Fall 2020 Media Recommendations

October 30th, 2020

I’ve skipped right from spring to autumn, and I hope you all won’t mind! It’s been busy for reasons that I really should blog about! With that, I’ll leave you with some media recommendations that will keep you busy!

A content warning: the last several podcast recommendations mention sexual assault and abortion. I’ll mention the content warning again so you can skip to the next section!

Listen

I found the episode of American Sex with Catie Osborn about ADHD and sex to be interesting. It touched on some science and revealed how much more we have to discover. I only wish she had backed up some of her statements with sources.

Sunny and Ken also interviewed Ana Algos about being a BDSM switch,  teaching kink online, safety, and how COVID has made education more accessible to those people who weren’t privileged enough to participate in such things before.

There are several of Sluts, and Scholars episodes that were great listens for me! First up, Andre Shakti discusses wrestling fetishes, learning shame about sexual interests, and non-intimidating ways you can open up to a partner about sex. I also recommend you tune into the episode with Zoe Ligon, owner of Spectrum Boutique, who discusses her book about sex toys, sex education, and providing toys to shoppers during the pandemic.

I couldn’t write a post without mention Tristan Taormino’s podcast Sex Out Loud Radio, either. Tristan invited Dr. Nan Wise on her show to discuss her interest in neuroscience and sex, which is right up my alley and should be up yours, too!

Content warning: sexual assault and abortion mentioned below

I also LOVED Tristan’s talk with Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan about their work on campus sexual assault. It’s the sort of research that I find fascinating, and they ask some tough but necessary questions.

I couldn’t believe how unethical and common pregnancy crisis centers are when I listened to Unladylike’s episode on the topic. The facts and firsthand knowledge shared will blow your mind in the worst possible way, but it’s absolutely worth a listen.

Finally, I want to recommend an entire podcast. Beyond Fear: The Sex Crimes Podcast by Alexa Sardina and Alissa Ackerman is full of the science I love and the compassion we need around the topic of sexual assault. I first heard Alissa on Unladylike in an episode about the American prison system but knew I needed to listen to her podcast with Alexa to understand more about sexual assault. Both women are researchers who have worked with perpetrators and survivors of sexual assault and are survivors themselves, and the knowledge they provide in this podcast is astounding. Every episode has been eye-opening; most have been difficult. I also appreciate what a good job they do with content warnings at the top of each episode. If you can handle it, it’s one of the most important podcasts I’ve ever listened to.

Watch

I came upon these two talks separately, so while they both deal with gender, it’s a coincidence.

In her Ted Talk, Karissa Sanbonmatsu discusses the search for a biological basis for gender and, more specifically, how epigenetics impacts gender. as she attempts to answer the question, “What does it mean to be a woman?” Epigenetics and the basis of gender are both fascinating on their own, but it’s genius to consider them together. Science can only take us so far, however, and the compassionate undertones in Karissa’s speech remind the listener that women don’t exist in vacuums. We’re part of society, which also gives meaning to being a woman.

To continue the theme, Emily Quinn starts her Ted Talk with “I have a vagina.” But she examines how we place people into boxes labeled “man” and “woman” and what it means to be intersex. Emily discusses natural human variation and the shortcomings of the sex/gender binary, and the harm it does to people.

Read

I’ve been busy reading other things but was so excited that my library picked up Kate Lister‘s A Curious History of Sex, which was released in February. I’m always impressed when a book surprises me with knowledge, and this one did!  It was funny and quick, and I hope to make time to review it shortly. If I don’t get around to it, I still recommend it!

One of the things about doing a semi-quarterly version of these posts is that I don’t feel the need to pad the posts. I really have a chance to consume some quality media, which doesn’t just make for good recommendations; it also keeps me entertained and informed. I hope these posts do the same for you, and if you think there’s something I ought to recommend or simply enjoy myself, please let me know in the comments!

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Science of Sex: Sex Chromosomes Aren’t Binary

December 1st, 2019

Sex Chromosomes Aren't Binary

More than once, people have suggested that I cover biological sex in the Science of Sex feature. I have shied away from it because it seemed controversial. However, the more I know, the more I understand that some science isn’t at all controversial. In fact, understanding it can lend to our understanding of sex and gender and why it’s never been black-and-white.

