Ina Nutshell

April 9th, 2010

Ina is a high quality toy, easy to use and offers a surprising amount of power. It will probably always remain the best G-spot vibrator I will ever try and I may now be a gusher but, as a rabbit? It completely and utterly fails. Anyone wanna trade me a Mona?

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Lelo Lily

April 6th, 2010

Lily

Lily
N/A from

Lelo is now on the Lily 3, which you can buy here.

Now, I have never had one of those hot stone massages, but I’ve seen pictures or maybe seen it in the movies, and the Lily by Lelo absolutely reminds me of those small, ergonomic stones. Except this tiny vibrator is designed to caress your most intimate parts while in the palm of your hand, not to do whatever it is that hot stone massage actually does. The black version, which I bought, does remind me quite a bit of a small stone. Granted, Lily is much lighter than any stone would be.

Lily is my first vibratory purchase from Lelo. I had admired it for quite some time but the complaints of low power turned me off. Still, I could not distract myself from a vibe that might work perfectly during sex.

Lily does not come charged, and because I like to use toys right away, I was a bit miffed to have to break out the charger, which sits beneath the tray. Charging was easy; there was an indicator light on the charger itself, and the buttons on Lily flash during charge. The manual indicates that Lily should not be charged for more than 24 hours, and the charge should last up to 2 hours. I took a quick look through the user manual, but Lily is incredibly easy to operate, so it’s probably not necessary.

Right out of the box, I was surprised by Lily’s size. It is only 3″ long and 2″ wide, so it easily fits in the smallest of hands. The Lily is displayed in the box so the side with the buttons faces up. There are two soft, plastic buttons: one button turns on/up the vibrations while the other turns them down/off. When the Lily is charged, the buttons will be ringed with white light. This light turns red when the vibrator needs charging. I like that the buttons are just shy of finger width which makes them easy to find and press.

Below the buttons, the world “Lelo” is embossed. Further down, on the rounded edge is the charger port. This port seems incredibly large to me so I always make sure to cover it when washing (although, a wipe or damp cloth is probably smarter than using soap and water). It would be nice if there were some cover over this port, however.

The exterior of Lily is plastic, which feels almost silky. The appearance is matte as opposed to Nea, a similar vibe that is slick, shiny plastic. I chose Lily specifically for that reason (added friction) but might have been better off choosing Nea.

Lily’s shape reminds me something of a giant bean. The back, which will sit in the palm of the hand, curves softly, while the front is more angular. The functional end comes to more of a point than the curved end where the port is, and Lily’s lines are sleek and contemporary. In use, I can hold Lily so that my thumb can reach both buttons, but the most comfortable and functional way for me to hold it actually prevents me from reaching the buttons. In addition, if Lily is cupping my mons, this completely blocks button access unless I angle it up and away from my body. This seems especially problematic when you consider how many people use vibrators like these during sex. In missionary position, with Lily between two partners, it would be difficult to push the buttons. Otherwise, Lily is only about 1/2″ thick, which makes it pretty unobtrusive during sex.

Lily’s curved shape is generally body-friendly, but I think it would be friendlier to a less fleshy body than mine. If I simply lay it over my mons, Lily will barely graze my clit. I have to apply pressure for it to fit more comfortably between my labia. I am not super fond of pointed toys, generally preferring a broad surface that I can use to stimulate my pubic bone area as opposed to simply my clit. If you like pointed toys, however, Lily might be right up your alley. Quick, wrist movements can somewhat imitate oral sex; however, this leaves me incredibly sore. So sore, in fact, that my arm muscles will hurt the next day.

Once I got the Lily situated and started playing with the vibrations, I was quickly accosted by a high-pitched whine from the motor. As I understand it, this is pretty common for digital motors but, FUCK! it’s annoying. I feel like I now know what it feels like when dogs hear noises people cannot. Aside from that, Lily only ever operates at a low hum, even on the highest setting. You might even get away with using it in the same room as someone else!

