Pure Romance Is (Even More Of) A Scam!

October 31st, 2013

Nothing about Pure Romance is "pure"
Nothing about Pure Romance is “pure”

I’ve gone to my fair share of Pure Romance parties. The company seems to be the one that’s most prevalent in many places; although Passion Parties is another name that I know.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve written about sex toy parties. They can be a great deal of fun; although, that depends on who’s there and your consultant. The event might be right up your alley. I’ve had plenty of fun and made new friends at some of them, but others have been a little more lackluster.

However, my issue is with Pure Romance as a company, which doesn’t just sell you sex toys and bath and body items but sells you rebranded items that are marked up. I already knew this about the vibrators and such. As the rep went through the catalog, I recognized several pieces that I had tried by California Exotics. Marilyn was on the list, as well as a number of cheaper vibrators that were marked up 50 to 100 percent. Jaguar is a toy I wouldn’t recommend at $30 let alone $59.

The rep skipped right through the Diamond collection because “we didn’t have that much money,” but it was mostly Jopen products.   The Wingman, for example, costs $189 from Pure Romance but the original in the Jopen Ego line is $110. Various items from the Key line are marked up $20 or more.

But, like I said, this is old news. I mostly go for the bath and body products, and I was curious about the pink cupcake scent that’s new. I love my pink cupcake products from Classic Erotica. As it turns out, they smell exactly the same because..

Holiday Products makes both Classic Erotica and Pure Romance.

Now, this could be convenient for some people, but the markup is ridiculous. Pure Romance brands both a shaving cream and a body mist, got $19 and $20, respectively. However, even sex toy vendors charge less than $9 for the body mist. Crazy Girl’s shave cream costs less than half the Coochy-branded cream and, yes, Coochy from either Classic Erotica or Pure Romance is essentially the same thing. The big different? The scents available and what products are there.

Both lines include Body Dew, but Pink Cupcake isn’t available from Classic Erotica. Similarly, not all of the Pure Romance products are available in the other brand. However, even if you can only get it from Pure Romance, you don’t have to buy it from a book party. You can usually hop onto Ebay and get it for much cheaper if you don’t mind waiting a few days for shipping.

However, that’s not the only issue I have with Pure Romance.

Consultants Are Not Given Enough Sexual Health Information and Some of That Information Is Plain Wrong

I don’t expect a sex toy party to be an eye-opening experience, but the last of information was pretty sad. For example, Pure Romance sells anal numbing and vaginal tightening creams, both of which are unhealthy. There’s no warning about them, of course. Plus, numbing creams actually negate you body’s natural response to pain (read more about this here). If it hurts, you’re doing something wrong. The consultant said as much.. right before she hawked the numbing products from the company.

And a warning about silicone lube and silicone toys? Nothing. Sure, she mentioned not to store your toys next to one another but not why. Pro tip: if you leave a jelly toy for long enough, it will leech mineral oil. No mention of using condoms and never using a porous toy that’s been used anally vaginally — ever again. She did mention that no silicone is ever clear, but I’ve seen some of the awesome stuff that Jollies made.

And when someone asked the difference between metal and silicone, she responded that silicone warms to body temperate and metal doesn’t. Actually, both can warm; although, metal feels quite cool if you haven’t prewarmed it, which you can do with warm water. Silicone is also available in a variety of firmness, which is what I wanted to say, but I knew it didn’t pay

Finally, I was absolutely appalled when the rep said that there was only one type of orgasm, and you’re stimulating the same party altogether. No, you are not. Mary Roach wrote a revealing article “The Immaculate Orgasm: Who Needs Genitals?” that’s in her own book and Best Sex Writing 2009. In it, she talks about research on women with spinal injuries who retain the ability to achieve one sort of orgasm but not the other because clitoral and G-spot orgasms trigger different nerves. Not only that, but saying that there’s only one type of orgasm negates all the experiences that women have had, the very women who are at a Pure Romance party to explore their sexuality. Negative comments can be permanently damaging to these women, and that’s just not cool.

