Science of Sex: Arousal, Disgust, and Decision Making

November 24th, 2018

Welcome to November’s issue of Science of Sex, wherein I tackle issues about human sexuality. Why do we do that? How do we know? This month, I discuss another issue related to arousal (although I’ve barely scratched the surface, it seems) and what happens when the arousal cycle ends.

I hope you enjoy this article, and if you’re interested in more, check out the Science of Sex archives.

science of sex - arousal disgust decision making

Initially, I was just going to write about the interplay between arousal and disgust, but sexual arousal affects so many of our systems — especially cognitive ability.

If you’ve given a thought to how being aroused affects your thinking process, you’ve probably realized how easy it is to make poor decisions when aroused. Anecdotally, I have risked my sexual health by not using condoms, but foregoing protection and birth control is only one example of this risk. Arousal might lead you to have sex with someone who is a bad choice (an ex, a friend, someone with whom romantic feelings are unbalanced, etc). Disgust plays a role in why most people don’t have sex with family members; although, Science of Sex: Genetic Sexual Attractionsome people do.

Studies have even found that a woman’s attractiveness can influence whether a man chooses to use a condom during sexual activity with her.

Less obvious and perhaps more indirectly related to cognitive ability is how arousal seems to lower disgust, at least, in some individuals. Researchers theorize that disgust evolved as a way to keep us away from potentially dangerous things. So humans developed aversions to things that are dirty and “yucky,” such as fecal matter, bodily fluids (urine, blood, semen etc), and even actual dirty in our environment. It makes sense that arousal would inhibit disgust because sex involves precisely some of those things.

This interplay explains why you might be more open to the idea of a certain sexual activity, say, anal sex, once you’re already aroused than you would be “cold.”

You might even notice disgust returned once the arousal cycle has completed, either through orgasm or simply subsiding over time. This can manifest as disgust or guilt toward yourself or partners after sex. If you’ve ever found yourself completely disinterested in any sexual activity, then you know what I mean. As you’re frantically closing every browser tab once you’ve finished masturbating because you cannot stand to see it, you’re experiencing the return of disgust.

At least one study finds that this isn’t the case with women. This could perhaps be due to arousal non-concordance: a woman’s mental and physical arousal is typically less in sync than a man’s. The canceling out of disgust when aroused that men experienced could simply be an effect of their higher levels of arousal concordance.

Arousal continues to affect our system in other ways, too. Sexual arousal is often accompanied with the promise of sexual gratification through either solo or partnered activity. Dopamine receptors activate when aroused, which is one reason sexual tension can feel so good. The promise of sexual reward can also encourage poor decision making. The drain of dopamine and hormones after your arousal cycle completes can also contribute to negative post-masturbation or post-sex feelings.

This is also related to post-sex blues (described as postcoital dysphoria in research), something that women experience more frequently than men. As hormones decrease in your body after a sexual experience, you might feel down even if the sexual encounter was enjoyable.

I suspect that arousal inhibits or overrides a number of feelings and responses that we either don’t yet know about or understand, and I look forward to telling my readers about them in a later post.

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Science of Sex: Mindfulness as a Treatment for Sexual Dysfunction

July 14th, 2018

This month’s Science of Sex post is directly inspired by the book that I reviewed by Dr. Lori Brotto and, in fact, will draw from several of her studies. Mindfulness at first times to be new agey– more hype that hypothesis. But multiple studies have shown that mindfulness can have a positive impact on many facets of life, sex among them. So this month’s Science of Sex post focuses on that.

Check out previous Science of Sex posts here.

Mindfulness as a Treatment for Sexual Dysfunction

Dr. Brotto does a good job of explaining what mindfulness is in her book: it’s an awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations, that allows you to create a distance with them, which can reduce the impact of pain, for example. But mindfulness also helps you remain more in the moment to focus on sensation. We’ll start with Brotto’s work since she’s done so much.

In one study, Brotto and her team found that while mindfulness didn’t necessarily increase arousal, it does increase women’s’ awareness of their physical/genital arousal, in turn increasing arousal concordance (symmetry between observed physical and genital arousal).

Another study by Brotto et al found that a group of 31 endometrial cancer survivors experienced improvements in multiple aspects of sexual functioning — desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm,  and satisfaction — after participating in three sessions of mindfulness-based cognitive behavior therapy. And the improvements remained six months later.

Yet another study by Brotto found four sessions of a “mindfulness-based therapy significantly improved sexual desire, arousal, lubrication, satisfaction, and overall sexual functioning”. Continued sessions resulted in further improvements in genital and mental excitement. Any immediate improvements continued to a 6-month followup.