Lily does not have an amazing amount of power. The high-pitched vibrations match the high-pitched whine quite well and are entirely focused on the pointed end (another plus for pinpoint lovers). There seem to be multiple levels of continuous vibration (around 7), but they’re so close together that it’s hard to tell. There are also additional pulsation and escalation modes. For the most part, these modes lack the oomph of stronger toys. Lily is definitely best for sensitive clits or warm-up.

One of the nice functions of Lily is that it can be locked when not in use by simultaneously pressing both buttons for 5 seconds. However, I think it might be far more practical to be able to lock it during use because it’s small enough that my fingers struggle for purchase. Still, when Lily is locked and in its storage bag, it’s pretty easy to hide or even travel with.

Lily is incredibly well crafted, without a doubt. Yet, the size and strength of vibrations are not as rewarding to me as the more affordable Layaspot. I cannot honestly see myself reaching for this one frequently – a shame, considering how much I spent on it.

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Electric Infrared Massager

April 3rd, 2010

This toy is no longer available, but you can buy an infrared massager like this.

I have a secret. It’s not really that much of a secret, actually. Some like it hot but.. I don’t. Not really. I am not a big fan of heat. I keep my AC on all the time. I hate to sweat. I spend too much time inside on hot summer days because I cannot handle the sun. So I have strayed from heating products. It has been years since I’ve used a heating lube that was not a part of some “his and hers” set. I have never tried warm temperature play. It just didn’t seem appealing. So it was really a bit out of character when I decided to try the Electric Infrared Massager (available at the Adult Toy Shoppe) but sometimes the character we have come to be isn’t the character we should always be, right?

The Electric Infrared Massager comes in a giant blister pack with a tacky insert along with five different attachments for the vibrating side. This massager measures just shy of a foot at 11″, and the handle alone has a circumference of nearly 2″. The actual head has a diameter of 3.5″. The attachments all vary in size and shape but none are larger than the heating element.

The handle itself is about 8″ long and while the length does help offset the weight of the head, it’s still a bit unwieldy. The controls on the Electric Infrared Massager are located on the upper half of the handle, toward the shaft and consist of a single button that slides between the Off, Lo and Hi settings. The button does not slide as smoothly as I would like. Perhaps it is because my hands are small, but I find myself grasping the massager toward the other end of the handle (where it is thinner), and I cannot reach the button without actually moving my hand. I would personally like to see the button moved down and the handle thinner or shortened 2 – 3 inches.

For the most part, the massager is encased in a hard plastic which is metallic red in appearance. The lower half of the shaft is textured, which makes it easier to grasp, and there are a few “details” in black plastic (like the area around the button, which is labeled). This massager has a “flexible” neck which is made of accordion-like plastic. However, the flexibility is limited to maybe 10-15 degrees either way, even with an effort to put pressure on it. I would have preferred a truly flexible head like the one on the Miracle Massager.

The head is mostly spherical, with one side providing the heating stimulation while attachments push on to the other. The heating element side is round, and the element seems to be encased in a dark but translucent plastic. When the element is on, it can be seen glowing red through the plastic. The rounded design is broad but not entirely seamless. This end won’t be inserted, but it can still collect some gunk.

The other side of the head is flattened with a stout post in the center. Each attachment has a round neck, which just fits over this post. Attachments do not lock or click into place; they just fit snugly. There are two small holes in the connecting post, so perhaps the attachments should use a bit of suction as well. The attachments are not difficult to apply or remove, however.

One might think that the attachments themselves have something to do with the heating characteristics of this vibrator but it’s not the case. The attachment side has no heating effect. On the other hand, the rounded, heating side does transmit some of the vibrations because they are focused in the head.

My biggest problem with this vibrator is that the functions are dependent. If you turn it on low vibrations, it will turn on high heat and vice versa. I see no reason why the heating element should be on when you use attachments (because it won’t be touching you anyway). Furthermore, it always felt like the heat was on high when the vibrations were also on high, but this could be due to the massager heating up because of the vibrations. I would have preferred to turn the vibrations on low and the heat on high, rather than what it actually does.

