Female Ejaculation& the G-spot
16.99 (Kindle)
from Amazon
It took me some time to finish Female Ejaculation& the G-spot by Deborah Sundahl, not just because it’s a longer book than most sex-ed books I’ve read (it is!), but because the direction she took was both unexpected and unwelcome by me.
Let me explain. By reading the first chapter and the last page of this book (of the actual content, not the very last page), you can get a very good feel for how this book is going to turn out. Ms. Sundahl does little to hide her attitude toward clitoral orgasms (which is that they are inferior) in “A Peek Inside a Female Ejaculation Workshop.” The last page of content is devoted to something I never, in a million years, would have expected from a book on female ejaculation: “A Female Ejaculation Blessing“. It is pages like this and ideas that are too tightly intertwined with the rest of the G-spot/FE content that tell a story of a woman who cannot (or will not) view Tantric/spiritual sex separately.
It’s not that I have anything against Tantric sex. It’s just not something I’m interested in now, nor is it something that I expect to read about in a book about female ejaculation. The two are not mutually inclusive to me and by taking the direction she did, I found Ms. Sundahl actually did a disservice to what is an otherwise helpful book. By the end, I was both frustrated at her insistence that women must have a spiritual experience with FE and amused at yet another flowery description of “feminine waters”. I actually began discussing this with my husband and would say, “Hey, she did it again, listen to this”. Neither of us could help but laugh at some of the ridiculous descriptions she used in the book.
Why do I say this?
I say it because while I do recommend this book, if you’re anything like me, the inclusion of spirituality in an FE book will be something of a hurdle. I strongly suggest you read the first chapter and the last page as well as leaf through Female Ejaculation & the G-spot before making the decision to buy it, lest you wind up with a fresh supply of hamster cage padding. If you think you can get past that or might actually like it, then go ahead and purchase Female Ejaculation & the G-spot. If you think it may be problematic, make one of your new age friends read the book and give you the run down.
That was the one major issue I took with Female Ejaculation & the G-spot, and, unfortunately, there was no way to get around it. Otherwise, I found this book was organized well and, within those chapters (each which started with a fairly useless story that was supposed to be related to the content but was really just laughable), contained information more complete and useful than any other writing on the G-spot or female ejaculation I’ve encountered yet. I think this book will be useful to any woman attempting to ejaculate for the first time or improve her FE experience. Partners may also find the book beneficial. However, if you’re looking to learn how to orgasm from the G-spot, you will not find this here; the inclusion of the G-spot in this book is generally only in relation to female ejaculation.
This book is split into three sections: The Phenomenon of Female Ejaculation, Techniques for a Feminine Fountain and Embracing the Feminine Spring. These sections could be looked at as introductory, theories in practice and improving upon the practice, respectively.
The first section covers Ms Sundahl’s intro to an FE workshop and takes a look at how people historically viewed FE. It’s especially apparent that Deborah Sundahl has spent some amount of time researching this subject and her passion shines through as she gives us our history lesson. In this section is also a chapter entitled “What is Female Ejaculation?”, a rather extensive anatomy lesson which gives the most complete explanation of FE and the prostate I’ve yet encountered. This chapter really takes away the mystery of the G-spot – in a good way! I can only wonder why it is not universally accepted as the view on the G-spot (I am also fond of her view of the G-spot, clitoris, perineum, et cetera as one interconnected female sex organ). The text and included images will introduce the reader to the G-spot, also known as the female prostate and show its different types (which account for how deep the G-spot is in different women).
I did find it interesting how orgasms are categorized in this book. Deborah Sundahl views the three types of orgasm as clitoral, blended, and uterine, as opposed to clitoral, vaginal, and G-spot. Her definition of a blended orgasm is G-spot orgasm and uterine orgasm, of which I’d never heard before this, is a deeper orgasm I suppose. It makes me wonder where there’s room for a vaginal, non-G-spot orgasm in her view. Or is there?
That aside, this introductory section leads quite well to the next, where Ms. Sundahl walks the reader through learning to ejaculate (in a chapter each), first without an orgasm, then with one as well as with a partner. The final chapter in the section is about “Men’s Role in Female Ejaculation”. This section focuses on techniques for finding and stimulating one’s G-spot, and Deborah Sundahl’s experience shows, once more, realistic descriptions of how a G-spot might feel rather than medical-sounding ones. Furthermore, there are personal anecdotes gathered over the years, which help to show the FE experience in all its variety.
