Hi,
Remember me? Adriana’s the pseudonym. I’ve been reviewing your dildos, vibrators, bondage gear and lubes for years. Years. I’ve tried G-spot and rabbit vibrators. Silicone dildos and those made of God-knows-what. I’ve got whips and paddles and handcuffs–no chains yet, though. I’ve tried lubes that stuck and some that stung and some that worked wonderfully. Even green ones. I could probably write a poem about it.
Let’s see:
This lube has a water base
this one’s made from silicone
this one smells, so keep it far from your face
this one helps you ride his cock all the way home
I don’t know. It’s a work in progress. I wrote it in, like, ten seconds, okay? My point is, you know me, and I know all about your products. And I think you’re slacking. It’s not just that I’ve tried everything; it’s that you’re not coming out with new things that are innovative or different in a way that actually works.
The last truly innovative product I recall seeing was the Minna Ola–and that was 2010. Now, I’m just seeing products that are re-released versions of previous toys, and many of these upgrades are pretty lackluster. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I’d like to see something new that gets me excited.
It feels like these past two years have include a lot of copycat designs, silicone molds and fancy terminology that tries to convince me this toy is something better than last year’s model when it isn’t. As someone who also doesn’t like buzzy vibrations, I’m continuously shocked when manufacturers rely on AAAs as a power source. What’s up with that?
So, dear manufacturers, let me sum it up for you. You’re lagging, you’re boring, you’re failing, and I’m onto you. I want you to create toys that look pretty, provide unforgettable sensations and last a little more than six months if that isn’t too much to ask. I’m willing to pay more for a better toy. Hell, plenty of us are. But I’m not so willing to pay a lot for a mediocre toy that’s a rehash of the same old thing.
The only way you’re going to be able to do something new is if you’re not afraid to experiment and make mistakes. Sure, it might be expensive and, yes, not every toy will succeed, but where do you think all these innovative sex toys came from anyway?
This is my response. http://www.fbgif.com/wp-content/uploads/gifs1201/1233928590_citizen%20kane%20clapping_www_fbgif_com.gif
Love you!
Right?! All the upgrades that aren’t really upgrades are annoying. Someone needs to get creative with their new releases.
I also will never understand why so many companies use AAAs and buzzy vibrations. Are there people out there that actually enjoy that? My guess is no.
I remember poring through XBIZ and the like for news. I’d get so excited. Post on Twitter. OMG YOU GAIZZZZ~! Now, it’s like “Eh, this is okay.”
There’s times I don’t even bother opening the Novelty email from them because I know it’s just new CalEx crap.
*starts the infamous slow clap* Bravo! I’m tired of the toys that are touted as THE must have toy. And then you get it, and are beyond disappointed with the horribleness.
Thanks for reading!