And I want to get it all out. There’s so much to say.
I went to a party and met a good friend of a good friend. We hit it off. We talked for hours. It was fun. We barely slept, cuddled a little and talked some more. I was a little thrown off because I hadn’t expected to meet anyone or have a fantastic conversation or cuddle with anyone, but I went with it because I was drinking and you only live once, right? I guess it’s of note that I wasn’t immediately, undeniably attracted to this guy.
But we kept on talking through text and phone calls, which are especially fun and sexy. The attraction grew. We’ve been able to be comfortable and honest with one another, so whatever may be happening is off to a fantastic start.
But — and I have no idea how big of a “but” this is — he is way more into me than I am. He’s already asked me to be his girlfriend. I think, if given the opportunity, he’d say “I love you” a million times. I like him enough to see potential but I am not as sure about him as he is about me.. all the time. At times, I feel much more sure, which has led to what I think are mixed signals.
It’s weird for me. I’m always the one who feels more and more quickly. At this point, I’m usually having to tell myself that I can’t possible be in love. Stop it, Adriana. With him, I feel like I am trying to convince myself that I feel more than I do. I don’t know if I am trying to catch up or if I’m just trying to make it work, period. He’s sweet. He’d be loyal and respectful. He would be a fantastic partner. That I can see already, and if he likes me this much, I don’t have to be single anymore.
Is it the pull of a relationship that gets to me more than the pull of him? Is it flirting and teasing more than who’s on the other end? Am I just asking too damned many questions? (Hint: yes!)
I mean, what’s the problem? I met someone. He likes me. I like him enough to see where it goes. What the fuck is my problem?
