Bruce Jenner Might Be Trans And It’s None Of Your Business

February 2nd, 2015

Edit: this post was written before Caitlyn Jenner confirmed her transition.

I first heard rumors about Bruce Jenner possibly being transgender a few weeks ago. I didn’t give it any thought for a couple reasons:

  1. It’s Bruce Jenner, who cares?
  2. Even if I cared about him personally, what does his gender identity have to do with me?

Now that there’s a so-called sourced out there confirming that Bruce is transitioning, a lot more people are bound to pay attention. After reading a few comments on the Internet, I can rest assured that ignorant, bigoted and sexist idiots are definitely among those people — even though my first two points stand pretty firm for them as well as me!

I’m going to assume, and I may be wrong, but I’ll assume anyway.. That this person has been considering this for a while. Perhaps for their entire life. They may have always felt some amount of gender dysphoria. It may have reared its ugly head in ways that strained relationships, hurt careers and otherwise made life a living hell for the person living with it.

And I cannot imagine what I would do if I was so close to the limelight yet lived in a society that is, at best, ignorant about trans issues. At worst, they’re all bigots. The truth is somewhere in the middle, with some people being surprisingly open-minded while others are so closed-minded it makes me wonder how natural selection hasn’t wiped them out already!

Back to my point, which is all about how difficult it must be to be any sort of public figure and come out as trans. According to people, Bruce Jenner is being supported by family, but maybe that’s not true. Maybe their publicist just makes it seem that way because it’s better to provide a united front?

Perhaps there is no source and this is just the tabloids running amok with speculation. Who knows? Maybe Bruce Jenner just likes the long hair. Maybe it’s not a trans thing after all. Ultimately, it won’t affect me either way. And it won’t affect anyone who’s not Bruce, truly. But I’m kind of sick of the media using it as a sensationalist story just to get clicks.

And I’m sick of the people who take the bait!

 

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Categories: Everything Else

What I like in Reviews

September 8th, 2009

If you’ve read more than one of my own reviews, you’ve probably come to realize me for the Incredibly Picky Bitch™ that I am. Some people appreciate it because they know I don’t give a passing grade to mediocre products. Other probably wish I didn’t nitpick their reviews quite so much to which I could say “STFU” or “Take it like a man”. Or, maybe I could direct them to this post which explains what I find helpful in reviews.

Background/Extra Information

I like to read a little extra information about manufacturers. I recall reading a review on EdenFantasys where the reviewer mentioned that Sinvention, is based out of a gothic church in Canada. Interesting? Yep. I also like when reviewers discuss the credentials of book authors, especially on topics like BDSM. Furthermore, knowing that a toy is made especially for body part X because of reason Y is great.

What I don’t like? A two-page essay on the history of the company. The review is of a product, not a company or perosn.

Size Description

It can be easy to leave out size but this is pretty essential information. It can be in inches/CM measurements or described in terms of a universal object (I used a soda can for reference in my Oil of Love Review) or, preferably, both. This is also important when it comes to lingerie/wearable items. I view anything from American size 12 on up as plus size (mostly because of my own body issues, honestly) but not everyone does. Your definition of “curvy but not fat” and mine may differ greatly.

What I don’t like? Measuring every single aspect of the toy. I don’t need a spreadsheet. Nor do you need to add pictures with a ruler.

Necessary Experience

Sexuality and sex toys are somewhat sensitive subjects, and if you can’t be that vulnerable, you may want to reconsider whether you should really write a review. Similarly, if you can’t explain why you liked a toy or offer any specifics, it’s best to leave the review writing to someone else.

So what do I consider necessary experience? It’s helpful to know if you couldn’t insert a toy without lube or maybe not at all as was the case with the large Passion Wave vibrator. If something broke or caused irritation, it’s also good to note. Remember Uma? My god, was it hard to use! Whenever a toy uses unique controls, like the Vanity line did at the time, explaining your experience is helpful. When something frustrates you — or even when it makes more sense to you — others will find that helpful! If you find yourself consciously trying to arouse the reader, you’re doing it wrong.

What I don’t like? Poorly written “erotica”.

Whether or not it got you off

This can be tricky. It’s good to know if the toy did it for you (if it’s applicable), but it shouldn’t be the focus of your review. I’ve rated toys poorly even when they did get me off because of poor quality or just because it didn’t do it well. On the other hand, I’ve given good reviews to items that didn’t get me off but were well-made and enjoyable in general.

What I don’t like? Reviews that are exceptionally positive (hyper excited) and fail to give other, essential information because the author got off from the toy. And poorly written erotica.

Basic Information

If a review doesn’t include more information than a production description or teaser video, it could be more useful. It’s essential to let us know what the toy is intended for and if you used it otherwise (and that can be a great thing!). Colour, shape, scent, size (as previously mentioned), material (including texture, density, firmness, etc), and functions are all important. I can’t even name how many rabbit reviews I’ve read that didn’t specify what exactly the shaft did. Feel free to suggest alternative uses.

What I don’t like? Reviews that assume you’re familiar with the product.

Significant Packaging Information

I don’t care what you said to your mailman or how long you waited at the door. I suspect no reader really does, honestly. I’ve got 65 pages of reviews, and including this information in every room would take up reading and writing time that could be better spent elsewhere. There is more than enough to say to meet your word count while only talking about the product itself.

