is a comic and video game nerd, freelance writer, and science enthusiast living in the Frozen Tundra with her cat (who likes to chew on silicone toys) while exploring sex and romance in her mid-30s! She prefers clitoral to vaginal stimulation, deep vibrations to buzzy ones, heavy conversation to small talk, chocolate to vanilla, and books to movies with few exceptions. Her bookshelf includes erotica and books about human sexuality and browser history always include research papers, which give her plenty of blog fodder!
I never thought I would try another Booty Parlor product if I’m being honest. The last time I did, I was rather unimpressed by the quality of multiple products, so I’ve stayed away. It’s been a while, and I’ve opted to review another product from the company thanks to SheVibe. The pink caviar scrub is a body product, sensual as best. It’s definitely not sexual, but I certainly feel sexier when my skin is soft and smooth!
So let’s start with the positives. This thick scrub has some serious scrubbing power thanks to the sugar granules. I’m not sure if the caviar beads help. I can’t really tell the difference between them and the sugar, honestly. The texture is well mixed.
Secondly, I like the smell. It’s generally sweet. The scent is supposed to be raspberry lemonade. I get a hint of lemon if I’m looking for it, but the sugary smell really stands out.
However, there’s something about the overall texture that prevents me from loving this scrub wholeheartedly. More specifically, it’s slick and hard to rinse off. When used on my feet in the shower, it’s slippery. In fact, the residue stays on the floor through several showers, so I couldn’t imagine how slippery this would be after several showers if I used it every time.
Secondly, it’s nearly impossible to wash off my hands and body. To some people, this might feel moisturizing, but it’s definitely intense and not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. This feeling/residue might stick, but the beads do wash off, so it’s still effective.
And to be honest, I never notice after I’m out of the shower, but it bothers me enough that I’d really like to see the ingredients list changed. When moisturizing becomes potentially dangerous, there’s room for improvement.
I’m not entirely sure which of the ingredients is making it so slippery, but they include Jojoba oil, Shea butter, grapeseed, soy, and pheromones. It’s likely the shea butter or oil that’s causing this to be sooo slippery. I’m not sure how I could reduce this for the tub that I have left. Like I said, it works well and smells good.
So any suggestions how to make this a little less likely to cause a broken bone in the shower would be great.
Otherwise, you might give this scrub by Booty Parlor a try.. but $26 is a steep price for a product that doesn’t do everything it’s supposed to with flying colors.
I’ve gone to my fair share of Pure Romance parties. The company seems to be the one that’s most prevalent in many places; although Passion Parties is another name that I know.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve written about sex toy parties. They can be a great deal of fun; although, that depends on who’s there and your consultant. The event might be right up your alley. I’ve had plenty of fun and made new friends at some of them, but others have been a little more lackluster.
However, my issue is with Pure Romance as a company, which doesn’t just sell you sex toys and bath and body items but sells you rebranded items that are marked up. I already knew this about the vibrators and such. As the rep went through the catalog, I recognized several pieces that I had tried by California Exotics. Marilyn was on the list, as well as a number of cheaper vibrators that were marked up 50 to 100 percent. Jaguar is a toy I wouldn’t recommend at $30 let alone $59.
The rep skipped right through the Diamond collection because “we didn’t have that much money,” but it was mostly Jopen products. The Wingman, for example, costs $189 from Pure Romance but the original in the Jopen Ego line is $110. Various items from the Key line are marked up $20 or more.
But, like I said, this is old news. I mostly go for the bath and body products, and I was curious about the pink cupcake scent that’s new. I love my pink cupcake products from Classic Erotica. As it turns out, they smell exactly the same because..
Holiday Products makes both Classic Erotica and Pure Romance.
Now, this could be convenient for some people, but the markup is ridiculous. Pure Romance brands both a shaving cream and a body mist, got $19 and $20, respectively. However, even sex toy vendors charge less than $9 for the body mist. Crazy Girl’s shave cream costs less than half the Coochy-branded cream and, yes, Coochy from either Classic Erotica or Pure Romance is essentially the same thing. The big different? The scents available and what products are there.
Both lines include Body Dew, but Pink Cupcake isn’t available from Classic Erotica. Similarly, not all of the Pure Romance products are available in the other brand. However, even if you can only get it from Pure Romance, you don’t have to buy it from a book party. You can usually hop onto Ebay and get it for much cheaper if you don’t mind waiting a few days for shipping.
However, that’s not the only issue I have with Pure Romance.
