Spring and Summer 2022 Media Recommendations

July 31st, 2022

You know how I started doing monthly media recommendations and when it became quarterly, and now it’s been more than six damn months since I posted any recs? Well, now you do! Anyway, here’s a post chock-full of links to awesome videos, podcasts, and books about sex!

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I’ve already sung praises for Netflix’s How to Build a Sex Room on Twitter. And I’m not the only one. It’s the sex-positive home renovation show I didn’t know I needed (and I’ll soon be posting a lengthy post inspired by it)!

Another great watch is Episode 1 of the series The Mysteries of X and Y by Scientific American: A Question of Sex. I’m not sure if there will actually be a second episode, but this is a good look at the biological complexities of sex.

Listen

I not only  komcaught up with some of the podcasts I know about but decided to look for some fresh meat. One of those shows is Practice Outside the Line, a podcast where Heather, founder of the Sexual Health Alliance, talks to people who are in the business-educators, researchers, therapists and more. I especially loved this episode featuring Nicoletta Heidegger, who we know and love from Sluts & Scholars!

99PI played clips from Remembering Stonewall in an episode last month that you can check out if you’re interested in LGBTQ+ rights and history. You might consider pairing it with this episode of Outward, featuring Hugh Ryan who discusses his book and the connections between prison and queer culture, including Stonewall.

I started watching Will & Grace for the very first time after hearing Malcolm Gladwell discuss how groundbreaking and carefully crafted it was, which contributed to its popularity. The show itself is dated, of course, but it’s a part of history and seeing how much society has changed since 1998 shows how much progress we’ve made.

I’m going to be honest when I say that I have zero idea how I came across the Sexology by Dr. Moali podcast. But I’m glad because the episode featuring Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz is such a practical, helpful, and even hopeful podcast about having better sex,

I’ve been waiting anxiously for Beyond Fear: The Sex Crimes Podcast to return. It’s heavy but important work, and I am so grateful to Alissa and Alexa for creating this podcast. The episodes about invisible survivors of sex crimes and the ideal victim are so very important. I suspect that the themes of racism and poor treatment of survivors will continue this season.

Much earlier this year, Unladylike tackled intimacy coordinators and Hollywood’s resistance to employing them. More recently, Cristen made an episode about the overturning of Roe versus Wade, in which she delves into who the infamous Dobbs in “Dobbs v Jackson” is.

For something completely different, you might want to tune into the episode of Behind the Bastards about the father of gynecology and his unconscionable medical experimentation on Black women.

Read

I’ve been utilizing the university library to my advantage, and that includes several books about sex, even though I haven’t read all of them. I am fairly positive that I picked up Magnificent Sex after listening to the Dr. Kleinpatz podcast above. Peggy and her team surveyed people about what makes sex good and used it to provide some helpful information.

I finally got around to reading Lux Alptraum’s Faking It: The Lies Women Tell about Sex–And the Truths They Reveal. It was such a deeper dive into whether and when women are believed and its impact on when and how they lie. I wasn’t expecting that, but it definitely gave me food for thought.

Finally, I recently finished Polysecure by Jessica Fern and recommended it to my therapist. Now, I’m recommending it to my readers! The book is all about attachment and trauma as it applies to poly relationships, but I found it infinitely useful as someone who is single and hasn’t been in a poly situation. For whatever reason, I struggled to apply attachment theory to myself before reading this book. Sometimes things just click, I guess! Anyway, the book is a good intro to attachment theory even if you’re not familiar, and then Jessica launches into some practical advice. She also wrote a workbook you can pair with it. 

Those are my media recommendations for the first half (and some change) for 2022. There’s a lot of good stuff in here, whether you simply want to learn more, improve your relationship, or become a better practitioner!

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Spring 2021 Sexuality Media Recommendations

June 17th, 2021

It’s almost summer, which means I better get a move on if I want to post a list of recommendations for podcasts, books, and videos about sex if I want to do it while it’s still spring. Because I’ve moved to a seasonal-ish schedule, this list is long. But that means there’s plenty to listen to during your commutes, doctor-office-waits, and long walks through the cemetery!