Similarly, I assume everything is discreetly packaged as is the norm and only need to know if that’s not the case. For example, some lingerie has shown up in less-than-discreet packages, and both California Exotics and Pipedream add their actual company name to the shipping label.  I do care if the individual product package was so poor that the toy fell out/spilled or, even worse, was damaged during shipping. It’s also worth noting when shitty companies shove everything they can into flimsy envelopes.

What I don’t like? The play-by-play of ordering and delivery.

Did you notice that I didn’t mention photos? I know we’re on the visual Internet now, and I truly try to take the best photographs that I possibly can. Yet, I find the written word to be the meat and potatoes of a review, as it were. And I think the right words can eliminate the need for visuals… even if some people disagree.

If you cover everything above, your review can really only be useful to the masses. Doing so and adding your own bit of flare, perhaps humour, will help make your reviews more memorable.

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Sex Toy Parties: Fun but Not Financially Feasible?

July 22nd, 2008

I love the idea of sex toy parties, they’re great avenues to loosen up and enjoy yourself, bond with friends, get answers to questions you were afraid to ask and explore sexuality.

The party I went to was pretty fun with some people I knew and some people I didn’t. The consultant knew more than I expected her to know about the products. For instance, she mentioned not storing jelly toys together because they could melt together and had an example of a toy which had been stored close to another one. While this was really helpful to sex toy beginners, and she even mentioned some things I didn’t know, more definitely could have been said about materials in terms of health and safety. Of course, how educational the party will be depends full on how educated the consultant is. Your party experience will definitely vary.

Of course, these parties are not all about fun and games. They’re about money and you will constantly feel the pressure to buy in the back of your mind. The more money you spend, the better prize your friend, the host, will earn and the more the consultant will pocket, like any at-home party sales scheme.

Also, like many of those companies, the prices supported by sex toy parties are simply outrageous. The markup is anywhere from 10% – 90% compared to the exact same products, which can be purchased online or in stores that also have a larger variety.

I also find these catalogs lacking in variety. Many of the toys are low-end, from no-name manufacturers. I’m not a die-hard brand lover by any means, but I do appreciate being able to see some of the brands with which I am familiar and also brands that I know are high-quality.

You won’t likely see some of the newer, quality toys in the catalogs pushed on you at sex toy parties. Fun Factory toys and VixSkin dildos won’t be found at a sex toy party. Rechargeable toys won’t have their own page, and BDSM toys won’t be the kind to stand the test of time. More parties are starting to realize the worth of high-quality materials like premium silicone, metal, or glass, but I don’t recall seeing any toy made of those items at the party I attended.

Even when parties do carry more high quality items, the prices for inferior products are not good for your wallet. An investment of that measure and you want to ensure you’re getting quality products, a good value. Sex toy parties, more often than not, do not provide this value.

But should we boycott the parties? Not at all. They’re fun and offer opportunities to learn and shop that may not be found elsewhere. But before signing a check, it’s advisable to surf around online to see if you’re really getting a bargain or if you’re being taken.

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Categories: Articles

All that’s needed is a little imagination

July 18th, 2008

Regina Lynn, columnist for Wired.com’s Sex Drive recently wrote an article entitled “Keeping the Fireworks Going from Afar” which touches on the sex technology that caters to or, rather, fails to cater to long distance couples. While I can’t agree that more technology couldn’t hurt, I think that if you’re experience any sort of boredom or strain in your relationship, you just ain’t doing it right.

Maybe I’m spoiled by the internet and phone as a communication medium between as I simply love the linguistics that go with it. The opportunity to ponder words, to careful hone the creation that will be your response to your lover while someone who knows you perfectly -yourself! – tickles your body pink.

I’ll admit, during cybersex I have more than once logged onto Thesaurus.com, expanding my vocabulary as I looked for scintillating words to turn on both my partner and myself.

I love having the opportunity to consider someone’s word, to draw a picture with them in my mind, a picture devoid of the unpleasant accidents and awkward moments physical sex brings with it. A picture hand-tailored to my fantasies.

The ends of which is both physically and emotionally satisfying, if done right. I have known what it is to make love with words, to know someone’s thoughts and feelings about sex, about me, not just their thoughts of my body and the feeling of their skin.

The sheer excitement to know that I can send someone into a frenzied state of arousal based only on the words I type (the words I think) or the words I moan breathily into the telephone is overwhelming, an aphrodisiac in its own right.

There are no physical limits in this realm. If you let yourself succumb to it, you can go to places you’d never otherwise experience. There is no pressure besides the motivation to excite your partner – and yourself – as much as humanly possible by bringing forth eloquent words heavily laden with sexual promise. Multiple orgasms are more than achievable here and every body looks, smells and feels delicious.

No, the only limit is your imagination.

And if you find your communication becomes tedious and boring even distant, then I suggest not that you pick up a remote-enabled vibrator. No, what you need is to pick up a book, see a play, attend a concert or otherwise submerge yourself in the arts. Rekindle the flame and passion that is your creativity because that, my friends, will far outlive any vibrator, dildo or Weighted Companion Cube.

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