Silky sheets Pear Blossom

August 23rd, 2009

Silky Sheets Pear Blossom

Silky Sheets Pear Blossom

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I first heard of Silky Sheets a few years ago when browsing some sex toy party catalog. One of my co-workers had purchased it but didn’t feel like it really made the sheets feel all that silky. Since then, I’ve heard several similar accounts but people still recommend this pheromone-enhanced spray because of its drying properties – something which can only be beneficial after a bedroom romp. I finally decided to give this scented, talc spray a run for its money and I have to say, I’m still not convinced.

If you’re unfamiliar with Silky Sheets, it comes in a 4 oz silver spray bottle with cap. It’s not entirely obscene but it’s nothing to show off, either.

I thought, if nothing else, I’d have good smelling sheets. I was wrong. I was torn between the different scents and so I gave my top 3 to a friend who urged me to go with Pear Blossom. It sounded fine. Unfortunately, it doesn’t smell either like fruit or flowers. The scent is something.. perfumey and too heavy, almost fermented. When I spray, I get a small glimpse at a smell I might like but it’s covered up by all the negative attributes. So I don’t think it matters at all if there are pheromones in here because my strong sense of smell is too busy objecting at the scent to process any pheromones.

Secondly, it sprays white. Yes, it can be wiped off and does wear off eventually but it’s super obvious at first. I did a test spray on my coloured armchair and was surprised. I sprayed my red curtain to the same result except, I couldn’t wipe it off right away. I guess you have to wait until it dries. Also, get ready for a visible puff of talc in your air.

But the drying is really where I thought it would work well and I waited anxiously for my husband to come home because I really don’t make much of a wet spot by myself. Sheets finally wet, I sprayed. And touched the spot. And only felt it was wetter. Frustrated, I left it alone and, eventually, it dried. I posted a thread about Silky Sheets on a sex forum but got no response from anyone who had used it. Someone did suggest spraying further away, so I did. Second go around, I had a bit more luck. It really did seem to dry up some smaller wet spots caused by massage oil but the big one, well, I’m not so sure. I gave it a generous spray and noticed no difference. I let it be and it was dry when I came back, and slightly “crispy” (like jeans dried on the line) from the Silky Sheets spray. Yet, I had left the fan on while I was gone and it had been some time. From other reviews, I got the impression that this would work much faster than that.

Without making two identical wet spots to test, I really can’t prove that Silky Sheets does or doesn’t work. I’ll probably continue to use it, just to empty the bottle and I wouldn’t necessarily discourage someone else from using it – as long as they stay away from the Pear Blossom scent – but I wasn’t blown away like I expected to be.

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Sex With My Love

August 20th, 2009

My husband is home and, of course, that mean sex. Unfortunately, it’s not as much sex as either of us would like but, on the other hand, I’m really glad I still want lots of sex after having it. Before he was deployed, I just thought too much about sex without actually doing it. I would think about the effort and the messes and I would actually ignore my body’s physical response to his touch because of the nagging thoughts. It was a miserable mindset and while I haven’t relished the fact that we have been apart for most of this year, I’m glad of the motivation it has provided.

When I think about sex, talk about sex, or blog about sex I tend to do it in a rather objective way. There’s definitely emotional disconnect even if I’m talking about my sex life. It’s not entirely unusual for me to get lost listening to my inner voice talk about the mechanics of sex and totally not be into it and.. that frequently leads me to think that I don’t really like sex and then I don’t want to have it but it’s not true. My inner voice really just needs to STFU sometimes and, right now, it’s pretty much drowned out by the rest of my body’s sexual needs. I touched on this on the EdenFantasys forums and, sadly, I don’t have much of a “cure” for this, at least not something that can be used on a frequent basis.

Anyway, this all sort of leads me to think that sex is very separate from emotion for me and that’s just not true. And I’m glad it’s not true. Maybe it can be and I’d be lying if I said a large part of my sex life doesn’t revolve simply around attraction and physicality but that’s not all of it. And maybe it’s not even the important part of it and maybe I’m just too wrapped up in my head to realize but, obviously, it’s nearly impossible to not have super emotional sex after your husband returns from deployment.

