…aka the post in which I use a lot of italics.
It’s not that I am ungrateful. It’s just that it’s taken me almost two months to see the 2013 top sex bloggers list. I didn’t expect to make it on this year and, to be honest, I’ve dropped quite a bit from my top place (18 last year, maybe?) but I’m glad any of you nominated me at all.
Thank you.
2013 has been such a very strange year for me. I have definitely posted less frequently. I spend more time on Tumblr, browsing for stuff related to sex that isn’t porn (this is not an easy task). I tried to highlight the stuff I was finding on Tumblr, but fell out of interest. Now, you’ll find my Tumblr contains a lot of stuff about current sex toy sales and lots of reblogs of feminist posts and sex toy collection photos.
While reviews and advice have become less frequent, I’ve added more personal posts. I am hesitant to do this because it just feels like everyone else is as a different point in there life. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel like someone who’s had a sex blog for 5 years shouldn’t be casually dating people and having sex only once every few months.
In reality, 2013 has been a huge year for me personally. I had sex since the first time since my divorce, and I realized that I could be one of those casual sex havin’ folks. However, I didn’t want to continue that relationship in any way, so I ended it and we no longer speak. But I was struck with just how easy it was to fuck someone else. Man, that shit seems terrifying in my head. Who knew?
In the attempt to have more sex, I got back into contact with a friend with whom I hadn’t been speaking because I figured, more or less, that he’d be an easy lay. We wound up having really good sex and developing feelings. If I’m being honest, I fell in love with him. I am in love with him. But he hasn’t commitment issues and we had bad timing or something, and now we casually have sex sometimes while I try not to hope that it could be something. The sex is still amazing.
And it’s led me to think that I could be quite more submissive than I thought I was. It’s also led me to realize that I maybe want sex more than I want a relationship, and I could be okay with this arrangement for a while. Because fucking him makes me feel more like me than I have in quite some time.
Despite this, I still don’t really have a category for personal stuff. I should really make one. I’ve struggled with the identity of this blog, and I haven’t received nearly as much feedback as I’d like for this to be as satisfying as it once was. However, that could be the state of the Internet and the fact that I’m not marketing myself as a 2-bit educator or a snarky bitch. I’m just me.
But I did receive some feedback from someone that I really appreciate. She liked reading the personal posts that have become more common. She thought that was where my strength lies. So while I am going to continue write reviews, I want to expand personal posts without thinking about what it means to you. Because if it means something to me, the readers will see.
And I want to simply focus on connecting more with you guys. That’s something I talked about in my anniversary post. I just finished a round of blog commenting today. So, hello!, if that’s how you got here. I’ve tried to sign on Twitter more, to reply to emails, to be friendlier, to comment and to discover new blogs. I don’t know if it’s working or even if I know how to tell, but I feel better.
I also had my first bacterial infection, I tried my first stone dildo. I’ve had a few toys that I absolutely love. A lot were forgettable. I went to my last sex toy party. Ever.
So back to blogging. I made this list:
And it’s been interesting to see the list evolve over the years. There are few sex toy reviewers on it. Perhaps that’s because our numbers dwindle every year, or maybe it’s because people are sick of reviews. The first sex toy reviewer, The Sin Doll, is in the 30s. Interesting.
There’s a lot more sex educators on the list. The same goes for things like comics and erotica writers. It’s all very interesting. I love to see how legitimate sex education and work has become, and I think this list is evidence of that.
I’m glad to be on it no matter how I may contribute.
Thank you for nominating me. Thanks to Rori for including me.
Here’s to another year!
Oh wow. I knew I had a lot of catching up to do on your blog, but man, I have missed everything!
I respect that you’ve taken your blog in a more personal direction and I think that it’s very brave of you to share.
I’m very happy I’ve found your blog again. I like your reviews and your voice, so I’m happy learn more about the person behind it. *smiles*
Now to click on those thinks!
Maybe I need to pimp my posts more. I don’t know. Maybe I just didn’t talk about how BIG those things were when they happened.
“I’m not marketing myself as a 2-bit educator or a snarky bitch. I’m just me.”
I like this. I feel the same way.
I’m glad people understand because sometimes I think “real” is better than having an angle.
“However, that could be the state of the Internet and the fact that I’m not marketing myself as a 2-bit educator or a snarky bitch. I’m just me.”
I literally LOL’d when I read this line. It seems like everyone with a non-erotic sex blog is calling themselves a “sex educator” these days. What does that phrase even mean anymore?
I wish I had some advice to offer, but I’m going through my own blog identity crisis at the moment. I want to write about sex, but I don’t want to be a “brand” or an internet personality. I’m still trying to find some balance between my personal needs and blogging expectations.
Good luck with your blogging journey, wherever it may take you.
I’m glad so many people connected with that phrases because I really felt as though it would possibly offend some people.
I want to educate, yes, but so many people do it better and I don’t know that adding more to the Internet is more helpful because the people who tend to read my blog already know most of this. Much of this so-called education that I find doesn’t do it any better, and while it sounds mean, it’s a waste of their time.