What Sex Toys Are Safe to Buy From Amazon?

October 9th, 2024

I’ve already discussed why you shouldn’t buy sex toys from Amazon. I stand by this general advice. Nothing internal. Or ingested.

That doesn’t mean you can’t outfit your nightstand or overnight bag with some things from Amazon (or even buy your nightstand or bag from the site!).

So what, if anything, do I think it’s okay to buy from Amazon?!

Books

Books are rather safe to buy on Amazon, especially if you prefer a digital version. (although you can help small brick-and-mortar stores by using Bookshop, instead). You can turn yourself on, learn how to find your G-spot, or discover your dominant persona with the help of these books. Amazon can also occasionally be helpful for finding out-of-print books because vendors can sell used copies.

Games

From sex dice to board games, Amazon has you covered. I think these games can be a good way to spice up or explore your sex life if you haven’t explored much.

Sex Toy Storage

Amazon sells all sorts of bags, boxes, and containers designed to hold your toys when not in use. For example, you can buy a Sugar Sak (or Blush’s version), which uses an antibacterial coating to keep you germ-free. Plus, toy storage is often lockable to keep your dildos and sexcessories away from prying eyes.

There are plenty of storage solutions that aren’t intended to be used with sex toys that you can coopt for that purpose, too. Epiphora makes a compelling argument about how drawer carts are one of the best ways to store your toys. You can also use shoe organizers, toolboxes, pouches, and makeup bags to store your favorite vibrator. If your bed is high enough, under-the-bed storage is a great option, too.

BDSM Gear

You can probably get by with the BDSM gear Amazon sells if you’re not doing suspension or immobilization. Most of the products that come up with a general search are brandless products from random random-letter-named vendors. This means they may not be the highest quality or match the product images. Pipedream and Calexotics both make bondage goodies that work well enough, and you can find plenty of them on Amazon’s marketplace, even if some of them are sold by “Ask Grandpa Gourmet Coffee brands.”

Amazon has restraints, blindfolds (even if they call them “sleep masks”), harnesses, bondage tape, impact play toys, cock cages, and nipple clamps, to name just a few. But if you want high-quality gear, you’re better off looking at sites like Stockroom or even Etsy.

Lingerie

Amazon has a whole section devoted to lingerie, and that includes items by reputable brands such as Dreamgirl and Seven Til Midnight. There are plenty of no-name brands, but the risks of even low-quality lingerie are minimal. At worst, lingerie may not look anything like the pictures, might be made from cheap materials, may be poorly made, or could look bad on you.

Sex Blankets

My Liberator Throw has come in handy for years. However, Amazon sells tons of waterproof blankets that are more affordable alternatives to the Liberator Throw.

Miscellaneous

I feel pretty comfortable buying some external items from Amazon.

  • Cock rings may be safe if you stick to stretchy ones unless you’re absolutely positive about your size
  • Massage stones like this one are a pretty safe bet
  • Massage candles that burn at low temperatures, like this soy candle I recommend that is available on Amazon
  • Touchless dispensers work well for lube
  • UV sanitizers come in a variety of sizes and styles, so they can fit a variety of toys to kill all the germies you can’t see and possibly double as storage

The Amazon Basics brand also makes decent rechargeable batteries. I’ve personally used them for years.

Amazon could also be a great place to get a first aid kid, paramedic sheers (including some for lefties like me), antibiotic spray, or ointment for your kinky and sexy times.

Basically, if it won’t go in you, it may be safe to buy on Amazon.

But..

A Word of Warning

Because the quality of things on Amazon may not be the best, you should carefully check toys for sharp, rough, or exposed edges. Leather, wood, plastic, and metal come to find with these imperfections, but I’ve even heard of silicone vibrators having seams so sharp they were unusable. This is especially important with impact play toys because imperfections can cause serious injury when hitting someone with an object.

Obviously, any exposed wires are a no-go. Even if they don’t shock you or burn down your house, they could become corroded.

If anything appears to be used, especially if you notice anything that could be a bodily fluid, toss it and request a refund.

Keep in mind that Amazon now sometimes ships things without any product packaging or even a shipping box if you don’t want anyone to see (or touch!) what you’re buying.

And if your order comes broken, doesn’t look like the description, performs worse than the reviews suggest, or quickly breaks, well, that’s Amazon for you!

Comment


Don’t Buy Sex Toys From Amazon

July 30th, 2024

Why you shouldn't buy sex toys on Amazon

I know I might sound paranoid, but I can’t recommend most toys and goodies available on Amazon in good faith, no matter how easy it is to order.

There are several good reasons to avoid buying sex toys from Amazon:

  • It might be counterfeit (images + info may be stolen from real products)
  • They might send you a used toy
  • Important material and safety information might not be available or may be purposely misleading (who knows if it’s really body-safe silicone?)
  • Products might not be safe for beginners
This listing shows a vibrator that is absolutely not safe for anal play

All of these things become even more important because I’m positive that many people head to Amazon without reading blogs about sex toys like SayOh or mine, which can help them find the best product for them and use it safely. This means shoppers lack the necessary information to make a smart purchase, let alone use a toy safely. I cannot tell you how many product listings and reviews I’ve seen that don’t offer the proper warnings! For example, anyone selling or discussing anal toys should make it clear how important a flared base or handle that is significantly larger than the neck of the toy is.

