L'Amour Weighted Pleasure System
$9.99
from Amazon
Using vag balls is not quite like riding a bike. Yes, you can lose that skill. I guess the fact the getting back on the horse, or bike as it were, does share one similarity with vag balls: doing it wrong hurts.
Now, I can’t even remember the last time I’d used vaginal balls. It may have been two years. I did credit them with helping me locate my G-spot but I didn’t particularly enjoy using them. However, it’s been long enough that I was willing to jump back into the game when I received my most recent Sexpert assignment. L’Amour Premium Weighted Pleasure System is an awful lot like the vag balls in the Couture Collection, and we all know that I think the two are pretty redundant. The balls themselves are hard plastic, with an elastic silicone connector and a long (3″ or 4″) silicone retrieval cord. They’re available in pink, purple, or blue, and while the blue is actually pretty cute, I received pink. The plastic is quite shiny and smooth, although there are raised “stripes” around the length of the oval-esque balls. The raised portion doesn’t feel sharp like a seam, however.
The balls measure about 1.5″ from end to end, length-wise. They seem comparable to other balls I’ve used and, even then, I remember them being large and a bit unwieldy. So I loaded up the Premium Weighted Pleasure System with some water-based lube (Frolic, if you’re interested), dropped the drawers and popped a squat.. and found myself completely unable to insert these things. I probably used a bit too much lube but the smooth plastic was definitely not working for me. That’s where Smartballs or K-Balls tend to win out: they’re better for grasping.
So I leaned one foot up on the bed and was able to insert one ball but not without stabbing my labia with finger nails and pulling on my hair. Man, how the hell did I manage it so many times before? When I was finally able to get the second ball in, it kept slipping out completely or just nudging at the opening to my vagina uncomfortably. I’d get it in, think it was staying, and it’d move right back down. I finally jammed both balls up there and they seemed to stay.. It’s kind of like the opposite of giving birth, you know.
The Premium Weighted Pleasure System is pretty damned effective at stimulating my G-spot if only because of their sheer size. They touch everything in my vag so if they managed to miss my G-spot, it’d be almost miraculous. I noticed almost immediately that I could feel the inner weights moving around. I mean, there’s no mistaking this. You don’t need to do jumping jacks or go for the job. Those suckers just move! I feel them when I walk, I feel them when I do chores, I feel them when I shake my hips back and forth just ’cause I can. I don’t remember any of the kegel balls I’ve tried before making such an impression. And after the initial movement, I feel the inner balls bouncing around a bit as they settle back into position. These are the vag balls I’d want to use during spanking.
I still don’t entirely love the concept, however. Because I’m not G-spot orgasmic, the constant pressure becomes a bit annoying. Sure, it makes it easier to squirt, but it doesn’t exactly feel good. The balls, once in place, aren’t necessarily uncomfortable, but if I move my muscles, they can be.
Because of the lack of texture, these balls slide ride out easily. They wash up with soap and water, but those decorative ridges create seams in the balls, and I’m curious why California Exotics wouldn’t just choose to use a silicone coating. In addition to that, if you really pull on the separator, you can pull it out of the balls further than it should be, and see the beginning of a loop. Granted, I was being pretty aggressive, but the construction left a little to be desired.
So, if you’re more into the idea of vag balls than I am, I’d probably recommend the L’Amour Premium Weighted Pleasure System.