I didn’t read many books about sex, so my recommendations are more general. Similarly, I didn’t watch any standout video content about sex, so I’ve focused on podcasts, instead. However, you’ll definitely find plenty of them listed below!

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I’m going to post my review of Erato: Flash Fiction shortly. In the meantime, you don’t want to miss this collection of skillfully written and inclusive erotic shorts.

It’s not about sex but I really loved reading My Favorite Thing Is Monsters for class and can’t wait for the second. Part of the reason the book speaks to me is the way it addresses sexism and sex work. If you like graphic novels that are literature, horror, and unique art, this is a must-read.

Another non-sex recommendation is Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. This book really got me thinking about how my brain works and how I can help–or hinder–it in the process.

Listen

I’ve been wanting to read Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen for a while. In this interview on Out in the Bay, she reads excerpts from her book, offers new ways to understand sexuality, and discusses moving from science journalism to a book inspire by her own sexuality.

I’d never heard of Man Up before I came across this episode about healthy porn habits. The hosts, who are average guys and not necessarily sexperts, feminists, or super “woke,” discuss healthy ways to use porn in such an honest way.

Researcher Justin Lehmiller invited Dr. Michael Moreno on his podcast in an episode about talking to your doctor about sex. It’s such an important issue because sex impacts our physical and mental health. Yet, doctors don’t always receive a lot of sex education or may avoid these subjects. Advice like that in this podcast is important for patients to advocate for themselves.

Although it’s an older episode, Unladylike re-aired How to Free the Vibrator, a discussion with Polly from Unbound Babes. It dives into creating a feminist, friendly sex store that people aren’t ashamed to shop at or talk about. It’s something that I can sometimes–but shouldn’t–take for granted.

If you’re into learning, then you might like This Podcast Will Kill You. The topics span a broad range, so I only tune in now and then. Of course, I couldn’t resist an episode about HPV. In fact, this episode is one of the most educational and straightforward information sources I’ve ever encountered when it comes to HPV. And I’ve been diagnosed with it. Twice.

While I’m not normally into astrology, this discussion between Nicole and Danny Santos on Sluts and Scholars was an interesting listen that made me appreciate its meaning to people a bit more.

Sex educator Jennifer Litner joins Nicole on Sluts and Scholars to discuss how parents can give proper sex education, pleasure’s role in our lives, and desire discrepancies in long-term relationships.

In an honest and casual discussion, Kitty Stryker and Sunny Megatron discuss the definition of manipulation and the various forms it takes, including those that aren’t inherently negative.

If you haven’t heard about all the censorship of sex happening on social media, this American Sex episode will blow your mind.

Anyone who has wanted to try rope bondage but finds it intimidating will love this interview with Midori American Sex. She tackles the issue in such a no-nonsense way that makes it super accessible while showinga how simplicity can still be powerful and creative.

Sunny absolutely smashed it in her breakdown of the history of sex and porn censorship on the Internet. She discusses how it has been an issue for literal decades, long before SESTA/FOSTA, and how stars, creators, and websites have dealt with increasing restrictions. This episode is so ridiculously eye-opening!

Catie Osborn relates how having ADHD impacts her sex life in an episode of American sex that’s just as helpful for those with ADHD as it is their partners.. and potentially everyone else!

I’ve been looking forward to reading Dr. Ina Park’s book about the science and history of STIs since I first heard of it. Her interview with Tristan Taormino only made me want to read it more (I’m sure I’ll eventually write a review about it)!

Academic and feminist Dr. Heather Berg literally wrote the book about porn as work, and she talks all about it with Tristan Taormino.

I love when someone just pulls back the curtain to reveal fuckery that’s been going on under our noses, and that’s precisely what Kaytlin Bailey when she appeared on Sex Out Loud Radio to discuss the history of sex work. I’m looking forward to checking out more of her work!