Finally, a 2008 study found similar improvements in women’s’ sexual function when exposed to mindfulness training. Furthermore, women who had previously experienced sexual abuse benefited the most from mindfulness compared to all participants.

Clearly, Dr. Brotto has done a lot of research on mindfulness and sexual function and talks about a 60% increase in sexual function after mindfulness in one of her studies. I think we can expect that to continue. But she’s not the only one. Time and again, studies suggest that mindfulness could be key to an improved sex life.

One such study compared how long it took men and women to register their physical arousal, finding that men did it significantly quicker than women. Mindfulness meditation enabled women to require less time to notice bodily responses, putting them on par with men. Additionally, women who practiced mindfulness were less judgmental toward themselves. Others found that mindfulness may be helpful to people who experienced sexual abuse as children.

Yet another study posited that people with more disproportional mindfulness would be less likely to engage in sexually compulsive behaviors or use drugs and found this to be true. Finally, a survey of women who completed mindfulness-based therapy online only found improvements in sexual function.

Studies on mindfulness have focuses on women, perhaps because they’re more likely to experience certain sorts of sexual dysfunction (low desire, difficulty with arousal, impaired pleasure, etc), but it’s reasonable that men could improve their sex lives by learning and practicing mindfulness, too. Some sources even state that mindfulness could help people with ED and at least one study focuses on sensate touch, a type of mindfulness program originally developed by Masters and Johnson, as a possible aid here. I’d like to see mindfulness applied to men. Otherwise, the science is promising.

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Science of Sex: Female Sexual Dysfunction

May 19th, 2018

Welcome to my latest installment of Science of Sex. I’ve officially be doing these for more than a year and have more planned! If you want to check out my archives, click here. Otherwise, enjoy this month’s post!science of sex - female sexual dysfunction

Today we’re venturing into the realm of female sexual dysfunction, just what it is, and why that title might not actually be helpful.

At its heart, female sexual dysfunction is an issue with sexual functioning in a woman. This can include a number of conditions and concerns, but four of the main ones are:

  • Desire : Many women and sometimes their partners describe their lack of spontaneous desire as a dysfunction. However, studies show that women are more likely to have responsive desire than men. This is not a dysfunction as much as it is a difference in sexual function. Furthermore, some have suggested that the traditional stages of arousal may not apply as well to women whose arousal process is more cyclical. It’s also important to understand that a woman’s sexual brakes are often quite touchy (learn more about this). Finally, low desire often corresponds to relationship issues, so it’s not so much a sign of sexual dysfunction as it is one of relationship dysfunction.
  • Arousal: Female sexual dysfunction can also present as a lack of physical arousal. This highlights further incorrect assumptions or beliefs about female sexuality. First, it doesn’t take into consideration that women are much less likely to experience concordance – an alignment between mental desire and physical arousal – than men and, secondly, it ignores the variance in a woman’s natural lubrication.
  • Orgasm: Some women may describe their inability to orgasm through sexual intercourse as dysfunction, but multiple surveys have found that the majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and very few achieving orgasm solely through penetration. At least one study reports a group of women who prefer penetration/sex with their clit stim as a way to get off.
  • Pain: Too many women experience pain during intercourse (in fact, at least one study has found that the bar for good sex for women is so low that they simply describe it as sex that is not painful). This is often remedied by increasing foreplay to encourage arousal, using lube and improved sexual communication. While conditions such as vaginismus and endometriosis can lead to pain during sex, painful sex can also be a symptom of poor technique and can often be ameliorated by changing the script.

Of course, there are other types of dysfunction, including those that center on physical issues and are not rooted in psychological or romantic distress. But the solution or treatment to any one of these “dysfunctions” may not be at all alike to the treatment for any other dysfunction.

The problem is that the term sexual dysfunction itself is not well-defined, and female sexual dysfunction is even more poorly defined because the umbrella term lumps together so many potential issues, including those that may be easily rectified by a better understanding of female sexuality. Furthermore, having a stronger grasp on female sexuality would show that some so-called dysfunctions are simply functions of sexuality in women that do not need to be pathologized. Of course, it’s not like men don’t suffer from this. It’s not a dysfunction if men ejaculate within ten minutes — it’s the norm — but the deep-seated misunderstanding of female sexual function had led to a lot of suffering.

Fortunately, doctors have devised questionnaires such as the aptly-named Sexual Function Questionnaire, and other tools to more readily diagnose sexual dysfunctions and focus on the root of the problem, whether it may be physical, relational, or a combination of factors. Sex therapists and educators are also making great strides in adjusting public and personal views of normal and healthy sexual function. For example, Dr. Emily Nagoski has written about desire and arousal in her book Come As You Are, Dr. Laurie Mintz shed light on clitoral stimulation in her own book Becoming Cliterate, and Dr. Lori Brotto helps women experience greater sexual function in her recently-released book Better Sex Through Mindfulness.

