Last night I saw a post by Essin’ Em in which she discussed a post by Sinclair Sexsmith on the subject of “femme invisibility.” My long-story-short understanding is that femmes are frequently assumed by folks straight and queer alike to be straight based on looks. There’s a lot of judgment that can deal someone quite the mental or emotional blog. I sympathized by Essin’ Em’s account and the countless comments on Sinclair’s post and chastised myself for being guilty of treating people similarly in the past (hey, I’m only human). I had to sign off before finishing them because I should have headed to bed hours before.
Now, I’m not lesbian and, even if I were, probably wouldn’t fall into either category but these comments all got me thinking and think is what I did as I lay in bed for over an hour, still not sleeping. And the thought that struck my was “does the internet help?” I thought of e-mailing Essin’ Em but decided just to blog about it.
Does the internet help reduce this invisibility? Does it allow femmes to congregate, to boost each other’s esteem or just to hear a sympathetic voice? Does it help by allowing issues like these to be discussed? To point out to people who may be participating in this offensive and hurtful behaviour (and who may not even know it), why it’s offensive or hurtful? To pass along helpful hints about how to react/deal when someone does treat a femme as invisible? Does it help because the people you meat judge less based on looks? And, if you meed them face to face, are they more accepting because you knew each other online? Does it help point people in the direction of people, places or groups who do not behave in such a manner? Do any potential lessons actually go farther than the screen?
