Is TikTok Bad for Your Sex Life?

Pardon the clickbaity title. It’s what the Internet wants, and I’m just along for the ride.

A couple of months ago, I wrote an article for work that was clearly inspired by the latest TikTok trend du jour: boric acid. After looking at the videos, it was incredibly apparent that

• A manufacturer of boric acid was sending free product to influencers.
• They were specifically targeting Black creators–and their readers.
• They were not checking the videos for accuracy.

Perhaps more importantly, it was obvious to me that viewers did not necessarily realize this. They saw real posts instead of ads marketing scams. I know exactly how this works. Dozens of sex toy makers have sent me toys, but I always gave honest reviews, even if it meant criticizing a product or company or discouraging sales that would have earned me commissions. I have also spent literal years studying sexuality to ensure what I say is accurate and helpful.

This isn’t the case with the influences I saw on TikTok. Viewers saw videos touting the benefits of boric acid to help you feel cleaner and smell better, disregarding the fact that boric acid is only sometimes recommended for persistent bacterial infections because it is as toxic to healthy cells as much as unhealthy ones. Used unwisely, boric acid can make you more prone to infections.

But there were no warnings or advice to seek medical advice to determine whether a problem even existed at all, let alone whether boric acid might be a solution. There was a lot of covert body shaming, which douche makers (read that how you will) have always relied on.

In short, the practice was misleading and disgusting, and no one seemed to be calling it out.

The risks don’t stop there, either.

Both the quantity and quality of BDSM content on TikTok have some kinksters worried. It’s easy to find, ignores the important aspects of communication and safety, and may even violate the viewer’s consent. You can learn how to tie rope around wrists or make restraints out of a belt but not about the importance of preventing rope from slipping or avoiding nerve damage. You can easily find fake dominants but not mentors to steer you away from red flags. And none of this content is barred from minors.

This isn’t to say that that aren’t plenty of informed and experienced folks on TikTok spreading the good word. There absolutely are! Some of these folks love being on KinkTok. But as the great Sunny Megatron points out, popularity reigns over education and quality. I’ve heard plenty of sex educators talk about their experiences. TikTok inconsistently bans sexual content, so users have to worry about that on top of trying to make the algorithm work for them.

It’s not just sex, either. It takes half an hour for teens to stumble upon self-harm content on TikTok. Nor is the potential for harm specific to TikTok or even social media. People have sustained injuries after being inspired by 50 Shades. Every site with a blog that relates even tangentially to sexuality includes information about potentially risky sexual and kinky activities, most of which is written by people with no experience (and much that is distilled down to near uselessness).

Yet TikTok, with its short videos that are viewed almost entirely on mobile devices for free without age requirements, makes this information much more accessible to anyone and everyone without leaving room for all the caveats that go with it. Plenty of safety information can be found online, and some of it even exists on TikTok. But our shortened attention spans and the algorithms make it harder to find and absorb–if we even recognize the need for more information, to begin with!

I learned pretty much everything I know about kink and BDSM from the Internet–and much of what I know about sex. I’m old school, however. I would rather read a blog post or book–and have read thousands of pages on the subject–than watch a 10-second video. My knowledge, more often than not, came from seasoned kinksters.

I probably wouldn’t say the same if I were 15 or even 10 years younger. The internet, as it stands, is the only internet many people have ever known. It didn’t have to be and maybe doesn’t have to be still. But it is. TikTok could change if it wanted to, and a notable death and lawsuit would probably cause that. But it shouldn’t have to come to that. People should just care.

In the meantime, care for yourself because no one else will. Look beyond TikTok for information that will protect your safety. Direct a hefty dose of skepticism to anyone who doesn’t mention safety, on TikTok or anywhere else. Proceed with caution. Your health, your livelihood, and your life might depend on it.