It should come as no surprise that women working on sexual research and providing sex therapy offer unique insight into female sexuality and what truly is dysfunction. If you’re interested in that topic, check out my post on  about the Women of Sexology

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Science of Sex: Habituation of Sexual Arousal (The Coolidge Effect)

February 24th, 2018

Welcome to the Science of Sex, a feature I've managed to publish on Of Sex and Love for a whole year (albeit not necessarily when I promise to). In this monthly segment, I discuss the science of sexuality in an easy-to-digest format that’s accessible to the casual reader. I will also follow up with some extended reading material for people who want to know more about the subject of each post.

Today's post explains why it's harder to feel aroused by your partner after you've been together for a long period.

Check back every second Saturday of the month (ish) for new Science of Sex posts.

Enjoy!

The so-called Coolidge Effect is a biological occurrence wherein a member of a certain species will experience renewed sexual vigor when a new potential mate enters the picture. In short, even an exhausted male will suddenly be ready to mate if a new female enters.

The Coolidge Effect is apparently named after president Coolidge, who'd had a discussion with his wife about a Rooster's prowess upon visiting a farm. When FLOTUS inquired into the rooster's sexual ability, POTUS apparently remarked upon the number of hens available.

Research indicates that several species experience the Coolidge Effect.  It can also occur in females, but the effect is heightened with males of a species. It may take longer for habituation to effect a woman's sexual respond than a man's. The research is currently conflicting.

Humans are definitely not immune to this, and it doesn't just apply to sexual activity. The Coolidge Effect explains why arousal increases when new stimuli (women) enter the picture. One study examined men's' arousal when exposes to the same stimulus as compared to arousal levels when the men experience more various stimuli.

Similarly, men who repeatedly view porn of the same actress will experience faster ejaculation, and the sperm contained in the ejaculate may actually be healthier!

The term for getting used to the same sexual stimulus is known as habituation, and it's exactly why people grow to need novelty in long-term sexual relationships. It strikes me that the Coolidge Effect can even explain why someone who has new sexual partners, consensually or otherwise, might experience renewed desire for their original partner.

Habituation of sexual arousal is worth looking into deeper. Researchers have found that while genital response will decrease to repeating the same stimulus, people can still subjectively feel aroused. Scientists were especially surprised to learn that this happens in men because men often feel mentally and genitally aroused simultaneously than women (concordance).

The proposed explanation for the Coolidge Effect is the same for many sexual theories. A male of the species will be able to produce more offspring if his desire can be triggered by multiple partners and quickly after new potential partners become available.

What does all this mean? If you've had sex with the same person for quite some time, especially if it's the same sort of sex, arousal might dip. Enter a new, attractive person, and you'll find yourself desiring sex again. Keeping things novel is one way to ward off the Coolidge Effect and minimize habituation, but it doesn't mean that something's inherently wrong with your relationship.  

Habituation may not be permanent, either. In at least one study, men found that desire again increased after a period of time.

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Make love to your long distance lover online

Science of Sex: Dual Control Model

August 13th, 2017

Welcome to the sixth installment in a new feature on Of Sex and Love: Science of Sex. In this feature, I plan to discuss the science of sexuality in an easy-to-digest format that’s accessible to the casual reader. I will also follow up with some extended reading material for people who want to know more about the subject of each post.

Enjoy!

dual control model of sexual desire

I’ve been interested in the dual control model since I first read about it in Emily Nagoski’s book Come As You Are, which I highly recommend but apparently never got around to reviewing. The dual control model was first proposed by Bancroft and Janssen in the early 2000s. This theory is relatively new, but it’s become accepted because it explains desire for many people.

The dual control model explains why desire is more complicated than we’ve been led to believe. It’s not just about what turns us on (our Sexual Excitation System (SES)). Turn offs (Sexual Inhibition System (SIS)) are also as important, and things that arouse you and detract from your desire happen at the same time. Whether you want to have sex is the result of this equation.

SESes (accelerators) can include being attracted to someone, sexy books, music or movies, someone who smells good and, in a few people, stress. SISes that put the kibosh on your arousal might be needing to shower or brush teeth (or needing the same from your partner), having kids or roommates home in the house, dissatisfaction with a relationship, being self-conscious about your body, or any kind of stress. Mood can be a brake, and women are more sensitive to mood when it comes to desire.

The original surveys were given to men and focused on issues with erectile dysfunction. Bancroft and Janssen divided inhibitors into type types for men: SIS1 refers to performance anxiety while SIS2 is inhibition due to possible consequences of sex. Since then, a survey with modified questions has been given to women.  Results indicated that feelings about relationships are especially important to a woman’s desire.