I hadn’t heard of Richelle Frabotta before stumbling on this podcast from Miami University, but I love her take on sex education so much that I followed her on Twitter, listened to other podcasts, and am seriously considering receiving training through the Sexual Training Institute, at which she is an instructor.

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Fall 2020 Media Recommendations

October 30th, 2020

I’ve skipped right from spring to autumn, and I hope you all won’t mind! It’s been busy for reasons that I really should blog about! With that, I’ll leave you with some media recommendations that will keep you busy!

A content warning: the last several podcast recommendations mention sexual assault and abortion. I’ll mention the content warning again so you can skip to the next section!

Listen

I found the episode of American Sex with Catie Osborn about ADHD and sex to be interesting. It touched on some science and revealed how much more we have to discover. I only wish she had backed up some of her statements with sources.

Sunny and Ken also interviewed Ana Algos about being a BDSM switch,  teaching kink online, safety, and how COVID has made education more accessible to those people who weren’t privileged enough to participate in such things before.

There are several of Sluts, and Scholars episodes that were great listens for me! First up, Andre Shakti discusses wrestling fetishes, learning shame about sexual interests, and non-intimidating ways you can open up to a partner about sex. I also recommend you tune into the episode with Zoe Ligon, owner of Spectrum Boutique, who discusses her book about sex toys, sex education, and providing toys to shoppers during the pandemic.

I couldn’t write a post without mention Tristan Taormino’s podcast Sex Out Loud Radio, either. Tristan invited Dr. Nan Wise on her show to discuss her interest in neuroscience and sex, which is right up my alley and should be up yours, too!

Content warning: sexual assault and abortion mentioned below

I also LOVED Tristan’s talk with Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan about their work on campus sexual assault. It’s the sort of research that I find fascinating, and they ask some tough but necessary questions.

I couldn’t believe how unethical and common pregnancy crisis centers are when I listened to Unladylike’s episode on the topic. The facts and firsthand knowledge shared will blow your mind in the worst possible way, but it’s absolutely worth a listen.

Finally, I want to recommend an entire podcast. Beyond Fear: The Sex Crimes Podcast by Alexa Sardina and Alissa Ackerman is full of the science I love and the compassion we need around the topic of sexual assault. I first heard Alissa on Unladylike in an episode about the American prison system but knew I needed to listen to her podcast with Alexa to understand more about sexual assault. Both women are researchers who have worked with perpetrators and survivors of sexual assault and are survivors themselves, and the knowledge they provide in this podcast is astounding. Every episode has been eye-opening; most have been difficult. I also appreciate what a good job they do with content warnings at the top of each episode. If you can handle it, it’s one of the most important podcasts I’ve ever listened to.

Watch

I came upon these two talks separately, so while they both deal with gender, it’s a coincidence.

In her Ted Talk, Karissa Sanbonmatsu discusses the search for a biological basis for gender and, more specifically, how epigenetics impacts gender. as she attempts to answer the question, “What does it mean to be a woman?” Epigenetics and the basis of gender are both fascinating on their own, but it’s genius to consider them together. Science can only take us so far, however, and the compassionate undertones in Karissa’s speech remind the listener that women don’t exist in vacuums. We’re part of society, which also gives meaning to being a woman.

To continue the theme, Emily Quinn starts her Ted Talk with “I have a vagina.” But she examines how we place people into boxes labeled “man” and “woman” and what it means to be intersex. Emily discusses natural human variation and the shortcomings of the sex/gender binary, and the harm it does to people.

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I’ve been busy reading other things but was so excited that my library picked up Kate Lister‘s A Curious History of Sex, which was released in February. I’m always impressed when a book surprises me with knowledge, and this one did!  It was funny and quick, and I hope to make time to review it shortly. If I don’t get around to it, I still recommend it!