Let’s not forget, once and for all, that..

Pure Romance is a pyramid scheme.

And it works only when you can guilt your friends into paying for products.

So let’s just be done with them. You can buy directly from manufacturers like LELO. Shop around online. PinkCherry always has amazing sales, and bloggers like myself are more than happy to write a review to set you on the right path.

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The Post In Which I Have BV

October 29th, 2013

Last week, I called Family Planning because I am just so sick of bleeding all the time. You see, I’ve been having issues since April, and maybe I’m some sort of terrible person for not dealing with it, but I felt pretty confident that the NP would simply say it was a side effect of my Mirena.. even if I went six years without such problems before.

Color me surprised when she sounded just as confused as I was. I explained how I’d get my period every 30 days pretty much like clockwork. Then, my period would seemingly end. I’d be happy to stop using tampons and such. After a few days or a week, I’d start spotting for another week or so. This has happened consistently for months. I figured it might be my body adjusting — slowly — to the new IUD or Plan B, so I gave it time to even out. Last month, it stopped. I thought I was home free!! It was a lie. The “second period” spotting came back again, and I was just fucking done with it, so I made a call.

I supplied all the extra information, too. My period was heavier, especially when I first got my IUD, than it had been in some time. I had also taken Plan B toward the beginning of the year, which resulted in two periods, so it seemed like this could be some residual side effect. I’d taken many pregnancy tests since April, when I’d started sleeping with the bartender, and all were negative.

Like I said, the NP had no idea. She thought that it could be due to an infection: yeast, BV or chlamydia. Perhaps my monthly cycle is making it flare up more, I thought. At least all of those issues can be knocked out with a round of antibiotics. So she scheduled me for an appointment the next day.

I went in for an exam and things looked okay, maybe BV. The NP looked under the microscope and confirmed it. She sent me home with a week’s worth of antibiotics, warning that my tongue might become furred — whatever that means — and instructions not to have sex or drink. I literally said, “You’re killing me, smalls.”

I’ll take my last pill here shortly. Fortunately, I’ve had none of the side effects. Unfortunately, I’ve had no sex and no opportunity for it. I can only assume this round will clear up the infection that the NP found, but I had no other symptoms to begin with. Whether this will help the spotting that lasts for a whole freakin’ week every month is anyone’s guess.

I guess, though, it’s something to add to my done-it list. Now I’ve had an infection. Woo. Also, I got a pamphlet that tried to be ethnically diverse.

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Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

A Very Sexy Halloween with ILovesexy.com [Review]

October 27th, 2013

Cheetah-Licious Costume

Cheetah-Licious Costume
$34.99 - $51.38 from Amazon

Cheetah-Licious Costume

I’m something of a crazy cat lady, so this costume made perfect sense for me. Unfortunately, it’s just not a perfect costume. It’s all about sizing, but even though I ordered mine, this isn’t super flattering. It’s due to the sizing. It runs snug. Think original Star Trek uniforms. This is so small/tight as to be a top, and it might look cute with some leggings. I’m not a legging person, however. I was really hoping to wear it with the petticoat but there’s just no room.

So let’s start from the bottom up. The furry border on the bottom barely covers my own bottom (maybe some booty shorts would look cute). This is standing up. There’s no way it’ll cover anything sitting down. I like to wear petticoats to help cover my ass with costumes, but it fits like a second skin, so there’s really no room.

This is snug around the midsection in a way that I find unflattering. Period. The velour material seems thinner than other costumes I’ve worn, so this only adds to the issue. The costume isn’t for you if your middle is your trouble section and you won’t wanna wear some Spanx.

This costume has some problematic.. spots

This costume has some problematic.. spots

The breast area probably looked the best, but it’s not without its own issues. The neck is low and square, so my bra wanted to show. A demi or shelf cup would be best. Even though the top was tight around my breasts, there’s only C cups, so the lace didn’t pull apart as much as you’d expect. I think there’s simply a bit much material and a wider V cut would help with this. Mine came laces backward, with the bow on the bottom, but it’s easily fixed.

