Magic Wand Original

May 25th, 2014

Magic Wand Original
$69.95 from Maxi Wand

For the rest of this review, I am going to use “Hitachi” because it’s easier to type and my nails are wet and I am annoyed. So, okay.

If you’ve ever seen the movie Blair Witch Project and you were curious whose stupid idea it was to do the handheld camera thing, let me suggest this. The shakeyness was not due to holding it by hand. Rather, the tripod was attached to a Hitachi. The Hitachi may also been the cause of the earthquake that altered the planet’s axis and shortened the day.

This is, to say, the Hitachi is strong. It’s the strongest toy I’ve used. It’s stronger, on its highest setting, than the Miracle Massager. The Inspire. That one terrible rechargeable massager that I used once before tossing it in my swap drawer, which omg-you-guys is getting so full! There’s a reason Hitachi has been around for a million and one years. It comes through where other vibrators don’t.

It’s effective as hell if you’re a power queen. It’s also strong enough to provide real comfort to achey bones and muscles, legitimately. If I place that thing on my clit, I feel it in my spleen. My nipples almost dance because of the strength of the Magic Wand Original.

And original it is! It hasn’t changed in design for many years, although the name and packaging got a revamp. But the design hasn’t changed. It’s clunky. It’s loud. Like a god damned chainsaw. It’s big. It’s not friendly if you’re injured or have arthritis.

Design-wise, Hitachi doesn’t stand out. Perhaps this is because every other wand maker copies them. Don’t break what isn’t broken, right? But I’m not sure that this design isn’t broken. Or maybe I am broken. At the end of the day, I prefer the lighter, curved body of the Miracle Massager. It’s weaker, but I really only use the Hitachi on low (more on that soon, I promise!). They both have springy heads, but I find the weird round and spongey head on the Hitachi to be lackluster. Miracle Massager has this edge that I grind into my clint/pubic bone. Hitachi’s head is too round, and I don’t get the pressure I like. Inspire has an almost completely round head, but it’s smaller, so I can really jam it up there between my labia. Is that a weird way to describe it? I don’t think I care.

Maybe I would like it better with an attachment. I’m sure I’d squirt like hell all over with the g-spot accessory, but I already have G-spot toys that are pretty good at that and are far less cumbersome.

Okay, so the shape isn’t to my liking but maybe that would be okay if the Hitachi knocks my socks off? And I would be lying if I said it wasn’t strong enough. In fact, it’s too strong, like I alluded to earlier. I only ever use it on the lower setting, which I prefer because the vibrations are deeper here. It’s not like the high setting is buzzy, but I just like really rumbly vibrations.

But the problem with a vibrator so strong is that it detracts from what I am feeling. It’s overwhelming. It feels and sounds.. too much. I wind up pulling away when I am about to orgasm because I guess my orgasms are hard work — even with the Hitachi — and not very strong. I like to feel my muscles contracting and the Hitachi is just too much of an attention hog. I literally wind up turning it off, but this makes it a little disappointing.

I’m well aware that my issues with the Hitachi are some of my own, but I think most people are looking for the right balance between shape, strength, effectiveness, and noise. The Hitachi just doesn’t do it for me.

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Icicles No. 52

May 20th, 2014

This is an archived review. Babeland no longer sells the Octopussy dildo. Furthermore, I have had a Pipedream dildo break because it is a lower quality glass.

I strongly recommend reading Lilly’s guide to glass sex toy safety before making any glass dildo purchases!

icicles no 52

My last experience with an Icicles dildo didn’t turn out so well because it fucking broke. In fact, my first was pretty lackluster, and I wound up trading it away so maybe it was a little risky for me to try another one. However, I thought the elongated tentacle design of this dildo would better fit me than any of the Icicles dildos I’ve tried thus far. I was right.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that this dildo is shaping up, literally, to be one of the better G-spot dildos I’ve ever owned (aside from Pipedream’s shitty glass). I know that it won’t be fantastic for everyone. If you need that drastic curve, then you might try Fun Factory’s Curve or the Pure Wand, which most people love for its curve. In fact, I found it difficult to find reviews of dildos with intense G-spot curves on Of Sex and Love. I just don’t like them! I’ve tried more G-spot vibrators that hit the spot, that’s for sure.

