I’m not much for celebrating our country’s Independence Day. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with firing up the grill or throwing last year’s husk of a Christmas tree into a bonfire to blaze gloriously for all of 30 seconds as your face melts off. And who doesn’t enjoy fireworks? I like the activities, but I just don’t feel the season.
To each her own, eh?
Anyway, I thought it would be fun if I let my readers in on my favorite toys boasting the patriotic colors of the American (and plenty of other countries’) flags. I’ve updated this list to include some newer items since I originally posted it and to remove some that are no longer available.
Note that while I’ll provide affiliate links to a few products below, you can get most of these from my affiliate store here. Right now, you can save 20% off everything with code REDWHITEYOU.
Red (and black( bondage tape from UberKinky
Red
- Lelo’s Siri was my go-to clitoral vibe for years. I replaced it with the followup version, which unfortunately doesn’t quite qualify for this list. But you’ll have a hard time finding the original, which isn’t as powerful, anyway, so I recommend you head over to Lovehoney to pick one up.
- Another red toy from Lelo is the Mona. Just like with Siri, there’s a second version available, too. It’s more powerful and has a slightly different shape, but I wouldn’t opt for it unless you could find it at a good price. You can also buy it from the Of Sex and Love store for $135.20 using the above coupon.
- I wanted to add Uberkinky’s bondage tape to this list because the bold, red tape is fun and functional. At $6, it’s also the cheapest item on this list by a longshot. And if you buy 2 bondage tapes, you’ll get one free.
White
- I’m pretty sure Jimmyjane no longer makes any other Contour massage stones, which is a bummer. These are way nicer than the cheap plastic massagers you get around Christmas time. I actually haven’t used my Contour M in years, but it’s such a nice piece. And it’s rather affordable. Check it out from SheVibe for less than $23.
- Speaking of SheVibe, they’re where I recommend buying the Unicorn dildo by Split Peaches. Now, you might recall that the version I reviewed doesn’t exactly fit the color scheme, and you’re right. But there’s a gorgeous, opalescent white finish you can get it in. It comes in three sizes for your perfect fit.
- There’s only ever been one Tantus toy that I love: the Faerie. And I think I love it because of the pearlescent white shimmer. I didn’t even get the white version, but I can’t complain. Unfortunately, Tantus no longer makes it. Bummer. They do sell a similar Slow Drive, but in different colors.
- Although not a sex toy per se, I’d like to add 101 Vagina into this mix. This coffee table book depicts images of different vulvas, and you know I’m all for body positivity! The hardcover book uses monochromatic images to make a striking impression. Check out my review before you buy it from Amazon.
Lelo’s second attempt at a clitoral stimulator
Blue
There are more awesome blue sex toys in my nightstand than there seems to be any other color. In no particular order, I love these:
- Jimmyjane Form 6 G3. I don’t know why more people aren’t shouting their love for this sleek, rechargeable and powerful vibrator. Not everyone likes it, but I do. Vibrant sells both the blue and pink for $175.
- Now, I didn’t get my Lelo Ora in blue, but the blue one is pretty much the perfect shade to celebrate your country. Pretend I made some horrible analogy about fireworks and masturbating. Okay, you don’t have to. My point is, however, that it’s the perfect shade of blue and does the oral stimulation simulation thing better than anything I’ve tried. The second one made some much-needed improvements. You’ll have no problem finding it at retailers, but it’s currently on sale at Lovehoney and directly from Lelo when using coupon 15june18.
- Minna’s Limon is a pressure-sensitive vibrator that’s perfect for clitoral stimulation and can even be used hands-free. I enjoy it much more than anything else I’ve tried from the company. Unfortunately, there are few retailers selling the Limon anymore. You can buy it from Vibrant but only in the pink.
So what are your favorite red white and blue items?
Re: The discontinued Tantus Faerie.
It seems to me that it’s very similar to the new Slow Drive: http://www.tantusinc.com/products/slow-drive
Unfortunately, if they make it in the same colors as the Sport, it won’t come in white.
I thought that, too, but something about the shape just looks not quite the same.
Ooh, I want the Ceramix No. 4! It’s so cute! ^-^
Ugh, I want a red Siri so bad but the retailer I usually buy from only has the pink & purple versions. The Ceramix 4 looks cute too! Like a funny mushroom.
It probably doesn’t count because it’s a limited edition, but Funkit Toys did a run of red NoFrillDos as an anti-FOSTA/SESTA fundraiser a few months ago. I got a red R, and I love it–not only is the toy very effective (especially for the price), the resemblance to a red Twizzler really amuses me!
I love the comparison to a Twizzler, lol