The neckline leads you to the hood, which is huge. You’ll see it in the photos. It hangs down over my nose. I didn’t have the help of a partner to take a picture of this, however. While you can wear it further back, the ears so of become lost. The ribbons and balls that hang down are for looks only. They do not actually adjust the hood, so keep that in mind.

The arms are probably my favorite part. Long sleeves can sometimes be quite flattering on me. These were snug but with enough room to move. The fur at the ends was cute, but be careful not to drag it in your party dip. I’m only 5’2 and these were a tad long, but they may be short for taller women.

Of course, on a taller woman this would literally be a hoodie, and that’s the problem. Plus sized costumes usually are longer — as is the case with the petticoat — but this one just isn’t. It makes me wonder how long the other sizes are. The measurements follow:

  • Length (shoulder to hem): 32″
  • Width at hem: 22″ flat
  • Width breasts: 18″ flat
  • Waist width: 16.5″
  • Arm length: 23″

These numbers certainly don’t suggest an XL to me.

If I were to try to wear this, I’d go with leggings under the leg warmers, which are also kind of a fail. They run long on my 5’2″ frame but tight. The elastic around the top stretches to around 8 inches, but it feels super tight. I have muscular calves. Around the bottom, it’s open to cover your footwear — 11 inches flat. The leg warmers are just under 18 inches long. However, they’re more easy to adjust than the rest of the piece.

Thigh highs always look sexy

Thigh highs always look sexy

Sheer Lace Top Thigh High Stockings With Backseam

I experienced the same “issues” with the thigh highs as I do other plus-size items. I tend to fall directly between one size and plus size. So these went on easily. They sat against my skin nicely. They didn’t cut in, but they also weren’t snug enough to keep up. This was especially true with the first garter belt I used them with, which has longer straps. There was just too much slack in the garters, so I switched it out to another pair with shorter straps. This worked fine but, as you know if you’ve ever worn a garter belt with stockings, it’s just a pain to get them into place. Fortunately, I did this before Halloween, so I know which one to use when it comes down to it.

Although this comes with a large band, which I think is more flattering in curvier thighs, there’s no elastic backing. So you’ll definitely need garters to keep it up. The lace band measures about 8″ across unstretched. It stretches to at least 10″, but I don’t have a third hand so that’s a fuzzy estimate. As for length, I found these a little long to sit at mid-thigh with my shorts legs. At 5’2″ I’m definitely on the bottom range. The thigh highs weren’t quite as taut as I’d like them, so these would ideally fit someone a little wider in the thigh and taller for me. However, that’s really good news for anyone who’s a little higher up in the “plus” size range.

The appeal of these stockings is definitely the backseam. It’s super sexy, but hard to photograph by one’s self with such short arms. You’ll have to adjust it after you pull them on, even if you think you’re pulling them on straight. However, it’s super visually attractive.

I’d generally recommend these but with a few caveats. There won’t last more than a couple wearings, even if you handwash. The nylon is delicate, but that’s really the case with all thigh highs. There’s no reinforced toe, so it might be especially likely to rip or run there. Of course, I found that the mesh and lace got caught in my nails, which is hard to avoid when you have nails. However, my garters didn’t immediately put holes in the lace, which is good.

Petticoat: also long and fluffy!

Petticoat: also long and fluffy!

Plus Size Petticoat

I’ve already got a pretty pink petticoat that I love, so I knew what I wanted when it came to getting on in black. In short, I want fluffy! This petticoat has two layers to offer some fluff. A satin panel toward the top helps with modesty, too. I generally like it; however, it’s far longer than the product images. This is likely due to the fact that the product page uses the one size model, and the plus size is cut longer/larger.

For reference, the petticoat is about 17 inches long at the longest point. The satin panel is 5 inches. The waist measures 14 inches flat/unstretched. There’s a lot of stretch to be had in this, so while it fits me almost loosely, it’ll go up to the 1x or 2x range, too, I’d think.

As for length, you can simply roll up the elastic band or pull it up higher if you’re wearing it under something else. That’s what I did.