So this glass dildo head a curve, but it’s less intense. There’s also a bulb. I personally find that the shape perfectly cups my pubic bone and reached my G-spot with ease. It provided perfect stroking and while I don’t have trouble with squirting, it was so easy with Icicles No. 52. The gentle curving really made it easy to use even if it wasn’t necessarily the most filling toy I’ve ever used.

This is a fairly long and narrow  dildo at 7 1/4 inches long. You can technically insert most of it if you’d like. Although, I don’t think you’d want to. Toward the center of the shaft, the diameter is 1 1/4 inches wide. It’s not a very intimidating toy in my opinion, and I use just a dab of lube with it. You may not need any if you’re already warmed up. The bulb on the head is smaller than that, however. You can insert under 1″ thick if you don’t insert the dildo very far, and I found that I didn’t need to.

The glass provides rigid stimulation if you like it that way. The design is lighter than metal of a similar style but heavier than wood. There’s also texture on the shaft that is reminiscent of a tentacle. It’s engraved rather than ridges so you might not notice it as much. The sides of the shaft, which flattens out a bit, are smooth. So is the other end, which is an open loop that servers as a handle. Maneuvering this dildo is easy, even if your hands are full of lube.

Like all glass, it’s nonporous. You can clean it in a million ways. It’ll warm up against your body and in warm water. You can cool it down, too.

Icicles toys come in foam inserts in thin cardboard boxes. There’s no storage bag so you may want to invest in one if you’d like to protect it. I have enough fabric storage in my drawer that I can rest a glass toy in there without worries. A towel will also do the trick.

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Make love to your long distance lover online

Pjur Med Clean Fleece Moist Towelettes

May 18th, 2014

Pjur Med Clean Fleece Moist Towelettes
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product. You can still buy Pjur Med Clean Spray, however.

I’ve had a bottle of Pjur Med-Clean Spray for some time. I don’t use it as much as I should simply because it keeps winding up in my spare toy drawer. However, I was always super impressed that it wasn’t your run-of-the-mill toy cleaner. It’s gentle enough to clean your toys and leave on if you don’t have physical dirt to remove. I recommended still rinsing your toys if that was the case in my review of the spray. However, it’s tough on bacteria an germs. Pjur’s cleansing products are designed to help combat bacteria, fungi and viruses, and I don’t know anyone who is a fan of those things. Especially when you consider how long HPV can stick around on your toys — even the porous ones!

The product description uses the phrase “ an intensive antimicrobial effect against bacteria, fungal infections, and viruses such as Hepatitis B and HIV.” I remember reading this years ago. This has always stuck with me, but I never got around to trying or buying the wipes, which are formulated more for your body rather than your toys. The wipes aren’t different than others I’ve tried in use. Open the package, remove a wet wipe. Wipe down toys or yourself. They are unscented, but there is a slight “clean scent.” It fades quickly. I sometimes reach for the wipes when I want to freshen up without a shower. They do that, and the smell doesn’t linger in a way that would put me off from oral sex.

I know that Doc Johnson is making products to freshen up specifically for oral sex, but these are more versatile, and they’re a better value, too. The Oralove lign isn’t readily available. A 5-pack of those wipes costs between $5 and $8 while Pjur’s wipes come in a 25-pack for just under $12 from SheVibe.  They’re obviously a better deal and that isn’t even factoring in the fact that these wipes may possibly help inhibit the spread of STIs or bacterial infections, and we all know that I am not a fan of those. Because of this, I would even recommend using wipes after sex to help lower the risk of UTIs if you tend to be prone to them.

I’ve experienced exactly zero reaction from using these wipes. They’re intended to be safe for sensitive and even irrited skin, which is important when I run out of Aftershave Oil. The ingredients list is as follows:

  • Purified Water
  • Phenoxyethanol,
  • Cocamidopropyl Betaine
  • Chlorhexidine Digluconate
  • PEG-7
  • Glycerol
  • Cocoate
  • Dimethicone Copolyol
  • Neohesperidine dihydrochalcone
  • Sorbitol

These are exactly the same ingredients as the spay, so you could probably mix the spray with some soft towels of your own to make wipes like this to be honest. I’m a little lazy (and sloppy!), but that might be more cost-effective. If you don’t experience irritation from the spray, then you’ll be good with the wipes and vice versa.