One of the transphobic arguments often made is that two pairs of chromosomes determine if a person has the biological sex of a male or female: XY and XX, respectively.  Each cell contains each of these chromosomes, which each come from one of our parents. Most of us learned this in a science class, and many of us haven’t learned anything more since then.

However, there are actually more than two chromosomal possibilities, including

  • XX
  • XY
  • X
  • XXY and XXXY
  • XXX, XXXX, XXXXX
  • XYY
  • XX with translocation (XX male)
  • XY with deletion (Swyer syndrome)

With this in mind, sex seems much more of a spectrum than a binary.

Some of these variations have their own names. For example, a single X chromosome is Turner Syndrome, which is accompanied by several abnormal growth patterns. On the other hand, having three or more X chromosomes is labeled Triple-X syndrome or trisomy X, and these people have the nickname “super-female”. A “super-male,” on the other hand,  has an extra Y chromosome and will tend to be quite tall with extra testosterone. A person with Triple-X syndrome may be slightly taller and thinner than the typical XX woman, but may not be noticeably different. An assumed male who inherits an extra X chromosome or two has Klinefelter syndrome and may have stereotypically female traits and be unable to reproduce.

The latter two examples represent instances in which person’s sexual organs do not align with their karyotype. For example, a person may have the “male” sex chromosomes with female reproductive organs, which are typically not functional. This is known as Swyer syndrome/XY gonadal dysgenesis. These people are usually raised and treated as women while the counterpart is an XX “male,” who is viewed by the world as a boy. Those with this syndrome may not have a detectable SRY gene, which is responsible for an embryo turning male.

Discrepancies between chromosomes and genitals is sometimes known as being “intersex.” This term can also refer more broadly to anyone whose sexual anatomy doesn’t align with the binary (male or female) or whose internal and external genitals do not match. In the past, this has been confused hermaphroditism; however, many prefer the term “intersex” as a less offensive alternative. The World Health Organization explains how true hermaphroditism occurs when a person has mature testicle and ovary tissues. The term “intersex” is not accepted by everyone, however, because of the implication that something is wrong with someone who has these chromosomal differences.

Surgical interventions can be used on young children to “correct” these things, and those children may never realize that they do not conform to the binary. However, these surgeries. which are intended to allow a person to live normally and prevent or reduce psychosocial outcomes may not work as intended. Many surgeries were performed to feminize an intersex person, but this can affect adult sexual function. Furthermore, people may continue to develop with more typical male patterns.

And sometimes that discrepancy can exist but a person with XX chromosomes can have functional sperm while a person with XY chromosomes may have functional ovaries. So it’s possible for a person not to realize that there is a discrepancy if their sex organs are functional — to be “invisibly” intersex. While current estimates vary — some put the intersex population at about 1 out of 100 people in the US and others at 1 in 2000 — the real number could be higher because of these people.

The final nail in the coffin about chromosomes defining sex and, by association, gender, as binary might be the fact that it doesn’t take into consideration at all the role of hormones, which may not respond as expected, either. A person with XY chromosomes who has androgen sensitivity syndrome will develop female-typical sex organs because their body doesn’t respond to androgens, for instance.

There are cases of female-typical bodies and chromosomes responding in male-typical ways in limited situations. And people with similar chromosomes or bodies can still respond uniquely to different hormones and systems. Understanding these very specific differences has revealed the myriad ways that the sex binary fails us and the important things we must note to provide adequate medical care.

This messiness indicates why viewing male and female as the only two sex options is limiting and confusing. While simplifying these ideas has been helpful in some instances, it has been harmful in others. It’s not scientifically sound and can lead to social stigma for those people who do not fit within the binary.

This is all pretty basic stuff that has been researched, even if the general public hasn’t learned about it. When contrasted with gender identities, which have been conflated with sex and similarly viewed as binary, we see that there should be a lot more room for expression. It may very well be that there is overlap with people whose biology falls more toward the middle and those who identify as nonbinary or transgender (at least one study finds that the brains of trans kids match their gender identity). But these things aren’t mutually inclusive.

Further Reading

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Science of Sex: What’s New In Sex Research (Summer 2019 Edition)

August 31st, 2019

What’s New In Sex Research (Summer 2019 Edition)

While I prefer for each entry in the Science of Sex archive to be a deeper dive into a specific topic, I’ll be taking a break from that this month. There’s simply so many articles that have recently come across my dashboard that I want to write about them. We’re always expanding our knowledge about sexuality, gender, and related topics, but this summer ushered in a flurry of news that really exemplifies this. It’s so exciting!

Let’s jump in. Note that relevant links are included in each section and not at the end of this post per usual.

The most recent of those articles is one about how genetics can explain same-sex behavior. Researchers concluded that there is no one “gay gene” but that several genes do connect with homosexual behavior. Furthermore, gay men and women (presumably cisgender) are affected by different genes. The survey has a few week spots including focusing on behavior versus attraction, but it’s fascinating nonetheless.

Another discovery that’s gotten a lot of media attention is how scientists isolated a gene that, when activated, would create sperm that resulted in male offspring. They successfully applied this to the sperm of mice to produce a higher ratio of male offspring than usual. They believe this applies to all mammals.

In a positive turn for preventing HIV transmission, one studies found that repeated exposure to semen can change vaginal tissues and actually make a ciswoman less susceptible to contracting the virus.

And in other STI news, there could be a chlamydia vaccine on the way! A study of the effect of the drugs on people has been found to be safe. This is good news for the 100+ million people who contract the STI globally each year.

A team looked into why men send dick pics, finding that men who do tend to be more narcissistic.  However, they determined that “he unsolicited dick pic phenomenon cannot be viewed solely as a sexist campaign, nor as a positive outlet for sexuality; instead, cases must be considered on an individual basis.”

After surveying over 2,000 polyamorous people, researchers discovered they were less likely to be religious and more likely to support political third parties. While poly folks were more likely to be nonbinary or bisexual and pansexual, they were not more likely to be gay or lesbian than monogamous people. Poly people were also more likely to make less than $40,000 annually. Research Justin Lehmiller states that,

While our results do not come from representative samples, they suggest that the stereotype of polyamorists as young, White, wealthy liberals doesn’t necessarily match up with reality. Indeed, compared to monogamists, polyamorists were not any younger, Whiter, wealthier, or more likely to identify with the Democratic party.

Surprisingly, women who were married multiple times have more surviving offspring than men who do found researchers after analyzing data about the community of Pimbwe in Tanzania.  This seemingly contradicts the idea that men achieve greater reproductive success by having a variety of partners.

According to his recently released book, ADHD After Darker, Dr. Ari Tuckman has found that a woman who has ADHD have sex 25% more often than when the man in a couple has ADHD due to ADHD’s correlation with sexual eagerness. This can lead to greater sexual satisfaction than when the man has ADHD and this leads to a great discrepancy in sex drive.

Finally, one last study finds that women who take hormone replacement therapy for menopause relief have an increased risk of breast cancer, even more than a decade after they cease the medication. The longer a woman is on HRT, the greater her risk for breast cancer. This is potentially concerning as estrogen and other hormones have been prescribed to help women cope with the symptoms of menopause and to enable them to continue enjoying sex. There was not a similar risk for women who were obese, however.

 

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August 2018 Sex Media Recommendations

August 25th, 2018

I’ve been excited to post this ever since I posted the first one. The blog format works a little better than social media since posts stay on the front page where you can see them longer. Plus, I often come across great content but am not able to immediately share it, so my readers and followers never get that recommendation. I find that knowing I want to recommend media makes me think more critically about what I am watching or reading and how it might apply to my followers, too. Finally, there’s a bit of accountability. If I want to have things to include, I need to make sure I am keeping myself educated.

Reading

I am currently reading The Loving Dominant by John Warren. I’ve had it long enough that I don’t even recall when I bought it. Although, my Amazon history surely knows. I know there’s a more recent edition than mine (second, revised in 2000), and I would recommend that to anyone who might want to check out this book, which tackles both the physical and psychological responsibilities of being dominant. Mine seems a bit dated in ways that I assume the 2008 version wouldn’t.

I don’t normally read as many books about sex as I did last month, but I already have another one to review sitting in front of me, and I am excited about it. Here’s hoping it winds up on next month’s list.

Watching

This month, I finally decided to use my new rope, which means tutorials. Although I didn’t buy Twisted Monk rope (soon!), I headed to their tutorials on Youtube. I especially enjoy how the tutorials show a few modifications for different body types and abilities.

Naomi Wolf and Jim Pfaus talk sex in this Youtube video from a conference at Concordia University. They touch on desire, how the brain responds to sexual cues, the interplay between chemicals and culture, and more. The video was posted in 2013, but it still has useful information if you have time to watch it.

Listening

While last month’s list included a bunch of sex-specific podcasts, I switched things up a bit this month by listening to podcasts that happened to do some amazing episodes about sex, even though the podcast theme isn’t necessarily human sexuality.

First, we have the Gonad series from RadioLab, which includes some episodes that delve into the science of gender and just how complicated it really is. The episodes go far deeper than chromosomes, and I learned a few things that I could not help but share.

Secondly, I started and proceeded to listen to every episode of Science Vs, a podcast hosted by an adorable Australian woman that takes an unbiased look at a variety of topics. I really enjoy the show and am so sad it’s in between seasons. There are episodes about circumcision, the G-spot, birth control, sex addiction, and more. But they’re all worth listening to.

Another podcast by the same company is Reply All, which focuses on Internet-related topics. The podcast episode about the consequences of the FBI’s seizure of Backpage.com is incredibly revealing.

Do you read, watch or listen to anything related to sex this month that you want to share? Sound off in the comments!

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This Ain’t A Man’s World

October 23rd, 2012

Writer Rose Crompton explores how sex shops are no longer a male only domain.

There was a time when you said the phrase “sex shop” and floods of negative connotations would come to mind: tucked away down a dark alley, illuminated by a flickering red light or garish XXX neon sign. Once entering the shop you’d be accosted by shelves upon shelves of hardcore porn DVD’s – many with cover images that could lead to the question of the legality of it – each row filled with seedy looking gents in long coats, fingering the cases carefully as he decides which bit of grot to take home tonight.

This is, of course, total stereotyping and although there are still many scenes like this that ring true in red light districts around the world, it’s also hard not to notice that there is a big shift happening and the face of sex shopping, how we do it and the characters we come across, are radically changing.

Dare we say it, but it appears that sex shops are becoming more female friendly, even specifically targeting women. With the opening of sex stores or raunchy lingerie shops on the high-street, it means that adult stores are being taken out of the dingy back streets and thrust into the bright lights of acceptable consumerism and us women are definitely not turning a blind eye to it. In fact, we relish it, especially with the online explosion where sites like Vibrations Direct, which are tailored to appeal to women and couples specifically, it appears that sex shopping is no longer a male domain.

Men may still have porn, only just thanks to a number of female directors and production companies breaking through, but women definitely have the real pleasure chest at their fingertips. The number of vibrators, dildos, bondage gear and sex clothing that is targeted at women far outweighs what men have at their sexual disposal, if they choose. As the shops move into the light, so do the Sex toys companies as they create ever more desirable and lust-worthy toys. Some of these are even elevated to the status of designer brands and are distinctly aimed at women.

For savvy, sex positive ladies (or those of use that have watched countless episodes of Sex And The City), most of us know the difference between our bullet vibes and rampant rabbits. Where once men used to find shopping for the right lingerie for their partner intimidating a recent survey revealed that 90 percent of British blokes now have that down. The new frontier is now sex shops and knowing how to buy the right vibrator when she asks him to “surprise her” that is presenting a real challenge.

There have been too many times men have contacted Vibrations Direct to ask, “Where do I start? I don’t have a clue what half this stuff does!” and it’s clear that a domain in which men used to feel so comfortable is fast become deep, uncharted waters for them.

So, the tables have clearly turned: once it was that women would find it intimidating to enter a sex shop, let alone buy a vibrator, even with their partner and despite the fact they were otherwise a sexually confident lady. “I was dating a fetish model and even she found it unnerving to go in,” explains frequent sex shopper, Whiskey.

It’s now men that come in holding their girlfriend or wife’s hand and allowing her to take the lead when it comes to provocatively fingering the toy boxes and making the decision on which sex aide to take home that night.

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Sexuality and Gender

March 15th, 2009

A post on the Ef forums got me to thinking. The author seemed to suggest that because that the community members were obviously interested in sex (it is a sex toy forum, afterall) then we must also be interested in gender, as though the 2 are mutually inclusive.  Now, maybe I am the odd duck out and maybe I just don’t spend a whole lot of time considering gender because I fit into the definition without turmoil but sex and gender just don’t have a lot to do with one another. Yes, I have a gender and I have sex as do my husband but that’s about where it stops.

Nevertheless, I’d like to know how everyone else feels? do sexuality and gender go hand in hand? Do you see a lot of voerlap in the subjects? Or are you of the same mind as me?

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