Wanachi Rechargeable Massager

July 27th, 2012

Wanachi Rechargeable Massager

Wanachi Rechargeable Massager
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I’m not going to lie, part of the reason I requested to review the Wanachi Rechargeable Massager is simply because I remember them showcasing it on that one sex toy shopping TV show, the name of which completely escapes me now. I can literally hear one of the hostesses talking about it and, you know, I thought it might be nice to have a rechargeable full-size massager. Both of mine, while powerful and small, require me to tether myself to the outlet. I have pulled my Miracle Massager cord out of the outlet more than once, guys.

As is there were any doubt from the name, this is Pipedream’s Hitachi knockoff. There’s really not much difference as far as I can tell; although I’ve never used a Hitachi. I don’t think I would want to now, to be honest. The box for this vibrator was huge because, well, the vibrator itself isn’t a petite thing. It’s heavier, longer and wider than my Miracle Massager… even combined with my Inspire. I was just not prepared for this monstrosity. The head of this massager is like the size of my fist.

I also wasn’t surprised for it to be charged. I’ve gotten lucky with toys that way, lately. They usually aren’t but this one was. A slider switch let me easily move between the two settings.. and I was immediately disappointed. The vibrations on the lower setting weren’t any stronger than some vibes that take 2AAs or 3 or 4 AAAs. They weren’t as buzzy, sure, but they were just plain weak. Any of the Jopen vibrators blow this one right out of the water.

On the high setting, it wasn’t quite so bad… but it was still like the low on my Miracle Massager or Inspire. The vibrations of the Wanachi Rechargeable Massager were so lackluster that I plugged it in, thinking maybe it wasn’t charged all the way. Unfortunately, it was.

I wish my disappointment had ended there, but it doesn’t. I was resting this hulk (hey, they should make it green!) against my clit, and the edge of the head was doing okay for me, when it just died. Now, I think I’d gotten off once or twice, and I sort of wasn’t paying attention as I finished The Great Gatsby, but the vibrator died well within 30 minutes. That’s right, after I double-charged the thing, it just died.

Now, I wish I could say “whoa! these guys says I should get 3 hours of time,” but I can’t. Honestly, the product description is so freakin’ vague. I’m not sure what the advertised amount of usage is, or how long Pipedream recommends that I charge this vibrator for. Regardless, it wasn’t strong, small, quiet or long-lived enough for my tastes. The only way in which this massager really didn’t disappoint me is with its flexible neck. It’s super flexible. Way more than the Inspire.

I think you might assume that it’s as strong as the Hitachi, but it’s just not. If you want cord-free, take any vibrator that runs on 2AAs. It’ll do you better than the Wanachi Rechargeable Massager, by far.

[Edit]

Oh my god, you guys. This thing is a fuckin’ zombie. I accidentally bumped it on my nightstand, and it works again! I didn’t charge it, I just turned it on and it worked. I’ve been able to get a few more sessions of use out of it. While it’s still weaker than you’d expect, it apparently works longer. I just don’t know why. Perhaps it overheated the first time, which is definitely not a sign of quality. Your guess is as good as mine.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit

October 12th, 2011

My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit

My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Sometimes, toys make it to the shelf with such a design flaw that I really have to wonder, “What were they thinking?” Such is the case with the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. I was perplexed as soon as I opened the box but, you see, the description is kind of misleading. According to the website, “This complete kit contains 2 soft pliable attachments with the world famous Mini Miracle Massager.” So you would expect to receive a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments and that, that I can live with. I would expect not to love every attachment but have a functional massager, nevertheless.

Wrong.

The problem is that it’s not a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments (although, that already exists). It’s a model based on the Mini Miracle Massager, but there’s a permanent fixture on the head onto which you place attachments. The attachments are not part of a cup that goes over the head; rather, they both have a little hole that slides onto an awkwardly placed knob on the side of the wand. Perhaps it wouldn’t seem so awkward if you only used the pleasure kit for vaginal/internal stimulation because then you can aim the extension up and hold the handle perpendicular to your body. Unfortunately, I think of this type of toy as clitoral by default –and the tongue-shaped attachment certainly supports my conclusion — so I don’t want to do that.

Mini Miracle Massager Probe AttachmentI tried anyway. I put the little nubby attachment on first after giving it a good scrubbing. From the side, it looks like a character with a cartoonishly large nose. While the TPE attachments may be Phthalate-free, they freaking stink. I mean, pew! As suspected, the placement was awkward, and the shape was less than ideal for clitoral stimulation. I didn’t get off.

