You might as well put a ring around the cock with Fun Factory’s Lovering. It was a mixed reaction from this household. I enjoyed this silicone cock ring for its size enhancing properties yet it failed to blow my husband’s mind. Like every other Fun Factory product I’ve tried, it’s high quality product and I may be biased simply because of that. Read my Lovering review at Edenfantasys.
Pee Ess
September 10th, 2009
I posted my review for the Sequin Seduction Babydoll on EdenFantasys last week. Stop by and leave a comment.
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What I like in Reviews
September 8th, 2009
If you’ve read more than one of my own reviews, you’ve probably come to realize me for the Incredibly Picky Bitch™ that I am. Some people appreciate it because they know I don’t give a passing grade to mediocre products. Other probably wish I didn’t nitpick their reviews quite so much to which I could say “STFU” or “Take it like a man”. Or, maybe I could direct them to this post which explains what I find helpful in reviews.
Background/Extra Information
I like to read a little extra information about manufacturers. I recall reading a review on EdenFantasys where the reviewer mentioned that Sinvention, is based out of a gothic church in Canada. Interesting? Yep. I also like when reviewers discuss the credentials of book authors, especially on topics like BDSM. Furthermore, knowing that a toy is made especially for body part X because of reason Y is great.
What I don’t like? A two-page essay on the history of the company. The review is of a product, not a company or perosn.
Size Description
It can be easy to leave out size but this is pretty essential information. It can be in inches/CM measurements or described in terms of a universal object (I used a soda can for reference in my Oil of Love Review) or, preferably, both. This is also important when it comes to lingerie/wearable items. I view anything from American size 12 on up as plus size (mostly because of my own body issues, honestly) but not everyone does. Your definition of “curvy but not fat” and mine may differ greatly.
What I don’t like? Measuring every single aspect of the toy. I don’t need a spreadsheet. Nor do you need to add pictures with a ruler.
Necessary Experience
Sexuality and sex toys are somewhat sensitive subjects, and if you can’t be that vulnerable, you may want to reconsider whether you should really write a review. Similarly, if you can’t explain why you liked a toy or offer any specifics, it’s best to leave the review writing to someone else.
So what do I consider necessary experience? It’s helpful to know if you couldn’t insert a toy without lube or maybe not at all as was the case with the large Passion Wave vibrator. If something broke or caused irritation, it’s also good to note. Remember Uma? My god, was it hard to use! Whenever a toy uses unique controls, like the Vanity line did at the time, explaining your experience is helpful. When something frustrates you — or even when it makes more sense to you — others will find that helpful! If you find yourself consciously trying to arouse the reader, you’re doing it wrong.
What I don’t like? Poorly written “erotica”.
Whether or not it got you off
This can be tricky. It’s good to know if the toy did it for you (if it’s applicable), but it shouldn’t be the focus of your review. I’ve rated toys poorly even when they did get me off because of poor quality or just because it didn’t do it well. On the other hand, I’ve given good reviews to items that didn’t get me off but were well-made and enjoyable in general.
What I don’t like? Reviews that are exceptionally positive (hyper excited) and fail to give other, essential information because the author got off from the toy. And poorly written erotica.
Basic Information
If a review doesn’t include more information than a production description or teaser video, it could be more useful. It’s essential to let us know what the toy is intended for and if you used it otherwise (and that can be a great thing!). Colour, shape, scent, size (as previously mentioned), material (including texture, density, firmness, etc), and functions are all important. I can’t even name how many rabbit reviews I’ve read that didn’t specify what exactly the shaft did. Feel free to suggest alternative uses.
What I don’t like? Reviews that assume you’re familiar with the product.
Significant Packaging Information
I don’t care what you said to your mailman or how long you waited at the door. I suspect no reader really does, honestly. I’ve got 65 pages of reviews, and including this information in every room would take up reading and writing time that could be better spent elsewhere. There is more than enough to say to meet your word count while only talking about the product itself.
Similarly, I assume everything is discreetly packaged as is the norm and only need to know if that’s not the case. For example, some lingerie has shown up in less-than-discreet packages, and both California Exotics and Pipedream add their actual company name to the shipping label. I do care if the individual product package was so poor that the toy fell out/spilled or, even worse, was damaged during shipping. It’s also worth noting when shitty companies shove everything they can into flimsy envelopes.
What I don’t like? The play-by-play of ordering and delivery.