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Wonderland Vibrator Giveaway

October 22nd, 2013

Wonderland - The Heavenly Heart

The Heavenly Heart

With Halloween soon approaching, I thought one of the Wonderland vibes would make an awesome giveaway prize, and the kind folks over at Shhh have agreed to give on of my readers their own taste of Wonderland. (Side note: I found Once Upon a Time in Winderland too convoluted for my tastes. How ’bout you guys?)

So I thought this giveaway would be excellent given the time, and while I haven’t had a chance to use them, they look adorable. I don’t own too many novelty toys at this point — though, I’ve certainly love a nice tentacle dildo — but I’ve enjoyed the look of this line since the very start.

The Wonderland series has four models designs that represent characters or topics from

Shhh carries the first three on the list, all of which are available for £40. Each is a gentle vibrator that uses a single AA battery for power. The toys are waterproof and each have multiple functions.

If you want your chance to win one for free, use the widget below.

Click here if the widget doesn’t load.

Giveaway ends November 20.

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Get up to 30% off at MysteryVibe

The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys Review + Giveaway

October 16th, 2013

It’s interesting that I’ve read Violet Blue’s blog on and off for years without reading anything of hers in print (well, I did read books that she’s edited). Now, I can add that to my to-done list, which is my version of a bucket list — only I add things that I’ve already done. The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys is intended to be the book about sex toys, the Bible of sex toys. I’m not quite sure that I’d swear an oath on this book, but I’d probably recommend it to most people.

If you’re not familiar with the author, her work or her expertise in the field, the forward by Charlie Glickman talks about her experience working for Good Vibes. You can also check out her blog here. Charlie, who has asides through the book, co-wrote the Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, which I really liked. Both the forward and the content of the book really dive right into the subject. It’s a no-nonsense approach that could maybe be a little more “inviting” by giving some stats about how many people enjoy sex toys of something of that nature. If you’re curious but not quite adventurous, you’ll get the gist that sex toys are fun, but this book might not be as reassuring as you’d like.

This doesn’t mean that the book isn’t useful, however. On the whole, the things I had problems with were very specific and probably only bothersome to me because I do know as much as I do about sex toys. The gen– doesn’t mention not to use silicone The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys was just fine. Most people would be just fine if they followed the advice that I have to nitpick, and many people wouldn’t even notice what seemed like errors to me. You want examples? Okay!

Cons

  • Violent mentions water-based lube as the most common (true) but only discussed silicone-based lube as an aside. I saw no mention of not using it with silicone toys.
  • In the first chapter, which contains information about cleaning toys, Violet recommends antibacterial soap but doesn’t mention that soaps containing triclosan must remain on an item for 2 minutes to be effective
  • She also says that no clear silicone exists. While translucent toys typically are made of jelly/rubber/PVC, Jollies dildo are somewhat translucent.
  • Although she mentions wooden dildos, there was no mention given to any of them or brands like NobEssence. Um, what?
  • While she mentions vaginal balls, I don’t recall a specific naming of any brand or recommends about safety; i.e. don’t use disgusting balls with string connectors. Eww.
  • There’s no mention of the Liberator Throe, which I haven’t reviewed on this blog but still remains one of the most coveted items in my collection.
  • Violet spends a bit of time on camming as part of cybersex. I guess I don’t personally find this to be toy-y in my mind. Anyway, she talks about how webcams basically suck and that you have to buy them, ignoring the fact that almost all computers are equipped with a cam, and many phones have front-facing cameras. She then goes on to give a very specific HTML code about refreshing your website when showing your streaming cam but doesn’t say how to do that in the first place. Given the lack of relevant and timeliness, this entire section is unnecessary.

I did find it curious that every.single.time Violet mentioned a website or brand that I was not familiar with, the website no longer existed. This was the case with Luv Seat and Clear Ecstasy. The latter is a glass dildo maker and while I can find items from the company on retailers, they’re unimpressive and not what she was talking about. Similarly, Violet mentions a programmable vibrator by Je Joue, which I believe to be the predecessor to Sasi, which the company no longer makes. A little fact-checking would have gone a long way. This is especially true when you consider that this is the second version, which means it should specifically correct those errors.