Consultants Are Not Given Enough Sexual Health Information and Some of That Information Is Plain Wrong
I don’t expect a sex toy party to be an eye-opening experience, but the last of information was pretty sad. For example, Pure Romance sells anal numbing and vaginal tightening creams, both of which are unhealthy. There’s no warning about them, of course. Plus, numbing creams actually negate you body’s natural response to pain (read more about this here). If it hurts, you’re doing something wrong. The consultant said as much.. right before she hawked the numbing products from the company.
And a warning about silicone lube and silicone toys? Nothing. Sure, she mentioned not to store your toys next to one another but not why. Pro tip: if you leave a jelly toy for long enough, it will leech mineral oil. No mention of using condoms and never using a porous toy that’s been used anally vaginally — ever again. She did mention that no silicone is ever clear, but I’ve seen some of the awesome stuff that Jollies made.
And when someone asked the difference between metal and silicone, she responded that silicone warms to body temperate and metal doesn’t. Actually, both can warm; although, metal feels quite cool if you haven’t prewarmed it, which you can do with warm water. Silicone is also available in a variety of firmness, which is what I wanted to say, but I knew it didn’t pay
Finally, I was absolutely appalled when the rep said that there was only one type of orgasm, and you’re stimulating the same party altogether. No, you are not. Mary Roach wrote a revealing article “The Immaculate Orgasm: Who Needs Genitals?” that’s in her own book and Best Sex Writing 2009. In it, she talks about research on women with spinal injuries who retain the ability to achieve one sort of orgasm but not the other because clitoral and G-spot orgasms trigger different nerves. Not only that, but saying that there’s only one type of orgasm negates all the experiences that women have had, the very women who are at a Pure Romance party to explore their sexuality. Negative comments can be permanently damaging to these women, and that’s just not cool.
Let’s not forget, once and for all, that..
Pure Romance is a pyramid scheme.
And it works only when you can guilt your friends into paying for products.
So let’s just be done with them. You can buy directly from manufacturers like LELO. Shop around online. PinkCherry always has amazing sales, and bloggers like myself are more than happy to write a review to set you on the right path.
It seems like forever ago when I wrote a review for the suntouched candle in skinny dip smell. I still have it, actually, because I’ve had so few opportunities to use it since then. I loved the scent, but honestly, it reminded me of something dreamsicle-like. The sweet vanilla was very obvious and I detected hints of citrus, even though the company actually makes products in the dreamsicle scent. Thus, I knew what to expect when I wanted to try the shower gel from TabuToys.
If you’re not so familiar, then you’ll probably be happy to know that these products are all about remaining natural and good for you. Instead of chemicals, you get natural ingredients such as hemp seed, which is the basis of all Earthly Body products as far as I can tell. I’ve tried a few more hemp seed products since I initially used the massage candle, and I think I’m a fan. Among the perks are the following:
Paraben free
Petroleum free
Phthalate free
Cruelty-free
Vegan
Honestly, I’ll put just about anything on my body as long as it smells good. When it comes to shower gels, a nice lather is also important. The Skinny Dip bath & shower gel by Earthly Body does absolutely both. Now, if you were just taking a sniff at the bottle on the shelf of a store, you might be a little disappointed. You can’t smell much in the bottle. You have to actually put it on your body and let it lather up. Then, the sweet vanilla scent wafts to your nose. I find the smell of the body wash is a little more gentle, less aggressive than the candle. If you want something that’s more lightly scented, this might be the product for you.
It’s also great at lathering. The foam is big and fluffy and fun. Is that a weird way to describe it? I like big, fluffy shower gels. I like to feel the silky foam on my body, and this body wash delivers in that department. It feels luxurious. And I get clean, so that’s awesome.
The bottle is a little smaller but the benefit of this is that the opening is also smaller, so you don’t tend to squeeze out as much product at once, and you really don’t need to with the amount of lather that you get.
The ingredients such as hemp seed lend to moisturizing, but a good lotion or moisturizer after your shower is probably best if you have rather dry skin. Mine’s not, especially in summer time. Earthly Body makes a hand and body lotion in the same scent for that. Other products in the line include body mist, a combination massage candle and body butter and massage oil.
Now, it’s not perfect. For example, it’s a little rough on this sunburn that I’ve managed to give myself, so you may want to pass it up if you’re super sensitive or have a skin condition that soaps tend to irritate. It’s also slippery. I forget this because I only have a shower, but you could kill yourself in your tub if you have nothing to stop skidding. That’s really just the way it is with any body washes. It’d be cool if they had a bar soap, but body wash doesn’t leave a residue like that.