Like many electric vibrators, this one is pretty strong. Maybe not the strongest ever, but it beats out any battery-operated toy I own. The lower setting is definitely deeper and more rumbly; the high setting sometimes is too high pitched for me and causes me to tickle uncomfortable. Surprisingly enough, the Electric Infrared Massager is not super loud. I don’t think it could be heard through a closed door (I couldn’t but my AC is a little loud).

I was not blown away by any of the attachments. I first tried the rounded foam attachment, which was okay but didn’t transmit the vibrations amazingly. Also, I have no idea how sanitary the hard foam really is. In fact, all of the softer attachments are of some mystery material. Perhaps a soft rubber or TPR, but I have no idea what the packaging doesn’t say. I assume the hard attachments are plastic, but I could be wrong.

The single cone attachment will probably work well for folks who like pinpoint stimulation; although, I don’t. I thought the double cone attachment might surround my clit, but, in reality, the points were too far away to hug it nicely. The “tickler” and “wide bumped” heads are both as wide as the entire hide, which makes them really bulky for clit stimulation. I guess my crotch is just not that wide. LOL However, I think that both of those attachments would work nicely for a body massage. Ultimately, I think this design is much better suited for actual massage than sexual stimulation.

I did enjoy the infrared heat, though. It doesn’t get too hot at all. Rather, it sort of feels the way the sun feels on your skin on a comfortable day, just warming you slightly. In fact, I prefer the warmth of the high setting. The reminiscence of a nice day actually makes me feel serene and the heat makes me super aware of the area it is on; I would assume it is drawing blood to the area. However, the head is still quite bulky for use in intimate areas.

The cord is fairly long, about 6′. I can easily use it on my bed because there is an outlet a few feet away, but it’s not something that could be easily used outside, in a vehicle, et cetera, at least, not without an extension cord. Of course, because this is a corded toy, it is not waterproof and should stay far away from the bathroom or pool. Cleaning would best be done with a damp cloth or toy wipe, not running water.

I didn’t know how much I could like heat until I tried the Electric Infrared Massager. However, I feel it would be a better investment if it were fine-tuned so that the settings can be used independently and the controls are easier to reach.

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Alumination

April 2nd, 2010

This is an archive review of a discontinued toy.

Metal is all the rage in sex toys these days, so I wasn’t entirely surprised to see that Doc Johnson has its own vibrating aluminum line, appropriately named Illumination. These petite vibrators are extremely straightforward: a cylindrical shaft topped off with a rounded end.

This vibrator is long and slim – 6″ x .72″ diameter; it seems to essentially be an elongated mini bullet. Although I have not used them, Jimmyjane’s Little Chroma/Steel/Gold vibrators seem quite similar, so this might be a more cost-effective option if you’re wondering whether or not a toy of this style is good for you. The overall feel is weighty and compact,

Because it is so thin, there is potential to use it as a replacement for bullets in certain toys (cock rings), but it could be awkward because of the length. It is good for precise and direct stimulation and would work well externally. It could be angled to hit certain spots internally, but the lack of texture and girth limits its functionality. I did not especially enjoy the sensation inside; it definitely felt a little lacking. Because I like broader external stimulation, I also did not love my Alumination externally, either.

The size and design make it perfect for newbies, though! It’s not intimidating, and the smooth metal is easy to insert with only a touch of lube (if that). I would strongly warn against anal use because there is no flanged base on this one, and it would slip out of a person’s fingers with ease when coated with lube.

However, it’s ridiculously easy to use. There is a single push button on the end of the battery cap. You know the type. Press once to turn it on, press again to cycle through the settings, and then once more to turn it off. This does mean there is no “quick off” function, of course. There are three strengths of continuous vibration, so this vibrator might not be exciting enough for some people. The vibration is higher pitched, and all levels feel similar to me personally, but if you like pinpoint vibrations, these are focused in the last inch or so of the shaft.