I didn’t hate the book, however. It’s just much better suited to someone who couldn’t have written it. In fact, I found that there was very little information that isn’t freely available online, some of it even on Of Sex and Love.

Pros

  • Violet includes a section about risks of spreading diseases and infections through sharing sex toys, anal/oral and penetrative sex in the very last chapter. This might be the most useful representation I’ve yet seen of
  • The book is neither homophobic nor heteronormative. With general references to partners, gay and straight people alike will find it suitable for them.
  • The information about sex machines was definitely more than I knew before picking up this book — er, the PDF version, that is.
  • The same goes for USB toys, some of which you can actually have a partner control from their own computer. I had no idea about this before.
  • The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys walks you through the basics of toys, bringing them up to partners and a bit of anatomy to
  • Of course, you can skip any chapter and go right where you need to be. Sol while I might bitch about something, I don’t need to read it.
  • At just shy of 150 pages and is an easy read, you can finish the full thing in less than 2 hours!

So, if that’s piqued your interest at all, you can buy the book on Amazon.

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What Sex Toy Retailers Can Learn from the EdenFantasys Scandal

October 13th, 2013

Let me preface this article by explaining which scandal I am talking about because there are many. EdenFantasy has been doing wrong by employees, clients, manufacturers and reviewers for years. But several months ago, the owner “discovered” there was barely enough revenue left to keep the company afloat. He fire all the employees and shut down all the clubs and programs, including Sexis and EdenCafe, that had been going on. He, then, decided to cut how many points — points that contributors had earned — that contributors could put toward their orders. This resulted in a strange “point consideration proposal” by Fred who literally and liberally berated the community for abusing the system that he had championed for years.

I quote:

You will be asked to submit a reconsideration request. It is optional. If you chose not to participate, your points will remain as they are now.
We review the submission manually and decide whether your points will be restored or completely erased.

All your points (or converted Gift Cards) will be cancelled and removed if company finds that you accumulated 500 points or more by intentionally abusing the system.

EdenFantasys is not a store you an trust!

Around this time, many products were “discontinued.” Reviews and orders were being canceled left and right. Some, mind included, took months to get out. Anyone who wanted to buy something was hard-pressed to do so. Affiliates who had reached their payouts were not — and some still haven’t been, 5 months later — paid. During this whole thing, Fred refused, and then denied when I brought it up, to discuss or admit the state of the company. He banned many contributors and limited the accounts of others, myself included. However, many of the previous employees began to speak up about how this was just the cherry on top of the shit sundae.

Reviewers and shoppers who wised up by reading posts like mine left in droves, many opening up a blog for the very first time. Others took to Twitter and other review/affiliate programs in light of Fred/EdenFantasys’ policies.  SheVibe opened their own forum.

There’s no doubt that it’s a ridiculous scandal and one that could have been completely avoided. It hurt the company and left the community scarred and fragmented, but that’s not all there is to it. Eden’s fallacies are absolutely a lesson that other companies can — and should — learn from. This is far from a cohesive list, so I encourage you to add your thoughts in the comments. I may even add them to this post. The scary part is how many of these facts are simply common sense.

