Mini Marvels Marvelous Massager

September 16th, 2018

I’ll be honest. I thought all the vibrators in the Mini Marvels line looked dinky, a word I used to describe a toy in a review from a decade ago – and one a little more recently! I was looking for any reason to try a toy in this line, however, because of the comic book-inspired packaging. After I read Dizzy Girl’s favorable review of the Teaser, I decided to try one.

I thought perhaps that the Marvelous Massager was best suited for my masturbatory preferences, and SheVibe shipped it my way.

Cal Exotics attempted to create a line of toys that fit into your hand almost intuitively, and this is one of the things that initially attracted me to the line when I came across it in Dizzy’s review. The finger location of the Teaser, however, seems a little more natural; although, even Dizzy Girl mentioned having to hold the toy in a way other than was intended by the design because she’s human. As am I

Despite other reviewers finding the Marvelous Massager, in particular, to be comfortable to hold, I could not disagree more. In fact, I was surprised to hear anyone describe this thing as easy to hold. As it turns out, I was holding it wrong. See, I require a lot of clitoral pressure when I masturbate, and I want to hold the Marvelous Massager with the thinner end toward my mons, so I get more pressure from the thicker end. Of course, the valleys for my fingers don’t work at all in that position.

Even when I turn the toy around, it still doesn’t seem to be designed well. Keeping your fingers between the “fins” prevents you from bending them at all. I probably have arthritis in my hands, and simply placing my fingers inside the slots for less than a minute leaves my knuckles feeling a bit stranger for a while. Not necessarily painful, but just a reminder of how damn awkward the position was. Were the handle portion narrow like the Teaser, it might fit more comfortably.

But there’s another issue. The Mini Marvels seem like they might simply be better for someone whose hands do not fit into gloves meant for children. In Mizz Jezebella’s photos, her fingers extend far longer than mine, and her knuckles sit differently within the finger valleys.

Finally, you can’t push the buttons with the same hand that’s using the vibrator

I think a solution to my issues, aside from having hands that function at 100%, would simply to make the fins that line that finger valleys much more flexible. A couple of bloggers call them flexible in their reviews but.. eh.. not really. You’d certainly think the fins would be more flexible than they are. That would give my fingers more room to “breathe” and, I suspect, make holding the Marvelous Massager much more comfortable (especially if they extended further from the center of the toy). Plus, this would allow a greater range of people to use this toy.

CalExotics obviously designed the Marvelous Massager — and perhaps all of the toys in the Mini Marvels line — with (cis) women in mind. They’re ideal for lithe fingers and, in fact, the illustrations included with the Marvelous Massager do not depict human fingers. Perhaps they’re some sort of alien appendages. I don’t know if CalExotics has invented finger shaming, but it’s ridiculous.

As is, my fingers seem pretty standard width. They’re not remarkably slender or wide. But anyone with meatier fingers, and definitely cis men would find the Marvelous Massager nigh on impossible to use as intended.

You can always use the toy more in the palm of your hand than with your fingers in the grooves. The shape of the Marvelous Massager means that I still can’t acquire the pressure that I prefer. I like the side that makes contact to protrude more. Lelo Siri 2Lelo’s Siri does this a bit. So does the Fun Factory Laya Spot. It allows me to grind the toy into my vulva. I can’t do this with this toy, however.

That leaves us at vibrations. I’ve seen some toys that are surprisingly powerful despite their size and toys that have vibrations as weak as they are small. The Marvelous Massager falls somewhere in between. It’s perhaps stronger than you might think given the design, but it’s a far cry from marvelous. Perhaps the broad bottom of this toy is less than ideal for distributing vibrations. I don’t necessarily want something pinpoint, but it’s just a bit too diffuse for me. I tried using the vibrator on its side, but that’s not an ideal solution, either.

There are 7 settings aside from constant vibration. By now, my readers probably know that I’m not down with these settings. They seem lackluster per usual.

One thing I do like is that the two buttons (power and cycling through settings) are raised. These didn’t show up well in my photos, but they’re easy to find with your fingers. Of course, the position doesn’t make perfect sense. I wonder if CalExotics could have managed to put them more on the sides like some computer mouses have buttons. Or even make it squeezable from the sides. Combining this with the Minna Limon would make an interesting little toy.

Aside from issues I’ve covered, you might care to know that the Marvelous Massager is waterproof and recharges via USB. For those who desire more power, you’re only going to get 30 minutes out of this vibrator (2 hours on low setting, however). This seems laughable compared to some vibrators and especially when you consider that it needs 2.5 hours to charge. I drained the toy on my first use. It looks like the entire line uses the same motor, so I wouldn’t use this as your only toy if you enjoy marathon sessions.

I suppose I cannot help but wonder if the shape of the Marvelous Massager is my biggest issue. Would I have preferred the Teaser? Betty Butch doesn’t recommend the Flicker for pressure, either. I am quickly running out of options here. I think I’m just out of luck.


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