I had even less success with the tongue shape. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do with it. The most comfortable way to hold it implies internal stimulation, but I don’t like tongue-shapes inside of me. To align the tongue with my clit, I’d either have to point the end of the handle between my knees or down toward my abdomen, so that was a no-go either.

My Mini Miracle MassagerI’d like to say the massager itself was redeemed, but it’s not because you can’t use it by itself. There’s a sticky-offy knobby thing that not only gets in the way but feels pretty unhygienic, too. The knob itself is unfinished, so water can get into it. The same is true for the extensions. You have a little less room to get in there and dry things off when you clean it, which I don’t like.

California Exotics has kept the same springy head and easy to use controls as the regular Miracle Massager, which I still love. There’s two speeds and an off. Unfortunately, this toy is pretty loud and not discreet at all. The vibrations are quite strong but not as deep as the Miracle Massager.

I’m not a fan of the detachable cord because it’s easy to mix it up with something else. If I can remove a cord, the toy should be rechargeable, which this isn’t. I don’t understand the point. This one is pretty long — upwards of three feet — but the adapter itself is overly large, clunky and annoying.

Annoying just about sums up the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. Just buy your Mini Miracle Massager and attachments separately.

CEN Sexpert

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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Symphony Massager

August 6th, 2010

Symphony massager

Symphony massager
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

This month’s (okay, last month’s, I guess) Sexpert toy from California Exotics is the Symphony Massager. It’s true to its name (massager) and discretely looks nothing like a sex toy at all. In fact, as I sit here gazing at it, I find it difficult to describe the type of toy it is. There’s a nod, to some high-end toys, like the Form 6 or even one of the Lelo toys, except the Symphony Massager isn’t dual-ended, and I have no desire whatsoever to insert it.

A few of the basics. This is a plastic toy. It has a velvety finish. It comes in lavender (what I have) and white. It measures 8″ from tip to tip, and you can insert a little under 4.5.” The widget varies: the ends are wider than the center, with the handle end being wider than the insertable end, which is ovular (not a perfect circle) and has a circumference of 4.75.” The thinnest part of the insertable portion has a circumference of 3.25.”

The vibrations are focused at the insertable. Oddly enough, there is a little dimple on the top of this end. I guess it could be used for clitoral stimulation, but I think it’s kind of useless because then the angle of the toy would make it curve away from your body. I prefer toys that mimic the curve of my pubic bone, I guess. The angle on this toy is really unique and quite high. If I set the toy on a flat surface so it rests on either tip, I can slip four fingers into the open area created by the angle (under the toy). That really has no significance, but I think it’s fun and such.

The Symphony Massager uses a single push button to operate. It sits inside another dimple, toward the center of the toy but on the handle end. It’s surrounded by silver, and it sticks up a lot. I say this because I like buttons that are easy to find, and this one is! My nails don’t get in the way. It’s not right next to another equally tiny button. I like it a lot.

When you press this button, you will cycle through several settings: low steady vibration, high steady vibration, short-short-long pulsation, short pulsation, and a weird back-and-forth sort of pulse that I am failing to describe well. If you’re paying attention, then you’ll notice that there is no “medium” setting. I constantly skip to the first pulsation setting because I want something stronger. It’s a force of habit that is hard to break and California Exotics might due better to just stick to what has worked thus far.

Because the Symphony Massager runs on 2AAAs the vibrations are buzzy and the pulsation lacks “oomph.” This is the kind of toy that mostly makes me tingle a little, but then I reach for something stronger, as I did. I cannot recall if I got off from this because it does have a broader surface, which I like externally. If I did, I wasn’t much impressed.

Now, I didn’t bring this anywhere near my internal organs. For one, it just doesn’t seem like an internal toy to me. Secondly, there is a ridiculous seam running through the plastic, all the way around. Needless to say, this isn’t anywhere close to waterproof, nor would I ever recommend sharing it without some sort of gamma-ray.. stuff. Either plastic piece of this toy seems to be melted together in two locations on the insertable part. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to melt seamlessly the whole way or if it just connects at those points but.. it’s weird. It seems cheap, and while many would not be able to feel it in use, it ‘s just not something I want inside me.’

It’s funny that the pieces would be so far apart because the battery pack is tight. I think CEN used all the recalled China shrink cream on this because wow, just wow! You have to turn the cap to the correct position to unlock it and pull it off. Be prepared to give a forceful yank and have your batteries fly in your face to fully remove it. Then you might chuckle because the is, indeed, a plastic O-ring in there. The same move in reverse replaces the cap.