But product listings sometimes outright lie. They may say silicone, which is a fantastic material for sex toys and lube, but what you get might be porous. Even if you know what you’re looking for, ensuring you get it on Amazon is easier said than done.

All of this is complicated by the fact that Amazon is a seller and a marketplace. Sellers (also known as vendors) can list products on Amazon and either ship them directly or have Amazon handle the shipping. Sometimes, a brand sells its own products on Amazon. Other times, vendors are simply stores that sell products by other brands.

But it’s even more complicated than that. Many brands use the same manufacturers to make products and simply slap their names on the packaging even though the products are identical. These products may be decent, and they may be crap. If it’s an unknown brand, I worry about the latter. You could be happy with the product, you might feel like your money was wasted, you may need to fix an item before you use it, or you may regret your purchase and the harm it caused deeply with no recourse.

It’s also harder to tell who is selling something and where it’s coming from than it once was. When performing a search, you can select sellers (although I doubt most people do). Even if you do use that, many dropship vendors have seemingly random names like those to the right. When they violate Amazon’s terms, they just sign up with new random names with no real consequences.

The seller and shipper may impact the protections you have as a shopper. Consider the following examples of a toy sold and shipped by a vendor, a toy sold by a third-party vendor and shipped by Amazon, and a product sold and shipped by Amazon. You might feel better with third parties because they offer returns if something doesn’t work, but that also means they might send you previously used toys!

A product is more likely to come from an Amazon vendor if it has one of those string-of-text names that try to cram in as many keywords as possible (see below). Typoes are optional.

In the example above, “Mononii” is the brand, and clicking the link will take you to the “Monomii store” and show products from multiple vendors. Because vendors are terrible about tagging their products correctly (perhaps on purpose?), these brand store pages can be frustrating and may show only a fraction of products or show a bunch of products that aren’t made by the brand. Doing so for Fetish Fantasy only brings up one product by the brand even though vendors sell various Fetish Fantasy products. What gives?

That’s not the only issue with shopping on Amazon, either.

Why Amazon Reviews Suck Now

I also have a particular beef with Amazon reviews, which have become almost useless across the board. The reviews might be misleading because of highjacking or they were purchased. Amazon no longer posts every review, so it may withhold negative reviews to increase sales. It’s why so many products have 4+ star ratings. Average ratings used to cover the whole range, making them more useful.

I’ve used hundreds of toys and very few are 5-star toys, yet Amazon ratings suggest all these brandless products are perfect?! I don’t think so!

Seriously, how is this helpful in the least?

A good piece of advice is to ignore 5-star reviews and compare 4-star reviews to 1-star reviews. This gives you a better idea of how a product really performs. Of course, vague 4-star reviews and 1-star reviews complaining about shipping aren’t really helpful. I often find that the average consumer isn’t a great reviewer. But you can often find someone who writes a good enough review with preferences similar to yours to be helpful.

Where does that leave us?

Sex Toys You Shouldn’t Buy on Amazon

Most of these concerns apply to any product, but it’s especially concerning with something you might put in your body!

This includes essentially anything you insert or has the potential to break skin:

  • Dildos
  • Vibrators
  • Anal toys
  • Kegel exercisers
  • Lube
  • Ball gags
  • Needles
  • Blades
  • Urethral sounds

I would also add supplements to this list.

No one wants a used dildo showing up at their doorstep. Given how Amazon often skips putting things in boxes, discretion may also be a concern.

You don’t want your vibrator to stop working. Nor would you be happy with an infection, allergic reaction, or injury from trying to enjoy yourself in the bedroom. A trip to the emergency room would be even worse. All of this might be possible if you buy a product that’s intentionally mislabeled or simply lacks the right information.

And if you’ve ever read a review about something starting a fire or electrocuting the user, you understand why you need to be a savvy shopper,

When It’s Okay to Buy Sex Toys on Amazon

Does this mean you should never buy sex toys from Amazon? Not necessarily. Some products pose fewer risks than others. If there are helpful reviews of the product and vendor and if you can’t find a similar product elsewhere, you may have to bite the bullet, even if it doesn’t vibrate.

Look for established brand names (random names show up for brands that only exist on Amazon, too). Stick to products that have multiple actual photos, including those with packaging. Otherwise, something might show up at your door in a plastic bag with no additional information.

Do research about product safety outside of Amazon. You might even find that Amazon isn’t the cheapest option! I frequently update my sales page, so you can save money on sex toys.

That’s the difference between sex toy stores like Shevibe, Lovehoney, or Babeland, Stockroom, that vet their products and Amazon, where it can be difficult to know who made something. Sex toy retailers often carefully tag products for brand, features, and material, you can filter your searches based on that information.

On top of that, Amazon doesn’t need your money or care about you. Our favorite stores and makers appreciate our patronage and show care in the products they carry, how they market them, and their customer service. When has the same ever been true for Amazon?!

1 Comment


Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex