Funzze Finger Vibe
$29.99
from Funzze
My first impressions of the Finger Vibe came when I saw the box. It was small. Really small. Surely I hadn’t been looking at something that small, had I? But I was. Apparently, I wasn’t looking that closely.
My second impression was that the dark blue-green of the Finger Vibe in matte silicone is gorgeous. I don’t think I’ve ever owned a toy in this specific shade. There’s also a shiny heart shape that, as far as I can tell, exists only to be pretty and make this toy difficult to photograph lol. Overall, the entire design is pleasing to look at, and I think it is easily one of Funzze’s most attractive toys.
But how does it perform?
The Finger Vibe fits easily between two fingers thanks to the contoured “wings.” Unlike the Mini Marvels line, which had painfully small and rigid finger slots, these are flexible, so they will fit a variety of fingers. They fit well over mine, and I can hold the vibe up without even pinching the center of the wings with my fingers. There’s a potential that the wings won’t offer coverage for someone with really big fingers, but you can still pinch the center to hold it.
The gentle curve naturally fits within your fingers, allowing you to position it wherever you’d like and move it naturally like you’d move your fingers. I think the size probably helps here– less than 3 inches long and only 1.3 inches wide. Ideally, this means placing the bulbous bottom over your clitoris (or other sensitive spot). I really appreciate how far this protrudes because clitoral stimulators that are too flat on the bottom almost universally fail at stimulating the clitoris!
The biggest drawback of the Funzze Finger Vibe might be the small size. While that bulb offers clitoral stimulation and the wings keep it in place between your fingers, the small size requires a small motor. And the vibrations of this toy are rather weak and buzzy, the type that you know will only be less impressive as you increase them. They’re barely there, honestly, especially after using it for a while. The additional vibration patterns offer little because of this. However, if you’re more sensitive to vibrations, you might not mind, but anyone who needs depth and power should look elsewhere.
The size ultimately fails to provide the pressure I need and prefer to get off. If you like to simply hold vibrators against your body, it might work for you–if the weaker, buzzier vibrations aren’t an issue. But a larger toy is better for relieving discomfort on the fingers when you need pressure, as I do. In fact, if this toy was closer to the size of a full hand–something closer to the Playboy Palm, perhaps–it would be far more comfortable to use. As it stands, my fingers became incredibly sore and cramped while trying to achieve the pressure I needed, and there was no payoff to show for it.
You could potentially use it to stimulate a penis by using a healthy dollop of lube, which is necessary for movement because the silicone has a fair bit of drag, and running the toy along the shaft on one side and using your thumb on the other side. Or you could hold it against the base of a penis while you go down on it. Either way, the small size and finger holders that allow you to use your hand naturally could work for this.
The small size might work for people who want to use this during partnered sex. Holding the toy won’t take up much more room than using your fingers alone. Plus, the soft wings will press down under pressure, and I think you could comfortably place this vibrator between your bodies as long as your entire weight isn’t pressing down on your partner’s body. However, I haven’t tried this.
I wouldn’t call it whisper quiet, either. There’s a whistle/whine on all but the lowest setting. Add some white noise or music, and you could get away with using it while someone’s in the other room through a closed door. But there are stronger and quieter clitoral vibrators out there.
One of the biggest cons of this toy is the single button. There’s just not a lot of room for buttons, so I understand the choice not to use more than one. Yet, I cannot forgive the placement choice. Putting it toward the front/nose of the toy doesn’t give you the leverage to press the button while your fingers are under the wings, so I find myself having to remove my fingers and stop using the toy to push the button. This is a great opportunity to place the button on the side where your thumb could press it or to employ some sort of pressure mechanism instead. Pressing the toy harder to your body would increase the vibrations. That would solve the issue of pressure!
When pushing the button, there’s an audible click, which I appreciate. However, the button slightly recesses into the toy when pushed, which could be an issue for those with long nails or large fingers. I think most buttons would be better raised from the toy to make them easier to use for everyone. But this is far from the worst physical button function I’ve ever used. On the other hand, the single button means you need to cycle through the nine modes every time. I’ve found this is the case with all the Funzze toys I’ve tried. If you want to get back to a setting, you need to go through all the vibration settings, and sometimes, turning it off to start from the base setting is faster! Frustrating.
On the opposite end of the toy from the button, are two magnetic contact points for the charger, similar to Fun Factory’s chargers. Thanks to this, it’s completely waterproof. However, I can’t imagine that you’d want to use it in the shower because the water hitting your body would compete with the weaker vibrations. But you can easily clean the Finger Vibe with soap and water without having to protect any ports. Once clean, Funzze includes a silky storage pouch for your Finger Vibe. That pouch can then go in your nightstand, sock drawer, or maybe even in your bedframe or between your mattress and box spring! It would also be a great option for travel because it’s so small and light.
Funzze includes a USB charging cable that requires an adapter or USB port to charge. It’s fairly short, around two feet. I think most of us would want something longer. The light around the button blinks while charging, and although it’s a pretty green, I didn’t even notice it during use.
The last thing included with the vibrator is a single page of instructions, which is fairly easy to miss, lose, or toss. It almost feels like an afterthought. I didn’t even look at it before trying the Finger Vibe and have since misplaced it, so I’m unsure about the time it takes to fully charge the toy or how long the toy will work while fully charged. These are often just guesses that aren’t super close in practice, so I’m not super concerned. This vibrator comes charged, anyway.
Where does this leave us? Unfortunately, with a gorgeous and affordable vibrator that does some things really well but mostly failed to impress me. At $30, it’s not the end of the world if you try it and don’t like it, but I’d rather push people toward more expensive items that perform better.