I do rather enjoy the quality of these wipes, though. They’re soft but not linty. They don’t easily tear like some of the cheaper wipes I’ve used. It may sound silly, but you really get what you pay for when it comes to these things. Some store brands are fucking terrible.

Now that I’ve been reminded how much I like these products, I will quickly use

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Categories: Non-Sex Toys, Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty
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I Haven’t Used a Condom in 8 Years

May 16th, 2014

Condoms in a rowThis was a post that I thought of not too long ago. It struck me that most single people use condoms as both birth control and to protect against sexually transmitted infections, but my case is a little different.

It’s been over eight years since I last used a condom. In fact, the only person I’ve ever used a condom with was my ex-husband. However, shortly after moving to Japan to live with him on a military base, I got my first IUD. I kept that in longer than the FDA-recommended 5 years in the US. Mirena is rated for 7 years overseas, and I wasn’t sexually active for several years after my divorce.

My first sexual experience occurred in early 2013, and by that time, I was using my second IUD. I hadn’t had it in very long — maybe 6 weeks — and I can honestly say that I should have used a condom with this new partner, but I didn’t. I did, however, wind up taking Plan B and making an extra appointment at Family Planning. Everything was fine.

Since then, I’ve had only one partner, the bartender, and we’ve never used condoms. I don’t mind condoms as a whole, but I never wanted to use them with him. I wanted — and continue to want — to feel him. He asked about condoms the first time we had sex, but I set a precedent that we follow more than a year later.

In all, I haven’t used condoms in almost a decade. I’ve handled them only to stuff a Halloween pumpkin pinata full of alcohol, condoms and booze. There are a hanful floating around my bedroom thanks to sex toy retailers that send condoms and lube samples with their packages. If I need a condom, I know where to go.

However, they’re just not part of my sex life in a natural way. I don’t carry condoms in my purse. Nor do I have them in my pocket or make sure to grab them when I think that I might have sex. Indeed, I no longer think about condoms with lubes or bumps or ridges. I don’t care about condoms that heat up or cool down or are made of mesh. To be honest, I wouldn’t necessarily mind that. I didn’t dislike condoms as much as I do silicone lube, which seems to create a far greater barrier between me and my partners.

The bartender loves — and I cannot emphasize this enough — loves cumming in me.  I haven’t been able to get him to cum in my mouth because he loves orgasm during penetration so much. It’s almost amusing that he doesn’t want to deviate from that. It’s endearing; although, condoms certainly do make for a less messy sexual experience. But that alone isn’t enough to justify the cost of condoms when I have another, better method of birth control.

For many people, condoms are the answer, but I am not one of those people, at least, not at this point in my life.

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Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

Flying High: Sexy Stories from the Mile High Club [Review + Giveaway]

May 6th, 2014

Flying High
$15.95 from Amazon

Now, I’m not a member of the mile high club, but I think there’s something to be said for having sex on airplanes. Otherwise, why would so many people fantasize about it? I imagine it has something to do with being able to have sex with so many people around and not having them notice or, if it’s your thing, because you want them to notice. Perhaps the challenge of having sex in such a small place only makes the adrenaline run faster. Some people might rely on the release and reward of sex to calm their flying nerves or pass the time, which certainly seems to crawl by when you’re 30,000 feet above sea level with nothing but clouds out your window.

However, writing about sex on airplanes certainly presents another challenge. How do you make your story stand apart from those written by others? Indeed, I imagine that Rachel Kramer Bussel saw many similar themes, but the editor at Cleis Press was able to pull together enough stories to create an anthology that remains interesting and less than redundant. Although, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend reading the book in one sitting as it could become rather mundane.

Flying High does a good job of providing us with situations — strangers meeting on an airplane for sex, cybersex on airplanes, voyeurism, masturbation airlines and more — to keep things interesting. Many of the authors have added fantasy elements, which keep the stories in the book from being more of the same.

Like I said, I understand why sex on an airplane is appealing to some even though it’s not number one on my list of sexual acts to do. So I was pleasantly surprised when I opened the pages of this book and began enjoying it right off the bat. In fact the first story by Bill Kte’pe, one in which two couples who met online have arranged for a sexual rendezvous in the sky, is one of the most memorable of the book. It helps the book take flight without a hitch. The surprise ending adds to the story in my opinion, but I won’t spoil it for you.

