The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys Review + Giveaway

October 16th, 2013

The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toy

The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toy
$14.95 from Amazon

It’s interesting that I’ve read Violet Blue’s blog on and off for years without reading anything of hers in print (well, I did read books that she’s edited). Now, I can add that to my to-done list, which is my version of a bucket list — only I add things that I’ve already done. The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys is intended to be the book about sex toys, the Bible of sex toys. I’m not quite sure that I’d swear an oath on this book, but I’d probably recommend it to most people.

If you’re not familiar with the author, her work or her expertise in the field, the forward by Charlie Glickman talks about her experience working for Good Vibes. You can also check out her blog here. Charlie, who has asides through the book, co-wrote the Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, which I really liked. Both the forward and the content of the book really dive right into the subject. It’s a no-nonsense approach that could maybe be a little more “inviting” by giving some stats about how many people enjoy sex toys of something of that nature. If you’re curious but not quite adventurous, you’ll get the gist that sex toys are fun, but this book might not be as reassuring as you’d like.

This doesn’t mean that the book isn’t useful, however. On the whole, the things I had problems with were very specific and probably only bothersome to me because I do know as much as I do about sex toys. The gen– doesn’t mention not to use silicone The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys was just fine. Most people would be just fine if they followed the advice that I have to nitpick, and many people wouldn’t even notice what seemed like errors to me. You want examples? Okay!

Cons

  • Violent mentions water-based lube as the most common (true) but only discussed silicone-based lube as an aside. I saw no mention of not using it with silicone toys.
  • In the first chapter, which contains information about cleaning toys, Violet recommends antibacterial soap but doesn’t mention that soaps containing triclosan must remain on an item for 2 minutes to be effective
  • She also says that no clear silicone exists. While translucent toys typically are made of jelly/rubber/PVC, Jollies dildo are somewhat translucent.
  • Although she mentions wooden dildos, there was no mention given to any of them or brands like NobEssence. Um, what?
  • While she mentions vaginal balls, I don’t recall a specific naming of any brand or recommends about safety; i.e. don’t use disgusting balls with string connectors. Eww.
  • There’s no mention of the Liberator Throe, which I haven’t reviewed on this blog but still remains one of the most coveted items in my collection.
  • Violet spends a bit of time on camming as part of cybersex. I guess I don’t personally find this to be toy-y in my mind. Anyway, she talks about how webcams basically suck and that you have to buy them, ignoring the fact that almost all computers are equipped with a cam, and many phones have front-facing cameras. She then goes on to give a very specific HTML code about refreshing your website when showing your streaming cam but doesn’t say how to do that in the first place. Given the lack of relevant and timeliness, this entire section is unnecessary.

I did find it curious that every.single.time Violet mentioned a website or brand that I was not familiar with, the website no longer existed. This was the case with Luv Seat and Clear Ecstasy. The latter is a glass dildo maker and while I can find items from the company on retailers, they’re unimpressive and not what she was talking about. Similarly, Violet mentions a programmable vibrator by Je Joue, which I believe to be the predecessor to Sasi, which the company no longer makes. A little fact-checking would have gone a long way. This is especially true when you consider that this is the second version, which means it should specifically correct those errors.

I didn’t hate the book, however. It’s just much better suited to someone who couldn’t have written it. In fact, I found that there was very little information that isn’t freely available online, some of it even on Of Sex and Love.

Pros

  • Violet includes a section about risks of spreading diseases and infections through sharing sex toys, anal/oral and penetrative sex in the very last chapter. This might be the most useful representation I’ve yet seen of
  • The book is neither homophobic nor heteronormative. With general references to partners, gay and straight people alike will find it suitable for them.
  • The information about sex machines was definitely more than I knew before picking up this book — er, the PDF version, that is.
  • The same goes for USB toys, some of which you can actually have a partner control from their own computer. I had no idea about this before.
  • The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys walks you through the basics of toys, bringing them up to partners and a bit of anatomy to
  • Of course, you can skip any chapter and go right where you need to be. Sol while I might bitch about something, I don’t need to read it.
  • At just shy of 150 pages and is an easy read, you can finish the full thing in less than 2 hours!

So, if that’s piqued your interest at all, you can buy the book on Amazon.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

Best Women’s Erotica 2009

April 18th, 2010

Best Women's Erotica Book - 2009

Best Women's Erotica Book - 2009
$19.99 from Amazon

Okay, so I may be a year late but I am no hardcore erotica collector. I mean, I’ve enjoyed a story here and there, but I usually opt for a toy over a book. Still, it’s nice to switch things up a bit and that’s exactly what I did when I requested Best Women’s Erotica 2009 to review. Not only does it not vibrate, but it’s in a different series than any I’ve read before. ‘

This volume has a hot cover. It’s not entirely explicit, but it just draws me in. A dark-haired, fair-skinned woman lies on the floor in the corner with a fishnetted leg against either wall. At first glance, she appeared to be wearing ballet slippers, but they were, in fact, heels. The deep red of the wall is just a sensual colour.

The first few pages contain an introduction by editor Violet Blue. Even her introduction to the content of this book is a somewhat erotic story about mythological Persephone. This leads to an absolutely enthralling depiction of Peter Pan’s Tigerlily and her sexual frustrations. Although I do not particularly remember Tigerlily, Valerie Alexander does a stand up job of bringing a sexualized version of Never Neverland to life in “Fly.” It gets you excited for what the rest of the collection will have.

And then Best Women’s Erotica 2009 falls flat on its face, having done the exact opposite of “saving the best for last.” No, it gives it to you first and every other story pales in comparison. Sure, there are lots of themes: straight, gay and in between, BDSM, toys, anal sex, voyeurism, sex in public, roleplaying and more. And, in general, the writing is superb and the editing slick. Although, there is one story in particular, which I won’t name, that seems so sub-pay I can’t believe it actually made it into the book. There are authors whom I’ve read and enjoyed before. It’s safe to say that many have been previously published; this isn’t their first rodeo.

Yet, the entire volume is almost completely lackluster. Where it gets my attention at all, I find the stories to be too drawn out. Some of the pieces seemed to just go on forever and not even in the name of build-up; there were pieces that simply didn’t know where to end. I know that erotica is subjective, but there are usually 2 or 3 pieces that I really like in any given collection and a handful more I will enjoy upon rereading but may not necessarily remember. Most of the stories in this book, however, I forgot by the next time I picked up the book with only a day or so in between!

I suspect that maybe I shouldn’t be reading “Women’s” erotica. Maybe I need something more direct, less sensual, shorter. Perhaps I am not the right audience. Maybe I want to read less about love and sweet encounters (not that there isn’t more to be found in this volume). I concede and accept that. I’m still sort of shocked I didn’t enjoy myself more.

In fact, as I try to recall just what it is that I liked about other stories I’ve read, it strikes me that Best Women’s Erotic 09 is deeply rooted in reality – save for the Peter Pan story. There’s no tentacle sex, bestiality, or other fantasy. Essentially, there is nothing really different or unique. In fact, some of the stories are more than a little cliche, like the one about a woman having sex with her dance instructor. I just need something more out of the box.

Maybe if you prefer in-the-box, reality-rooted erotica with more sensuality than you might normally have, you’d enjoy Best Women’s Erotic ’09. I don’t know.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.