I’ve gotten a lot of interesting messages on OkCupid. Most of the ones I’ve started myself have fizzled out. I’ve made a good friend fallen in love with an adorable geek and I’ve had some interesting conversations. I’ve assigned nicknames to the people who really stuck out in my mind, including the Hot Nerd and Creepy Tall Guy. Now I can add this guy to the list; although, I don’t have a nickname yet. I’m thinking The Obnoxious Douchebag.
His first message didn’t sit quite right with me:
I read your “you should msg me if”…..and I fit ALL 3 of ’em. You look at my photo and you think “jock” “asshole” or whatever else comes to mind that’s intellectually demeaning. But I assure you, I’ve spent the vast majority of my life in nerddom. Much of that’s changed over the past 3 years or so, but…..I’ll always be a geek at heart. Afterall, my major is Math with actuarial emphasis. English was actually my second language; I learned numbers first. I’m a bit of a numbers freak (I’ve seriously freaked people out). But I don’t let many know that. But since you alluded to you having interest in geeky dudes, I figured I’d put the shit on point so I got another reason to message you. And for God’s sake, post a profile pic of you smiling, would ya! 🙂
And so I let him know. I wasn’t super interested in anything he’d said or his pictures but I figured, maybe he was nervous and we could turn things around when I responded:
I’m glad you read my profile but I do have to say that your message came off a bit aggressive. I feel almost as if you’re attacking me — in fact, you assume that I would make assumptions — and it’s a bit awkward, especially with the smiley face on the end. Perhaps you are just eager and/or I’m reading a bit much into this but I’d like to suggest, as politely as possible, that you might want to start out a bit differently, more calmly, so as to not scare off people in the future.
I checked with a guy friend to make sure it was friendly but on point. Apparently the meaning went over The Obnoxious Douchebag’s head because his response was this:
Um….there r so many chicks w so many dif personalities out there, i aint worried bout scaring a couple ubersensitive ones off.
That’s fine. Plenty of fish in the sea. Unless maybe you’ve resorted to a dating site. Then maybe you out to worry about how you might be scaring off the “chicks.” Also, use some God damned English, would ya?!
