Sexy verbs beginning with the letter “G”.
Grind, gyrate, grope, grasp, grip, gasp, groan, grab, grin, give, glide, glisten
What to Say When She’s Tied Up
March 29th, 2009
The other day, a newbie joined a community of which I am a member. This person posted on the forums asking for help. You see, his wife had recently expressed to him her desire to be dominated and while he wanted to help, he wasn’t exactly sure how. I suspect this loving husband was not the only one who was confused. It seemed as though the wife, although she had acted as a “freaky lady” (his adoring words, not mine) was also confused about what she wanted. Perhaps she felt shame or embarrassment or was simple as uncertain about what steps to take to explore this new side of her sexuality.
She was able to eventually explain that while, yes, the physical was a turn on, it was really the words that got her juices flowing the most. As a fellow word lover, I can understand. Her husband, as eager as he was to assist, just didn’t know exactly what to say in the bedroom in order to give his wife the dominance she desired.
I found his plea for help refreshing and the way he wanted to work with his wife to explore this was touching. Although no expert in BDSM, I have been interested for many years. I might also I have played out many a BDSM fantasy in my head (sometimes as masturbation fodder, yes) and I thought I would give him a few suggestions.
- Use words and nicknames which designate that she is the one without power. IE: little, girl, mine, bitch, slut, whore, etc (“Daddy’s girl,” “You’re such a slut for me,” “What do we have here? A cock hungry little girl?” “Do you like it when I do X”)
- Require permission for things like switching positions, stopping oral, taking off clothes (yours, hers or both), getting in a certain position, etc and inflict punishment when this is ignored. (“Did I say you could do that?” spank when she does not ask permission or ignores)
- Require her to address you in a certain way (“Sir” “Master”)
- Tease and/or offer things in a manner which reminds her who is in charge (“wouldn’t you like that?” “you want me to go down on you, do you?” “Do you think you deserve X?”)
- Use words like “allow” “give” “permission” “acceptance” when referring to letting her do/have something while she uses terminology which says she wants you to do X rather than “we do X.”
- Make her “earn” treats such as oral, vaginal or anal sex, massage or her favourite position and show gratefulness for what you do (If you grant permission, require her to say “Thank You” or show it! “What do you say when I allow you to do X?”).
- Require her to be ready for sex in a certain room and position at X date and time (“I expect you to be spread eagle, naked on the bed this Friday as soon as I return from work.”)
- Suggest (and enforce) how you want her to appear (shaved pussy or not, panties/bra, other clothes, makeup and hair). Give her a “check” every X days.
The fact is, exploring anything new can be difficult, especially if you have a routine which works. We fear sounding or looking silly or unattractive even if we find new ideas to be arousing. The first time I wore something especially ‘sexy’ for my husband, I was terrified even though we were already married. I knew he would ultimately still love me and find me attractive even if he didn’t like what I put on but what if he just found me to be stupid?
And I’m not alone. Taking the first steps to incorporate BDSM into your sex life, wear a sexy costume, do a strip tease or role play can all be daunting tasks. Fortunately, I have some advice for all of these things. Sometimes you just have to fake it ’til you make it. As cliche as it sounds, sometimes we have to push ourselves to do uncomfortable things and fake the confidence until we actually develop it and can enjoy these activities.
On a more specific level, the mechanics of movement and words to use during specifics situations are things with which many struggle. People want to know what to say and how to say it and having a guide to work with can also bolster confidence. A lot of times, we can fudge our way through uncomfortable situations if we have something to work with. Remember the oral sex manual from American Pie? It was revered not only because of the content but because of the impact is had on those who used it.
So, for this doting husband who wasn’t sure what to say in order to dominate his wife the way she wanted, I suggested he say these things.
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I Am a Word Whore
December 7th, 2008
My husband and I met online. We had a lot of very satisfying rounds of cybersex. By that point, I was fairly experienced in talking dirty online and I knew what I want. He definitely did the job – and then some! – and I was happy to finally have a partner who consistently performed well.
Since amrrying and moving in together, we have obviously not had the chance to participate in such arousing activities and I have missed it.Words do so much for me and physical sex does not provide as much opportunity to use words as does cyber or phone sex. I found myself not being worked into the frenzy I had once known and my desire did seem to lessen a little.
Currently, my husband is away for business reasons. Left to my own devices, I feel as though I have rediscovered my sexuality. I’ve been playing with toys a lot, not just because I have many to review but because I find myself more aroused. I am feeling that desire deep within my body that I have no felt for ages. What’s more is I have been able to funnel this desire in my husband’s direction. I’m not simply masturbating and fantasizing. Rather, I am fantasizing about him and being with him.
In an unsually naughty mood last night, we exchanged sultry texts about how much we missed and wanted one another and what we would do when we are together again. I felt my heart beating faster. I grew wetter and more aroused as he described how hard his cock was for me. Though, I was in a better position to relieve my sexual tension and I quickly broke out a new toy and fucked myself with it roughly. Until I came.
I felt so renwed sexually. And almost relieved that my husband could still bring out these feelings in myself. I hadn’t before realized how much my libido might have been suffering from a lack of words. And then is when I realized it: I am a word whore. I would much rather have satisfying cyber sex than mediocre intercourse for the rest of my life. If someone can paint a picture with their words, I am more than willing to suspend disbelief and imagine myself into a place where we are both breathing heavily, sweating and grinding against eachother.
Perhaps using these words is easier when you’re on the other end of a computer but I have been to that place again and I do not want to go back. So I will make it my mission to use more words, during sex and all the time so that I can get into that sexual frenzy and the pounding of his hard cock will be what releases me.