Like any anthology, not every story in Flying High was for more. I skipped over one or two completely. In some cases, the airplane is really almost inconsequential. In stories like “Top Banana,” being on an airplane and one operated by a specific airline creates a recurring theme. In that particular story, Craig Sorensen relies on the theme to craft an interesting story and colorful visuals with an ending that I didn’t quite see coming — no pun intended.

The style and skill of the authors in Flying High varies as much as the particular plots of the stories. Some were simply not to my liking, and others seemed a little inexperienced or lacking the subtlety that I think makes a good story. However, they all brought something different to the table. Flying High might not be a book that you reach for constantly, but it’s worth checking out if you have a thing for the mile high club, especially if you’re not quite bold enough to go there yourself.

 

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Categories: Books, Reviews
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I haven’t gotten off in, like, a week

May 5th, 2014

Am I even alive?

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Sqweel Go

April 25th, 2014

Sqweel Go
$59.99 from Lovehoney

I suppose it’s not a rarity at all that I review two toys with similar functions in a row. However, both the Sqweel Go and Lelo’s Ora intend to be oral sex simulators, and there aren’t that many of them around. Both of them are basically revamps of existing technology, and Lovehoney has gone through a couple iterations of the original, which I reviewed many years ago. I wasn’t a huge fan, and neither were many women who tried it.

There are a few design tweaks between the Sqweel Go and the last one that I’ve used. There’s still a rotating wheel of silicone “tongues,” but the encasement is much smaller with the Sqweel Go. It’s not going to fight for space with my vulva! There’s a much smaller space to grab, but I don’t generally find this to be a problem. Lovehoney has also incorporated a single push button to cycle through the 6 settings. The button is big and raised and easy to find in the dark.

When it comes to the Sqweel Go, it seems like less really is more. The Sqweel Go  is intended to be the portable version of this oral sex simulator, but I think Lovehoney really should have started with this size to begin with. A problem that I and maybe women had with the original was that it was so big as to be clunky, and it fought for space with our vulvas. Because the tongues and the entire unit are smaller, it fits between my labia, especially if I push them apart.

At just a few inches in length, this is portable, but you’ll want to grab the USB cable before your trip. My Sqweel Go arrived charged, which was nice. I haven’t had to charge it yet, but your mileage will vary depending upon which setting you use it on. The Sqweel Go is

The tongues themselves are still soft silicone. Remember how the original was not made of silicone? The Sqweel Go survives the flame test. Smooth plastic — white or purple — replaces the black case, too. There’s no cover, which might be a hindrance for travel. You also can’t remove the spinning wheel for cleaning. So far, I haven’t found this to be a problem. The wheel is smaller an extends less “far” into the toy. You can soap it up and rinse with water while pushing the wheel around or simply turning the toy on to rinse. I think I prefer this. It involves no taking apart, which was annoying. This one is also waterproof. Though, I don’t think you’d get much sensation under water.

The sensation is quite similar to the original, but the smaller tongues means there’s less time between tongues. More contact equals more sensation. I approve. The smaller size fits better with my personal anatomy, and while this still doesn’t feel like a real tongue on my clit, it does feel good when it’s lubed up. The additional settings, are more interesting, and I can more easily tell between them. The settings are:

  • Slow
  • Medium
  • Fast
  • Short short long spin
  • short medium long longer spin
  • Rapid/short spins moving to pulsation

I think I like the new speeds and the pulsations are interesting. Although, the last setting feels quite a bit like the steady settings. The Sqweel Go also has a bit of an annoying wine that I could do without.

However, the Sqweel Go suffers from the same drawback this time around — no pun intended — as it did the first time. I cannot apply pressure. Well, I can apply some, and it doesn’t stop as easily as the original, but I can’t grind against it the way I would a normal vibrator, a person’s face or leg or even the Lelo Ora. I’m not even sure how Lovehoney could continue with this design while adding that. I think it just might be impossible. This ultimately places the Sqweel Go in the category of “warm-up toy” but because I don’t use toys for warm up — it’s all or nothing — I can’t see myself breaking it out of the toy box often.

 

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Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.