Did you notice that I didn’t mention photos? I know we’re on the visual Internet now, and I truly try to take the best photographs that I possibly can. Yet, I find the written word to be the meat and potatoes of a review, as it were. And I think the right words can eliminate the need for visuals… even if some people disagree.
If you cover everything above, your review can really only be useful to the masses. Doing so and adding your own bit of flare, perhaps humour, will help make your reviews more memorable.
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Clit, Meet Nose
August 26th, 2009
So, a while ago I went to this sex toy party thing and I didn’t buy anything cause the prices were freaking outrageous. I did walk away with some interesting knowledge and that was this: Apparently the nose is the closest body part to the clit in terms of sensitivity so you can test vibes on your nose to see how well they might fare. I found this interesting. The tip of my nose is pretty damned sensitive so it makes sense.. except that I feel like my clit isn’t anywhere near as sensitive as my clit. In fact, when I masturbate, I don’t really even touch my clit. I rub through it to the bone.
But I know I’m an odd duck so maybe the rest of you find this method to be an accurate gauge of sensitivity?
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Sex With My Love
August 20th, 2009
My husband is home and, of course, that mean sex. Unfortunately, it’s not as much sex as either of us would like but, on the other hand, I’m really glad I still want lots of sex after having it. Before he was deployed, I just thought too much about sex without actually doing it. I would think about the effort and the messes and I would actually ignore my body’s physical response to his touch because of the nagging thoughts. It was a miserable mindset and while I haven’t relished the fact that we have been apart for most of this year, I’m glad of the motivation it has provided.
When I think about sex, talk about sex, or blog about sex I tend to do it in a rather objective way. There’s definitely emotional disconnect even if I’m talking about my sex life. It’s not entirely unusual for me to get lost listening to my inner voice talk about the mechanics of sex and totally not be into it and.. that frequently leads me to think that I don’t really like sex and then I don’t want to have it but it’s not true. My inner voice really just needs to STFU sometimes and, right now, it’s pretty much drowned out by the rest of my body’s sexual needs. I touched on this on the EdenFantasys forums and, sadly, I don’t have much of a “cure” for this, at least not something that can be used on a frequent basis.
Anyway, this all sort of leads me to think that sex is very separate from emotion for me and that’s just not true. And I’m glad it’s not true. Maybe it can be and I’d be lying if I said a large part of my sex life doesn’t revolve simply around attraction and physicality but that’s not all of it. And maybe it’s not even the important part of it and maybe I’m just too wrapped up in my head to realize but, obviously, it’s nearly impossible to not have super emotional sex after your husband returns from deployment.
It’s good to feel that connected even if it feels awkward to cry during sex. It’s good to hold eachother that tight. It’s good to feel when you spend so much time not feeling. Sometimes I have such a hard time reconciling my thoughts with my feelings and all the feelings come pouring out so strongly that I just can’t think. Can’t. Despite the fact that so much of me thrives on control, I really do appreciate those moments and desire more of them when it comes to my relationship and sex.
In spite of the situation that has led to it, I’m grateful to be reminded that I like sex, I want it and having it is an emotionally charged experience. It’s shocking how easily that can be forgotten.
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Totally Fuckable Tuesday, Take IV
August 11th, 2009
I have had a huge crush on this actor for several years, since the first time I saw Alias (great series, really. Can you believe I’m not done with that series yet?). I love his character’s demeanor, it’s sort of soft spoken and reserved yet surprisingly strong. I’ve never met a person like that so his character was appealing.
But it’s not Michael Vaughan over whom I drool; it’s Michael Vartan and I hear he’s just as interesting a man as his character was. He has, on occasion, shown up to awards shows and such covered in bruises form playing hockey (a game he somehow works into most of his roles). I love that disregard for everything Hollywood. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been in a whole lot but he now plays a doctor in HawthoRNe and I would be lying if that, alone, didn’t make me want to watch the series.
I’ll be honest with you, though. I love Michael Vartan because he’s amazingly good looking. He has serious eyes with a charming yet boyish smile. Typical of me, I love how pretty he is and definitely prefer him clean shaven but he’s one of the few guys whose stubble I ever find attractive. And he has these adorable frown/laugh lines. They make him appear a little older than he is, in my opinion, yet it’s part of the appeal.
While I’m definitely a face girl, his body isn’t half bad anyway and he can rock a black tee with ease.
Thanks to Beautiful Dreamer for this awesome concept.