Business Management

  • Don’t turn a blind eye to things like the bills. They don’t go away. Quite the opposite. They pile up, and you ruin your reputation with consumers, manufacturers and other companies with whom you have a relationship. When it gets to the point that the company needs to be shut down or sold immediately because you ignored or tried to deny away the problem for months or even years, there’s no one to blame but yourself.
  • Yes, you have to spend money to make money. No, you shouldn’t spend thousands or millions of dollars on projects that don’t bring in money and ultimately bleed the company dry. Yes, working with bloggers can yield positive results. No, it shouldn’t be your only end game.
  • Don’t blame the customers for your bad business practices. This falls under the “there’s no one to blame but you” category, but I’ll talk about it more anyway. Don’t blame customers for taking advantage of programs or sales that you created.
  • It’s such a sleazy thing to base your business on the idea that you will make deals with others. That you will slip them something a little extra under the table or that you’ll bow to their demands to appease them, especially if you’re hurting your customer in the process.
  • Don’t try to do it all. Even if you have the best of intentions, you can’t do it all. You just can’t. Determine what you can do and do it well rather than spreading yourself too thin. Otherwise, you wind up starting clubs and giveaways and blogger outreach. The best case scenario is that it works with a few hiccups or that it doesn’t, and you can gracefully back out. Sometimes people will understand. On the other hand, if you don’t realize that you’re setting yourself up for failure, you might make a bunch of promises that you can’t deliver on, which may result in some unhappy customers.
  • Treat your employees well because they are what make your company run. They may be the face that customers see. They have the power to testify against you in court and to tell your dirty little secrets.

Community

  • When you reward your contributors for listing pros and cons about things, they’ll do the same for your company. It’s not about bloggers, it’s about pissing off vocal people. And bloggers will talk — even Metis Black mentioned how quickly the network works a CatalystCon West —  partly because we like to talk to begin with, but it’s more than that. I feel as though I owe readers the truth, whether it’s about a a toy or a company. I feel an obligation to tell buyers that a company isn’t reputable. As a blogger, I feel a sense of community with my fellow bloggers, and I want to help protect them from companies that will take advantage of them. So it’s my job to talk about it on this blog, on Twitter, on Tumblr, on Facebook or on your forum. Wherever I can talk about what you did wrong, I will. It’s not about you. It’s not petty vengeance. It’s about raising awareness of wrongdoing.
  • This leads me to my next point: don’t lie. The truth always comes out. Either you wind up telling bigger lies to cover up the succession of untruths, you get caught in the act or you wrong a person whom you trusted with your secret, and the truth comes out. The truth always comes out. Can you deal with that?
  • People don’t react to change well, especially not if it’s sudden. Yes, you may have to change the focus or programs that your company has. If you do it all at once, people will complain because they’ve become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. You can attempt to smooth things over by explaining why you have to change, and even though you don’t have to explain how your company works or what you’re doing, a little transparency goes a long way. When you start lying, even if it’s just by having shady practices, people stop trusting you.

And that trust? Yea, it’s kind of important when you use marketing campaigns about how people can trust you.

 

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Make love to your long distance lover online

Platinum Edition G-Bliss

October 12th, 2013

This is a weird vibe, and not for any reasons that you’d notice on the outside. It looks like a slew of other vibes that CEN has released before. But the features — of lack there of — are kinda weird. You see, there’s no steady vibration, and while my G-spot certainly responds to pulsation, I generally prefer the sensation of steady vibrations.

What you have instead are escalation like an airplane, escalation like a race car, escalation like a car that’s about to break down, pulsation like a bumblebee, fast pulsation, longer pulsations, fast-fast-slow pulsation and something that I’m pretty sure is Morse code.

Some of them just seem too similar for me, and while the pulsation is decent due to the power source — 2 AAs — I don’t want fancy. I can’t bring myself to care that this is waterproof when it doesn’t do what I want outside of the water. I just want what works. This is all controlled by heart-shape buttons. Gag me, and not in the erotic way.

I also found that the shaft doesn’t work for me. It’s just under 1 1/4 inches wide, and I feel like I want something bigger these days. The little wave on the shaft doesn’t extend enough to reach the clit, so it’s just for looks, but I’m not sold on the look of this vibe.

The target demographic is just not me. It also seems like this toy is geared toward beginners with its price tag of less than $25. In fact, it really seems like a step down from some of the company’s recent efforts, which use silicone and rechargeable vibrators. There are words embossed on the base about recycling and such, information that’s on the box and certainly doesn’t need to be on the toy itself. The use of this translucent TPR seems like a way to produce a cheap toy, especially after this recent discussion about TPR on Twitter, but this is ultimately one of those toys that I would advise shoppers to get only if they’re not absolutely sure that they like toys.

 

CEN Sexpert

 

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