The number of guys who have stepped up to tell me that they do/have liked or want to fuck me is ridiculous. I’ve never felt this surrounded by men before, and it’s flattering. It’s also frustrating. Almost all of these people are those who I’d pursue romantic or sexual interactions enough to see where they go.. if everyone could somehow just wait in line. I can’t ask that of anyone, of course, but I’m worried that if I pursue one person, they will be the wrong one, and the right will slip away because I was too busy. This is a little paranoid, of course, but that’s how I roll.
The problem is, I need to either do or don’t with the bartender, which is what I shall call the friend from this post. I want there it to be do — sexually and emotionally. At some point, I became ready to commit to him without realizing it. I literally woke up one day not wanting to wait any longer, but he wants to take things slowly. This is incredibly flattering because he doesn’t take things slowly. He wants to explore and see. I think he wants to play it safe to prevent hurting me. I respect this. It’s touching. It’s just not getting me sex or cuddles in nearly the quantity that I’d like.
In the meantime, I’m trying not to be clingy because I can feel myself moving in that direction, and I’m almost regretful that so many other opportunities seemed to have present themselves. Surely some of those nice and interesting guys would volunteer for cuddles and sex at my request. It’s not that I don’t like him or even like him enough, but I definitely know he’s a risk and these “safe” prospects make me doubt myself.