In terms of noise, Alumination is not the loudest vibrator I’ve tried nor the quietest. You could safely use it in one room of the house with others home (door closed) but not in the same room.

Because it is metal, you can experiment with temperature play. Let the Alumination rest in a bowl of cool water or ice cubes to chill it. Replace the cold water with warm water, and you will have a different experience altogether. Some might be disappointed that it is not pure metal because the battery cap is plastic, but I didn’t especially notice. The cap screwed on and off easily enough for me to insert 2 AAA batteries and seems fairly secure (to keep them in place, at least). Doc Johnson even claims the Alumination vibrators are waterproof and there is an O-ring where the cap screws on but it does not meet seamlessly with the shaft. There is an additional seam at the end of the shaft where a separate piece of metal caps off the curved end. This piece is glued into place and seems secure but can easily collect gunk.

Aside from that, the sleek surface makes this toy incredibly easy to clean with a wipe and physical dirt will wash right off with water. It won’t collect lint which is one of the things I detest about silicone, so it can be dried with any old towel. It isn’t made of any material that will react, so it can be tossed in a box with other non-reactive materials. Plus, the small size makes it incredibly easy to store (between the mattresses or deep in your pillowcase?) without being found and the same could be said for travel.

I didn’t keep the box because it is quite a bit bigger than the vibe itself but I enjoyed the floral motifs in metallic paint. The box has a friendly, feminine feel to it. While I have not loved every Doc Johnson toy I’ve tried, the box art is usually visually appealing.

The Alumination vibrator seems to be a solid piece that offers some versatility. It’s extremely affordable as well, so it might be a good toy for a newbie. It didn’t knock my socks off but it was a nice experience, regardless.

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Get up to 30% off at MysteryVibe

Apply Within

March 31st, 2010

I have jokingly been creating a check list in my mind for future partners. I guess it’s just a way for me to let off steam regarding my husband’s behaviour, flaws and bad habits. It’s a little resentful but maybe a little smart, too.

Characteristics You Best Not Have

  • Mommy Issues
  • Daddy Issues
  • Aggressive Driving
  • Emotional Score Keeping
  • Inability to recognize or express emotions
  • Knee Jerk Reactions to Every Little Thing
  • Inability to distinguish sex from love
  • Inability to combine sex and love when appropriate

Characteristics You Must Have

  • Sense of Humour
  • Like for Dr Horrible
  • Cat Love
  • Ability to Remain Faithful
  • Understanding of Commitment
  • Fondness for hand holding, cuddling and other physical touch
  • Healthy Interest in Sex
  • Have already been in love
  • Willingness to read books, go to therapy and do other things should the need arise
  • Maturity
  • Tendency toward Geekiness
  • Love for dorky comedies

Hey, guess what? I’m tired and randomly capitalizing things. 😉

PS, I know I could more healthily and happily word all these things as positive “must haves.”

PPS, I’m not really a crazy bitch with a checklist.

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Isis

March 30th, 2010

Isis

Isis

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Isis is one of the few non-glass products by Luxotiq but, like all their products, is made with the same gentle curves which make it both incredibly attractive and functional. This silicone dildo is soft but vibrant pink and sports not one but two functional ends to meet all needs. Although I am not a connoisseur of dildos by any means, I do find Isis to work splendidly; in fact, I think this piece of certainly worthy of a goddess’ name.

Isis is made of silicone which is firmer than it is soft but still has some flexibility. It’s not as firm as Tantus toys but remains more firm than most Fun Factory silicone. The particular composition of silicone feels noticeably dense to me. The shape could be described as a loose and long “S” but it is not symmetrical. One side has a gentle curve while the shaft gradually increases in size and the other side is generally smaller with a flatter head angling off from the shaft. The entire piece has a velvety texture and while there is a seam which runs around the toy and can be felt by a finger, it is not felt internally.

