Get the Stronic G, Stronic Real, or Stronic Surf for under $130. Bootie is only $26.

Lovehoney

Up to 50% off Black Friday items. Plus, save an extra 20% off everything through 12/4.

Lovehoney Black Friday

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lingerie

My Favorite Red, White and Blue Sex Toys

June 30th, 2018

I’m not much for celebrating our country’s Independence Day. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with firing up the grill or throwing last year’s husk of a Christmas tree into a bonfire to blaze gloriously for all of 30 seconds as your face melts off. And who doesn’t enjoy fireworks? I like the activities, but I just don’t feel the season.

To each her own, eh?

Anyway, I thought it would be fun if I let my readers in on my favorite toys boasting the patriotic colors of the American (and plenty of other countries’) flags. I’ve updated this list to include some newer items since I originally posted it and to remove some that are no longer available.

Note that while I’ll provide affiliate links to a few products below, you can get most of these from my affiliate store here. Right now, you can save 20% off everything with code REDWHITEYOU.

uberkinky bondage tape

Red (and black( bondage tape from UberKinky

Red

White

  • I’m pretty sure Jimmyjane no longer makes any other Contour massage stones, which is a bummer. These are way nicer than the cheap plastic massagers you get around Christmas time. I actually haven’t used my Contour M in years, but it’s such a nice piece. And it’s rather affordable. Check it out from SheVibe for less than $23.
  • Speaking of SheVibe, they’re where I recommend buying the Unicorn dildo by Split Peaches. Now, you might recall that the version I reviewed doesn’t exactly fit the color scheme, and you’re right. But there’s a gorgeous, opalescent white finish you can get it in. It comes in three sizes for your perfect fit.
  • There’s only ever been one Tantus toy that I love: the Faerie. And I think I love it because of the pearlescent white shimmer. I didn’t even get the white version, but I can’t complain. Unfortunately, Tantus no longer makes it. Bummer. They do sell a similar Slow Drive, but in different colors.
  • Although not a sex toy per se, I’d like to add 101 Vagina into this mix. This coffee table book depicts images of different vulvas, and you know I’m all for body positivity! The hardcover book uses monochromatic images to make a striking impression. Check out my review before you buy it from Amazon.

Lelo Ora 2

Lelo’s second attempt at a clitoral stimulator

Blue

There are more awesome blue sex toys in my nightstand than there seems to be any other color. In no particular order, I love these:

  • Jimmyjane Form 6 G3. I don’t know why more people aren’t shouting their love for this sleek, rechargeable and powerful vibrator. Not everyone likes it, but I do. Vibrant sells both the blue and pink for $175.
  • Now, I didn’t get my Lelo Ora in blue, but the blue one is pretty much the perfect shade to celebrate your country. Pretend I made some horrible analogy about fireworks and masturbating. Okay, you don’t have to. My point is, however, that it’s the perfect shade of blue and does the oral stimulation simulation thing better than anything I’ve tried. The second one made some much-needed improvements. You’ll have no problem finding it at retailers, but it’s currently on sale at Lovehoney and directly from Lelo when using coupon 15june18.
  • Minna’s Limon is a pressure-sensitive vibrator that’s perfect for clitoral stimulation and can even be used hands-free. I enjoy it much more than anything else I’ve tried from the company. Unfortunately, there are few retailers selling the Limon anymore. You can buy it from Vibrant but only in the pink.

So what are your favorite red white and blue items?

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Categories: Shopping

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.