It’s good to feel that connected even if it feels awkward to cry during sex. It’s good to hold eachother that tight. It’s good to feel when you spend so much time not feeling. Sometimes I have such a hard time reconciling my thoughts with my feelings and all the feelings come pouring out so strongly that I just can’t think. Can’t. Despite the fact that so much of me thrives on control, I really do appreciate those moments and desire more of them when it comes to my relationship and sex.

In spite of the situation that has led to it, I’m grateful to be reminded that I like sex, I want it and having it is an emotionally charged experience. It’s shocking how easily that can be forgotten.

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Impatience

August 15th, 2009

I really can’t wait to get laid.

That’s all.

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Totally Fuckable Tuesday, Take IV

August 11th, 2009

I have had a huge crush on this actor for several years, since the first time I saw Alias (great series, really. Can you believe I’m not done with that series yet?). I love his character’s demeanor, it’s sort of soft spoken and reserved yet surprisingly strong. I’ve never met a person like that so his character was appealing.

Michael Vartan
But it’s not Michael Vaughan over whom I drool; it’s Michael Vartan and I hear he’s just as interesting a man as his character was. He has, on occasion, shown up to awards shows and such covered in bruises form playing hockey (a game he somehow works into most of his roles). I love that disregard for everything Hollywood. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been in a whole lot but he now plays a doctor in HawthoRNe and I would be lying if that, alone, didn’t make me want to watch the series.

Michael Vartan
I’ll be honest with you, though. I love Michael Vartan because he’s amazingly good looking. He has serious eyes with a charming yet boyish smile. Typical of me, I love how pretty he is and definitely prefer him clean shaven but he’s one of the few guys whose stubble I ever find attractive. And he has these adorable frown/laugh lines. They make him appear a little older than he is, in my opinion, yet it’s part of the appeal.

Michael Vartan Smiling

While I’m definitely a face girl, his body isn’t half bad anyway and he can rock a black tee with ease.
Michael Vartan in a Black Tee

Thanks to Beautiful Dreamer for this awesome concept.

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Berman Adonis G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator

August 8th, 2009

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I don’t know much about Dr Laura Berman except that she’s been on Oprah a time or two (even her Wikipedia page is scant, which is shocking for “America’s leading expert in female sexual health”) . I think we all know that the Cult of Oprah readily accepts the people and products that are on her show, giving them attention and praise (not to mention revenue), whether or not they are worthy of said attention and praise. Needless to say, I was dubious about how well a Berman Center product would work, especially with the disappointments I’ve had with Sue Johanson’s line of toys. After using Adonis, a dual stimulator, I now feel that Dr Berman knows her shit; she just doesn’t know how (or care) to put it together in the perfect package.

Right from the package, I noticed some differences between Dr Berman’s toy and every other toy I’ve ever tried. First, the box is a cool rhombus s shape from the top or bottom and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve used that word since geometry. LOL The outside panels boast the name, type of toy with the Berman Center logo a woman/uterus and a tidbit of information about Dr Berman and the toy itself. The front is actually a doubled-over flap, which opens to provide more information and a list of other Berman Center products. Initially, I didn’t even notice this, it sat so flush with the box.

This is a shame because the instructions for use explain the location of the G-spot when on your back and even explain that you may feel the urge to urinate. Although it’s not a complete guide to the G-spot, it makes this toy a lot easier to use for beginners. There’s also a note to only use oil or water-based lube and not to submerge when washing. I really wish every company provided this much useful information.

Inside, the box was fairly impressive too. It was made very secure by a piece of thicker cardboard which lined it. The Adonis G-spot and Clitoral Stimulator was inside a sealed plastic bag and that bag, in turn, sat inside another clear plastic bag with the control/battery pack. For anyone who has opened a box to find their toy floating alone amongst packing material after coming out of a horribly secured package, this is a step up for sure. There is also a thin, purple, organza bag included. The bag is nothing amazing but is definitely better than nothing at all. I like it, even if it doesn’t match.

