Fuck me.
Fuck me hard. Fuck me fast. Fuck me slow. Fuck me sweet. Fuck me silly.
Fuck me on the bed. Fuck me on the floor. Fuck me against the chair. Fuck me outside. Fuck me in public.
Just fuck me.
Save Big at Lovehoney
March 20th, 2014
Lovehoney’s spring sale is currently going on. Not only can you save $15 on $70 — no code needed — but there are some awesome toys available.
Ceramix No. 6
1. Ceramix No. 6
It’s like the Ceramix dildo that I reviewed, but stripey-er. The ridges are interesting, and you’d likely enjoy it if you don’t need a lot of curve for G-spot stimulation. It could also be use anally and with a harness. Yay!
2. The Mute Swan
Rechargeable. Silicone. Curved. I haven’t tried the Mute Swan, but the toy looks elegant and luxurious. It’s also 26% off right now.
3. Embrace Bunny Wand
I’ve been wanting to get my hands on an Embrace toy for a while. This new, USB rechargeable line comes to you form California Exotics, and it looks pretty nice. The bunny has a filling shaft and long ears.
Ceramix No.1
4. Ceramix No.1
Sexy purple mushroom straight out of Wonderland? I think so! It’s been a long time since I’ve done anal play. Maybe I should change it up with this plug. At $20 on sale, this is the cheapest you’ll find the plug, too!
5. Lovelife Dream
I like Cuddle, the g-spot vibe in this line, but that’s not on sale right now. However, Dream is a cute little vibrator with a price of just $54. The shafter is straighter so it’s good for general internal and external stimulation.
Out of everything on Lovehoney’s sale page, what would you get?
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He’s A Good Guy
March 17th, 2014
I know that I shouldn’t respond this way but when someone talks about her boyfriend, her fiance, her husband, her partner, and all she has to say is that he’s a good guy, I expect a “but.”
Because being a good person is good. I mean, the word “good” is directly there. However, it just sounds so.. lackluster. Like they’re talking about a piece of furniture and not the person that they are committed to in a long-term relationship.
I want to hear about how a person feels and what that person means to them. Is he good to you? Does he make your heart pitter-patter? Is the sex amazing? I am logical in every other avenue of life, but I just can’t be when it comes to love.
There is a logical part of me that understands contentment and reliability, but I don’t think that I could ever personally settle for that.
Perhaps it is all semantics. Perhaps these people are more reserved than I tend to be when describing how someone makes me feel. It could just be that they aren’t used to talking about themselves or perhaps they don’t want to bore me with the details, but I like details. I like specifics, and I don’t enjoy vagueness or put-on “mystery”.
Maybe I want to hear a person’s smile in their voice when they tell me about their partner and all about how happy they are. I have no poker face. What you see is what you get, and my heart is on my sleeve. I don’t understand people who don’t operate like that. Nor do I think that I would ever want to. Because it makes people happy when I am happy and sad when I am sad and, yes, maybe a little annoyed when I am over-the-top in love. But there’s never any doubt that the person I love is more than a good guy — he’s the best I could want!
4 Comments
Odeco Aine Silicone G-Spot Vibrator
March 4th, 2014
Odeco Aine
£45
from Simply Pleasure
I feel as though many of my recent reviews for G-spot vibes have been lackluster. The Gigi 2 is not for me in any way, shape or, well, mostly shape. The Revive EnerG just didn’t do anything better than my Mona or Mona 2. Maia Toys and Pipedream. In fact, I really took a break for a while because I was so underwhelmed with new toys — most of which just haven’t done anything different.
After several years of sleek, silicone toys, the Aine isn’t groundbreaking. The shaft uses contemporary lines that aren’t phallic at all. The base and control panel are very Lelo-esque. I do like the black and pink scheme, however. It’s attractive. I prefer it to white and an accent colors. Aine doesn’t necessarily do anything new.
and I really feel like the difference between most G-spot toys at this point comes down to shape and, perhaps, charging mechanism. Aine’s shape is svelte with a relatively thin and. wider head and a swell at the gentle curve to stimulate your G-spot.
Perhaps what is surprising is that toy runs on AAA batteries in an age when most toys are rechargeable. This leaves Aine with a much lower price point than most rechargeable vibrators — about $75. Sure, you can find some rechargeables at that price. The Lovelife line is a decent example of that, but you’re going to pay $100 or more for the big-name toys.
Now, I am notorious for hating toys that rely on just 2 AAAs. They cannot provide the strength or depth that I want, but maybe I have been wrong. On the lowest steady setting, Aine is stronger and deeper than Mona. As you turn it up — there are 4 steady settings — the vibrations get buzzier and Mona’s highest setting is higher overall, but I was impressed enough with the vibrations that I actually forgot this was battery powered when I sat down to write my review. I think manufacturers need to recognize that turning up settings almost always decreases depth. In fact, I think the Revel Body touched on this but didn’t leverage it correctly.