I first experimented with the thicker end, inserting it with a little water-based lube. The shaft grows to about 1 1/2″ in girth so it’s neither tiny nor gigantic. It falls right into my comfortable range and a lot of people consider that about “medium” sized. However, the size increases toward the end so you can’t work your way up to it; it’s the other way around. I found the curve and size to be absolutely perfect for stroking my G-spot which, as you might recall, it fairly shallow. I sometimes have difficulty with angled G-spot toys and much prefer the curve of the Isis. It’s also interesting because I usually have more success with G-spot vibes, not dildos so I was a bit surprised how easy it was to “milk” my G-spot. I achieved ejaculation within a minute or two and the girth helped stimulate exactly the right spot.

Used in this way, the angular end is great for a handle and there is plenty of length to grasp (unlike the Dai-Do #5 which I just tried). I didn’t have to insert it very far at all but Isis’ design seems ideal no matter how deep your G-spot it. I didn’t opt for any fancy maneuvering simply because the girth was comfortably snug for me but I am sure you could.

If the curved end is too thick or doesn’t offer the stimulation you prefer, Isis can be inserted the “opposite” way, too. The angled head is smaller (1″ diameter) and offers a bit more precise movement. It doesn’t personally fit me the best, but that is part of the appeal of having a double-sided dildo.

Those are not the only perks, of course. This dildo can easily be cleaned with soap and water, as the included “business” card instructs. There is even a soft cloth for drying to because silicone has the tendency to pick up lint. It’s only a few inches long and wide, though so it’s not as practical as it could be. I just use a regular towel or you could let Isis air dry, too. These are nice touches, though.

I also appreciate that the dildo came in a sealed plastic bag which I actually had to cut (okay, I probably ripped it) open. Very few toys come this way, and I admit, even when they are settled in a pretty-looking box (and Isis does come in a nice white and pink box that ties shut with ribbon; it sits on pink satin over a foam-ish core), I don’t know how clean the box/fabric is for the dildo to be returned to it for storage (or vice versa). It just gives it a cleanly feeling but it might just be me. If you are a neat freak, Isis could be boiled or submerged in a deep solution to sanitize but most folks probably do not need to do this.

Although it’s versatile, I don’t think Isis would really work perfectly between two bodies at once and I would not advise anal use (unless you’re super advanced) because the lack of a flared base. It is certainly long enough that a partner could use it on you, of course. (=

My review seems short but, the truth is, dildos don’t do much. Their either work or they don’t and, for the most part, I am not a dildo girl. Still, I can say that Isis is a quality dildo that does work for me and will probably work for many.

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Make love to your long distance lover online

Liberator Fascinator Throw

March 28th, 2010

I recently got a gift from someone awesome and by “someone awesome,” I mean myself. That gift was a Liberator Shag Throe because I was sick of wet spots on the bed (from sex) and washing all my towels (from squirting). I was apprehensive about my purchase the shag throe was only available in purple, while the microfiber is available in more colour choices. People seemed to like both just fine, but I had such a difficult time deciding whether colour or texture mattered more, especially because I am not a big fan of microfiber (but I wasn’t sure if the microfiber throe felt run of the mill).

Note that Liberator currently only offers Throws in one material: “microvelvet.” I believe this is less plush than the blanket I own. Nevertheless, my general thoughts apply to the overall product.

The Shag Throe comes packaged in a plastic box and is neatly folded. I noticed immediately that the shag is softer and plushier than microfiber, so I think I made the right choice. I got what some retailers call “regular” size, and the blanket is really quite large at 72″ x 54″. It just covers the top of a queen-sized bed, which is why Liberator bills it as queen sized. I personally never use it extended to its full size. It is always folded in half or thirds because I simply do not need that much area. I could probably get away with the smaller Travel Throw, which measures 53″ xs 36.”. But if you want a blanket that covers your entire bed, they also make a king-sized option.