My verdict, as you can see, is this is not the toy for me. Were the quality better, it’d be a decent, basic toy–inexpensive, potential versatile, easy to use and varied. Now, it just feels cheap.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Tuyo

January 18th, 2010

Tuyo

Tuyo
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I am a girl who loves pressure. Masturbation sessions that end with cramped fingers that can barely move are no strange in this house, sadly, and toys that are broad enough to press against my body with ease are rare. Small egg-style vibes don’t have a lot of room for my fingers (so they still cramp), traditional vibes aren’t broad, and it can be difficult to get quite the pressure I need from rabbits without detracting from internal stimulation. All of these reasons attracted me to Tuyo, a spherical massager that would certainly be broad enough and easy to hold (and press) for me. Mediocre reviews left me doubtful, but I finally took the plunge and purchased one for myself right before Christmas.

Tuyo is packaged in a sleek black box that is lined with pretty, purple satin material. It looks elegant sitting in the cushy material when the lid is open.

This vibrator measures 5″ x 5″ x 3.5″ and is made of hard plastic with a silicone band wrapping around the center, both in black. The band has some give and slight texture which can help in grasping Tuyo. There are thin silver borders on either side of the silicone band and also around the button on top that could be metal or plastic.

For the most part, these details do not create any crevices except around the button (which isn’t directly pressed to the body anyway). The button sits directly on top, whereas I press the bottom 1/3 against myself. The only mark on the bottom 1/3 is a printed logo that is not discernible by touch.

At first, I struggled with the battery compartment. The top portion of the Tuyo unscrews slightly to allow you to insert 3 AAA batteries. However, there aren’t any finger indentations that would make it easier to take off. When it comes to replacing it, there are also no indicators to line up the pieces, which would be helpful. The batteries sit pretty tightly in the compartment, but there is a ribbon that sits beneath them to assist in removal. Be careful of projectile batteries.

The round shape makes it incredibly easy to clean and, although it’s not waterproof, I washed it with soap and water without issue. There is no O-ring around the battery compartment but the unique cap seals well. The plastic could easily be sprayed with toy cleaner, and a wipe would work as well. The silicone band does pick up a bit of lint.

It only took me about 30 seconds to realize that Tuyo is exactly what I require in terms of shape and size. It’s definitely bigger around than any toys I have with its 3″ diameter; my fingers are not long enough to wrap all the way around. However, this works really well to stimulate the entire vulva, and I have plenty of room to grasp it without squishing my fingers. It’s incredibly easy to press against myself without causing pain that other shapes can cause and, if it switches position, I needn’t worry. It’s still round on every side. I quickly found myself moving my hips against the Tuyo and orgasming.

It’s also incredibly easy to use. The button is about the size of my fingertip and makes an audible click when I turn it out. There does seem to be some slight lag after initially turning it on, however. There are 3 levels of steady vibration that are pretty diffuse, although they are centered toward the bottom of the toy. These are followed by a slow pulsation, a faster pulsation, a pulsation like a fast heartbeat, a fast-fast-fast-fast-slow pulsation and a throbbing pulsation. The settings are all really neat, but I wouldn’t mind two buttons for back-and-forth options or even just a master power button because that’s eight settings to cycle through, and I find myself using the medium steady vibration most. The vibration is not super buzzy (it doesn’t tickle my hand), except on the highest level of steady vibration. It isn’t super deep either, but because of the awesome shape, I have to rely less on vibration to get off.

But my joy was overshadowed by something I could not ignore: the noise. Tuyo is easily the loudest toy I own. It beats for the Miracle Massager and Ideal, hands down. It sounds like a fucking chainsaw. There is no way in hell I can use it if someone else were in my apartment and people outside my bedroom window or wall could probably still hear it even after I pulled the covers over myself to block some of the noise. And all on 3 AAA batteries. This is simply unacceptable.

Especially because this would become my go to vibrator (in place of Laya Spot) if only the noise were not an issue. I love the shape, the vibrations feel great (and I am usually not a fan of AAA), it’s easy to use and hold, has a solid feel and a comforting weight. It’s also versatile and could be used for body massage. It could be rolled or easily pushed across the skin if that’s your thing. Even outside of its box, it doesn’t scream “vibrator” but.. and this is a big but, it’s so loud it’s just not practical to use.

The only thing I have left to say is this:

Big Teaze Toys, please make a Tuyo 2.0 that is quieter!

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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