Since I do a lot of shopping online, I like to know as much as I can to determine that I actually want to buy what I’m looking at. I want to know about size and fit and strength, and I do not want to have to send something back because shipping is inconvenient and frequently expensive. However, System Jo seems to want to make it harder than ever to shop. “How?” you ask. I’ll tell you. They come out with an entire line of products that uses descriptions that any normal consumer would think refer to their scents but, no, these are the aphrodisiacs with which each product is infused:
acai
blue lotus
camu camu
goji berry
mangosteen
pomegranate
Never mind the fact that aphrodisiacs are a bunch of BS or that the company’s official statement is to refuse to describe the scents because they want consumers to experience it for themselves. Boy, have we been doing that. None of the Dona products I’ve tried smell anything like the aphrodisiac and most of them have smelled downright awful. I would have saved a lot of time and frustration if I had known that the pomegranate products smell nothing at all like pomegranate.
I find it difficult to believe that I am the only one who feels this way, either. It’s like System Jo is actually making it harder for consumers to find a product that suits them. However, if they had at least tried to describe scents, we’d have a much better idea about which product might suit our tastes or smells as it were. Now, I’d pretty much have to assume all consumers should stay away from all of Dona’s products because they can’t be sure if their powerful smells will be agreeable or cause them headaches. Plus, $10 is a lot more than your $2.50 bottle of body wash from the local drug store, which you actually can smell before you buy.
The good news is, I have a bunch of Dona products that I don’t really like, and I wouldn’t have to deal with if it weren’t for this brilliant marketing move.
The last of the bath and body items I received from Classic Erotica was the Crazy Girl Diva Dust. Like the other items I reviewed, these all focus on sensuality that is conducive to sexuality. Admittedly, body dust isn’t something I would necessarily pick out for myself. I’ve never really bronzed and I don’t always want to be full of glitter. However, it’s something I can see myself occasionally using, now that I’ve had the chance to try it out.The Crazy Girl Diva Dust is not only a shimmery dust but it’s flavored as well. Anything that gets me a lick is a-okay in my book.
Like the other Crazy Girl products, this one is paraben-free, sugar-free, sulfate-free and not tested on animals. If you are on some sort of anti-sugar diet, then licking this off your lover won’t hurt you. According to the manufacturer’s description, this little tub of powder has a lot of powers:
Base of cornstarch, talc and mica for softness plus an even tone to skin upon application. Vitamin C antioxidant helps in collagen production, revitalizes improves skin tone and texture. Aloe Vera Leaf Extract skin soothing, moisturizing agent. Sexy sparkle and shine to accentuate your best assets. Light body shimmer powder designed to give skin a sensual sparkle and glow.
There are some known dangers to inhaling talcum powder, and I do believe that proponents can point out other potential dangers. However, for my infrequent use, this isn’t something that bothers me. I can’t say that this product improves my skin tone or make it softer. It’s already soft enough when I apply it, right out of the shower. What I can say that it does it adds a hint of flavor and a lot of sparkle.
The tub has a screw-off cap and, inside sits a powder puff over the powdered-sugar style container. The small holes allow you to shake the container to apply the product to the puff itself. You can shake off excess product back into the container. There was a sticker seal over the holes when I first received the body dust, so it’s not messy when you first buy it. On the puff, the dust has a hint of color. They call it gold but it’s a shimmery tan. Really, I can only see the glitter on my skin, so I think that this would work on any skin tone, really. The shimmer is super noticeable, however. It’s probably best for wearing at night.
The light sweet taste is accompanied by a similar scent. It’s pleasant but a bit generic. There’s no syrup-y aftertaste/aftersmell, though. The smell isn’t really strong enough to notice over other scented products. I wouldn’t mind tasting it on someone, and the glitter is a good indicator to “lick here.”
I did apply some of this to my sensitive inner thighs after shaving to see if it might help with irritation that I sometimes experience. I don’t know if it helped, but it didn’t hurt.
I’m feeling pretty favorable about this product. It’s light, it’s sweet, it shimmers. It is something I would save for specific occasions, however. I can’t see myself running out any time soon. On the plus side, it’s far cheaper than the honey dusts by Shunga or Kama Sutra, so it’s a nice alternative for someone who wants just a bit of flavored product at a lower price.
Thankfully, this terrible product is no longer available.
It’s fucking perplexing is what it is. How did TopCo come up with the Cake line of body products? How did they design them so gorgeously? How did they plant the idea into my head that I needed them? And how the hell did they create body butters that smell rancid?
If you don’t live in a barn or Afghanistan, then you know I’ve been wanting to try these products for a while. I did try the lipgloss and it was all right. It didn’t put me off, though! I’ll just try a different product, a different scent. Surely I’ll like some of it?! So I was pretty damned excited when the folks at OurNaughtySecrets scent me not one but three of the body butters. I was all kid-in-a-candy shop when I opened the box because, in my opinion, Topco really struck it out of the park with this line.