One of the things about doing a semi-quarterly version of these posts is that I don’t feel the need to pad the posts. I really have a chance to consume some quality media, which doesn’t just make for good recommendations; it also keeps me entertained and informed. I hope these posts do the same for you, and if you think there’s something I ought to recommend or simply enjoy myself, please let me know in the comments!

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March 2020 Media Recommendations

April 1st, 2020

Welp, I am a fair bit late with this post. I’ve thought about finishing it every day for the last week, but I was never at my laptop when the thought struck. I guess I was too busy enjoying this media to write about it. Oops.

Without further ado..

Listen

Actress Jameela Jamil hosts two episodes of a podcast called The New Age of Consent wherein she discusses the nuances of consent. It’s pretty quick and features some awesome guests.

I’ve spent much of the last week binging Watts Your Safeword. I recently caught an episode of Sexplanations featuring co-host Amp, and while I just do not enjoy Dr. Lindsey as a host, I knew I had to get some more of Amp. Watts Your Safeword is relatively new, so there aren’t that many posts. Amp is joined on air with his daddy Mr. Kristofer, and the two discuss their work in porn as well as kink, among other topics. It’s been a while since I listened to a podcast simply because I enjoy the banter, but I do with this one. Amp is nerdy and punny, and I often find myself laughing at his antics. Several of the episodes have been kinky versions of games, including Kinky Shark Tank. They also tackle more serious and thoughtful topics, but there’s always a joke or pun to be found. I see that a new episode has been posted since I finished the archive, so I need to catch up!

Sunny takes on the issue of COVID-19 in this episode of American Sex featuring Kate Loree. I especially appreciate the comments about the things we all can do to improve our state of minds when the world is in its current state.

Read

I’m going to recommend a few non-sexy books this month. The last couple that I read about sex fell a bit flat for me.

First up is If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating by Alan Alda. The title is ridiculously long, but the book is not, and I particularly enjoyed hearing Alda narrate his own book. He has such a great voice for it! His ideas really made me think about communication and especially empathy, and I gained so much respect for how he interacts with others.

Samantha Allen’s Real Queer America: LGBT Stories from Red States is a multi-stop road trip to some of the cities that offered the most formative experiences in the former Mormon’s life. Again, I listened to this one and Allen read her own words. Her voice was so vulnerable at times as she spoke about the changing landscape for queer and trans people like herself, even in some traditionally-conservative locations. It simultaneously gave me pause and hope.

Finally, For Small Creatures Such as We: Rituals for Finding Meaning in Our Unlikely World is the new book from Sasha Sagan, daughter of carl. I haven’t finished it, but it’s so incredibly smart and makes me feel connected to a world that’s larger than I am. Like Sasha, I am not religious, but she has thought more conscientiously about the meaning of ritual in our lives. I think many of us could benefit from doing the same, and I cannot complain about feeling closer to Carl through his daughter’s words.

Watch

I also don’t have any videos related to sex to watch

I forgot about this adorable animated documentary about the clitoris. It’s in French, but there are subtitles!

A couple other things struck me this month:

Are y’all familiar with PlutoTV? It’s apparently not new, but I’ve only heard of it in the last couple weeks. Oddly, it was mentioned in several places. I’ve been using it to watch Leverage, which I recommend but like slightly less than I did when it first aired.

This video that illustrates the capabilities of deep fakes just blows my mind.

Mark Rober, who you might know for his exploding package video, demonstrates how germs spread in a more recent video. It’s a good reminder in the time of COVID-19.

DJ Tom Nash discusses adaptability and self-importance among other important ideas in a TED talk that’s less than 10 minutes along and is funny.

So, folks, I clearly need to read and watch more sexy content. Got any recommendations for me? Sound off in the comments!

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December 2019 Media Recommendations + 2019 Wrapup

December 31st, 2019

This month’s new media recommendations are all podcasts; although, there is some other media types to check out in my 2019 wrapup.

Dr. Lehmiller has made the rounds discussing his survey about sexual fantasies, but his spot on NPR’s What We Do was one of the best interviews about it, no doubt in part to the skilled host.