The Adonis is a narrow C-shaped toy with a G-spot hook on one end and some soft nubbies on the other. It’s made of a pliable TPR silicone, not pure silicone. I don’t think the package actually makes this differentiation. On the plus side, it doesn’t seem to pick up lint at all. There is a slight texture which provides a bit of friction. Even at its thickest, the Adonis is no more than average penis girth, if that. It filled decently. I found the G-spot end provided very adequate stimulation but the clitoral nubs sat a little looser against my vulva than I’d like, resulting in a very light touch. If you like only a light touch, I would recommend this. Unfortunately, the shape wasn’t conducive to pressing it against my pubic bone how I like, despite the so-called finger dents. My fingers fell nowhere near those indentations, and the round shape of the toy didn’t offer a good handhold.

The Adonis is detachable from the control pack via removable plug-in jacks. Normally, I am not a big fan of removable jacks like this, but the Adonis does it uniquely. There are two motors in the toy with independent controls and jacks. One features 3 functions of steady vibration, and the other has 7 functions (low, medium, high, roller coaster, fast pulsation, stair stepper, and super speed). You can choose which jack to use for each motor, so if you prefer pulsation on the inside and vibration on the outside or vice versa, you’re set. This made me feel like I had control over the toy.

There is a single On/Off/Function button for each motor, which is raised and easy to find. This isn’t rocket science and is okay for the motor, which only has 3 functions but becomes a little frustrating with the 7 function motor. You have to page through the rest to the right one or turn it off. There’s also no universal off button; although, I suppose you could just pull the wires from the jacks if you had to. Ideally, there’d be a universal off button and up/down buttons, too. Plus, the control lacks balance as the batteries sit in it kinda weird. They sit in 2 rows or 2 (like this: ==), rather than doubling up thickness so it’s pretty long. The wires between toy and battery pack are a whipping 32″ long and don’t hinder movement. I did find them to be strangely thick but it doesn’t detract from use.

Overall, the vibrations were okay. The pulsation was actually really strong, so strong that pulsation on the clit alone also easily provided G-spot stimulation. On the other hand, the steady vibrations seem to have less life than the pulsations and were a high-frequency type of vibration. I also felt that using both motors at once was perhaps a bit distracting.

There is one major design flaw which is highlighted by the amount of noise this toy makes. The internal bullet typically operates as more than an acceptably low hum, but, strangely, its wire runs through the toy and sits right against the other bullet. This makes the external bullet much louder, almost painfully loud. It’s very distracting. In certain positions, this wire also rattles against the clit bullet even when only the G-spot bullet is on. Another strange construction decision is how the wires exit the toy. The wire from the clitoral bullet; they simply come out of a hole in the toy with no cover or cap. Care is a must when cleaning and I wouldn’t even try this toy in the shower.

In the end, I feel that the Berman Center Adonis G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator has a strong foundation. It works well for my shape, and with some thought given to the wires and an easier handhold on the outside, I would use it frequently. With the current flaws, I think it should be price more reasonably.

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What is Cheating?

August 6th, 2009

At first glance, a question like this might be easily answered by naming a specific physical activity. Most might consider sex to be cheating. Yet, anything more than a cursory glance will illustrate how difficult it is to define cheating. After all, even the definition of sex has become blurred over the years. There is vaginal, anal and oral. Then there’s phone and cybersex.

Still, others wouldn’t be comfortable with the idea of their significant engaging in an overly friendly hug. A kiss would be off limits. I would be lying if I said that certain non-physical acts would also fall under the umbrella of cheating, for me. My partner doesn’t have to touch someone to be cheating. Every relationship has actions which would make the parties involved feel cheated.

42-15701022Moreso, the advent of the internet has created new ways for people to communicate with one another and while there have been many benefits to this, there is also no doubt that it has also had negative and confusing effects. Where do online relationships and cybersex fall into the grand scheme of cheating? Do they not count because there is no physical contact or even because the parties involved may never even meet face to face?