Simple cardboard and plastic packaging
The other settings include a quick pulsation that is identical in duration to one on the Mona. It’s noticeably stronger, however. I am really not a big fan of pulsation. I prefer steady vibration by far and the weakest but deepest setting is my friend. All of this is controlled by a round button. The button has a +, – and a center power button that you have to hold for a few seconds each to power on and off. I like instant gratification. This just won’t do. The other two buttons cycle through strengths and settings, similar to the Layaspot.
With more girth than Mona, Aine is a good vibrator if you want something that feels more filling. Aine measures 7 inches total. You can insert about 5 of those. The shaft has a diameter of 1.5″ at its thickest, but it’s oblong and not perfect round as you can see in the photos. There are also some stylized ridges, but I don’t feel them during insertion so they’re neither here nor there. It’s got a thick silicone layer that’s silky but unyielding so it’s easy to apply pressure during insertion. Aine is much louder, however.
The packaging with this one is fun but easily recycled, and that’s all that I care about. There’s no storage bag which is a bummer because the silicone collects lint, but it’s nothing that can’t be rinsed off. This vibe is only splashproof, so not taking it into the tub. The battery pack slides off the back of the base, and there’s not much to protect from water. This isn’t a deal-breaker for me. It might be for you.
8 Comments
Statistics
March 1st, 2014
There are 7 billion people on this planet. And even though I haven’t met all of them — I can’t possible meet all of them in a single lifetime — there’s only one person who makes me feel like you do. Out of everyone who I’ve ever met, there’s only you who has made me feel
- Safe
- Accepted
- More myself
I cannot say that others haven’t come close. Or that someone else might make me feel the same. Or that someone might even do it better. I am not a fortune teller but, as of this very moment in time and space, you are one in 7 billion.
And I don’t even think you realize this.
Without you, I am less me.
2 Comments
Leaf Fresh+
February 23rd, 2014
Leaf Fresh+
$112
from TabuToys
There’s no way not to directly compare the Leaf Fresh+ to the original Leaf Fresh. As I used it, and as I write this review, I am scrambling to make those direct comparisons. The issue is that the original didn’t really leave that much of an impression. It was powerful for its size. It was bright green. But it wasn’t shaped right for me. Ultimately, I passed it on. I don’t remember who got it but, if it was you, I hope you enjoy.
As to the Leaf Fresh+, I sort of wish I hadn’t swapped that original way so I could compare. In my experience, most renewed toy lines -cough-Gigi 2-cough- tend to be stronger but not “100% stronger” or whatever the manufacturer would have you believe. I am inclined to think the same with the Fresh+. It feels strong for its size, but I remember the original feeling that way, too.
So, too, do I feel about the shape. It’s cute to look at it but I’m inclined to use it in a way where the single push button is actually in my way. I wanted to rest my finger where the button is, along that curve, to press the toy into me. This is because I do not want to use the vertex. I’m into more broad stimulation, and the corner is just too pinpoint for me. However, you could love this vibrator if you like pinpoint vibrations.
One thing that does differ is how the button works. When I wrote the original review, these were one of the few toys that used the method that pressing and holding the button increased the frequency while letting go turned it off. I like this method, but it’s not super common, and it frequently results in frustration when you’re in the middle of a masturbation jam session and your freaking vibe shuts off.
So the new button uses a long press to power off, and the normal press switches between modes. There are 5 settings overall
- low
- medium
- high
- escalation
- varied pulsation
I would stick to the constant settings personally. I don’t find the escalation or pulsation to be my style. I prefer a slightly slower pulsation, but I’m not sure that the strength is enough for pulsation. However, I noticed a distracting rattle during the pulsation that I can’t get over. There’s probably something a little loose in the casing, and I’d be interested if any of you have a similar experience in the comments.
Aside from the rattle, the toy is quiet-ish. Louder than Lelo’s Siri but an acceptable level for what power output. This isn’t the most rumbly vibrator I’ve used, and the higher steady vibe setting is definitely most buzzy. I imagine that I would become too quickly accustomed to the vibrations after a long session, just like I did the first Fresh.
This one also retains the soft silicone, which I like when I’m holding the vibe. It’s certainly a little easier on my fingers, but a broader toy to grasp would do a better job overall. It collects lint like a mofo, but you can keep it in the storage bag to reduce that. A water rinse is the only thing that will get hair and lint off completely.
Like the original, this one is rechargeable. It comes with a USB cable that doesn’t have an outlet adapter. The plugin seems to be the same as the original Leaf line, but I have not been able to successfully charge my Leaf Life with it. Bummer because I no longer have that charger around.
This time around, I’m not nearly impressed with the whole “eco-friendly” schtick. I’m not sure if it’s all that true to be honest.
While I did get off with the Fresh+, it’s not my favorite toy. Other shapes work better for me and I think BMS needs to go back to the drawing board when it comes to the rattle.