The size alone is not the only factor that makes the Throe seem quite large, perhaps even bulky. It is obvious that there are several layers to this blanket; of course, that only makes sense because the Throe has to contain something special to keep moisture from our furniture and linens. According to Liberator, that is an “inner moisture barrier.” In layman’s terms, it seems like a sheet of plastic and sounds like it, too. When moving, folding, or otherwise breathing on the Throe, there is a noticeable sound of fabric-covered plastic. It’s not necessarily detrimental to the experience, especially if you’re louder than the Throe (nor will it give you away to the roommates or neighbours) but it is a little.. unsexy.

So, those outer layers? Shag and satin. The shag is a short fur which is fairly soft to the touch but not like cashmere or anything. It’s definitely more appealing than “shag carpet” which is what had always come to my mind before. I mean, who wants to have sex on that? Besides cheesy 70s porn stars, that is! For whatever reason, the shag side feels better to my hands than my body, which feels a little suffocated by it, but it doesn’t feel bad at all.

And the satin? Well, it’s satiny, but the outer layer is much thinner than that of the shag so it’s easier to feel the moisture barrier inside. Because of this, I don’t really like the satin side as much. If it were just satin or satin over something softer, it would feel better, but it just feels too plastic-y for my tastes. I never use it silk-side-up. However, it’s smoother and cooler feeling, which some folks might prefer in hot temperatures. There are two other downsides to the satin side: it can slip around on surfaces and it runs (like pantyhose). I found out the latter after leaving the satin side up on my bed for a short time, and, when I returned, it was obvious my cat(s) had walked over it. 

The exterior is finished with a secure border/trim around the edges, which holds everything tightly in place. 

In use, the Throe performs as expected. I have read accounts where the Throe was not enough to contain fluids of some people, but I am no super soaker, so I am satisfied. In fact, a product like this can really help someone who is worried about the mess of ejaculating or the difference between urine and FE. I wouldn’t even care if it were only urine, except that I don’t want that on my sheets or bed, so the Throe is a lifesaver. The shag side not only soaks up my fluids but even makes them a bit difficult to see. However, if you’re looking to use the Throe as a towel for cleaning up after the fact, it doesn’t perform so well in that manner, partly because it’s stiff and partly because it doesn’t absorb moisture as much as it holds it. As a result, larger amounts of fluid will pool on the Throe instead of being soaked up by it (but they will not soak through to whatever is beneath it).

Nevertheless, I have found my Shag Throe helps me be a procrastinator (whether or not that’s helpful, you can decide). After playtime is over, I can roll up my toys in the Throe and toss it in the corner overnight or until I am ready to deal with clean up. I find it so handy in that way because I didn’t think of this as a versatile product, really.

The Fascinator Throw is machine washable on delicate/cold. You might even be able to get away with a regular cycle, but I didn’t try. It kept its shape well, and I tossed it in the dryer on low heat. Some folks have let it air dry on the line or shower rod, which is also an option. I found that I had to run it through the dryer multiple times before it was actually dry, which is a bit perplexing. I have no idea how long it would take to air dry, but now that I am back home with paid laundry machines, I guess I will find out. The Throe is in great condition after being washed and dried, and the colour is still vibrant.

But I have to say, I don’t feel the need to wash it every time I use it, thankfully. It doesn’t pick up smells nor does it seem necessarily dirty after a use or two. Like I mentioned, it’s really big so I can just fold over a previously used spot and there’s still plenty of clean surface left.

However, my original blanket seemed to have a defect as the trim started to come undone. I contacted Liberator, which replaced it. I now have two of them, with the original demoted to a cat blanket. The trim hasn’t broken down anymore, even with washing. Because I’ve had it in the window, it has become noticeably sun-faded. My replacement has held up well with no stitching issues, though!

I definitely look forward to spending more time with my Shag Throe!

While I recommend the Fascinator Throw to anyone who wants to make cleanup easier and experience that security during playtime, I understand that not everyone can justify the cost. This is especially true because the price has nearly doubled since I got my first Throw (and I believe it is more valuable than the current microfiber option). To that end, I’ve created a list of alternatives to the Liberator Throw that can save you money.

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