As the number of activities one might consider cheating pile up, it becomes less clear just how to define it but perhaps that is because what activities are cheating is not the real issue. Furthermore, some couples don’t follow the standard definition of “sex equals cheating” at all. Where might polyamorists fall into the mess of things? Rather, focus on why these are activities considered being unfaithful not only sheds light on the dynamics of individual relationships but how society, in general, works. It also helps us to define cheating, at least as much as we need to.

I believe a universal definition of cheating would focus on committing any violation of the terms of the relationship, especially in regards to emotional and physical relationships with others. Doing so abuses trust that one party extends toward the other, resulting in one person feeling cheated. It is, perhaps a vague definition but it leaves it open to negotiation between the parties involved (and no one unnecessary). I think this definition works well for several reasons, highlighting important components in deciding what is right, or wrong, for your relationship.

Communication
Boundaries implies communication which means both parties have a chance to express what they are or are not comfortable with in their relationship. Because different people are comfortable with different aspects, communication clears up any grey areas. I don’t believe many people engage in accidental cheating. I don’t buy the “I slipped and fell on his dick” story. Consequently, I don’t think anyone should. 😉 Yet, I do think that some people cross the line unknowingly because they don’t set limits with their partner(s). Of course, we’re only human and cannot predict every possible turn of events so should grey area arise, I believe it is best to err on the side of caution. For example, if I said I would one day be open to a threesome and my partner brought home a third tomorrow, this would cross boundaries.
Honesty
Let’s be honest, here. People can and do talk the talk without walking the walk. Setting boundaries is pointless if we are not honest to our partners and ourselves with which things we are uncomfortable. While discussing with a friend she said she could agree to a threesome but still feel as though her husband was cheating. I gently pointed out because she was not being honest when she agreed to the terms. If she were, she would not agree.
Beyond the Physical
When I inquired to my friends and Twitter followers as to what they wanted to see, the replies about emotional infidelity were overwhelming. Not surprisingly, these comments came from women. I cannot help but wonder if this is because women are more likely to commit emotional affairs (but that is not the focus here). One thing was clear: many people consider intimate emotional relationships to be an offense just as egregious as physical adultery. In fact, some of the responses indicated that a long term emotional affair was worse than a one time physical one, with which I would have to agree. As you can surmise, both men and women also take a similar stance on about emotional or sexual relationships developed online. Unfortunately, many people feel as though they are skirting boundaries, not crossing them, when it comes to those type of liaisons because of the grey area. They use the ambiguity to their advantage, much like the zip code rule or the belief that “it’s not cheating if it’s with the same sex”. Again, if you care about hurting your partner, err on the side of caution, not cheating.
It’s you and me, baby
One thing I find crucial to defining cheating and dealing with it within our relationships is that no one but the parties involved can define cheating. This means that what is okay in your relationship it up to you, the same for me and mine. So if your definition of cheating is maybe a little more conservative than some, that’s fine. On the other hand, if you’re a little more open minded, that’s certainly okay, too. While your definition may differ from mine, it doesn’t matter. The definition of cheating doesn’t need to be universal. It just needs to work for the parties involved. There’s no one to please and no one has a right to judge. I recently participated in a conversation with the same friend from before where she felt that even if my partner and I decided to engage in an open relationship, she would still see it as cheating. I didn’t understand how it could be if we were both absolutely honest and comfortable with the situation. If neither of us felt cheated, how could it be cheating? I think I gently persuaded her that her issue was not about cheating at all but other issues and, were she able to resolve those issues, she wouldn’t feel the need to label someone else’s activities.

So what is cheating? It’s whatever you are uncomfortable within your own relationship. No one can define it for you and no one definition applies to every relationship.

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Sue Johanson’s Royal Rabbit Vibrator

July 31st, 2009

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Not too long ago, I tried a Sue Johanson rabbit vibe and was like “Hmmm, this a decent toy but it doesn’t fit me all that well.” I thought I’d try another toy by Ms Johanson and opted for her Royal Rabbit (I’m trying to get away from this purple kick, really I am!).