Another NPR podcast, Planet Money, ventured into the billion-dollar sperm bank industry.

Check out this episode of Sex Out Loud featuring Tina Horn, who discusses making comics about sexual freedom (in a way that I hope isn’t a bad omen) Then, check out SFSX.

Finally, in this episode of Speaking Out Loud, the Pleasure Mechanics tackle the myth of the hymen.

2019 Wrapup

I also wanted to highlight some of the media I consumed over 2019 that have stayed with me. The best books have already been linked in my “Best of 2019” post, so this focuses on podcasts and video content.

In one of the last episodest56 of the apparently-defunct Science of Sex podcast, Joe and Dr. Zhana interviewed PhD candidate Christina Parreira who actually worked in a brothel.

Science Vs broke down whether the fertility cliff is real.

Speaking of Lehmiller, he interviewed Ari Tuckman about his book ADHD After Dark. They discuss the very real ways ADHD can play out in sex and relationships.

Outward’s episode about bi culture has stuck with me in subtle ways, even if I don’t remember any particular quotes.

Another episode from Science Vs that was an amazing and emotional listen is The Abortion Underground.

I love how Sex Ed School teaches kids about sex in realistic, age-appropriate, and fun ways. This would never fly in the US, which is so frustrating, but perhaps some educators will find these videos helpful.

Unladylike dove into the rise (and fall) of lesbian bars around the world.

I grew so much respect for Amber Heard when she was on Sluts & Scholars.

I’m so glad that I received an email about Something Positive for Positive People. Courtney tackles the issue of herpes in a way that I can only hope to emulate. I particularly recommend episode 92.

You all know how much I love learning about the science of sex, so my mind was blown when I heard Nicole Krause talk about research I’d never heard of on American Sex.

The 8-part podcast Sold In America is about selling sex is amazing.

And if you prefer visual content, Philosophy Tube’s episode about sex work was highly-regarded and for good reason!

Although not about sex, I really enjoyed the episode of Freakonomics featuring Geena Davis, who talked about Hollywood’s princess problem.

I’d also like to recommend the audiobooks of the LOTR series as narrated by Ron Inglis. They were so good!

If you click no other links, you absolutely must check out the free series Mercy Mistress on YouTube. Based on the memoirs by Mistress Yin, it’s a lovely, erotic, and more realistic take on BDSM than we’re used to.

Finally, my readers should check out the nerdiness that is this American Sex podcast with erotica writer and tabletop gamer Shanna Germain.

 

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October 2019 Media Recommendations

October 31st, 2019

I don’t have very many media recommendations because I finished up a bunch of books for review that I have previously mentioned. I was also working on hobby reading before my Kindle Unlimited subscription expired. Sadly, I started a handful of podcasts that just didn’t do it for me.

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Although it’s not entirely related to sex, Emily Nagoski’s newest book, Burnout, expands on upon ideas that Nagoski first introduced in her book about female desire, Come As You Are. I recommend that book more than any other, and it pretty much changed my life. Burnout is aimed specifically at women and offers concrete suggestions to deal with stress and the burnout is can cause.

Another non-sex read is The Fellowship of the Ring, which I enjoyed for the first time as an audiobook. The narration by Rob Inglis was top-notch, and I am actually going to sign up for the free trial of Audible to finish the other two titles.

Watch

In this episode of Sexplanations, Dr. Doe tests various methods of cleaning sex toys. It’s obviously sponsored, but I want to see more content like this.

Listen

There were a couple of good episodes of Sluts and Scholars, but I especially liked the interview with Dr. Ari Tuckman who recently wrote a book about ADHD and sex/relationships. Their conversation with Cameron Glover about people of color in sex ed was also good.

Nicoletta from S&S was on Sex Out Loud. She discussed her work as a therapist and dealing with nonoffending pedophiles.

Tristan also did a great interview with physician’s assistant Kerin Berger about LGBTQ health and STIs.