“Ejaculate Without an Orgasm” instructs how to check one’s mental and physical readiness for FE. If one’s PC muscles measure too tense or loose, she suggests exercises to remedy the issue. There’s even some information about how menstrual cycle can affect FE, before she sets about helping the reader find her G-spot and locate all its parts. Like other works, Female Ejaculation & the G-spot touches on the difference between FE and urine, which is something I find personally interesting. However, Ms Sundahl basically says, “It’s not urine, but even if it is, oh well!” which I found to be awkward.
The following chapter discusses the types of orgasms and suggests ejaculating by stimulating mostly the G-spot but the clitoris as well, if it’s needed to orgasm. She wraps up the chapter with some information on sex toys for G-spot play. “Ejaculating With a Partner” helps bring FE into partner play, including position suggestions, but is otherwise a shorter chapter. “Men’s Role in Female Ejaculation” should actually be called “The Partner’s Role” and the personal experiences shared here are real and varied. In it, Ms Subdahl gives advice for those who wish to aid their partners in FE, even touching on how men can help by mastering multiple orgasms.
The third and final section has only two chapters, “Heal Your G-spot” and “Connection to Self and Partner”. While reading about G-spot healing was sort of interesting, this chapter is the most heavily focused in new age/spirituality/Tantra. In it, the author discusses emotional blocks, sexual healers, and healing sexual massage. In some places, this chapter comes close to fiction and if you’re not into it, I would advise skipping it completely. The final chapter continues with the Tantric theme in relationships and sums up the book. There are a couple of paragraphs each that explain what the reader (should have) learned in each chapter and suggest how the reader can further explore.jkmnnhbb
The book contains several pages of references, resources and glossary terms at the end. The reader can find the websites of people, places and products which were discussed by the author in this book; however, some of them no longer exist.
As one can see, the book is organized well and once the reader gets beyond that major Tantric theme (if that’s an issue), there is a lot of concrete information which can be helpful. I found that the descriptions really helped me to pinpoint areas on my G-spot and better understand its anatomy. I do have some final criticisms, however.
Deborah Sundahl frequently says things like, “All women can achieve FE just like all women are born with arms and legs.” I think generalizations like that are not only presumptuous but just go to show that, no, not all women can, just like not everyone is born with arms and legs. At one point in the book, she mentions that one should never look at things in absolutes; I believe she should take her own advice.
In the same vein, the author frequently says things like you will be able to achieve FE. While I know she’s trying to be supportive, her book may not help everyone and statements like these, combined with the statements above, could certainly make someone feel defective – especially when she emphasizes that a “numb” G-spot is from “body armoring” or emotional blocks. Could it not be that some people are just less sensitive?
I think that taking Female Ejaculation & the G-spot with a giant grain of salt is almost a requirement to get any use of it. If you can do it, there’s a lot to be had in between flowery descriptions and spiritual metaphors, certainly more than I’ve ever found online. When it comes down to it, I recommend Female Ejaculation & the G-spot to anyone curious about FE, with a couple caveats.
19 Comments to “Female Ejaculation & the G-spot”
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I really liked this book. I don’t mind the language and the spiritual perspective taken by the author at all. It’s the most accurate and comprehensive resource on female ejaculation that I’ve seen. Nevertheless, thank you for your honest and thorough review. I hadn’t considered some of the points that you raise about gendered language and some of the author’s assumptions.
I think, did the title include any mention of the spiritual approach to let me know it was included, I would have been a lot more receptive. As it stands, I was completely taken aback by what is a very prominent theme in this book yet I had no idea it would be. It reminded me of when I’d go in to see a movie that the trailers had advertised as an action flick when it was, in reality, a suspenseful drama.
I think, did the title include any mention of the spiritual approach to let me know it was included, I would have been a lot more receptive. As it stands, I was completely taken aback by what is a very prominent theme in this book yet I had no idea it would be. It reminded me of when I’d go in to see a movie that the trailers had advertised as an action flick when it was, in reality, a suspenseful drama.
P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!
Thank you for this excellent review! I really appreciate the insight into her spiritual spin on the whole thing. I’ve found several sources online that also use those kinds of terms to describe female ejaculation and found it distracting to say the least.