In terms of rabbits, this one is different. The Royal Rabbit could be seen as a sort of “back to basics” rabbit. It’s rather much smaller than some (especially compared to giants like the Passion Wave) and measures in at “only” 6″, 4.5″ of which are insertable. With a diameter that’s only slightly above 1″, it could very well be a newbie toy. It also only has one function. No beads or rotation here. The Royal Rabbit only vibrates and only in one place: the head. Because there’s no bullet in the clitoral stimulator, the bunny is much smaller. Lastly, the Royal Rabbit is not controlled by a bulky battery pack/control setup at the bottom of the toy but has a wired remote, the first I’ve tried on a rabbit.

What the Royal Rabbit lacks in size, it more than makes up for in texture and shape. The pthalates free, TPR silicone is ribbed on the shaft, to add an extra bit of sensation to your play. Because of the increased friction, using a bit of water-based lube is a good idea. The enlarged head is also decorated with bumps and whirls, which, I admit, I didn’t feel all that much. However, it’s shaped worked very well for mild G-spot stimulation, which I usually don’t get from rabbits. The head is much firmer than the shaft (which can be bent to about a 90-degree angle) or the bunny’s ears (but his body is about the same firmness as the head). Plus, I never had to deal with any painful cervix bumping. This vibrator was definitely a little easier to maneuver because of its shorter length.

The remote control also aided in maneuverability. Because of my short arms, I have trouble grasping uber-bulky vibes that extend what feels like 3 feet from my vagina. This usually results in the vibe hitting the back wall of my pussy rather than the front/G-spot. This definitely wasn’t an issue here and being able to see the control in my hand took out all the guesswork. The control is very easy to use as well. It has only two buttons: an On/Off button and a button that cycles through the settings. A lot of multispeed/setting vibes do not have a button for an “easy” off, so I also appreciated that. Seeing as this toy is supposedly waterproof, the battery cap does fit snugly and the wise is firmly attached with a little protective cap over it.

Function-wise, this vibrator has a few options. The vibrations start steady and there is a low, medium and high. Next is a setting called rollercoaster, a fast pulsation that increases in speed/frequency then repeats. This is followed by a slower, steady pulsation, then a medium-paced pulsation. The seventh and final mode is a sort of “dot dot dot dash” or three quick pulsations followed by a lingering one, which repeats. For 2AA batteries, the amount of power is what I would consider satisfactory. I did find the steady vibrations to be rather lackluster as that isn’t exactly what does it for me internally. The pulsations were more enjoyable, though.

Unfortunately, since the vibration is focused on the tip of this toy, it wasn’t to be felt near the clit at all. Even if I’m just holding the Royal Rabbit in my hand, I can barely feel vibrations in the bunny’s ears, but once inserted, there’s nothing to be felt at all. I wonder if it would have made more sense to center the vibrations in the middle of the shaft or even in the clit stimulator because I think the rounded head would still be pleasurable on the G-spot. Some people find that multiple functions of some rabbit vibes are distracting so they might enjoy the Royal Rabbit more than I did. Sadly, it offered no clit stimulation at all, and, considering as I am a clitoral orgasm kind of gal, it was disappointing.

Because of the textures I previously mentioned, one might want to take special care when washing the Royal Rabbit. Soap and water or toy cleaner (unfortunately, TPR silicone cannot be sterilized) will work just fine but take your time, perhaps even use a Q-tip in the ridges and whorls. I ran my toy under running water when cleaning and it was fine but I did try to stay away from where the wire protrudes from the vibrator itself as it doesn’t have a nice protective cap n that end, like the battery pack does. I might try this in the shower but would advise against full submersion, just in case.

I was not personally impressed with the Royal Rabbit. It didn’t fit my needs, but someone who can achieve vaginal/G-spot orgasms more easily than I can or who doesn’t mind pairing this with a clitoral vibe might enjoy it better. I do think that this vibrator is about the same quality as the other toys in Sue Johanson’s line; it’s a step up from most Cal Exotic toys, but we’re not talking Fun Factory or anything here. As it is, I don’t have any qualms about using the toy, and it seems decent quality, except for where the wire meets the vibrator. I simply need more than decent to blow my mind.

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