Nagoski’s book is geared toward women, and the dual control model is especially helpful for women who can’t figure out why they don’t want sex more — or even if that means something is wrong with them (hint: there’s not). The dual control model specifically explains why pressing down the gas pedal isn’t enough for many people to want more sex. They must let up on the brakes (inhibitors/turn offs).

I found this explanation especially intriguing because it affects everyone. Dr. Nagoski does discuss this in Come As You Are, mentioning that men tend to have more sensitive accelerators and less sensitive breaks than women. The things that want to make them have sex are many and powerful while the things that make them hesitate are fewer and weaker.

I was eager to apply the dual control model to myself. As best as I can tell, I have more sensitive accelerators than many women but more sensitive brakes than most men. I think many people will benefit from analyzing their desire though the filter of the dual control model.

Interestingly, bisexual women tend to have higher levels of desire than straight women according to the dual control model. I’d like to see how different demographics stack up to straight men and women.

Further Reading

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Categories: Science of Sex

Science of Sex: Conditioning

March 11th, 2017

Welcome to the first post in a new feature on Of Sex and Love: Science of Sex. In this feature, I plan to discuss the science of sexuality in an easy-to-digest format that’s accessible to the casual reader. I will also follow up with some extended reading material for people who want to know more about the subject of each post.

I hope you enjoy. 

Science of Sex -- Conditioning

We all learned about Pavlov, his dogs and classical conditioning in school. By associating a neutral stimulus (the ringing of a bell) with a desired reward (food), Pavlov was eventually able to condition dogs to salivate at only the sound of the bell, even when there was no food in sight.

Much like food conditioning, sexual conditioning exists. However, many people first stumble across their capacity for conditioning quite by accident. Whether you masturbate to hardcore porn during your formative years and become unable to get off any other way or you realize that you’re physically turned on at the sight of a bright red lipstick that your partner wears specifically for sex, you’ve been conditioned.

Human’s aren’t the only animals capable of sexual conditioning. In fact, humans may be less prone to this type of conditioning than other animals. People who higher sex drives who more easily respond to sexual stimuli are the most likely candidates to become sexually conditioned, whether by accident or design. Most studies focus on men, who may be more likely to become sexually conditioned; however, women can experience it, too.

Upon discovering sexual conditioning, some people like to experiment it. BDSM practitioners sometimes employ sexual condition as it’s especially helpful to force someone to orgasm on command. You can certainly play around with sexual conditioning without being kinky, however.

Attempting to sexually condition someone without their knowledge may cross fall into consensual gray area. And classical conditioning has been used for nefarious purposes: specifically to change a person’s sexual orientation. The process, known as conversion therapy, attempts to change a person’s orientation with stimuli such as electricity or nausea drugs. No reputable studies show that this type of conditioning is successful, and one proponent of conversation therapy who wrote a controversial paper about it has since changed his stance and offered an apology to the gay community.

Finally, PTSD because of past trauma can lead to conditioned behavior in otherwise neutral environments because of fear conditioning. This is one reason why it can be difficult for survivors of assault to engage intimate behavior after the assault.

Fortunately, negative conditioning and fear conditioning may be reversed through a process known as counter-conditioning.

Although classic conditioning used for sexual purposes is possible and can be fun, we must address the ethical implications as well as the limitations of sexual conditioning.

Further reading on conditioning and sexuality:

Did you enjoy the first installing of Science of Sex? Do you have further questions or suggestions for next month’s subject? Leave me a comment!

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Short and Sweet

September 10th, 2010

A hand on her hip. Fingers digging into flesh, grasping at bone. She gasps, ruby lips parting in a picturesque silhouette. The hand remains in place, holding her firmly and she remains still, aside from her momentary expression. His other hand roughly fondles her breast, the delicate flesh exposed to the exquisite agony of pinching and pulling and squeezing–all none too lightly.

As if on cue, the hand rests against her skin as he leans his body over hers, his mouth zoning in on her other hip. His breath is hot on her flesh and then his teeth are sinking into it, bruising and cutting her skin. He swirls his tongue inside his mouth, against her skin, before pulling away. His teeth leave marks on her skin as droplets of blood spring from open wounds.

She cries but cuts off shortly as he casts her a swift glance. She clamps her mouth shut as his finger traces the marks on her hip. The touch is gentle but every movement is searing in her imagination, worse than the bite itself. She holds her breath and, almost without realizing it, clenches her thighs. He feels the movement and is upon her in a second, roughly pushing her legs apart. Her vulva glistens in the lamp light, wet from her arousal. Yet, he knows she will be wetter still before the night ends.

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