November 2019 Media Recommendations

November 29th, 2019

Another month has passed. Another spate of podcasts has graced my ears. Between work, holidays, and reviews, I managed to enjoy some awesome media related to sex, gender, and orientation. You’ll see my particular brand of nerdiness in this month’s recommendations.

Watch
Sex educator Emily Nagoski discusses the two things couples can do to sustain a sexual connection in the longterm in her recent TED talk.

I’ve also been rewatching Stargate SG-1, which I never don’t recommend. Ha!

Listen

Cristen and Caroline of Unladylike interview Ilene Chaiken, creator and showrunner of the original L Word, to discuss how the show broke ground, the inspiration for the show, being a woman in Hollywood, and the upcoming continuation of it. I was a late fan of The L Word, and 15 years later, it’s impossible to deny some of the things it got wrong. Still, I’ll check out the new one, and this interview was enlightening.

On a recent episode of Sluts & Scholars, Simone welcomed to the show former sex worker Juniper Fitzgerald to talk about the stigma of sex work even after a person has left the industry. Juniper, who is now a professor, talks about balancing her sex persona and real life, and how that doesn’t always work out. The interview isn’t polished as Simone has a lot of energy and is very distractable when not kept in check by Nicoletta, but it’s worth a listen.

While not detailing sex specifically, the recent Freakonomics episode about Hollywood’s “princess problem” welcomes veteran actor and feminist Geena Davis who was more than happy to discuss gender inequality in the world and in Hollywood and what she’s doing about it. Hint: she’s making the research happen.

In the most recent episode of Outward, the hosts and their guest discuss the way that kids learn about queerness and sexuality and the ways in which adults can respond that can be beneficial or harmful, especially when those parents might be cis and straight. Christina makes a great point about how teaching kids about queerness isn’t necessarily about sex and how important community is to queerness. They also bust the idea that there is one “sex talk,” and that parents must keep having these conversations with their kids. In the second half of the show, clinical psychologist Dr. Laura Edwards-Leeper joins to discuss how healthcare is handled for trans kids who haven’t reached puberty or age of majority.

A Peepshow podcast from September invites Ricci from Woodhull to discuss the organization’s legal case against the US over SESTA/FOSTA. The hosts were then joined by one of Woodhull’s attorneys, Larry Walters. This episode reveals why this is such an important case and what’s next.

Finally, this episode of American Sex featuring Shanna Germain, who writes erotica and makes games, looks at the intersection of kink and gaming (RPG/tabletop) and how the lessons we learn about consent through kink can be applied to ensure everyone at the table is comfortable. It might be my favorite podcast of the entire year, and so little of it is about sex. Shanna seems like a super cool person, and it definitely made me want to check out Monte Cook games more closely.

I don’t have any traditional book recommendations because I spent the last two months enjoying the unabridged audiobooks of The Lord of the Rings as read by Ron Inglis. They were so very charming, and I’m sad that the journey has ended. I actually signed up for Audible just to listen to the last two. I’m over my 60-book goal for the year, so I’ll probably take December easy and focus on comics unless something interesting comes up for me to review. I do still have two book reviews before the end of the year, so keep an eye out for those!

Folks, let me know what you loved this month that’s related to sex. Or even if it’s not!I

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Tonight, I Met a Guy

December 12th, 2015

Tonight, I met a guy I’d been talking to online for a few days. It’s not a long story; although, it is interesting. To me, at least.

I’ve been playing a game called Ingress lately. It’s sucked up a lot of my time, and I’ve met a few new friends through it. Ingress is a local MMO, so I’ve been talking to and occasionally running into people in the area.

A few weeks ago, I came across the OkCupid profile of someone who plays the game because he uses the same name in both places. I hadn’t seen him being active in the game the entire time I’ve played, but he did create some missions in the area so I recognized the name. i didn’t message him because, to be honest, he’s not quite my physical type.

Fast forward a couple days and I see he’s become active in the game. Then, he messages me on POF the next day. I recognize his pictures and reply solely because we play the game and it’s an interesting coincidence. Instead of answering his questions, I complained — in a friendly manner — about him attacking me in the game.

This prompted some fairly consistent conversation back and forth. While I wasn’t quite sure if we clicked, we moved communication off site. We’ve had fun talking, and a lot of talking we’ve done. but as things seemed more like they could be something, I became even more anxious to meet him. And as someone who is already anxious to meet anyone, this isn’t a  great thing. To my credit, I was upfront about this. To his credit, he’s been incredibly understanding and helpful about it.

We’ve very missed each other by very short time frames playing our games, and I found this both amusing and, perhaps, a bit relieving because I didn’t have to meet him. He’s politely inquired a few times, and tonight went out specifically with the intent of crossing my path.. only i slipped back home after missing him by an entire two blocks and a few short minutes. I wound up going back out specifically to meet him when I saw he was out, and we met. Although, maybe meeting a stranger a 1am isn’t the best idea ever. Heh.

It wasn’t terrible though. A little awkward but not the most awkward meeting I’ve ever had. To my surprise, he’s better looking in person. I don’t think he photographs well. He has an adorable dog and he knows when to laugh at my jokes. I had a decent time, which is more than I can say for 90% of the times I’ve met a guy in person after talking online.

I think I slightly prefer the way we communicate online, but there’s at least something worth exploring here.

We ended with a hug that I, strangely, found myself holding onto longer than he did.

We departed on a high note but I wanted to send him a quick message before he headed to bed and I headed to the Internetland. He mentioned that it was well worth it to stay up late enough to cross paths with me, and I feel quite flattered. He’s really such a kind and good person, which is a relief and would probably make for an awesome friendship if nothing else.

But aside from that, I’m glad to have finally met someone again. It’s been years since I’ve done that. I went on so many terrible first dates/meetings. I didn’t want to go on any more. And the longer it had been, the scarier the idea had become.

So, yea, I met a guy.

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