Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. Where do I start with you?
In the realm of clit vibes, Heidi most reminds me of the BCurious, especially the premium version. I have only used the original Bcurious, which was rigid (and not satisfying), so I can’t compare Heidi to the newer (and since discontinued) premium model, which appears to be made from a softer silicone.
Heidi itself has a thick, softer layer of silicone on it. It’s not nearly as squishy as Dame’s Pom, but it’s nice. There’s give in the tip, and it can bend forward or backward.
The buttons are bubbly and large, easy to find. They audibly click when you press them.
But, you see, as soon as you press that power button, you’ll wish you didn’t.
I wish I hadn’t started with Heidi at all.
Because once it turns on, there’s a quick and loud vibration. It’s jarring. And it’s buzzy and shallow as hell.
And it doesn’t get any better.
I guess I should have known. The (terribly translated) description mentions “High frequency vibration drives.” We. don’t. want. that. in. our. sex. toys.
Honestly, I can’t tell if Heidi’s design is good because the vibrations are so buzzy that I couldn’t possibly enjoy it. Initially, they tickle annoying. It doesn’t take long before I can’t feel them at all. No bueno.
All of this while the toy fills the air with an unacceptably loud roar. I guess it’s not loud enough to hear through a closed door, but it feels like a freaking assault when it’s in your hand.
I had to give up on Heidi. It was almost torture to use it. It offends the senses. No waterproofing, no soft silicone, no pretty mint green, no rechargeable battery, and no poetic metaphors will make it better.
High frequency vibration drives the body to work, impacts the soft inner wall, and the tremor C point attracts the clouds and tides to achieve a unique experience.
The secret comes from the strong frequency vibration. Different experiences also need a strong core to provide continuous motivation. For many girls, not having enough fun is downfall. It takes a lot of effort from the inside to the outside to please women.
After 365 days of experiments, we have finally developed a lovely dolphin with smooth curve. Time we roam together, love let you release at this moment. To a mutual tease, such as glue two people in the world.
Tonight, I just want you, in the twilight, in the halo of glass, in the mountain language and waves, with Heidi to explore and lead us to release our nostalgia for the spring breeze.
I’m sorry, Heidi, but I don’t want you. Not tonight, not ever. Not to roam or stay in one place. And there certainly won’t be any release.
You couldn’t pay me the $54 price tag to use it again.
P.S. – Don’t call us “girls.”
P.P.S. – What the hell is the weird symbol on the side?