After I catch up, I hope to get back to more sex-oriented media. If you have any suggestions or want me to check something out, let me know in the comments!

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June 2019 Media Recommendations

July 1st, 2019

June flew right past in a flurry of red tape, phone calls, and health concerns, so this post is later than it typically would be. However, this gave me a chance to binge a few podcasts and watch a few episodes so I can recommend more to my readers!

Listen

I was enthralled with the very first episode of Unladylike that I listened to once I came across it.  Cristen and Caroline, who formerly hosted Stuff Mom Never Told You, have been working on their podcast that tackles a variety of issues from a feminist POV since early last year. They’re all about smashing the patriarchy and encouraging women to do whatever the hell they want. It’s not a podcast I’d listen to every episode of, but I haven’t regretted any I’ve listened to. Of note are episodes titled How to Get a Rape Kit and How to Find a Lesbian Bar.

Note that none of these episodes are “how-tos.’ The naming mechanic is annoying.

The episode of Sex Out Loud with Yin Q introduced me to Mercy Mistress on Youtube but also her other projects including Red Canary, a sex worker organization that focuses on Chinese migrants who work at massage parlors. Yin Q describes to Tristan how selling sex work under the guise of licensed massage is actually a felony and describes the danger of being detained by ICE.

Just recently, Sluts and Scholars was removed from iTunes podcast list, and Shameless Sex had their IG account removed. I made a point to listen to both.

S&S had two great episodes with Amber Heard, with whom I was only really familiar because of her marriage to Johnny Depp. I loved learning more about her. Amber seems to be a strong, feminist who is very aware of her privilege.

I tuned in to the bonus Shameless Sex episode title Sex For Curvy Folks With Laura Delarato because I only had a little time. Laura discusses body positivity and practical sex advice for anyone who is curvy or having sex with a curvy partner.

Honestly, I listened to most of these tonight because I’ve been obsessively listening to Hello From the Magic Tavern for the last three weeks or so. It’s a nerdy, improv podcast that has successfully distracted me from the current stress of my life.

Watch

The Cut presents Sex Probz, a web series featuring sex educators Dirty Lola and Francisco who help people improve their sex lives. If you ever wanted to see someone’s sex life get a makeover, here you go! The pair provide simple solutions to issues such as long-distance relationships, having sex with a disability, exploring kink, and reclaiming your sexuality after having kids. Although the episodes are too short to go super in-depth, viewers can implement these practical changes in their own lives.

Samantha Bee’s Sex Ed for Senators is a hilarious, cutting, and enraging look at the misconceptions some politicians have about pregnancy and abortion. It’s probably old news for many of my readers but still entertaining.

I discovered Mercy Mistress when creator Yin Q was on Sex Out Loud. It’s a sexy series on YouTube. Each episode is short (under 4 minutes) and steamy without sacrificing reality (a huge criticism of Bonding on Netflix) as it takes a look at various aspects of a professional Domme. The music and visuals are both so well done. I love seeing kinky POC getting screen time! There are also bonus videos that introduce viewers to the different tools used.

Read

I focused on reading things unrelated to sex during the month of June, namely A People’s History of the United States and Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War, both of which I recommend. I also read a few comics/graphic novels. After thoroughly enjoying Good Omens on Amazon, I picked up the graphic novel adaptation of American Gods.

I also enjoyed the first two volumes of Man-Eater, a story about how cis girls who reach the age of menstruation become werecats that eat people. It highlights the mistrust and mistreatment of women in society. However, right around the time I discovered this series, author Chelsea Cain backed herself into a corner in response to critique that the comic ignores trans people. She’s since deleted her Twitter account and the future of Man-Eaters is unknown. I think the premise is interesting but agree that the comic is limited because Cain’s white feminism isn’t inclusive or intersectional. The experimental format also leaves each book feeling a little light. Perhaps we’ll see some less problematic feminist comics in the future.

I’m still reading A People’s History, so sex may take a backseat, but I welcome any of your suggestions.

What media did you consume related to sex last month?

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