The packaging is all feminine colors and cartoon pin-ups, reminiscent of a simpler time. Each scent features a different girl and color scheme. For instance, red velvet is pink and boasts a bosomy blonde who reminds me, ever-so-slightly, of Nancy Drew. Y’know, if she were a bosomy blonde who wanted to suck my cock.
The lotion comes in jars but the jars themselves sit in little cardboard boxes that open from the top, like bakery boxes. Except for the Angel Food Cake. That one has some weird hanging box design that is awkward. Still, the design is cute and the jars themselves have metal lids which already remind me of something you’d find in the kitchen or bakery.
Then you open them up and SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ATROCITY I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF THRICE!!!! AAAHHUYTTRFDQWGWQGARGLE! And that is putting it nicely. Something went horribly, horribly, God-awfully wrong with the actual formula. The body butters smell rancid. There’s no other way to put it. I’m not entirely sure that the ingredients didn’t somehow start to ferment as the product sat in a warehouse and on trucks during shipping. Or maybe no one smelled the products after the final testing phase. Either way, it.is.bad.guys.
The Devil’s Food cake smells like rancid chocolate. Like you made some pudding, let it rot for a year and a half while you were in a coma, came home and thought “Hey, maybe it’s still good.” It’s not. The red velvet smells startlingly similar; although, it’s more generically sweet and rancid. To be honest, it’s kind of hard to pin down what red velvet actually smells like and I couldn’t even describe the taste but I’m sure this is not it.
The Angel Food doesn’t actually smell rancid. It could be getting there, though. There’s just a hint of something that I don’t like so while I am going to throw away the body butters in the other scents, I will probably try to use this one. Once I put it on, the scent seems much more balanced. It’s got a kind of vanilla/white-cake smell going on but there’s a definite hint of something like hazelnut which doesn’t belong. I had the same complaint about the lip gloss so.. at least they got it wrong consistently? It’s not awful, though, just nuttier than I’d like.
The body butter is thick and whipped. It’s fun. It rubs into the skin nicely, rather than slathering about on top of it, and does leave my skin faster. However, the containers are only about half full. Perhaps Topco meant to only fill it to below the brim but it’s shifted in transit and has moved to only one half of the jar.
So, the jars are super cute and after I empty them, I will definitely want to put stuff in them. Like pennies, except I have this awesome change counting jar. What the hell should I do with the cute containers from the awful atrocities Topco calls Cake?
If you’ve ever thought “I want to glow in the dark” or “I bet it would be cool to shower with no lights on” or if you’re just a dork, like I am, then this product might interest you. You’ll probably have to ignore the fact that the entire design is reminiscent of mini-golf courses or Chuck E Cheese but, who wouldn’t with glow in the dark body wash?!
First things first. In the image, this appears white. It’s really not. The raspberry scent is a very pale, sickly looking pink. I could do with something a little prettier but I don’t know how realistic that is, given the glow in the dark properties.
Second, this bottle is pretty damned small. The Exotic Fruit Show Gel by Shunga is exponentially larger. This is a problem when you consider how poorly this product lathers. It’s super thin and washes away so easily that I always have to reapply to my bath poof. The bottle is almost half gone after only two weeks or so of use.
Thirdly, the raspberry scent is very unsophisticated. It’s not the subtle and finely crafted scent that I prefer. Rather, it’s run of the mill and too heavy because it’s not really good. Read: cheap.
But, it does glow in the dark. After sitting in the light (my bathroom has a window so this occurs all day), the bottle will turn a light green and cast off light. It’s pretty neat and makes finding your bath products easier if, you know, the power is out. Once you start to lather, however, this quickly disappears. You can’t make any glow in the dark hand prints on your mirror or chase people around like a ghost. This is kind of a failure, in my opinion. Who wants the glowy fun to end?
So, I will be retiring this bottle until such time as I a) run out of good body wash (Skinny Dip Shower Gel is a better product) or b) plan to shower with no lights on or c) just wanna show it to someone. Not using it is the only way you’ll get your money’s worth anyway.
is a blog about my personal sex (and love) life with posts to help educate you about sex, toys, relationships and more! I always aim to entertain the masses. Stay tuned for more sex toys reviews, smutty giveaways and some erotica of my own here and there!
The reviews on this website include items I have received in return for my opinion. I do not endorse any product that I do not believe to be beneficial to my readers nor do I sugarcoat my experiences. Love or hate a product or service, you will know it--honestly.
