I got tested the other day, for a couple of STDs. It was my first time; although, in hindsight, it shouldn’t have been. I called up the local Planned Parenthood and scheduled myself an appointment for testing and a Pap smear as my last was long overdue. PP is pretty well know; although, I’d never been to one of their clinics before. My last few paps and my HPV issues were taken care of at military hospitals and while I still have that option, I’ve let my military ID expire because of the impending divorce and I simply hate the medical setup in this city. I would rather die than have to deal with it. No exaggeration.
So I headed in to my 4 o’clock appointment, signed in and watched The People’s Court of something for over and hour while I waited. The room was small, fall and less impressive than I am used to. Even though the facility itself could have used some homey touches, everyone I talked with was incredibly friendly and professional. I went through the usual questions (are you being abused? do you check for breast lumps?) as well as some new procedures (the tech stabbed me in finger to test for iron and I peed in a cup immediately, even when they forgot I wanted testing). I guess they probably have the routine down to an art but some of the things just seemed a bit unnecessary.
When I did remind the tech that I wanted testing, nothing rude was said. No scathing glares or uncomfortable silence like I’ve read in so many other accounts.
I would have liked a proper gown, though. All I got was the flimsy paper sheet but the actual pap and chest test was over and done with soon enough that it doesn’t much matter. Interestingly enough, this is the first pap I’ve had since my G-spot awakened and I could definitely feel the speculum pressing against my G-spot and I was worried about squirting all over the nurse practitioner–but I didn’t!
It’s always frustrating when you wait over an hour for an appointment which takes less than 30 minutes but I didn’t have to wait in between the prep and actual pap, which I appreciate. My experience was ultimately unremarkable.
