Why Are You Here? Or How People Find Themselves on a Sex Blog!

August 22nd, 2024

When I first wrote this post (back in 2010!), there was a bit of conversation on Twitter about searches that led to bloggers’ sites. I only had a handful, and most of them were pretty straightforward:

  • lockable sextoy case
  • make me cum porn
  • passion wave
  • silicone lube for sex at Walmart
  • vibrating rock chick g-spot and clitoral vibrator

Sex toy case is pretty popular overall; it was the most popular search term last month. Probably because I reviewed this locking sex toy case and also this toy box by Devine.

I’m not sure if people are interested in the make me cum clit sensitizer or if they’re demanding that Google sends them to porn that guarantees an orgasm. But I can sum up the product pretty quickly: don’t buy it. 😉 A lot of folks seem to think I know how to make the clitoris more sensitive (some products work, but I wish I could do that, too!)

On the other hand, some searchers were clearly interested in the Passion Wave and Rock Chick. There’s also more than one search for tentacle sex toys and tentacle sex stories – probably because of a review I did for Five Minute Erotica. The Icicles #52 and Octopussy dildo also fill this, er, niche. 

As of August 2024, however, things have changed a bit. For example, red white and blue dildo is one of my top searches. I’m not sure if people are feeling particularly patriotic, perhaps in anticipation (hope y’all enjoy my alliteration!) of Labor Day. Or maybe they want something to remind them of the simpler times of eating popsicles as a child. Either way, they wound up at this post about my favorite red, white, and blue sex toys. Alas, none of them are all three. In fact, the only red, white and blue dildo I can think of has been discontinued, so if you have suggestions, leave a comment!

I can help with those who are searching for VixSkin dildos, however. I’ve tried Spur and Tex, both of which were very nice (I hate that I read that in Borat voice). I think Slim will be lovely in some specific situations, but it wasn’t my ideal dildo.

Let’s continue, shall we? Someone is still searching for the long-discontinued Sqweel for some ungodly reason. Thankfully, the company no longer makes it so people don’t have to submit themselves to the same disappointment and discomfort I experienced. If you’re looking for a moving clitoral stimulator, I am a fan of Lelo’s Ora series.

As we wrap up, the people searching for tit clamps got plenty of information from my nipple clamp comparison post.

Others have looked for Lovehoney lingerie, and I’ve got some older reviews, but I was mostly less-than-enthused by them.

The final term I’m going to mention is mystery vibe, which may refer to the company that makes the Crescendo.

I think it’s interesting that none of these search terms is clearly looking for a review or information. I assume most of them intend to go specifically to a product page to make a purchase, yet my site comes up instead. That’s especially true for someone looking for silicone lube at Walmart (I recommend Uber Lube, though; just make sure it’s compatible with your sex toys). It seems that, even with the addition of AI, there’s still plenty of room for Google to improve.

Of course, no matter how you got here, I’m glad you are!

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